/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.14918997]

/ck/ humor

[Anonymous No.14919012]

>>14918997
i don't get it

[Anonymous No.14919022]

>>14919012
Women are objects and their feelings and opinions are of no concern to me.

[Anonymous No.14919034]

>>14918997
Haha, it do be like that

[Anonymous No.14919036]

>>14919022
I've been with my wife for 10 years now. We met in high school, and I got her pregnant. She is and always has been a lazy person and a shit cook. I wouldn't even mind eating shit food if she at least made it on time. But she rarely did.

We'd get into screaming arguments constantly about how lazy and worthless she was. I felt like an asshole for it, but goddamn she was a real piece of work. The only reason I dealt with all this was for the kids, and also because the sex is great.

But one night, I got fed up. Not only did she get drunk, neglect the kids, and made me top Ramen for dinner, but she decided to give me attitude too. She was being real fucking bitchy. So I told my grandparents to keep an eye on the kids and told my wife we were going to go out and have dinner together. I drove maybe 3 blocks to a quiet area (we live in Oregon, it's not hard to find a quiet field) and I got out of the car, went around like I was going to open her door for her and let her out, and I just beat the shit out of her while she was still seatbelted. After a few punches, I asked her if she wanted to go back to her parents. She started screaming and yelling and said yes, so I beat the shit out of her again. Then I asked her what she wanted to do. She finally got smart and said she wanted to go home. So I took her home and dared her to start trouble. I even handed her my cellphone and dialed her mom's number on the drive home. I made her talk to her mom, while daring her to fucking say something.

Before that incident, I had never laid a hand on her. But I had always threatened it. I told her "one of these days, if you don't straighten up, I'm going to lay hands on you."

All my meals have been on time, and she just recently tried to make a meatloaf. It was mediocre, but I was just thrilled that she tried.

Do with this information what you will.

[Anonymous No.14919042]

>>14919012

He eagerly licks between a nasty sweating bleeding urinating orifice but is a taste-let baby mouth bitch when it comes to eating something else much less disgusting

[Anonymous No.14919049]

>not making her go down on you instead

[Anonymous No.14919065]

>>14918997
Who actually eats ass? Like wtf? I'll eat pussy all day, but booty? That's where dookie come from

[Anonymous No.14919077]

>>14919065
And the pussy bleeds and pisses. Who cares.

[Anonymous No.14919087]

For me, it's the caramel macchiato. The best coffee bar beverage. I even ask for extra caramel drizzle sauce and the staff is so friendly and more than willing to oblige.

One time I asked for more caramel drizzle and they gave me three. I said, "Wow, three for free!" and the nice friendly Starbucks worker laughed and said, "I'm going to call you 3-for-free!".

Now the staff greets me with "hey it's 3-for-free!" and ALWAYS give me three lines of drizzle. It's such a fun and cool atmosphere at my local Starbucks restaurant, I go there at least 3 times a week for breakfast and a venti iced caramel macchiato with extra drizzle, 1-2 times for lunch on the weekend, and maybe once after work when I'm in a rush but want a great drink that is affordable, fast, and can match my daily nutritional needs.

I even dip my pastries in caramel sauce, it's delicious! What a great restaurant.

[Anonymous No.14919090]

>>14919036
Nice pasta bro a bit stale though

[Anonymous No.14919098]

>>14919090
Very fucking stale.

[Anonymous No.14919106]

>>14919090
>>14919098

[Anonymous No.14919156]

>>14919036
reported. Have fun degenerate abuser

[Anonymous No.14919171]

>>14919156
thanks.
I need help

[Anonymous No.14919180]

>>14919106
Your mother died in an accident, and your father thinks about you in his loneliness.

[Anonymous No.14919201]

>>14918997
haha, sex funny.

