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I'm too far down the Jack rabbit hole, his recipes are starting to look somewhat appetizing when I'm tired and I feel defensive when I hear people mocking him. That being said time for a Ja/ck/ thread
Jack has skimmed like 98% of the recipes off mommy blogs online and the other 2% from his morbidly obese friends. It's not really that crazy some of the stuff will look alright.
>>14535758RIP Jack, you tried.
>>14535758>jack's cooking >appetizing
>>14535777I don't know what it is, I think I've watched so much I'm getting brainwashed.
>>14535785Watch his lazy man's omelette video
>>14535771>when the gravy is every bit as gelatinous as tammy's forearmsI need some of Tam's nudes, bros.
>>14535802I've seen that one, wouldn't the boiling water make the plastic release toxic shit into the eggs?
>>14535758Jack will forever be the kind of /ck/
>>14535834Probably. But what do you expect from ja/ck/
>>14535825>tfw you finally get a peek of tam's juice spilling goozer
>>14535758I wonder if Aunt Myrna is proud of her nephew
>he's in a wheelchair now? alright what did he do this time
jack's cooking disrupts the simulation we are in and the strokes were warnings by the admins to delete his channel and to cease redpilling us. thats why sheeps will deny the movement and call his cooking shit.based jack.
>>14535889more like what he didnt do, he literally just sits on the couch watching TV all day stealing recipe ideas from soup commercials since the second stroke, didnt even try physical therapy, forces his wife and son to do everything
Are there any documentaries about Jack?
>>14536047there was a smaller youtube drama guy a few years ago that dedicated like half a video to him, i might DM the right opinion or someone else about jack now that you mention it, it would be a comfy watch
>>14535850I remember the first time I saw this clip I thought he was using broken hair clips.
>>14536047Jack on the Go
>>14535889He fucked up both his achilles tendons by walking half of a 5k
>>14535758He's not strong enough
jacks sons gf in the butterbeer episode was cute
>>14536110His body is literally declaring mutiny on him. It's only a matter of time at this point.
>>14536115For fuck's sake JackDo you really not understand what a bottle opener is for?
>>14535758I think the greatest irony is that his "garbage stew" is probably one of his more palatable recipes. I say "palatable" very generously.
What's his hot sauce taste like
>>14535850WHY does he love raw meat so much??
>>14536155looks like the type of sloppa you take a bite of and compliment it, claim you werent hungry, and when they give it to you to take home to take it to the BIN BITCH
>channel dying>selling business>lifeless armlmao couldn't happen to a less talented piece of shit
>>14536162Because he heard a big hairy man say that he eats his steaks rare when he was little and due to his lack of a father figures he equated that to strength and manhood, so he now eats meat disgustingly undercooked in the hope it means he has an ounce of masculinity.
>>14536178Jesus m8 you went all in. I wouldn't doubt that he didn't have a good dad, or even a dad at all. He acts so effeminate sometimes, especially in those shitty old intros he cobbled together.
>>14535758kek what video is this pic from
>>14535785You might have parasites, mate
>>14535870This is literally those 50s recipes that put anything on jello because it looked cool and modern
>>14536127Is this pre or post proposal? Because she gained like 30 lbs
>>14536325It was from yesterday. She's living with them now too
>>14536127They'll be divorced in a year
>>14536336>>14536390If she is living with them she's going to start gaining a lot of weight. The only reason Jr isn't a lardass is that he works out for football
>>14535870Should I recreate this and post results?
>>14536429You should make a video and put it on youtube
>>14536435what the fuck
>>14536390based on what?
does anyone feel sad when jack brings his son in? its clear he doesnt give a fuck anymore, in fact he seems a little embarrassed for his dad. the older vids he played along, even cooked his own recipe, but now he seems like he thinks his dad is a fucking loser. its sad.
>>14536441Based on how they only got married so they could have sex
>>14536451How long until the son chokes out the father?
>>14536456ahh they'll stop wanting to fuck, that makes sense
>>14536433already been done by Should I series
>>14536468Yeah but his video was shit it was his first one
>>14536429You should recreate Jack taking his son down to the ground and choking him out until his nose bleeds. I bet the should I guy hasn't done that one yet
>>14536457Until he gets high and gently touches his wife to get her to move away from him.
>>14536513Does anyone have a TLoU2 choke edit of Jack and his son?
>>14536309Pretty sure it's his second cutting onions without crying video, which he took down. Not 100% sure though. With Jack you can never know because the guy has such an insane amount of videos
>>14536527He took it down? What a precious little bitch
watching jack videos gives me a weird sense of nostalgia like im back home.
whats wrong with jack in his newest videos? why isnt he walking anymore?
