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The other supposed thread is for Jack shitposting. This thread is for actual food webms.
Spoilers: all webm threads are for shitposting. No one here actually cooks.
>>14755972But we all eat.
>>14755960Glorious Nippon BTFO'ing the rest of the world yet again
>>14756017They do it all better.
>>14756074thats nigiri, not a roll
>>14756074That's just fucking dumb
>>14756145seared wagyu nigiri is greatim sure the egg is nice, not sure if it would b better with it though
>>14755960the wasabi at the end is genius. i forgot about it being a mustard
>>14756208>people actually like this shit
>>14757386>people actually call this art
>>14757427No, they call it satire.
>>14756074>>14756145I'm sure it's way overpriced, but that I'd hit it.
>>14757386Isn't it a bit annoying to experience your whole life through the viewfinder of your smartphone/camera? Why are people so obsessed with recording every single thing they experience?
>>14757802for normalniggers it's not about the experience, it's about telling and showing people you were there
>>14757819What a cynical view. I can enjoy something, and if I think the people in my life would enjoy it too I want to share a part of that with them.You need to grow up and have a life.
>>14757386What the fuck is this shit
>>14757819nice cope nigger
>>14758234Sorry, meant to quote >>14757842
>>14757386I like eating at fancy places and i always worry I'm going to accidentally end up at a place like this, i would not be able to keep a straight face while this shit went down in front of me.
>>14758243>>14758234>bitter alone anon can't even quote rightI just feel sorry for you.
>>14758259Have fun making videos for your friends, tard.
>>14758288Thanks, I will, and they enjoy it too :)
>>14756074meme and probably way too pricey, but looks delicious
>>14758259So that's why my pizza looks like shit?
>>14756208That would be $500 sir + tip
>>14758525this is the single most retarded thing ive ever seen
>>14758654Looks neat, I'd buy one.
>>14758654But it's a over priced toaster or can I bake bread there?
>>14758670it's just a glorified oven with bluetooth and shid
>>14758654The Lancer evo died for this.
>>14756208>>14757386this is why the world is fucked up
>>14756208>>14757386You can get a large audience together for a strip-tease act—that is, to watch a girl undress on the stage. Now suppose you came to a country where you could fill a theatre by simply bringing a covered plate on to the stage and then slowly lifting the cover so as to let every one see, just before the lights went out, that it contained a mutton chop or a bit of bacon, would you not think that in that country something had gone wrong with the appetite for food?
>>14758702I mean it's better than most other "innovations" that came out recently.Having a oven that is easily accessible by app seems like a good idea as long as it works without it as well.
>>14757427More like "fart" amirite guys?!
>>14760332women were a mistake
>>14755960I'm going to be honest. That looks terrible.They boiled the flavor out of the meat and then added a shit load of sugar.
>>14760389great that you've come out of the closet, bro.
>>14758654https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxAbz9mfaj0You can't not link the AvE vid on this.
>>14760389imagine your wife makes these for the kids. pretty cute
>>14758259>oversauced>overcheesed>overtoppedi've seen folks who can do 30 seconds, sure. But this is just cheating.
>>14757386shoutout to my angel nigga
>>14757810>tfw you crave that mineral
>>14758670DRM toaster oven? Pog
>>14758290women shouldn't be allowed on this site
>>14755978I love watching people genuinely enjoy food.
>>14758654>>14758670I'm gonna miss stupid luxury shit like this when the next Great Depression starts after the Civil War.
>>14757386Where the fuck is the SOUL
>>14755978but first we feast
>>14758654>an enclosed hot plateCool now I can make french toast in my bedroom
>>14763175Wait, you don't do this already?
>>14757783>That one dude brings his smelly-ass dog to a workplace environment.Dog owners are such humongous fucking faggots.
>no mirin>no ajinomoto>eggs aren't soft boiled>pressure cooker>Japanese cooking 101A Japanese chef would stab you for this.
>>14757842Too much sauce and Mayo does not belong on a hotdog
>>14761978bone marrow is so damn good
>>14763597It's most probably vegetable milk but I have no idea. Also, it did look too white.Can otherwise be replaced with water.
