2022-05-12: Ghost posting is now globally disabled. 2022: Due to resource constraints, /g/ and /tg/ will no longer be archived or available. Other archivers continue to archive these boards.Become a Patron!
>>14922797That is the most autistic way of making shishkebabs. Just cut shit and skewer it. Why go to this length
>>14922857That much much longer than 5 seconds.
>>14922857I thought for mayo you needed to add the oil slowly or else it wouldn't emulsify right?can you really just dump everything in and beat the shit out of it until it's thick?
>>14922797Top kek
>>14922951disgusting
>>14922902depends if you have an emulsifier blender its fine but a normal one you should add a little bit at a time
>>14922988I always love the taste of a full clove of cilantro
>>14922804do americans really?
I swear to god, does anybody ever actually use these recipes? It's like let's do something with less taste, more hassle, and some retarded schtick to reproduce a recipe that's 10x better when it's faithful. Every fucking dogshit idea in this thread has given me PTSD, I'm probably gonna stroke out and die soon.
>>14922893IGP stamp of approval products are still made with products from all over the world and full of additives. If you're looking for the top shelf authentic Italian food you have to look for the DOP (Denominazione di Origine Protetta) stamp
>>14922774Waste of a pineapple
>>14923593>an entire device to wash less than 8 disheswhat has the world come to these days
>>14922774>charcoal grilled salmon for a whole fucking hourUmmmm, no thanks. Totally a waste of salmon
>>14923607Sous vide, capable.
>>14922857just fucking buy it
>>14922771nice job burning that garlic, "Caitlyn"
>>14922771>Not just buying the bulk uncased sausage if you're going to uncase the links anyways
>>14922771>why does she have such manly hands>oh
>>14923096>Cilantro>Clove
>>14923109No.
>>14923788>>14923797>>14923807I wonder what they do with all this food
>>14923115They're clickbait, most aren't possible to actually reproduce following the videos.
>>14922862Autistic reasons of course. All the kebabs must be the same size
>>14922797>step 1 baking pan>step 2 two baking pansalready lost it there lol
>>14922967>comes out looking like a turd>frost it into a cakeKek
>>14922771so brave
>>14924237?
All of these cooking webms are just meat cheese carbs and the carbs and cheese is excessive fuck you and fuck America
Nice to see some oc for once. I guess the jackfags are asleep.
>>14924248Not that guy but it's from a movie called Isle of Dogs. It's a stop motion movie about a little japanese boy that goes to an island filled with dogs to save his dog. It's great. Watch jt.
>>14924218>Welch's>White sugar>80F>AT LEAST half a packet of wine yeastThis must be absolutely vile.
>>14924352Think you have to let it sit for 21 days.>>14924346TIL
>>14924373>Set to Yogurt>80F (26C)>48-50 hoursIt's basically pruno except with proper yeast.
>>14924381jesus
>>14923903He will eat later.
>>14922771>Fetto the chine with sausagesDoes he still have a sausage himself or is it gone already?
>>14924518that's a lot of food
>>14923593>>14923625
>>149245454u
>>14924248I'd forgotten about boiling out calories thanks anon
>>14922771>those hands and fingers
>>14924615Rest of her kinda cute tho
>>14924731She is probably one of the only women to have a gold Olympic medal in a men's competition.And she can cook, I say that's wifey material.
>>14922774>salmon without a searshould be illegal.
>>149236078 dishes a night and it saves water..
>>14923607>>14924872>using more than 8 dishes a weekhehahaha
>>14924906disgusting
>>14924927
>>14922771>hands of an 80 year old auschwitz surviverjesus fuck living with the kardashians really does drain your soul
>>14922862Actually seems like a decent way to make a lot at once especially if you had a much larger tray
>>14923694why? it takes 5 minutes to make homemade mayo and it tastes significantly better. stop being lazy
>>14925117>significantly betternah you can just buy mayo that's actually made from whole eggs>>14925117have to make waaaaaaaaay too much, that's the benefit of storebought it lasts
>>14925158
>>14923593I mean, amazing for a tiny, one-room Japanese apartment.
>>14922804>>14923109https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNto-3DvDpwIt's not the americans you're looking for bud.
>>14922771Thought it was a dude until I saw the hair then I thought, " damn, she's got man hands..." Does this make me a bigot?
>>14922804You know it's bad when their final presentation is the epitome of sloppa.
I can never tell if you guys are posting meme recipes or real ones
>>149242181 siphon and 1 sachet of finings is all the difference between milky diarrhoea juice and actually drinkable plonk.
how are you getting the webm file sizes so small?