>>14536558Busted his feet trying to walk a 5k as a deathfat and had to get surgery. Currently using a scooter and still one arm and leg partially paralyzed
Jack enabled comments on his latest video talking about how he needs to get surgery but he doesn't have insurance now that his wife was fired.
I saw a webm that shows him with the limp hand, anyone have it?
>>14536566He forgets to disable them on his live chats sometimes
>>14536526It's shitty but it's the best I could do.
>>14536650If I may make a request, could you add some of Garrett's shitty arm tattoos?https://www.instagram.com/p/CDRQvnwnqT3/?hl=en
>>14536553I get the same feeling. Seeing older vids of him using both of his arms almost makes me sad.
Sucks that Tammy lost her job a few months after he posted this.
>>14536672Jesus so that's what he looks like. I'll make a more accurate version of Garrett in a sec.
Everything that can go wrong in jacks life has and will go wrong.
>>14536700He hasn't gotten the covid yet, let's see if he ends up on a ventilator at some point still claiming its just a flu
>>14536678What's the joke?
>>14535850Good god.And this was BEFORE the stroke(s).
tick tock garrett
>>14536676Quit ja/ck/ing it then you Stockholm Syndrome bitch.
>>14536704they get their money, then instead of getting a job they sit around waiting to get their money.you must understand that he's industrial and doesn't abide shirkers
>>14536708Isn't he making mid six figures in the medical marijuana business?
>>14536708A masterwork courtesy of the Scalfani family's genes
>>14536650This is great, can you add Jack's giant vulgar ring to his left hand?
Jack is a living, breathing Job. It's quite biblical really.
>>14536715yeah you can tell by how nice his house is in that pic
>>14536714>>14536704>>14536678It's so strange. It's like in order to understand Jack's sense of humor, you have to remove any sense of logic or empathy while simultaneously adding a chromosome to your .
>>14536746>brings up empathy whilst making fun of a diabetic wheelchair bound stroke victimokay
>>14536750>diabetic wheelchair bound stroke victimThis is entirely of his own doing, why should I empathize with a self-made meatball man?
>>14536708>>14536715>>14536719seems like choking him out turned him into a genius
>>14536760that's precisely why you shouldhe's an Icarus figure
did jack really choke out his son?
Can someone please post the pinkeye Scalfani cayenne to the eye clip?
>>14536526>>14536650>>14536672>>14536730Alright here you go, hope it's better now
>>14536760>"why should I have empathy?" Says sociopath
>>14536785i always wondered where the tension in the newer videos came from
>>14536788>you should empathize with a family-abusing racist who's eaten himself into a string of health issuesfuck that, this guy dug his own grave and now he gets to lie down in it.
>>14536767While the idea of hubris might be comparable on the surface, Jack lacks the emotional capacity for feelings extending beyond hunger, anger, happiness, and fear.
>>14536786It was incredible on the first draft. You've turned it into the Sistine Chapel here.
>>14536703Its funny that he's an anti mask guy because covid would 100% kill him
>>14536703>>14536849God protects the fat and stupid like Jack, he's going to live a long long time and not care that his wife is pregnant with another man's child.
>>14536786lmao this is fantastic, lad
It's actually stunning how much Jack's life is, quite literally, a modern day retelling of the Book of Job. He is a devout Christian who>Had a stroke>Cant cook>His entire career is based off people making fun of him>Had to deactivate likes and comments because he was getting berated constantly>His marriage is miserable>Had to choke out his son>His son actively dislikes him, only comes onto videos out of pity>Wife gets laid off when he needs surgery >Cant even walkin quite literally every facet of Jacks life, he is punished by God, and yet, he prays for his subscribers on a weekly basis, even keeping open a prayer line for people to personally reach out with prayer requests. he continuously makes these garbage recipes for no ostensible reason. he is being raped by the will of god, and all he can do is soldier on. it's fucking biblical.
>You gonna eat that?
>>14536880He also went on a nationally broadcast TV show where he was humiliated and cried like an idiot after losing a BBQ contest where he couldn't even cook the meat himself
>>14536889is there a link for this
>>14536914Don't know of a free one anymore, most of them were taken down but you can buy it on amazon: https://www.amazon.com/West-Texas-Investors-Club-Season/dp/B013G1CBZ6Season 1 episode 2
>>14536708The funny thing is he's making far more money because of weed while Jack isn't making shit off YouTube
So he can't walk anymore, and he's back to only having 1 functional arm?
How does Jack have half a million subscribers and cant even pull in 10k views on a video?
