2022-05-12: Ghost posting is now globally disabled. 2022: Due to resource constraints, /g/ and /tg/ will no longer be archived or available. Other archivers continue to archive these boards.Become a Patron!
Last thread died early because the OP and everyone after him was a bunch of jackasses. Let's do better this time.
Your thread has been hi/jack/ed
See, this is what we were talking about.
>>14460444Checked. Any Nigerian recipe webms? I want to please my Nigerian wife's Nigerian family at get-togethers.
>>14460700Yes. First, you'll need two pounds of nothing. Then you plate it and serve.
>>14460911These guys look like they go out into the woods and blow each other once they're done.
>>14460642If I was a billionaire, I'd buy 4chan for the sole reason to make jack posting a permanently bannable offense.
>>14460444OFF THE HEATON THE HEAT
>>14461017doesn't even cut himself on the knife he cuts himself on the tail of the fish LMFAO
>>14460938Lmao get Ja/ck/ed you loser
>>14460444I've had this style of eggs twice. Breakfast location in the south of france and a 4 star hotel Breakfast. It's definitely an acquired taste. The flavor is nice but the texture is pure snot.
>>14460642Who's jack? Watching the webms is it a special needs person cooking?
>>14460642God this is fucking terrifying.
>>14460642>sneaks in with the fast jackdevilishly based
>>14461017Christ, he didn't even take the scales off... It never ceases to amaze me that this guy isn't actually some sort of act. He's like the Ed Wood of cuizine.
>>14460444it always gets a bit of a laugh out of me when i see ramsey doing his thing with scrambled eggs acting like he's some genius or something
>>14460925>once they're doneMore like all throughout.
>>14460444surely someone made a webm from that shitpile ramsay made from canned chili and fritos on a racetrackhe salted canned chilihe salted fritosit looked like the worst steaming dog vomit in a bag I've ever seen
>>14461759Yes, I've seen it posted a couple of times.
>>14460444Eggs this runny are honestly fucking gross. Theres a middle ground. Scrambled Eggs shouldnt be fucking oatmeal.
>>14460660does anyone have a link to the vid where jack puts year old freezer meat in his chili?
>>14461043wtf is this cunt legit
>>14462281>is jack for real?You new?
Excuse me, hello everyonePlease kindly stop posting the same fucking videos over and overThank you for your kind considerations
>>14462481You simply have to grant us a Ja/ck/ sticky.
>>14460700Make stewed or roasted chicken with jollof rice. Easy to make and genuinely good.
who is this jack. he seems like a bad cook
>>14462255Enjoy your edible rocks.
>>14460911Fucking red necks aren't even human at this point
>>14460660>dead arm because you do stupid shit>keep doing it anywaysFor what purpose?
>>14462724i really, really want to know what his IQ is
>>14462759probably room temperaturein celsius
>>14462854Jack Scalfani is a genius, we're just too stupid to understand him.
How does he wash his hand?
>>14460444That amount of editing and fake reactions is why some people don’t like reality shows, as for the eggs there are retarde who actually think they have to get the pot off and on, it’s about heat control, which guess what, if you have an electric stove it already does this for you by cycling on and off. The chives tomatoes and mushrooms are to much no one eats like that. I didn’t see him adding salt, they also could have used a bit more butter
The worst part about jack is the current (and long running) state of /ck/ strongly indicating that a large quantity of people here can only meaningfully contribute with jack memes, fast food threads and brand validation. To these people, I recommend large quantities of cyanide, about 1g per serving. Maybe 2.
>>14462281He is a legit retard
>>14462622Is this a cringey team building activity at some shitty tech company?
>>14460444now we just need to add the crem freesh
>>14461084You sure?Im sure he presses his thumb on the rear corner
>>14463411What really annoys me is businesses really do set the culture/standard, people more than likely will eat about fucking anything. They're spreading that garbage without a care. Seeing that shit sit in the pool of butter at the end is so pathetic. Does anyone know what place this is?
>>14463489i bet this girl is fat now
>>14463489why do women think pizza is so funny?
>>14463497Doubt it. She was clearly just acting out for the camera. Hadn't even taken a bite of the second slice before the camera was on her, and can't get the bites down well at all.
>>14463504that's a shame
>>14463407I'm fascinated that the grilled toast doesn't disintegrate inside that vodka jar.
>>14463118how are you really supposed to use that thing?
>>14463426This is worse than any gore video. I'm damaged for life and I have lost all hope. Thank you kindly.