>>14763597Could be almond or oat. They can look white.
>>14761183he will never have a wife or kids
>>14759611So much fucking pepper jesus christ
>>14761175It's always nice to see him get excited.
>>14759699wtf is wrong with vegans that makes them do this? It's fried tofu. Just call it fried tofu. There's zero fucking reason to call it a "vegan fish finger". You're not fooling anyone.
This thread is both filthy gay and lacking webms. Hope it gets cooked like sidewalk fish
>>14758525>could you pass me the salt please?>nah m8, internet is down
>>14762062optimistic to think you'll survive a war.
>>14764097I'm in the South so yes I will.
>>14758525This the the Onion went too far. Right??
>>14764245>eating right out of the pan
>>14758251Why try to keep a straight face? I would laugh in their face.
>>14758259The impressive part is how he makes a round pizza dough so quickly. Takes me forever to stretch the dough, and it still ends up looking like some mishapened mess.
>>14758654This shit is basically a hotplate with a rubber gasket.I can't wait for the chinese to copy this shit and sell it for $20.
>>14764403It's not that impressive. When your job involves a constant repetitive task it becomes second nature. I worked in a call centre inputting the results of surveys and I could do that shit on complete autopilot.
>>14764421AvE did a tear-down and actually liked it. Seems to be one of the cases where you get what you pay for.>>14761175
>>14759611"we're gonna add just a little bit of salt"
>>14763963Nigga what? Is that fucking stonefish on the goddamn sidewalk?
>>14757386>Throws shit on the table>$500 please
>>14763597Looks pretty watery, so it's most likely almond.
>>14763963>your boiled rock, sir
>>14758525>smart salt shaker>you don't even shake the salt out
>>14760389I want some cute little mummy pigsprings
>>14757386"here's your desert you fucking cunts, now eat it and fuck off!"
>>14757386Second guy at least seems to know it's bullshit designed to bilk money out of asian hipsters and nothing more. No pretenses.
>>14758654can i make kimchi grilled cheeses with it?
>>14756074what the fuck about this is a deconstruction?
>>14757386I ate at Alinea. Some of the courses were truly mind blowing, texture and flavor experiences I'd really never had before. many of them were just good-okay. We had this dessert course as well as the candy balloons. This was an interesting thing as a performance because they combine it with music and a sort of light show. It's theatre. The dessert itself was just okay, nothing to shout about. On the other hand, the candy balloons were pure fun. They tasted like green apple and were really just an experience of joy inhaling helium with my family after drinking great wines all night and just having a blast. As a dessert? Kind of tasty. As an experience? Inventive, joyful, amazing. The BEST thing I had all night was a savory parmegiano-reggiano doughnut with shaved walnut. Go there if you're looking for to spend a fuckton of money on imaginative sensory theatre, not if you're hungry and want good food
>>14764482So he practiced a thing and got good and that concept is unworthy of praise? I guess all musicians, chefs, painters etc etc aren't that impressive. >it's your job and you just kept doing it til you were good, big deal
>>14768211Is that book better than semenology and natural harvest? I was so disappointed by those two.
>>14755960Holy fuck based. I'm gonna try that. Looks good af
>>14755978koreans are hideous.
>>14758259I worked at Domino's for 3 years; can confirm that this is what it typically looks like every night from 5pm to 8pm.Normally, we have three minutes max from the moment an order is placed to getting the food into the oven. We're supposed to use a scale to weigh cheese (5 oz for medium and 7 oz for large), but we usually just eyeball it once SHTF during the dinner rush.
>>14757842I recorded fireworks on my phone once, then I realized how dumb it was to do so. Unless if you make money off of being an e-celeb, you're there to experience things yourself, not show it off to people who care little about you.
>>14759699My autism got triggered by the way she cut the tofu. Either cut from point a to point b, or don't do it at all
>>14757842Literal retard fishing for social media attention. Just kill yourself you tool
>>14770173What are you talking about anon?It's just halving.