>>14536965Because he started his channel when YouTube was barely starting
>>14536965>>14536975This, and because people just lose interest. Wrecklesseating is another example of a dead channel with lots of subs
>>14536880>>Had to deactivate likes and comments because he was getting berated constantlywoah... exactly like Job
>>14536999it's a metaphor you fucking faggot
>>14536978Jack really comes off as a transman here
Jack is so comforting to me. Whenever Im feeling down I watch a few Jack videos. He radiates a very calming aura
>>14537014I get that feeling with Cooking with Jack, but his Jack on the Go videos make me feel entirely different.
I prefer Kay
>>14537023Kay's cooking makes me feel physically ill most of the time
>>14537023this reminds me of MasaoHF videos
>>14537021Jack on the go provides great insight into how much of a fucking asshole he is irl
>>14537037Yeah he is a male Karen
>>14536880Over half of these problems are entirely self-inflicted. Job was not responsible for his misery.
>>14537052hes trying his best
Someone draw jack with his dead arm
>>14535866this webm is prototypical soi and about 5000x funnier than the soiface meme.
>>14535866What video is the from
>>14537083He took it down but it was about cutting onions without crying using onion goggles
I love him being too retarded to understand a steering wheel tray in this one.https://youtu.be/XEdnjRscpG4Post-stroke Jack is absolute quality of the highest order.Arby's Shortrib Sandwichhttps://youtu.be/ivevmZg5uE8Bonfire Grillhttps://youtu.be/TeVR6cLjuPs>I find it very interesting that the vegetarian people... they went straight for the vegetables... Of course! They just skipped the protein... They went straight for the vegetables.
>>14536990>mentions he gets a million to two million views a month on his channel>doesn't mention the fact that people watch his videos because they want to laugh at him and not buy his shit
>>14537088>>I find it very interesting that the vegetarian people... they went straight for the vegetables... Of course! They just skipped the protein... They went straight for the vegetables.
>>14537060Whatever you say, Jack.
>>14537088Holy shit. Its like something out of a dark comedy
>>14537100Well, it *is* a business model.
how many son's does he have?
>>14537088Seems like "protein" turned up in his word of the day calendar that morning.
>>14537023What is she making?
>>145371503? I think?
>>14537088>I have to say, the first thing is it has an Asian feel. It's weird, it's a Mongolian grill restaurant, great place. It is WAY BETTER than Genghis Grill!! >:( If you're trying to save money... come to Bonfire. Don't go to Genghis >:(
>>14537163now i need to find the ghengis grill review
That fucking monologue during that shark tank shit. Good fucking lord Jack, shut up.
>>14537004>that's nothing like job thoughdude it was literally a metaphor, you shitlord
>>14537180Is there such a thing as a metaphorical metaphor?
>>14537182I believe that's known as a parable.
Watch his KFC Georgia gold vs Nashville hot chicken video for a good laugh
>>14536990Did Jack honestly think he could bring his sauce to Texas?
>>14537223>but I brought it to walmart!!!
>>14537164Link to the video? This is upsetting my stomach and I don't know if it is a calzone or a cookie or what
>>14537231He literally walked away to let the show hosts cook his ribs while he talked about himself to the crowd. holy shit
>>14537267Its probably the only reason the guests weren't eating raw pork considering he couldn't even light the fucking thing himself.
>>14536880>had to choke out his son>had to
>>14537282He was smoking the devil's weed, anon
>>14536960Lazy man's stroke
if you ever catch yourself feeling an ounce of pity for this walking wounded dog of a chef, just remember that he choked out his 16 year old son and kicked him out for smoking weed and never looked back
>>14536880don't forget>sauce company has failed and has to be sold
>>14537363*assaulting his step motherit's still child abuse and abandonment but you might as well be correct if you're going to care
>>14536162Smoke tints meat with a pinkish hue you retard. It's not raw.
>>14537370iirc all he did was walk passed her and bump into her.
>>14537379>>14537386actually you know what, I haven't watched it since it's been purged for so long... I might be wrong here too, maybe he kicked his ass for hitting tammy and did actually kick him out because of weed.
>>14537367How is he such a failure at literally everything he does?
>>14537413Unfortunately he has succeeded at reproducing twice
>>14537409If tomorrow all the things were goneI worked for all my lifeAnd I had to start againWith just my children and my wifeI thank my lucky starsTo be living here today'Cause the flag still stands for freedomAnd they can't take that awayAnd I'm proud to be an AmericanWhere at least I know I'm freeAnd I won't forget the men who diedWho gave that right to meAnd I'd gladly stand up next to youAnd defend Her still today'Cause there ain't no doubtI love this landGod Bless the U.S.A.From the lakes of MinnesotaTo the hills of TennesseeAcross the plains of TexasFrom sea to shining seaFrom Detroit down to HoustonAnd New York to L.A.Where's pride in every American heartAnd it's time we stand and sayThat I'm proud to be an AmericanWhere at least I know I'm freeAnd I won't forget the men who diedWho gave that right to meAnd I'd gladly stand up next to youAnd defend Her still today'Cause there ain't no doubtI love this landGod Bless the U.S.A.And I'm proud to be an AmericanWhere at least I know I'm freeAnd I won't forget the men who diedWho gave that right to meAnd I'd gladly stand up next to youAnd defend Her still today'Cause there ain't no doubtI love this landGod Bless the U.S.A.