>>14925449640=70 sec,600=100sec,540=120sec
>>14925482thanks, time limits is what had me confused.
>>14925517I wonder why it's all glitchy. >>14925482ill try this converter
Cropped and resized...
>>14925561I could easily do it on premier pro on windows but I don't want to depend on cracked software so i'm trying to do it on freeware on linux, I'll figure it out eventually.
>>14925561Time for bed...obviously.
>>14925574You can do all that with WM for retards. Just screwed up my post. make your file sizes under 3, like 2.95.File related
>>14925618>>14925622>>14925626>>14925633More, I love ja/ck/ threads
>>14925611Yea I already downloaded it, will compile and experiment tomorrow. Thanks.
>>14925642>NP
>>14925683If he had stuck the landing and let it rest a couple minutes that would be a pretty good omelette.
>Troll just starts reposting the exact same Jack posts from the prior thread
>>14924884I will never not laugh when I see him try to shake the pot after it sets on fire
>>14925971>ooh lookin good nice n toasty just needs a little stir...>that should do
>>14922857>51 second long video>"5 second mayonnaise"
>>14922771I didn't realize it was tranny mcretard at first. I was like how old is this bitch and those are some of the worst camera angles I've ever seen. god mutha fuckin dam
>>14922857>dumps ALL the oil in one go>THEN pulls out the blenderwhat the fuck
>>14926122>>14926132embarrasing
>>14926122>>14926132>dumps ALL the oil in one go>THEN pulls out the blender
>>14922902I'm doing it like this basically and it always works out, maybe I have some kind of "emulsification blender" by chance as other anon pointed out
>>14923040>cover the ends>there's no corn below
God, my biggest issue with these stupid ass recipes is the lack of both knife skills and using the correct knife for half the tasks.
>>14926140>>14926150>bully me for typo delete postTAKE IT BACK RIGHT NOW
>>14923168They don't make commercials like that anymore.
>>14923593Do the Japanese really?
thread needs more jack webms
>>14924381this is just the ymir story from shingeki no kyojin
>>14924568>4u
>>14926450kek
>>14922862It isn't bad if it was all just meat. The sausage just add inconsistency to the skewer. Then meats and vegetables and be grilled separately
>>14922771at first I thought it was some old man prepping foodi was right...
>>14925637I'm not sure Jack has anything other than a retarded explanation for this but I've used a water bottle from the freezer to flatten out dough for arlettes (I think) so that the butter heavy dough didn't melt
>>14924778muh sear
>>14925046>stupid amount of ebinly melting cheese>baaaaaconsigh
>>14926614It's literally "I don't own a rolling pin and I'm not buying one just for a single video", despite a decent portion of his videos being product reviews that he pays for himself. It doesn't make any sense.
the ironic thing about ja/ck/ is if he was just slightly better at cooking his target demographic would be the average /ck/ poster
>>14926645>american_cooking.webm
Fuck the same old jack reposts, I wanna know who this Tibetan kino merchant is
>>14923788>>14923797>>14923807>>14923897Source??
>>14927100https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzFe-1_cMY4fzEhBk80acZg
>>14922857Did he put sugar in his mayo or was that salt?I sincerely hope it wasnt sugar.
>>14927127His voice is exactly as I imagined thanks.
>>14926900Agreed, we need fresher Jack posts.
>>14925961ahhh yes, the famous tibetan olive oil
>>14927247of everything in these webms clearly out of place for "tibetan" you really choose the olive oil
>>14925831Who is that guy? I love him so comfy
>>14924977gonna try this with tuna instead of pilchards
>>14925618I really think at this point it's his camera. I wouldn't eat that slop but conceptually a lot of the dump meals he makes are standard midwest or southern garbage affairs that don't even look that bad when made by ANY other trailer trash besides him.
>>14927307https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbHjQsX9_8o&list=PLp9faqy4jGRF2GCWLT1JOkSW2csbJD5gX
>>14922771zero fucking finesse
>>14928568me at 3am on the weekends
>>14923899>>14925189holy shit, do Brits really?
>>14925622>that still hand
>>14924778t. never had boiled salmon chops
>>14924037Fake. Selective camera cuts.
2 lbs. Ground Beef2 tbsp. Mustard1 1/3 cup Tomato Sauce3 1/2 cup Water4 cups Parboiled/Converted Rice2 cups Shredded Cheddar CheeseInstructions:Brown beef over the stovetop. Drain.Add mustard, tomato sauce, and water. Bring to a boil.Drop temperature to low and stir in rice. Top with cheese.Cover and simmer for 25 minutes.