[Anonymous No.14919203]

>>14919036
nice newfag attractor

[Anonymous No.14919318]

>>14919077
Pussy really doesn’t taste that bad. Unfortunately I have an average sized pp so I sometimes have to resort to eating pussy to make a girl coom

[Anonymous No.14919929]

>>14918997

[Anonymous No.14919966]

>>14919156
newfaggot

[Anonymous No.14919972]

>>14918997

[Anonymous No.14919976]

>>14919201
Professional comedians don't get their laughs from anything else, so I don't see what you're whinging about. Sometimes they slip a few smarter jokes in between, but they wouldn't get paid without the sex stuff.

[Anonymous No.14920381]

>>14919077
Girls don't have a third hole they pee from?

[Anonymous No.14920406]

>>14919966
newfaggot

[Anonymous No.14920434]

>>14920381
Women have a vagina, the vagina expells urine. The more you know.

[Anonymous No.14920453]

>>14919972
comedic fucking genius

[Anonymous No.14920455]

>>14919065
thats why its kinky
its clean if you both have a shower beforehand and her finger her a bit.

[Anonymous No.14920456]

>>14920434
what is the urethra? fucking retard

[Anonymous No.14920461]

>>14919036
That's horrifying.
How does anyone fuck up a meatloaf? Underseasoned?

[Anonymous No.14920465]

>>14920434
>American "education".jpg

[Anonymous No.14920468]

>>14919036
you could have just talked to her instead of assulting her..... hope u rot in jail

[Anonymous No.14920469]

>>14919036
Violence is always the solution.

[Anonymous No.14920478]

>>14920461
She left it in too long and the ketchup got a strange plastic film

[Anonymous No.14920554]

>>14920456
The urethra is part of the males penis. it expells urine and semen.

[Anonymous No.14920558]

>>14920456
What is the vagina? answer: something you will never see in real life.

[Anonymous No.14920561]

>>14919156
Please kys

[Anonymous No.14920564]

>>14920468
Based pretending to be a newfag bait

[Anonymous No.14920594]

>>14920564
Based perceptive anon

[Anonymous No.14920629]

>>14919036
violence gets me rock hard

[Anonymous No.14920675]

>>14919036
Kinky roleplaying you got going on there, good for you.

[Anonymous No.14920753]

>>14919036
>Not even yakisoba
She had it coming.

[Anonymous No.14920794]

>>14919036
enjoy getting your asshole stretched in prison faggot

[Anonymous No.14920799]

>>14920794
ok nightpain

[Anonymous No.14920977]

>>14919036
HOLY BASED

[Anonymous No.14920992]

>>14920381
The urethra is right next to their clit

[Anonymous No.14921004]

>>14920794
>/mlp/
I think it’s you who needs to be reported to the fbi

[Anonymous No.14921007]

>>14921004
what's mlp

[Anonymous No.14921102]

>>14921007
Christ you tourists need to go. mlp is “my little pony” and the spook I responded to had the /mlp/ board open on his browser

[Anonymous No.14921120]

>>14921102
is that a cartoon? why do you care

[Anonymous No.14921192]

>>14919156
>sir we keep getting rape reports from an anime cooking message board

[Anonymous No.14921225]

>>14919976
crowd work is extremely fucking easy, you underestimate me

[Anonymous No.14921851]

>>14921120
Because people who watch it deserve the bullet

[Anonymous No.14922015]

>>14919318
how big?

[Anonymous No.14922053]

>>14920794

>the FBI investigates domestic violence

Im surrounded by fucking idiots.

[Anonymous No.14922107]

>>14922053
>he doesn't know what the Party Van is

[Anonymous No.14922115]

>>14918997
this just SPEAKS to me.......

[Anonymous No.14922218]

>>14922107

I know exactly what it is, youre just a newfag who read about it on meme.com and doesnt know the history, fuck off and do your homework, you have class tomorrow.

[Anonymous No.14922236]

>>14922218
jealous much? btfo'd pretty hard there stop seething bro

[Anonymous No.14922298]

>>14921851
what if you just play with the little horse toys

[Anonymous No.14922556]

>>14920794
you bastard

[Anonymous No.14922850]

>>14922218
>youre just a newfag
Says the guy who didn't recognize a 4chan filename on a joke image.