>>14463455Bending over while eating is really unhealthy. Sitting upright at a dining table is the way to go.
>>14460925>he doesnt know about the sex tape
>>14463459And they say the Chinese have weird eating habits.
>>14463590He is not fast, he is only moving fast, 90% of these movements achieve nothing but adding time to the preparation of the meal.
>>14463599>he is not fast>he is only moving fast
>>14463602>a fast chefWhat defines a fast chef? Him being able to prepare meals in a fast manner or him moving fast?
>>14463605he moves fast. thats why I titled the webm "fast chef"
>>14463541The other fucking way
>>14460444who doesn't like vomit on toast?
>>14462255Just cook it longer. There's nothing about the method itself that makes the eggs inherently runny.
>>14460925>Sodomite has to prjoect his hit onto othersStay worthless
>>14463445>American>clearly germanWhy can't eurocucks face themselves sometimes?
>>14461361what the fuck is that even
>>14463063He did add salt, and the brits pair tomatoes and mushrooms with brekkies
>>14463599this is your brain on /ck/
>>14463612Being deliberately obtuse are we now? Fast jittery movements slows the cooking process down.Remember slow is smooth, smooth is fast
>>14463599No hes not fast.Its a show.....Hes entertaining the people
>>14463679Its a fake documentary made by germans about what americans eat.Try again billbob
>>14463617>live in Hispanic household>if the meat doesn't taste like the animal died in lime juice, its unclean
>>14460642Jack's simple existence pisses me off how did he avoid being run over as a child?
>>14463996Dude on right must've just gotten out of jail or returned from a deployment or some shit like that.
>>14460911its honesty good to let some ash fall into your chili while cooking it outside in your dutch over. But these guys are just faggots about it. Disgusting.
>>14461033>blow drying chickenyou cant make this stuff up kek
>>14463757So are you saying he was not moving fast?
>>14464068meant to makes it more crispy
>>14464003I just want to let you know I fucking hate you. I get sick of explaining this webm every time some mouthbreather like you feels the need to give their input.
>>14464094shit wrong one
In about 3.5 hours our 4CC team takes on /biz/ in a must win match to advance to the Summer Cup knockoutstageKeep your eyes peeled for a matchthread
>>14464160o fuck ya
>>14464103I bet that guy posts that post every thread just to get your hackles up. It's almost the exact same text every time.
>>14464537yeah, probably right.
>>14464537Well I'm a little bitch that gets upset reading words on the internet. I have no life so this is the only outlet for my pent up anger about how life isn't easy and not everything is handed to me with no effort on my part.
>>14463628He lost because the competition was judged by everyone eating the chili, not because he relied on his year-old brisket.
>>14460642I love it so much
>>14465120If this is real, how does he get out of there?
>>14465120I really really really like this image, can I save it?
>>14463579I went on a 6 month wait for those bagels. It confuses me to see they would throw burgers on them. They are not sweet or candy bagels. They are light bagels that are colored differently.
>>14462304I was once too. I wish I could go down the Jack hole again
>>14463630That is why you have a second rack for that style of fish cooking. You do a rack sandwich with the fish in the middle and flip it nice and clean.
kickoff for /ck/ vs /biz/ in 20 minutes or somatchthread is live aswell
>>14464112me on the left
>>14464103What's the explanation
>>14465361It was all for a video
>>14465401Was the video about him getting out of prison?
>>14464867>cooking on the public park grillesits like he wants to die
>>14463426Is eating like this a rich person thing, or a gay person thing?
>>14463996This is the /ck/ version of the virgin vs. chad meme.
>>14462304I am new to /ck/, what's his story?
>>14464834>sticker still on the abble
>>14465698need to get your fiber somehow
>>14465698It also hasn't been cored.
>>14463410Some of these gif recipes are so fucking stupid that I didn't realize this was a joke until the oak barrel.
>>14462724How did he lose his arm?
>>14460660I was hoping this was the one with the whole canned pepper
>>14465975Had several strokes due to his diet
>>14460444These threads do nothing but deepen my hatred of Americans all the more.
>>14465982this one ?
>>14463541Insert the serated edge inside first, then pull upwards.
>>14464094I LOVE SEAL
>>14466023Lmao that's it
>>14462628They're from Massachusetts
>>14463455Somehow this is the first time I have ever seen the second part of this and it never occurred to me that she was actually going to eat it.
>>14460642Ever since his second stroke ja/ck/ing it hasn't felt the same.