>>14756208I could cook you shit that would make your toes curl... But that's not it
>>14757386Imagine going home at night, clutching your pillow, crying...because this is the best you've achieved in life
>>14755960a southern woman may be the most naturally tutored specimen to handle difficult melons
>>14757810Everyone, embrace your inner goat.
>>14758259Faster...Serve the Master..Still get minimum wage Hmmm
>>14758832Horror. Have an "03
>>14758259I could do that in the same amount of time without throwing fucking 2lbs of cheese everywhere.The dough is also probably uneven as shit.
>>14757810GODDAMN YOU MONGORIAN GOATS, GET OFF MY CHITTY WALL
>>14758259Imagine working this hard for like 10 bucks an hourWhat the fuck is wrong with these wagies
>>14757842I hate you and everyone in your lifeShare that with them
This entire thread is pure soyweeb.How do you shitcunts live with yourselves?
>>14770986honestly on the edge of my seat watching this, pls no cut self lass
>>14766559The cheese would probably melt. Probably.
>>14771515With lots of soy and ginger
>>14758259imagine getting semolina everywhere
>>14757810That drop made my asshole clench harder than a cheerleader on prom night getting wrong holed.
>>14755960am I the only one who doesn't actually like pork belly? I find it way too fatty and in that bad way where it's hard to eat.
>>14763296>>14761978take a bit of bone marrow from a soup/stew and spread it on some toastswear to god I could live on that combo
>>14757842>>14758234Hes right in general sense of the younger generation. Sadly.
>>14764213I thought so too but...http://www.mysmalt.com/
>>14755960>all that sugarno thanks
>>14770173What the fuck are you on about ?>>14759699>vegan fish fingers without using any seaweedThat's just fried tofu there was close to no effort put into it. pic related, it's a vegan fish filet I made recently and it's pretty great. 1/2
>>147727232/2It was delicious with a bit of tartare sauce on the side.
>>14760332>Bitch has 4 arms
>>14757386>/sp/ apoplectic over chef grant achatzate at his place in chiraq, was delicious. /sp/ tacobellfags can get fucked
>>14770986Fucking A. I baked spaghetti squash for the first time a couple of weeks ago, and it was fucking murder. I'm no chef but I know how to keep a goddamn knife sharp and cared for and I only had slightly more success than she did. Seriously fuck spaghetti squash and get a goddamn culinary chainsaw.
>>14755960>Americlap recipes disguised as Japanese
>>14774778Go back to Redd/int/.
>>14756074raw beef and an undercooked egg on rice whoop de fucking do
>>14756074>wagyu>thin cut and torched
>>14773858Mmmmm, Turkish mud.
>>14758251This is why I like fancy (authentic) Japanese restaurants. No bullshit - just fresh ingredients and good flavours with nice presentation.European cuisine is supposed to be rustic.
>>14769750Man I haven't had a cream soda in a while. Sounds good.
>>14755960Maybe I'm just an idiot but if you cook an already cooked egg that long with the beacon, doesn't the yolk go terribly dry? It certainly looks dry at the end?
>>14776941What movie is it from ?
>>14771494dominos has pizza competitions once a year and gives out like $3k to the winner.
>>14758654what kind of bread is that?
>>14777049That's kind of the point, but if you don't like it dry, you can always adjust cooking time to your own liking. That's the fun part about cooking your own food, you can cook it exactly the way you want it to be.
>>14774650get a chinese cleaver. works better than the tip of a knife
>>14777212kim's convenience, a canadian sitcom
>>14763963Oh my God it's still flapping
>>14764562What, you've never been out on a walk while stumbling across a perfectly fine stonefish chilling on the sidewalk just waiting to be cooked?
>>14772725Looks really good anon. Well done.
>>14767104Im waiting for it>>14769890What's in the glass? Vodka?
>>14757783I didn't know Israel had Little Caesars
>>14755972I actually cook but in I haven't learned a single thing on /ck/. I'm only here to laugh at autistic american manchildren.
