not your mother

File: 332 KB, 1536x1024, o-NIGELLA-LAWSON-facebook.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

not your mother Anonymous Mon Nov 9 15:35:33 2020 No.15031759 [DELETED]

If you could marry one female cook, knowing she would make dinner for you every day?
Well, who then, anon?

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 15:40:12 2020 No.15031783 >>15031759 i'd probably marry the scary lesbian who cooked at the weird diner i went to in university

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 15:42:27 2020 No.15031789 >>15031783 context pls

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 15:44:46 2020 No.15031798 File: 24 KB, 660x372, gi.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] For me, it's Giada.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 15:47:12 2020 No.15031809 >>15031789 The context is that when he went to university, there was a cook at the weird diner who was both a lesbian and scary.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 15:48:30 2020 No.15031815 >>15031789 >>15031809 this if CK2 has taught me anything, it's that marrying a lesbian is the best way to not get cucked

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 16:01:37 2020 No.15031868 File: 51 KB, 600x400, x.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>15031798 I feel like Giada would cheat on you relentlessly. I'd probably go for Molly Yeh, based on her current husband I would stand a chance

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 16:02:20 2020 No.15031874 >>15031868 he looks like soy mads mikkelsen

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 16:07:44 2020 No.15031889 File: 288 KB, 1427x2140, 15ee2c1ca3206de0cd2e1d4f7fa4a1df.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] rachel khoo. true heads know.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 16:10:13 2020 No.15031897 >>15031759 Fuck, I want that Jew Goddess to sit on my face forever

Anonymous Mon Nov 9 16:16:10 2020 No.15031909
File: 124 KB, 1280x720, lidia PBS italian kitchen.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>15031759
This fucking cunt on PBS is always making good shit, and I guess I could motorboat those tiddies.

Conversely, Sarah's Weeknight Meals can suck my dick. Half the time they aren't meals, and aren't possible to make on a weeknight.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 16:17:11 2020 No.15031918 >>15031798 I'LL BAKE YOUR COCK

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 16:19:41 2020 No.15031924 File: 1.17 MB, 480x266, 7fPOsY1.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>15031759

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 16:20:23 2020 No.15031931 >>15031759 Ree Drummond

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 16:21:21 2020 No.15031936 >>15031909 >A gilf fetish Go back

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 16:22:20 2020 No.15031942 >>15031924 why do you like eating horse cock so much anon?

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 16:23:18 2020 No.15031946 >>15031936 I haven't had sex in years, I'm honestly more anticipating the food.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 16:28:39 2020 No.15031960 File: 314 KB, 1996x1123, 351192063.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>15031936 gefilte fish?

>>	Jannies... Why? Mon Nov 9 16:33:05 2020 No.15031973 File: 1.46 MB, 217x217, 1599087840374.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>15031946 >I haven't had sex in years

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 16:34:03 2020 No.15031976 women can't cook

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 16:34:09 2020 No.15031978 >>15031759 >getting married in modern day america why do this to yourself? learning to cook will save you so much stress and disappointment.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 16:37:33 2020 No.15031991 File: 495 KB, 953x1282, 1506963134962.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>15031759 >being dependent on other people

Anonymous Mon Nov 9 17:13:02 2020 No.15032148
File: 297 KB, 1000x1500, molly-yeh-our-family-latkes-45.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>15031868
When I was younger and liked mean girls I would've found her insufferable, but I've learned that upbeat women are the only way to go. Plus I have a weakness for chipmunk cheeks.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 17:17:41 2020 No.15032169 Chip or whatever, those big grins always hide insecurities and deceipt. go goth

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 17:18:09 2020 No.15032177 >>15031759 I'd like to marry some fag chef and have a gay husband instead. We could both apologise for the death of George Floyd together.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 17:20:14 2020 No.15032185 >>15031759 that ugly chinese girl with a decent body that gets posted here

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 17:27:55 2020 No.15032226 File: 330 KB, 707x555, 1599843866824.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] For me, it's Claire Saffitz.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 17:29:02 2020 No.15032235 whats with all these chunky jewesses

Anonymous Mon Nov 9 17:34:06 2020 No.15032257
File: 9 KB, 208x242, download (5).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

My elementary school lunch lady... She might be dead that was 35 years ago. The rolls she came in early to make every day, the smell of unfiltered camels and those big mountainous breasts

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 17:37:55 2020 No.15032275 >>15031759 That blind gook from master chef she was super hot

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 17:40:45 2020 No.15032294 >>15031759 Nigella is 60 She;s your granny, not your mum

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 17:43:13 2020 No.15032309 >>15032294 ha, lies, Nigella is 40 and will always stay like that.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 17:44:38 2020 No.15032315 >>15032294 dont care still would