>>14928922damn, didnt know he could make food so well.
>>14922879>that endingWhat I do to OPs mom
>>14922893>made following strict food guidelines5 seconds later dude smacks it with a bare hand lol okay...
>>14929494Hope you enjoyed it.>Fliename
>>14922879>muh bacon>muh cheesefuckin lardass americans
>>14929373>Poached salmon>Clearly steamed, with the salmon held above liquid by herbs and shallot
>>14929727>>14929986>These are Brits doing these things
>>14922804What the fuck. I thought that was just Kay being a fucking scitzo, is this where she got the idea? You can see the pasta isn't done in the center and it's gonna have that gross texture it gets when it cooks togethrr especially at the end. I hate this, GJ
>>14929992>that food>brits
>>14930085>it's gonna have that gross texture it gets when it cooks togethrr especially at the endthis, I wasn't gonna hate until I saw that soggy lump of badly cooked pasta when they lifted it outwhy the fuck wouldnt you cook pasta normally I don't get it it's the easiest fucking thing in the world to cook
>>14925938He thinks he's some "le epic troll" by trying to ruin every weebm thread by spamming the same shit over and over.
>>14922771This is some of the most annoying camerawork I have ever seen.
>>14923797What's the point of that salmon wheel?It's only heating one side of the fish anyway.
>>14930185all of the vids are impracticalyou haven't noticed the overly-dramatic unecessary way in which he does absolutely everything? it's not terrible but don't kid urself it's anything more than viral-bait
>>14924373I like this guy, you know his name or what to search for?
>>14922771why the fuck is the camera always moving?
>>14922903why would you boil a potato whole and then slice it. It's faster to slice it and boil it for 8 minutes. >>14922913everything about that is wrong.>>14922951no>>14922967I hate watching people who don't know how to cook.>>14923040what the fuck is wrong with you people.>>14923337vomit inducing>>14923593>>14923625what totally useless devices.>>14923645disgusting>>14924037that is not BBQ.>>14924052I notice they didn't show them dumping off the 2 cups of grease you would get from that.>>14924248nothing about that is keto>>14925618>>14925622>>14925626>>14925633>>14925637>>14925646>>14925655>>14925659>>14925669>>14925677>>14925683>>14925688>>14925694>>14925700>>14925706>>14925716>>14925727>>14925734>>14925745>>14925748>>14925754>>14925758>>14925764>>14925771>>14925779>>14925795>>14925800>>14925811>>14925817>>14925822>>14925828>>14925837>>14925846>>14925855>>14925861>>14925866>>14925875>>14925886>>14925895>>14925897>>14925904>>14925910>>14925915>>14925919>>14925925>>14925929>>14925931>>14925936>>14925940>>14925946>>14925954>>14925957>>14926645>>14927200This guy is the banana of /ck/ stop posting this shit. He's the anti-christ of cooking. he makes me not want to eat. if I was trying to learn to cook and saw this guy first I would an hero.>>14929270garbage
>>14923593how the hell is this perfect for a family of four? it can barely hold four place setting's worth of dishes. you could have to do like 3 loads of dishes every single day just between the cookware and tableware
>>14930490it would be faster and easier to just do them by hand.
>>14923797I wonder how much that much salmon is worth
>>14924037why the hell do they have to take the handle off every step of the way?
the juxtaposition of jack fucking up the simplest things and a Tibetan Shepard enjoying a calm and fulfilling life is killing me
>>14922771>turns the sausage inside outSubtle.
>>14930521
Who wants some chugs?
>>14930344See>>14928234Tibetan Food -High Altitude Cooking
>>14930490>>14925179>>14926293>>14930486It's designed for the japanese lifestyle, it won't work for the average obese 300 pounds american and his hamplanet family.
>>14930632>he doesn't turn das boot
>>14931058>fit a few plates>cups>no pot>no pans>no chopping boardsit's designed for 1 person and even then it's a bad design
>>14930486faggotron alert
>>14930632What is that hes chugging
>>14931318Cream corn.
>>14930486based
>>14923807that's some satan shit
>>14930486You're fucking gay
>>14922771>scraping the knife
>>14922771what a milf, shes gorgeous
>see white hands>it's either jack-tier bullshit or the greatest thing I've ever seenI just don't get white people. Why is there no middle ground with you?At least with brown/black hands, I know what to expect.
>>14923625>takes just 10 minutes to wash 8 dishesIf it takes you any longer than 5 to do that by hand, you're retarded.
These are the most vile threads on this board.