>>14537036BasedHe has a website where you can do ad libs and there’s also stories that he wrote. They’re absolutely insane, talking about how he wants to fuck the girl from Wendy’s and his sister as well.
>>14537363Pretty based. Druggie got what he deserved.
Nothing beats a comfy jack thread
>>14536990He did better than I was expecting. I guess the sauce isn't as awful as everything else he makes.
>>14537510It is pretty bad according to a few anons that have tried it but the recipe was given to him (or taken, can't remember) by a chef he knew.
>>14537545He got like 40% of the vote on the show against one of the best barbecuers in Texas.
>>14536880God is the one thing keeping him alive. I admire his faith but I think a lot of it is low iq and sheepish devotion.
>>14537551the first ingredients in his sauce are ketchup and hfcs. of course a couple retards liked it
>>14537545Should i series tried it and started gagging. And he's made other Jack recipes and said they were good, so I don't think he was just acting
>>14537561Like I said, he did better than I expected.
>>14537551Because he was signing autographs and kissing ass for hours beforehand while the judges did the barbecuing for him.
>>14537573If a texas pit master can lose 40% to handshakes then the competition was pointless to begin with
>>14537587It's a reality television show, anon. Of course it is. The shit is entertainment. They had to actually barbecue for Jack because he was quite literally incapable of doing it for the sake of the show.
>>14537376by all means, try jack's finely smoked (totally not under cooked) meat.
>>14537571oh you actually think reality tv is real lmao
Have any anons meet Jack irl?
>>14537623No but he blocked me on Instagram
>>14537623Nope but I did add him on PSN and he added me back lmao
>>14537630I wonder if Jack knows about these threads?
>>14537642He def knows about kiwifarms
>>14537642Yeah I've told him about them while trying to get info about whether Tammy would be interested in face sitting pro bono or for cash
>>14537652Glad to know I'm not the only one that would let Tammy sit on my face
It really boggles my mind that jack looks almost exactly like Al from toy story
>>14537668How do I reverse learn things
>>14537642jack jr does. he used to livestream and we talked to him because we were his only viewers
>>14537669you're not strong enough to handle all of her abundance. there's no shame in that
Literally nothing better on this board than a good Ja/ck/ thread
>>14537630What’s his username?
I know you faggots are just jealous that Jack and Tammy are two god fearing christians who love each other dearly.
>>14537676I wonder if he told his dad about them, though? He looked really annoyed in the last video like he didn't want to do it so maybe he told him just to spite him. His wife sounded pissed at him too
>>14537704>>14537684it was like 6 years ago. his dad promoted it because he thought his billion subscribers would want to watch his son play madden. he deleted them.
>>14537702The better question is how does he game with one hand
>>14537673This would be a lot better if my tablet wasn't dead. Here ya go.
>>14537708I didn't use /ck/ nearly as much back then than I do now. I faintly remember seeing something about this though. I just think it would have been funny if Jack gave /ck/ a shoutout like Joey did that one time.
>>14537736When did Joey give us a shoutout??
>>14537741>Conservative Christian morals >69
>>14537742It was back in 2014 or so. I don't remember the specific video but I think he was trying to down a whole load of nacho cheese sauce or something during it. He did do it, though.
>>14537746it's the year he was bornand his wife Tammy loves to sit on faces
>>14537761Fuck dude Ja/ck/ looks so rough for 50.
>>14537747https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRTXDlD0wgwI found it. It's around 5:12 lol
>>14536440>>14536435That's just old people shit, not particularly related to Jack's lifestyle. I know a couple people who tore tendons out of the blue. One false movement and it snaps.
>>14536786Nice. Good job anon
>>14535866The thought of it makes me sick. She is not a good looking woman.
>havent seen a video for a while>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVp7yaGswO4This is sad, did he have another stroke or why can't he walk anymore?
>>14537881he had surgery on his foot again
>>14537363>jack>chefCooking some food does not make you a chef.
>>14537741Does Jack really play Dragon Quest? I never knew he had such good taste in video games.
>>14536715six figures in California is like $40k living in the Midwest, in terms of what you can affordCali and NYC and Washington DC have the highest cost of living in USA
>>14537623added him in Pokemon Go when that was newbut he hasn't been online for almost a year