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 18:12:24 2020 No.15032421 File: 108 KB, 1200x900, 0_Nigella-Lawson-Portraits.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Nigella no questions

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 18:13:57 2020 No.15032431 just thinking about being in a relationship with a human being grosses me out.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 18:16:05 2020 No.15032445 File: 58 KB, 140x169, u wot m8.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>15032421

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 18:18:49 2020 No.15032462 File: 802 KB, 888x600, Anna-Olson-birthday-cake.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I'd like to help Anna make a creampie

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 18:19:57 2020 No.15032467 >>15031759 >>15031897 >>15032421 Absolute masterclass patrician taste >>15032294 Don't give a fuck. Would wife her in a heartbeat. Would step-father the fuck out of her kids, too. >>15032235 Think you meant stacked.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 18:22:11 2020 No.15032480 >>15032467 >Don't give a fuck. Would wife her in a heartbeat. t. incel

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 18:23:21 2020 No.15032489 >>15032480 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtS2Ikk7A9I

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 18:25:08 2020 No.15032499 >>15032480 How does that possibly make me an incel? >>15032489 There just went NNN

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 18:31:42 2020 No.15032527 File: 658 KB, 1080x1659, Screenshot_20201109-232803_Instagram.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >no gizzi ITT Buncha slack jawed faggots around here

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 18:35:25 2020 No.15032538 >>15031798 Only good answer. I don't really give a fuck about being cooked for, I just want someone attractive. And having eaten at her restaurant, it's good to know she won't feed me a bunch of shit that will get me fat.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 18:53:28 2020 No.15032600 >>15032489 >>15032499 after watching the video i have come to the conclusion that it would be wise to retract my statement

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 18:56:00 2020 No.15032611 >>15031889 bruh...i never thought i would find another person with the same taste.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 18:58:19 2020 No.15032618 >>15032527 that's a tranny

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 19:02:22 2020 No.15032633 File: 24 KB, 440x370, Capture.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] The blind chick from Master Chef.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 19:14:24 2020 No.15032700 File: 42 KB, 400x550, s-l640.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>15031759 I don't have to have sex with them, do I?

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 19:23:36 2020 No.15032752 File: 2.89 MB, 720x404, Sso 197.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] chef Ssoyoung

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 20:23:35 2020 No.15033115 File: 151 KB, 700x400, nerdy.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 20:25:28 2020 No.15033125 >>15031868 oh cool she's married to tony hawk

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 9 20:30:14 2020 No.15033145 File: 310 KB, 425x344, farideh.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>15031759 farideh, easy

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 00:14:17 2020 No.15034179 >>15033145 >>15033145 Hell fucking yeah, i would dive into that hearty bitch all night, slap her ass while she's making my greek feast, and crack some lame humor for her frumpy hoe ass

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 00:23:17 2020 No.15034211 >>15031936 >go back no, you

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 00:25:34 2020 No.15034217 i hate not being a contrarian faggot but for me, it's Nigella Lawson.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 00:31:00 2020 No.15034239 File: 32 KB, 450x338, laura-vitale-1541416324.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Definitely Nigella or Laura Vitale

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 00:32:35 2020 No.15034245 File: 320 KB, 950x950, francis-cooking-dog-fwx.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>15031759

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 00:33:47 2020 No.15034247 >>15032752 I think she will bite your dick off.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 00:36:19 2020 No.15034257 File: 102 KB, 1100x825, 5ee3c68f4dca68319d204d67[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>15032226 based

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 01:14:08 2020 No.15034438 >>15033115 not now that shes fucked her shit up though

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 01:15:34 2020 No.15034443 File: 195 KB, 1280x720, paris.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>15031759

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 01:24:20 2020 No.15034466 >>15033145 Classic case of someone’s personality making them fine af

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 01:33:14 2020 No.15034485 >>15034179 >lame humor Action Bronson did it in the nacho vid. You'll be disappointed.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 01:39:45 2020 No.15034501 Most likely nigella, a woman in the kitchen needs to have curves that I can molest while she focuses on cooking.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 01:44:37 2020 No.15034512 >>15031798 This is the only correct answer. Either her or Rachel Ray before she got fat. Although I would still nail RR fat or not.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 01:56:26 2020 No.15034544 >>15033115 Go back 5 years and this would be my answer. Then she got anorexia and now she's all bogged up. I'm gonna go with Priya. She's still young and she got them big ole titties.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 04:12:58 2020 No.15034955 >>15031759 My exe’s mom, she’s Greek and knows what she’s doing in the kitchen.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 04:17:58 2020 No.15034970 File: 530 KB, 1000x1476, Nigella Lawson 3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>15031759 >>15032421 >>15032445 What I would do to be the cream in her tart.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 04:36:49 2020 No.15035015 >>15031759 claire from bon appetit

