/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.14782361]

ITT: Cooking practices that will cause you to start beating someone

[Anonymous No.14782363]

>>14782361
grilled tendies

[Anonymous No.14782367]

>>14782361
I don't understand

[Anonymous No.14782383]

>>14782367
There is a retarded, yet albeit longstanding, tradition in fried rice recipes not to make the fried scrambled eggs mix first and add to the finished rice at the end (like any sane person would do), but instead to make a bowl in the middle of the now quickly burning rice, crack egss directly into that spot, haphazardly attempt to scramble the eggs in this tiny area, then, when it becomes apparent that it won't ever fucking work, mix it into the now overcooked rice and make an ad hoc casserole of mushy shit tier garbage.

[Anonymous No.14782387]

>>14782363
What the ever living fuck. Why would you bread something then grill it?

[Anonymous No.14782394]

>>14782363
lol yeah thats peak retardation

[Anonymous No.14782409]

>>14782361
>>14782383
I feel you on this. I grew up with my white mom making fried rice like this and bless her soul but it's no good. I learned how to actually make fried rice later in life and was blown away at how much better and closer it was to restaurant fried rice with just a straightforward change.

[Anonymous No.14782425]

>>14782383
Who cares lol

[Anonymous No.14782429]

>>14782425
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[Anonymous No.14782609]

>>14782383
>quickly burning rice
rice won't get burnt, as their moisture content prevents it unless you blast it at 500C for half an hour
>>14782409
cracking eggs directly into the hole is fine if your technique and stove are up to it
else use the eggs at the start to absorb oil and act as a separator
don't be stupid

[Anonymous No.14782648]

>>14782383
I always intentionally mixed the liquid egg and rice to make it thick and gooey

[Anonymous No.14782667]

>>14782609
t. utter retard

[Anonymous No.14782710]

>>14782361
>>14782383
>>14782667
This literally makes the bestest fried rice. Who would want to egg dry ass eggs lmao

[Anonymous No.14782719]

>>14782609
>unless you blast it at 500C
Do you not understand the process that underlies the production of fried rice? You are triggering my beating reflex yourself

[Anonymous No.14782720]

>>14782710
Ok, then call it something else, like stovetop egg casserole retard edition

[Anonymous No.14782730]

>>14782383
welllll SOR-RY uncle gook, how about you ENLIGHTEN us all on how to make the PERFECT FRIED RICE?

[Anonymous No.14782734]

>>14782720
You can call it that. Me and most other people will keep calling it by its rightful name.

[Anonymous No.14782758]

>>14782730
im a ghostly white irish mick, i just hate fucking shit fryry and this is how me ma made it

[Anonymous No.14782761]

>>14782734
"Garbage hobo donations" doesn't really inspire the same mouth-watering anticipation

[Anonymous No.14782770]

>>14782761
>Garbage hobo donations
Apt name for dry ass eggs lmao

[Anonymous No.14782773]

I fucking HATE the "one pot pasta" trend. Although it is technically possible to cook pasta like this, the pasta won't cook properly and it will also lose all its starch into the sauce, making it look like glue and taste like shit. Not to mention that making pasta like this is incredibly rude and totally lacks elegance.

[Anonymous No.14782774]

>>14782770
I will fucking rape you and everyone you've ever made physical contact with (hypothetically and with due process in Cooking Mama)

[Anonymous No.14782779]

>>14782773
REEEEEEEEEE WTF IS THIS

[Anonymous No.14782814]

>>14782758
fair enough lad, but it's only right to have a Mum who's a bit shit at cooking. it's comfy.

[Anonymous No.14782893]

Why would you want your eggs cooked into rubber? What?

[Anonymous No.14782899]

>>14782383
Imagine being butthurt about this. Just push all the rice to the side so you have half the pan to scramble your egg.

[Anonymous No.14782902]

>>14782609
>rice won't get burnt, as their moisture content prevents it unless you blast it at 500C for half an hour
When you make fried rice it's supposed to be done at a really high temperature and you're supposed to keep moving everything around so it evenly browns and won't burn. You could lower the heat I guess but it'd take a while for the pan to cool down. Just seems better to take the rice out of the pan and put it into a bowl if it's finished and you have to cook something else.

[Anonymous No.14782903]

>>14782383
What happens if you don't try to traditionally scramble it, and just mix the raw egg into the rice and allow it to cook throughout? Would the egg bits end up too small?

[Anonymous No.14782904]

>>14782899
>Just push all the rice to the side so you have half the pan to scramble your egg.
That doesn't fix the issue of the rice possibly burning and overcooking. If your rice doesn't start to burn in the time it takes to make the eggs you probably aren't using high enough heat and getting as much flavor out of everything as you could be.

[Anonymous No.14782913]

>>14782383
i do this and never have i burnt the rice, and if i scrambled the eggs first they would be over cooked as fuck

[Anonymous No.14782959]

>>14782773
It's fine. The starch just thickens the gravy. Most pasta al forno recipies are already somewhat like this, in that you undercook the pasta before adding it to the sauce.

[Anonymous No.14782976]

>>14782913
What if you scrambled the eggs first and then removed them from the pan so that they did not cook any further?