>>14928234>>14930810Cheers guys.
>>14923593JUST WASH THEM BY HAND, YOU LAZY ASSHOLES
>>14925971And when he tries to put the fire out with a splash of water.
>>14924731>>14924777His. He
>>14924800Probably the best on this thread.
>>14925017No potatoes?
>>14922797Abhorrent.>>14922804Reasonable>>149228519/10 would hit>>14922857Trash. Consistency looks fine, but the emulsification is poor.>>14922879Enter the useless bacon.
>>14922771>that awful knife skillNo wonder Bruce became Caitlyn.
>>14928599Pathetic
>>14926282what commercials? the one where the white man is shown as a pathetic loser while the black man is energetic and desirable?that hasn't changed
>>14925938>>14930151>>14930486You want to repost a stupid webm that everyday, then you're going to get a stupid webm thread everyday
>>14926637i tried a filet of salmon that i only flipped once but i gave the skin side a lot longer than the filet side and i would say 10 percent of the sear failed on the skin and was completely burnt, which i am ok withif you like pork rinds or fried chicken this is something you should try because this is the caviar of that
>>14927153Holy shit i never even imagined that his voice was going to sound like that.
>>14922771How tall is that ogre? They could have given it a work surface that was a reasonable height.
>>14924731Do your parents know that you're gay?
>>14930486faggot
>>14922797what a terrible video
>>14925716>doesn't even take the sticker off the appleThis man has to be trolling.
>>14922797what was the fucking point of the plastic wrap?
>>14932237Faustian all-or-nothing romanticism
>>14923645>seasoning
>>14934549>what was the fucking point of the plastic wrap?To stop the pans from moving; they were just stacked on top of each other, not interlocked.
>>14922893is this supposed to be schocking? this how industrial sausage is made, who fucking cares...
>>14937424>>14933579>>14927247>>14924258>>14923115__________$$$$$$_________$$____$$_________$$$__$$$_________$$_$$_$$_________$$____$$_________$$____$$_________$$____$$_________$$____$$$$$$$___$$$$$$$$____$$____$$_$$$$$___$$____$$____$$$$$$$$$_$$___$$____$$____$$___$$$$__$$___$$____$$____$$___$$$$__$$___$$____$$____$$___$$$$__$$___$$____$$___$$$___$$$$__$$___$$____$$____$____$$$$____$$$__$$$$__$$$$___$_$$$$________________________$$_$$_______________________$$_$$$_____________________$$__$$$$_________________$$$____$$_________________$____$$$_______________$$
>>14932405>>14937424>>14933579>>14927247>>14924258>>14923115__________$$$$$$_________$$____$$_________$$$__$$$_________$$_$$_$$_________$$____$$_________$$____$$_________$$____$$_________$$____$$$$$$$___$$$$$$$$____$$____$$_$$$$$___$$____$$____$$$$$$$$$_$$___$$____$$____$$___$$$$__$$___$$____$$____$$___$$$$__$$___$$____$$____$$___$$$$__$$___$$____$$___$$$___$$$$__$$___$$____$$____$____$$$$____$$$__$$$$__$$$$___$_$$$$________________________$$_$$_______________________$$_$$$_____________________$$__$$$$_________________$$$____$$_________________$____$$$_______________$$
>>14922771why do americans have to wrap everything with bacon and stuff it with cheese? for fucks sake it's like a 6 year old made these recipes.
>>14922771Thought it was a black woman at first dang
rest in peace thread
>>14930486why do faggots always have shit up a thread with a mass reply
>>14922771Is that a pasta sauce recipe? Is the cook a tranny? You've given us more questions than answers OP.
>>14930143God I do not miss prison, but I'm white and only every once in a while did I have to resort to such methods. I went hungry plenty of times, just because I didn't want everyone to know my commissary was always full, but there are a million variants of that one.
>>14922893Is this the chicken nuggie paste from macca's
>>14938689Because bacon and cheese are delicious?
>>14923625>countertop dishwasherYou mean my wife sitting on the counter?
>>14922951Look I hate minorities and all that, but white people need to be stopped. Please. Somebody. Stop us.
>>14922784This needs a (you)
>>14922879Where the fuck do I find those adorable bell peppers
>>14941414*americansan European wouldn't even think of such atrocities
I like how some of these, when if served to you, would be like "wow, that thing looks huge!" Then it's cut open and it is 90% melted cheese surrounded by thin layer of meat. I would be miffed
If jack was aiming to be like henry's kitchen, he would be a fucking comedic master, but sadly he is serious
>>14922797"spice mix"erm what spices?