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 04:37:54 2020 No.15035018 >>15034245 based

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 04:49:34 2020 No.15035045 >>15031759 My mom :^)

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 06:16:26 2020 No.15035192 >>15031924 pussy is probably MAAD. cant imagine the head.mmmm fuck damn rock hard rn

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 06:20:22 2020 No.15035201 >>15031924 I bet she's an absolute animal.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 08:33:53 2020 No.15035476 >>15032257 That made me laugh out loud haha

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 08:41:47 2020 No.15035497 >>15031798 Her or Classic Rachel Ray i.e. before she became humongous.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 08:50:31 2020 No.15035531 File: 211 KB, 265x380, husky.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>15033115 I used to watch husky starcraft back in the day. Recently I found out he was the worlds biggest simp and turned 100% soiboi for this chick.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 08:51:05 2020 No.15035533 File: 186 KB, 496x725, Screenshot_20201110-055042.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>15031759

Anonymous Tue Nov 10 09:11:32 2020 No.15035587

I just want someone that will let me be myself. Completely unafraid to speak my mind, share my genuine interests, fears, and concerns. I don't care if she can cook or not, just that she can speak honestly and listen earnestly.

What are the odds of that?

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 09:22:36 2020 No.15035625 >>15032633 Based. She couldn't believe her eyes when she won

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 09:25:06 2020 No.15035636 >>15035587 zero to none

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 09:46:43 2020 No.15035716 >>15031931 Correct answer

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 09:48:40 2020 No.15035720 >>15032752 I think her code parameters won't accept you

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 09:49:42 2020 No.15035724 >>15034245 Which one

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 10:22:49 2020 No.15035834 Sohla

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 10:23:42 2020 No.15035838 mai waifu

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 11:50:57 2020 No.15036148 File: 32 KB, 452x678, Maggie Beer.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Absolute babe

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 11:55:35 2020 No.15036166 File: 12 KB, 500x179, images (14).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>15031798 hehe

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 11:56:40 2020 No.15036172 File: 1.50 MB, 480x270, giphy (1).gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>15031759 Definitely the girl from that Viceland show

Anonymous Tue Nov 10 11:57:08 2020 No.15036174
File: 1.66 MB, 837x1262, 1441063207-delish-pioneer-woman-cookware-line.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>15031759
Breeding sow Ree Drummond. All day every day. Her entire existence is making strong children and feeding her family cowboy baked beans while they're out tending fences.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 11:57:26 2020 No.15036175 Mexican jew pati jinech

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 11:58:10 2020 No.15036176 >>15036172 degenerate filth

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 11:59:38 2020 No.15036181 >>15036174 gingers produce lousy offspring. (it's science, mate)

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 12:00:55 2020 No.15036186 File: 3.75 MB, 480x266, giphy (2).gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>15036176 Wrong

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 12:08:51 2020 No.15036203 >>15036174 kent rollins wife is hotter, and not a high maintenance rich bitch

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 12:56:59 2020 No.15036409 >>15036181 >>15036203 Ah, the incel demographic chiming in during an otherwise comfy thread. Neat

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 13:07:30 2020 No.15036451 >>15031960 >gefilte fish

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 15:08:44 2020 No.15036982 >>15031889 >RACHEL.......KHOOOOO little paris kitchen was so good bros

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 15:13:44 2020 No.15036995 >>15036181 A lot of notable historical leaders have been gingers. George Washington was one.

Anonymous Tue Nov 10 15:39:38 2020 No.15037086
File: 24 KB, 400x400, chef john.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>be me
>get home from work
>tired af
>lay down on the bed
>shoes still on because idgaf
>close my eyes, trying to forget the bullshit at work
>hear the door creak open slightly
>a strong smell of garlic and butter enters the room
>i hear the chipper ringing of porcelain placed on the end table next to me
>smell gets stronger
>practically under my nose by now
>"What's your food wish?"
>it's all garlic and butter
>feel sandpaper rub my upper lip momentarily
>suddenly, a warm moistness covers my mouth
>tastes like garlic and butter
>my nostrils are getting flossed by his gentle bristles
>he travels lower and lower, paving the path with his tongue, his mustache tickling me all the way down
>hairy pizza baker begin unzipping my pants
>"Around the outside... around the outside... around the outside..."
>he's become the Stroker of my Holy Poker

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 10 15:50:14 2020 No.15037129 >>15032421 >>15034970 She's the perfect milf and if she's not into roleplay m/s then i'll just do it in my head as she rides me to bless as her tits swing over my face

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/ck/ - Food & Cooking