>>14760332>not rotating the sausage infuriating
Anyone got the big guy in a fast food place scarfing his giant meal down juxtaposed to the guy dabbing a napkin on his pizza and taking small nibbles?
>>14769890what a chad.
>>14774778Pork kakuni is a Japanese-Chinese dish you uneducated faggot.
>>14762052I know, right? I half expected the typical japanese meme girl response of squealing and hiding behind their hands while poking it with a chopstick.
>>14756208The ONLY way I can see this working is if the chef's made all of those components by hand out of good ingredients. It would look kind of like shit, but would taste amazing.
>>14756074>Eggs and bacon on rice>"It's deconstructed bro!"What?
>>14758259>he genuinely thinks he's impressing that girl but she couldn't give a shit
>>14774788>>14780207>boiled pork with diabetic-coma levels of sugar is a Japanese-Chinese dishAmeriblob cope
>>14780439>boiled pork with diabetic-coma levels of sugar is a Japanese-Chinese dishYes.
>>14758525is that dude cooking breakfast for his wife and her boyfriend?
>>14767601Very rare post
>>14770986and this is why we sharpen our knives
>>14759699>"vegan">uses milk, yeast, and garlic???
>>14781281Garlic isn't vegan?
>>14781317doesn't it come from whale blubber?
>>14781350that looks like shit
>>14781350>order scrambled eggs>get egg sauce
>>14781333I can't tell if this is bait or not.
>>14781350This guy has to be the most retarded pseud "chef" in existence.
>>14781419i read somewhere that it comes from whale blubber idk
>>14755972I cook something new for my family every week, but I get the sense that you're generally right.
>>14756074>making a version of sushi that you can't eat with your handsai
>>14756208Based soulless memers taking tasteless businesspeople for a ride
>>14757386>that will be $2000 >>14766347Based Pollockposter
>>14757810What's the cullinary equivalent of being a coomer who'll go to any length to get their flavour?
>>14757842You know you can capture experiences with this thing called your memory, that removes the extraneous details, and then convey your experiences to others with this technique called telling them about it, that also means that you need only include the relevant parts. Your renderings of the experience can actually get better and better as you get more practice.
>>14764562Ahhh the WVT MVRKETS of ZHVONGGUO
>>14764652I made the zucchini noodle recipe in this webm for lunch today (because it only took like 2 minutes to make and I had the stuff lying around) and I have to say that the peanut sauce smells and tastes like feet. So unless you are into that sort of thing I wouldn't recommend it
>>14771494You can take pride in doing good work.
>>14767104How does he get off the golden throne without breaking the imperium?
>>14781350I'm starting to think he can only make scotch eggs.
>>14776941All valuable advice.
>>14781350The funny thing is that this really is the best way to make eggs, a creamy soft scramble is incredible, lots of french chefs do itBut he totally fucks it up in this clip, it comes out watery and uneven
>>14781718shoo shoo retard
>>14757810dis nigga climin
>>14763201Drop the sugar filled bbq sauce and this isn't the worst thing for you. Maybe don't eat 4 of them though.
>>14779203That is the single most BASED way to cook I have ever seen
>>14781350That dumb faggot that keeps nodding his head for goodboy points
>>14778982I remember this from...?
>>14777416>a canadian sitcom>canadian
>>14777374Wow, 3 whole Ks?! And all I gotta do is work my ass off at a shithole like Domino's? Sign me the fuck up familia!
>>14757386I probably would have asked them to stop when he started putting the asbestos on the table
>>14770986Why not just use a bread knife and saw it?
>>14755960>hong shao rou with eggs but made badly
>>14762052Same here bro. Especially American food.
>>14770986Is her knife just dull or is she trying to cut into an unripe gourd?
>>14781350I don't mind runny eggs or even raw eggs, but that comes out more as egg sauce. It's like he's going for the texture of a french omelet, but just ends up with undercooked eggs.
>>14758525This has an indiegogo and a website but I'm still convinced its a joke.
>>14783781i'm convinced some of these retarded tech startups are just money laundering using nerds as useful idiots to develop and push products that were planned to fail by the investors
>>14760389If my mom made me weiner wrap mummies when I was a kid I'd have been fucking stoked. Get neck-kneeled by a based cop, retard.