[Anonymous No.14922938]

>>14919036
Based

[Anonymous No.14922998]

>>14919036
Newfags dont know that this is peak /ck/ humor, beating women, at cooking ofcourse.

[Anonymous No.14923028]

>>14919065
sometimes in the heat of the moment things just kinda happen

[Anonymous No.14923062]

>>14918997
>/ck/ humor
>funniest thing in thread is retards all angry at other retards
Fuck /ck/ is low iq.

[Anonymous No.14923070]

[Anonymous No.14923074]

[Anonymous No.14923081]

>>14920794
nice bait

[Anonymous No.14923120]

[Anonymous No.14923121]

>>14919036
I like more the pasta about that guy consenting about pegging to make his gf happy and she perforated his intestine, resulting in lifelong shit bag and finally she dumped him because of that

[Anonymous No.14923124]

>>14918997
wow, normalfaggot humor
hilarious

[Anonymous No.14923125]

>>14919929
AZ champs right there

[Anonymous No.14923129]

>>14918997

[Anonymous No.14923161]

>>14923074
I don't get it

[Anonymous No.14923182]

>>14923070
>bus nut
Wut?

[Anonymous No.14923192]

>>14923129
Homosexuals

[Anonymous No.14923205]

>>14923121
a gay would think that

[Anonymous No.14923208]

>>14923124
post2016 4chan is basically reddit, newfag

[Anonymous No.14923256]

>>14918997

[Anonymous No.14923333]

>>14923192
i know its an easy target, but niko is a top. pretty decent dick too.

[Anonymous No.14923346]

>>14923333
He is most definitely a bottom

[Anonymous No.14923348]

>>14923161
not "two scoops of 1/4 cup" but "2.25 cups"
he added less than a quarter of the required amount

[Anonymous No.14924225]

>>14918997

[Anonymous No.14924247]

>>14918997
pussy is delicious
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2c9q6zVp-I

[Anonymous No.14924253]

>>14923074
That's at least an easy fix. Accidentally adding less is better than more.

[Anonymous No.14924257]

>>14919036

I love this pasta.

[Anonymous No.14924284]

>>14919049
I genuinely enjoy eating pussy and I hate it

[Anonymous No.14924294]

>>14919065
my gf loves eating my ass for some reason and ngl, this shit is not only kinky af but feels godly

[Anonymous No.14924324]

>>14919036
Haven't seen this in awhile.

[Anonymous No.14924350]

>>14919036

what a beta faggot

[Anonymous No.14924362]

>>14924294
Can I have a turn?

[Anonymous No.14924388]

>>14923129

[Anonymous No.14924396]

>>14918997

[Anonymous No.14924400]

>>14924362
i mean you can mock me but i swear anon, open your mind a bit and let your partner do it. it will make you moan like a little bitch

[Anonymous No.14924421]

>>14923256
That is truly terrifying.

[Anonymous No.14924438]

>>14924253
innit
anon was retarded but his dough would be fine

[Anonymous No.14924498]

>>14920794
excellently done

[Anonymous No.14924600]

>>14924421
I like polar bears

[Anonymous No.14924608]

>>14919087
Your version isn't funny like the mcdonalds one.

[Anonymous No.14924609]

>>14923074
mildly humorous

[Anonymous No.14924629]

>>14918997

I'll never understand the mentality of humanity. You're willing to ingest someone's semen. Even suck someone's cock after coming out of your anus. Or suck on whatever funky body part or put your tongue into a stranger's mouth. And yet, you're a "picky eater". Just absolutely pants on head fucking retarded.

[Anonymous No.14924643]

[Anonymous No.14924659]

>>14923333
>is a top
>has issues with things leaking out of his gaping asshole
unlikely

[Anonymous No.14924684]

>>14923074
this is your brain on imperial
jk I can't believe it's real, someone asking the guy what he used to dose flour is just to convenient

[Anonymous No.14924703]

>>14923129
Is that a common occurrence for fags? Shit jut leaking out of their asshole?