[Anonymous No.14782986]

You are all fucking smooth brains.
>Oil in wok, super hot
>add whisked egg mixture straight to wok
>dump cooked rice onto egg when bottom is solid and top is still runny
>flip toss flip toss
> 1 1/2 teaspoon light soy, dash of dark soy, pinch of chicken powder, tiny sprinkle of salt
>toss flip toss
>done

t. regional chef for thai food restaurants

[Anonymous No.14783069]

Anyone who is mentally challenged or physically disabled touching/ handling my food. Even if its just one of those down syndrome's putting my plate of food in front of me. I don't know where these SICK freaks have been, all the mental ones cant even control their mouth enough to stop themselves from drooling. and those with physical deformities.. well lets be honest with each other here, do you really want someone with a bung arm using his weirdly deformed fingers and hand to be touching your food? yea didnt think so. If I go out for a meal I don't expect to see these filth. Many times I've complained to the manager about some crosseyed, limp armed gimp being near my food. the managers always insist that those ''people'' are well trained and have high grooming standards despite me pointing out clear breech's of these standards. Im always informed that a mentally challenged person can not put ''ingredient D'' in my meal and make me retarded, im still yet to know if my theory is true as I refuse to eat anything handled by the conveniently parked. There have been multiple occasions where I have physically fought and bested god's little accidents in the middle of the restaurant. The most memorable event involved my meal being brought to me by an unnerving, I refused to acknowledge his existence and when the plate was put in front of me I demanded he return it and told him I was leaving. He managed to ask me why in between him blowing bubbles with his own saliva, I stood up and pointed my finger in the middle of his chest and said ''because an undesirable like you has handled my food''. well this sparked the little guy into a fit of rage, he began screaming and getting angry as if he were the hulk, eventually he tard charged me to which I threw my bowl of hot (tainted) soup in his squashed little face. His cries of agony as he crawled across the floor were incredibly satisfying, hopefully that restaurant learnt not to employ certain ''people'' after that.

[Anonymous No.14783131]

>>14782986
No veggies?

Never ate Thai

[Anonymous No.14783137]

>>14782383
if you can't control your heat, get out of the kitchen
or get a portable butane range

[Anonymous No.14783139]

>>14782904
99% of western home kitchens don't have a jet turbine-tier burner like you describe, I can max out my biggest burner and the rice will not become charcoal in the 30 seconds I need to scramble those eggs

[Anonymous No.14783143]

>>14782986
>dump cooked rice onto egg
do you mean rice that has already been cooked in the wok or just steamed rice? i like the texture of rice that gets cooked directly in the wok first for a different flavor and texture, i don't think it would work as well if you cooked it at the same time as the egg.

[Anonymous No.14783161]

>>14782773
>making pasta like this is incredibly rude
retarded wops and greaseballs getting huffy about pasta lol

[Anonymous No.14783175]

>>14783069
based

[Anonymous No.14783193]

>>14782773
>rude

You fucking Mussolini's are taking this meme too far.

[Anonymous No.14783287]

>>14783131
never worked in a kitchen

>>14783143
just steamed rice. the wok burners are hot enough to refry the rice at the same time giving you that wok first texture.

[Anonymous No.14783474]

>>14782361
>>14782383
Why are you allowed to cook?
Do you know how a wok works?
Temperature control?
FYI that's the proper way to make fried rice

[Anonymous No.14783626]

>>14782361
>cook rice
>when rice is about to be done dig a hole in the middle and crack an egg inside, but don't mix it or scramble it, just cover it with rice
>let it be cooked by the steam and heat of the rice,
>most delicious egg you have ever tasted.

[Anonymous No.14783717]

>>14782903
>Would the egg bits end up too small?
Yes, basically. You want to have fluffy bits of egg, not tiny, dry granules.

[AAAAAAAAAAAAA No.14783764]

>>14782361
my chef moves the rice to one side of Wok, then puts other side directly on burner
then kinda splashes the eggs across the wok so they are distributed like thin layer of paper

then he scrapes up the Egg into these little tastly rolled up strings of egg then mixes with the rice

[Anonymous No.14783814]

>>14782383
i do this with roast beef flavored ramen noodles. i will boil the noodles, dump all the liquid out, then crack an egg in the hot pot and add the seasoning and stir it around. it's good as fuck.

[Anonymous No.14783880]

>>14783814
I do basically the same thing but I sauté some onions and celery and throw that in too. Sometimes I add some sesame oil or oyster sauce at the end too along with some green onions. Simple but real tasty

[Anonymous No.14783887]

>>14782361
>>14782383
Scrambling the egg first separately works better, but this can still work. I don't understand how you're burning the rice. Just lower your heat.

[Anonymous No.14783900]

steamed vegetables that all have the same consistency and flavor, regardless of the fact that they were once different vegetables

[Anonymous No.14784219]

>>14782773
Even actual italians have recipes that call for the pasta to be fully cooked in the sauce you retard.
Just because it doesn't fit all recipes doesn't mean it's stupid

[Anonymous No.14784289]

>>14782903
That's golden fried rice, it's pretty good. No actual pieces of egg but it has a nice, more pronounced eggy flavor throughout

[Anonymous No.14784596]

>>14782361
Tossing pizza dough in the air. Like why? It doesn't even make that good of a circle and the crust gets fucked. And if you made your dough right it should fucking tear if you toss. Useless bullshit that fucks the pizza. Just learn to slap your pizza you fucking retarded sperg

[Anonymous No.14784608]

>>14783814
that sounds good as fuck im going to try that thanks anon

[Anonymous No.14784718]

>>14782409
Your black dad would have straightened her out if he stayed.

[Anonymous No.14784829]

>>14782361
people who post 11.7kb images shit me to tears.
>specialfriedrice.jpg

[Anonymous No.14784911]

>>14783814
I do the ramen dump style too, but I make it Panda style and add cabbage, celery, and spices. No gay egg for me.

[Anonymous No.14785077]

>>14783474
You can't use a wok effectively on a shitty apartment electric range

[Anonymous No.14785091]

>>14783887
No.

[Anonymous No.14785667]

>>14783814
Bros just buy the big packs of fried noodles instead of the individual ramens