>>14763175Just use a George Foreman grill, bro
>>14781807this mindset is a trick of the jews. your labor has value. if you do good work you should be rewarded for it. getting a fuzzy feeling inside is nothing more than golem cope
>>14758670wow, over 600!a typical grocery store carries over 40 THOUSAND items. this covers 1.5% of that.
>>14757810>You will never risk your life climbing a sheer cliff face just to lick rocks
>>14755960Where do I get proper pork belly? Is it all generally the same? When I get it a KBBQ and cook it, it comes out amazing. Like mega bacon. But whenever I've gotten some at the grocery and try to cook it the same way it comes off chewy and lame.
>>14769846There's zero worth in recording fireworks as a home video for yourself. There is however a lot of worth in recording yourself and your friends at a fireworks show. Get some of their expressions during the fireworks, get your own face in, maybe mention what the occasion is. That way you can look back and feel the memories rather than having a misc video of fireworks.
>>14782922yeah I don't think it's really worth it but there are other benefits to doing it. I knew a girl in high school who was the fastest in my region and they had some thing where if a certain number of crew members at the store were fast enough the whole store would get a bonus. they got to go to pizza competitions and I think they were on the clock while doing that stuff so it beats a normal day's work I guess. I'm sure they got some swag or something too. it's a fun aside to a pretty shit job
>>14763963I've eaten quite a few stonefish in the past. Tender, flaky meat, but quite bony.
>>14758259No wonder their pizza is shit, the dough is fucking play dough
>>14783203>>14770986>>14774650yea I've noticed serrated knives work best for hard items (bread/tangerines come to mind)underrated
>>14774862seconded.... my only coffee of choice when I'm visiting the middle easy
>>14756208this is a joke right?
>>14777416>racism in canadian sitcomHold on, how?
>>14785065I've been watching it since seeing that webm. it's a pretty good show. mr kim doesn't take much shit
>>14781350Looks delicious to be honest. Imagine wanting dry and lumpy scrambled eggs instead of creamy.
>>14784297Is this some kind of joke?
>>14784868what,you cut tangerines? you don't peel it with your hands?
>>14759626yes, cold canned chilly and artsy fartsy food is surely the cause of all the fucked up stuff in this world from global warming to system injustice.lmao nigga do you hear yourself. go for a walk bruh
>>14756208>>14757386>mfw people are unironically upset by thesey'all are so touchy. The first one is obviously a joke. the second one just seems like a neat experience
>>14759699>Vegan fish fingersFried tofu. It's just fried tofu.
>>14784369Asians make savoury food a bit too sweet for my tastes, but something like 1tbsp/kg and it goes great. Specially with brown sugar.
>>14755960What happened to the boiled onions?
>>14757842But I don't want to taste nigger dick.
>>14781783Nobody wants to listen to your long rambling stories old man. If you saw something interesting, just show me a picture or a video.
>>14785255It's no more disgusting than deep fried butter, though that's not saying much.
>>14755972So wrong 9 years behind the hot plate here. Doesn't mean I shit on food. I can enjoy the finest stuff then eat a can of chef boyardee the next day.
>>14756074>wagyu>doesn't even look remotely like wagyu in either marbling or meat colorYeah. Interesting concept, but you can literally pay like $12 for a 2 people's worth of rice steak & eggs. Even if you DIY it's like 15-30mins of time.
>>14781350These are supposed to be French style scrambled eggs. I've been to France paris and in the south. No one and I mean no one makes eggs like this even the fancy 65 euro breakfast place I was in. Mostly eggs are just soft boiled with pastries and espresso.
>>14781350Gordon is trash. He's cutting corners.https://youtu.be/s9r-CxnCXkgAlso American style is the best.
>>14763201what a shitty scotch egg
>>14782674God of Cooking i believe.
>>14785255yes its from bottom gear
>>14767601I've also eaten at alinea. Had to make my reservation 2 months in advance.This post is pretty spot on.The food ranged from above average to excellent.But the experience as a whole was unforgettable.
