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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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14553234 No.14553234 [Reply] [Original]

Having a girl coming over for dinner later this week and i haven't had sex since quarantine started.
What are some recipes that have a 100% chance of the night ending with a blowjob?

>> No.14553238

taco bell

>> No.14553247
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14553247

>>14553234
>tfw this thing has hair and I'm bald.

>> No.14553248

>>14553238
yeah not trying to fart all night. and i told her i'd cook.

>> No.14553250

>>14553234
If she's coming over, you have to make a special effort to fuck it up in order to not get laid
Nothing too heavy, no pasta, and set your sights higher than a blowjob. I bet you can get it in for real if you give it your all, champ. Go get her.

>> No.14553256

>>14553238
/thread

>> No.14553258

>>14553247
he puts mayo in it.

>> No.14553269

>>14553234
Grilled chicken seasoned with Cavenders, some roasted potatoes seasoned with Cavenders, and steamed broccoli with sea salt. A good pinot to go with it.

>> No.14553270

chocolate truffles
for main course, something that doesn't stink up your house and isn't too oily and ideally you can cook in advance so you don't stink up your clothes, like say gratin

>> No.14553276

>>14553234
dip your penis in marinara sauce and say "Eat".

>> No.14553280 [DELETED] 

>>14553234
sloppa

>> No.14553282

Fish w/ lemon, whatever vegetarian you want to steam with it. Easy as fuck, delicious, won't fuck up the rest of your night.

>> No.14553285

>>14553247
should've mayoed it

>> No.14553290

>>14553234
So is this walking torso still with the Thai girl or whatever?

>> No.14553294

>>14553234
Whatever it is, flambé it. Bitches love mild expressions of danger.

>> No.14553337

>>14553290
idk but i have a serious case of yellow fever and it's only increasing in severity. at first i only liked japs. then japs and koreans. then chinese too, and recently i've started finding jungle asians attractive too. the other day i talked to an asian girl with glasses, braces and full on cheese grater face acne and i still thought she was so cute my heart melted. i think i need help but i don't want it.

>> No.14553528

>>14553234
if she like fish;
tin foil sheet -> mustard -> fresh lemon juice -> salmon filet -> more lemon juice -> slices of camembert/brie cheese, top with dill.
close the tinfoil sheet on itself to my a bag like thing, put it a pre-heated oven for some time and you'll get enough time to cook rice and steam some greens. super easy and really effective

>> No.14553529

>>14553282
im thinking fish too. i can get good quality stuff and do something really light maybe with a salad on the side. a bottle of white and some desert cheese too

>> No.14553533

>>14553528
ty. i think baking fish in an oven will be the way to go.

>> No.14553556

you got some solid advice on the fish. guess im just here to wish ya luck.

>> No.14553580
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14553580

>>14553556
thanks. she looks like the love child of young uma thurman and anna faris.

>> No.14553679

>>14553234
Lobster. Bitches love lobster.

>> No.14553695
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14553695

>>14553234
Just get a couple decent steaks and a veggie you can roast like brussels sprouts or something. Take the steaks out of the package and liberally salt both sides, remove the meat tampon from the styrofoam and put them back in the fridge uncovered for at least an hour (up to the night before) before cooking. Reverse sear the steaks and put the veg in the oven right when you take the steak out and they should finish around the time of the steak being seared and rested. For the veg, toss with oil and salt and pepper at a minimum. You can look into pan sauce and, butter basting with garlic and herbs as well, but if you aren't already decent at the rest of this, just skip it so it doesn't complicate things. Reverse sear makes a pretty good steak and most of the cooking is hands off so you aren't wasting all that courtship time in the kitchen. And bitches love a fancy steak dinner.

>> No.14553699

eggs

>> No.14553735

>>14553234
Carbonara or Salmon with veg are my go to date recipes, good luck anon

>> No.14554970

>>14553234
rose duck breasts with nice sauce
drugs
good lasagna

>> No.14554974

>>14553234
Greens will get you laid. If it got pictures of Washington on it.

>> No.14554991

>>14553337
I was the same. Just find one that thinks she’s ugly and pursue her, not too doggedly, but with some persistence. Married to her now and she cooks like a maniac and mostly reads books/watches cat videos and korean dramas. Life is good but be prepared that integration into the family is not without its bumps and bruises.

>> No.14554995

>>14553234
exotic fruit.
fruit salads
stuff like that.

>> No.14554996

What people do to get a sorry laid twice a week. Learn to cook. Pay some classy whore once a week and be FREE.

>> No.14554998

>>14553234
If you’ve already been having sex with her and she’s coming over, then she’s coming over to hook up, dumbass. It doesn’t matter what you make.

>> No.14555122

>>14553234
Honestly, it doesn't even have to be good food. Just make it look pretty and make sure it has a fancy sounding name. Women are retarded rhetorical thinkers, and are incredibly easy to manipulate. As long as she can instagram it, you will get laid.

>> No.14555146

Order a sushi platter and make crepes with nutella for desert.

>> No.14555166
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14555166

>this virgin thinks food is gonna do the work for him

>> No.14555267

Asparagus, beets, cabbage and beans, all with black food coloring

>> No.14555273

>>14553234
how does this guy change his pillowcases wtf?

>> No.14555650

>>14553234
>What are some recipes that have a 100% chance of the night ending with a blowjob?
Qaaludes.

>> No.14555657

>>14553234
just make fettuccine with the storebought sauce and grilled chicken, you literally can't fuck it up.

>> No.14555668

Maple glazed salmon with grilled asparagus. Bitches love the fishy smelly pee.

>> No.14556101

>>14553234
Roasted duck breasts with potatoes and tomatoes, glazed in a port wine reduction, sprinkled liberally with rohypnol

>> No.14556140

>>14553735
i think i'm gonna do a redfish with veg today
>>14554996
whores arent good for cuddling
>>14554998
i havent, dumbass.
>>14555657
>>14555146
i'm competent enough to do something but alright. might do the crepe thing.
>>14555668
i ran out of my quebecois maple syrup :(

>> No.14556420
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14556420

>>14553234
Don’t forget extra butter on the popcorn yah pervert.

>> No.14556432
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14556432

>>14556420
>mfw i put red pepper and paprika, cayenne on my popcorn

>> No.14556517

>>14556432
I like a lil cayenne on the tip or I can’t climax.

>> No.14557018
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14557018

>>14553234
This is the ONLY thing that will ever get you "laid"

>> No.14557031

if she doesnt like you enough to give you a blowjob anyways, dont bother. Cook good food to show off your talents, not to get sex you john. Thats on the same level of hiring a prostitute.

>> No.14557047

>>14553234
>blowjob
Unless you face fuck her, why would you want that? I'd rather jerk off.

>> No.14557074

A white chocolate ganache with something along the lines of passionfruit and maybe some nuts.

>> No.14557075

Worked in places were all sort ftom all over. Did a good dessert, got laid.
Doing a good job. pussy gaurantied!