[Anonymous No.14924714]

>>14924684
Imperial always makes more sense, it's a base 8 measurement which is superior to base 10 in every possible way

[Anonymous No.14924724]

>>14924703
their assholes are so relaxed that if it's a soft bowel movement it just slips out, but if it's a more firm one they can't push it out and need to take softeners

[Anonymous No.14924732]

>>14919065
>doing either
The propaganda really has kicked in quick. Both of these are absolutely fucking disgusting, as are blowjobs. This is the power of decades of feminist and homosexual media brainwashing

[Anonymous No.14924745]

>>14924629
Clean anus tastes pleasant. Brussel sprouts taste like dirty anus.

[Anonymous No.14924756]

>>14919036

[Anonymous No.14925110]

>>14924629
one is arousing and the other isnt.

[Anonymous No.14925113]

>>14923333
if you have watched their sex tapes (why wouldn't you?) Olin is the top, niko is the bottom.

[Anonymous No.14925205]

>>14920468
>you could have just talked to her
That doesn't work with everyone, and clearly hasn't with her.

[Anonymous No.14925208]

>>14919036
That's just really sad, pasta or not. :(

[Anonymous No.14925487]

>>14920794
very expertly crafted my good sir, you just won the internets narwhal bacon

[Anonymous No.14925592]

>>14925208
it's old, old pasta. but yes, wicked is the heart of man.

[Anonymous No.14925859]

>>14920794
fuck you

[Anonymous No.14925893]

>>14920794
quite subtle, I keked

[Anonymous No.14925908]

>>14923129
>his pfp is from when he was still thin
lmao

[Anonymous No.14925952]

>>14920794
cunt.

[Anonymous No.14926119]

>>14919318
>Pussy really doesn’t taste that bad.
What a fucking retarded thing to say.
All pussy does not taste the same. There's a huge variation. A sweet 19 year old slim blonde girls pussy vs a 50 year old fat fucking flabby black skanks pussy.
Some pussy is the most amazing thing you will taste and some is the most disgusting

[Anonymous No.14926131]

Tip with a rip

[Anonymous No.14926242]

>>14923129

[Anonymous No.14926328]

>>14924253
If you add too much of one thing, that just means there's too little of everything else.

[Anonymous No.14926339]

>>14924643
The added thermal energy doesn't enrich the food by itself. Its purpose is to add enough energy into the system to overcome thresholds of localised maxima in entropy in order to trigger chemical reactions which alter the food in ways that make it safer to eat (by killing harmful microorganisms or breaking up certain toxic compounds into harmless ones), or to make it easier to digest by going through part of the digestion process before consumption).

[Anonymous No.14926518]

>>14924714
now THIS is your brain on imperial

[Anonymous No.14926576]

>>14926242
I hope this is fresh OC

[Anonymous No.14926586]

>>14919065
My ex used to eat my ass while I jerked myself off then I would cum down her throat
10/10 would recommend

[Anonymous No.14926783]

>>14920434
ahahahahaha you fucking virgin

[Anonymous No.14926801]

>>14919087
For me, it's not the McChicken. The worst fast food sandwich. I always have to ask for extra McChicken sauce packets and the staff is so unfriendly and never willing to oblige.

One time I asked for McChicken sauce packets and they gave me none. I said, "Wow, not even one!” and the rude unfriendly McDonald's worker laughed and said, "I'm going to call you not even one!”.

Now the staff mocks me with "hey it's not even one!” and NEVER gives me an extra packet. It's such a depressing and douchey atmosphere at my local McDonald's restaurant, I try not to go more than 3 times a week for lunch or a large iced coffee with milk instead of cream, 1-2 times for breakfast on the weekend, and maybe once for dinner when I'm in a rush and am unable to get a great meal that is affordable, fast, and can match my daily nutritional needs.

I won’t even dip my fries in McChicken sauce, it's disgusting! What a terrible restaurant.

[Anonymous No.14926803]

>>14920794
>furcadia still exists
proof that furries are unable to move on due to refusing to evolve from their childhood traumas