Deep Dark Food & Cooking Secrets

[Anonymous No.14694950]

I don't have a hammer so I've been using the side of a desktop power supply to flatten my chicken breast.

[Anonymous No.14694982]

>>14694950
I litterally beat my meat with my fists kek

[Anonymous No.14694990]

i dip pork dumplings into a cup of balsamic vinegar mixed with a little bit of soy sauce. probably 80/20 ratio. pic unrelated.

[Anonymous No.14694995]

>>14694950
so, in old cook books they recommend using the side of a saucer to flatten or tenderize a chop or cutlet. It's worth a shot.

[Anonymous No.14695003]

>>14694950
i don't use cutting boards for vegetables i just cut it on the plate i'm going to eat off of because i'm lazy.

[Anonymous No.14695009]

>>14694950
i will make canned beans with cheese and stand over the stove and eat them with cold tortilla pieces so i don't have to actually cook or really clean stuff

[Anonymous No.14695034]

I anally insert root vegetables for masturbatory purposes and occasionally skin and cook the same ones to serve at church potlucks. obviously this is not something I could share with the priest so hopefully this counts as confession.

[Anonymous No.14695062]

Most of these are going to boil down to "I am lazy" aren't they?

[Anonymous No.14695087]

>>14694950
If you are not interested in cooking your own food, you can purchase pre-made food and have it sent straight to your house!

[Anonymous No.14695112]

>>14694950
I spit in the pan to test heat temp instead of using water, even when cooking for strangers

[Anonymous No.14695150]

the walmart store brand potato salad is really fucking good

[Anonymous No.14695162]

>>14694950
I love to bake cakes and desserts for office potluck and I have added my "own personal touch" several times

[Anonymous No.14695217]

>>14695150
Ok, tastelet

[Anonymous No.14695229]

>>14695162
What would that be, anon

[Anonymous No.14695230]

>>14695217
grab a container of the deviled egg potato salad next time you're there for like $2, sprinkle with paprika, take the walmartpotatosalad pill

[Anonymous No.14695242]

>>14695230
Kroger has something called 'Loaded baked potato salad'
bretty good

[Anonymous No.14695269]

>>14695229
baby batter, splooge, spouge, preg nog, baby gravy, cream of meat, spunk, love mayonnaise, mancream

i get satisfaction when they eat it and tell me how delicious my brownies are.

[Anonymous No.14695280]

>>14694950
When I make bread I just shape it and let it rise once then bake. Not sure if it really makes a difference but I don't do the two rises a lot of recipes call for and the bread still seems to come out pretty good.

[Anonymous No.14695293]

>>14695062
Poached at the very least

[Anonymous No.14695297]

>>14695087
big if true

[Anonymous No.14695336]

>>14695269
Nothin wrong with a lil extra protein, bro

[: Replying to dubs thread. (ht(...) No.14695350]

>>14695269
>my brownies are

[Anonymous No.14695359]

>>14695269
Do a side by side comparison and see if they can taste a difference.

[Anonymous No.14695470]

I cook breakfast in the grease of whatever I had for dinner. Probably will cause pic related eventually, since I think things like chicken grease are horrible for you.

[i8c/Sw4f94s No.14695489]

>my wifes boyfriend cooks and I post pictures claiming to cook. But I am not allowed to cook, one time I picked up one of those white thingies that glow red and my wife yelled at me and told tyrone I can't get near the food or kitchen when cooking

[Anonymous No.14695784]

Not a joke I have coomed on eggs and ate them not as a fetish thing just one those brain telling me to do dumb shit

[Anonymous No.14695832]

>Randomly add weed to soups and stews
>Cut both veggies and meat on the kitchen table because marble is based
>''I'm so retarded I take 20 mins to jack off in the bathroom while the stew is burning the deep end of the pot''
>''burnt fond is good''
>cook ramen for 15 mins
>Curry powder is good for soup

[Anonymous No.14695833]

>>14695784
Anon are you aware that you're retarded?

[Anonymous No.14695874]

>>14695269
That's honestly kind of hot

[Anonymous No.14695896]

>>14694950
Guacamole is made with clean, bare handz.

[Anonymous No.14695946]

>>14694950
I eat everything with mayo

[Anonymous No.14695977]

>>14695946

[Anonymous No.14695986]

>>14695977
literally me

[Anonymous No.14696131]

>>14695986
>>14695946
Jerma is that you?

[Anonymous No.14696138]

i use two desktop power supplies to hold the corner of my bed up

[Anonymous No.14696158]

>>14695009
You know that tortilla isnt fully cooked right?

[Anonymous No.14696207]

>>14695833
You use wojaks unironically you are in no position to talk

[Anonymous No.14696234]

>>14696158
So what?

[Anonymous No.14696253]

>>14694950
I make a mixture of buffalo sauce, ranch, blue cheese and cream cheese and just eat it with a spoon as a meal almost every other week

[Anonymous No.14696693]

>>14694950
I lost 40lbs while lifting weights eating exclusively mcdonalds double qp meals and the salads

Was pretty based desu

[Anonymous No.14696729]

>>14695034
What the fuck is wrong with you? A cucumber cost what like €99? why Wouldn’t you just throw them out after!

[Anonymous No.14696771]

>>14694950
i would buy you a kitchen hammer if you weren't a frogposter

[Anonymous No.14697291]

>>14695009
this is truly pathetic

[Anonymous No.14697591]

>>14696207
ok splooge boi

[Anonymous No.14697653]

I used my old computer with pillows on it as a chair for a year.
With food I don't time or measure anything so things are rarely ever the same.

[Anonymous No.14697660]

>>14696729
>>14696729
Faggots do things like that simply because they delight in the grotesque. Asking what's wrong with him is redundant; he already told you. He's a faggot.

[Anonymous No.14697680]

I eat one of these bad boys every 2 or 3 weeks with beer and honestly it's pretty fucking good.