>y'all are so touchy. The first one is obviously a joke. the second one just seems like a neat experience
>>14779203>FilenameSon i am a proud
>>14785255>Is something from a comedy show a joke
>>14781317not if you're a Jain
>>14781350... why not just lower the heat, and keep stirring instead of dicking around? Why not cut the chives ahead of time instead of giving them a haircut over the plate? I need to know the exact moment Gordon disappeared up his own ass.
>>14757810I'd love to take a paintball gun and shoot at this little faggot while he's trying to lick those bricks.
>>14787552I always find it funny how vegan autists try to justify not going full Jainist, as if industrial farming doesn't end billions of lives.
>>14787694It's gotta be a hard life. I couldn't imagine doing it for any other reason than a desperate attempt to permanently flee the mortal coil. Avoiding figs because they ate a wasp once? Avoiding onions because it kills the plant? I don't have the patience for that - I'll kill food to get to other food, and then I'll use that food to kill more food if I can.
>>14785888I got my nomenclature wrong I meant citrus fruits as a whole, not tangerines. They're peelable, but grapefruits need cutting is what I meant
>>14772725Going thru all this to make tofu taste like seaweed while you can just dip the real thing in some batter and fry it
>>14788179It's called cooking anon. Look it up.
>>14761137t. retard doesn't know what braising is. jesus christ
>>14787821Looka good. Love short rib.
>>14763296also it's the only thing that keeps cartilage healthy, which is why we get so decrepit as we age.
>>14757842you don't know it yet, but you're pathetic and nobody cares about you or your garbage heap of a "life"
>>14758259speedrunners are fucking autistic retards
>>14758290enjoy getting stabbed in the back and abandoned when you accidentally say you like the brand of string cheese they've most recently suddenly decided is racist, moron
>>14758525this was designed for people like this guy: >>14757842
>>14763175this seems like sarcasm, but you're just being accurateI would love one of these fuckers
>>14758670It's depressing to admit this stupid thing would make my life a lot better
>>14785909this silly bitch seriously brought up global warming and expects people to listen to her
>>14758670Data mining your taste buds
>>14760389best namefagging of all time and /ck/ bitches are too stupid to notice
>>14764097if you're not one of the 35 stupid antifa trannies out there you'll be fineit's less of a war, more of a pest removal
>>14763281>Mayo does not belong on a hotdoglaugh at this little fish brain
>>14763946they're living a lie and they want everyone else to believe it toobasically the trannies of the food world
>>14767601aka food version of Cirque du Soleil that you can still feel like an elitist about since they don't have it in malls yet
>>14770986>a southern woman may be the most naturally tutored specimen to handle difficult melonswhy is this sentence so sexy
>>14784314Ted Kaczynski would like a word with you because you're a dumb bitch
>>14776941women think they're smart BECAUSE they're stupid
>>14779076>I haven't learned a single thingwe can tell
>>14787703the only thing you can eat that wasn't alive at some point is salteating is murder, and that should be embraced
>>14757842Little do you know these "friends" and people who "follow" you couldn't give less of a shit and none of them will remember you anyway
>>14764245bitch is thick
>>14786898I'll know if I'll be saved after the judgement.
>>14787821>20 cloves of garlicBros..
>>14780439yes, the chinese love sugary pork
>>14781350if he cooked for 1 minute more they would be perfect
>>14755960ok guys about a year ago i found a youtube channel from a /ck/ post. It was an asian guy (Korean or Chinese or something) who would cook with weird live animals. I think the first video I saw was him cooking a giant rabbit. He was in a commercial kitchen, put this huge live rabbit on the cutting board, cut forward to it dead, then he butchered and cooked it. He had other videos where he did the same with like giant lizards and shit. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? I'd love to find that channel again.
>>14791973https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUwCSmBlJRg is this what you are looking for?
>>14792015absolute legend, thank you mate.
>>14781831yep, printed in my mind now
>>14763963if only you knew how bad things really are