>>14462622I know this was pretty much a South Park episode, but imagine having to explain something like the event in that webm to someone who dreams about being gifted a bowl of rice the same way we dream about winning the lottery. I'm not saying we should be ashamed of having food when others don't, but it's kind of fascinating how incredibly different lives people have. I do also think food should be treated with a little more respect.
>>14462724He unironically thinks he's living healthier now because he's on keto. Although he is of course not sticking to that either.
>>14466378don't worry, he is going to prays therapy and it wil be fine soon enough if he prays just a little harder
>>14463411The woman at 0:12 gets me every time.I can smell the small-town flyover-state quiet desperation through the screen.
>>14466049JUST OPEN THE FUCKING BAG NORMALLY
>>14463445>>14463455This is from German comedy TV. She's a bit of a celeb over there. Called Dome (Dominique Gregori)The shows are scripted, but they still had to cast someone really fat and direct her to act like a disgusting lardass. I wonder what that was like.She's lost some weight since I guess.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dExou3SbXvM
>>14461122why is jack's house so much nicer than mine?
>>14463599It's called "actions per minute" and it's how badassery is measured, kiddo.
>>14463516i hear u bud
>>14464094>tfw no seal bro who loves you
>>14463599they didnt hire him to make food they hired him to slam his massive testes on the counter and throw a big knife around his head
>>14466521imagine the brain freeze
>>14464103Damn Miss Lasagna is thicc. How much?
>>14465401Goddamn, everything on the internet is staged.
>>14464112That's Muelle de Los Pescadores on Santa Cruz
>>14463617The bowl of limes always gets me
>>14466310this webm kills me anytime I see it, even donating to charity these days isnt helpful, just makes me sad
>>14463630>the desperate grab that knocks the metal plate offEvery fucking time man
>>14465532it's a yuropoor thing
>>14466455The food here cooks itself!
>>14462481Feel free to post something new.
>>14466504He serves the food back in the bag later.
>>14465120How did he get it?
>>14465424No the video was about him and his friends from The Chive wanting to make "le epic video."
>>14464867That shot of the grey lifeless meat reminds me of the stinkymeat project.
>>14466265Same for Ja/ck/
>>14466521>yfw seeing the ice cream get noticeably smaller because of how many filters this bitch is on
>>14466310that's a sad video, where is it from?
anybody got the webm of ja/ck/'s non-newtonian sauce
>>14466149You ever watch these and feel kinda bad that he's gonna lose that arm. It's kinda sad. I mean if he didn't deserve it.
>>14466544Cuz he makes more money than you. And he's retarded. So what does that say about you
>>14467644That was a good observation
>>14462255I do generally the same thing and just cook it somewhat longer as I like a more set scramble myself.
>>14463136I quite like Neufchatel cheese in mine.My grocer sells a nice one for a pretty cheap price.
>>14460668This person is devoid of worth
>>14463411Stay classy America.
>>14468198Stay jelly person from a country no one cares about
>>14463590Trying way too hard
>>14464103>>14465361>>14465401don't forget that guy on the left is also doing it for a video where it's explicitly shown as "how not to eat pizza"
>>14460642The most dangerous tool in the kitchen is a dull knife. Or anything wieled by jack.
>>14468198Thought this was jack at first. Actually looked delicious and edible. Unhealthy as fuck but good
>>14464003Good thought anon. That would make sense.
>>14468494give a sharp knife to an idiot and see what happens
>>14461571I think of it as more of a sauce than scrambled eggs. I make em like that sometimes on cheese toast, pretty good.
the cockthe clamthe legendkeeping the dream alivesaturday vs /adv/ in The Ro16
>>14466504>he doesn't know about the pinnacle of mexican haute cuisineWhy even live, anon?
>>14466455yeah living in a city besieged by niggers must be so much better
>>14468570Couldn't catch it, still waiting on bootleg to update.
>>14461715butter, not lard. fuck off
>>14462886bless u anon
>>14467809Here you go bro
>>14468635https://www.twitch.tv/videos/691618863got a backup for you here
>>14468555Say that to me IRL
>>14465504i think about this fucking prick a lot more than anyone should. why
>>14460911so this is an allegory to a poz session between them, right?
>>14463416i want to kiss that cook!
>>14467644that's a beautiful woman.
>>14461583He lost most of his dexterity in his right arm from a stroke. His arm is just about as useful as a wooden stick.However, his disability isn't what makes his channel such a trainwreck. Most people should be able to cook decently with one hand. Jack just has a knack of fucking up just about every single thing he makes.
>>14465532>dabbing the oil off the pizza>doing everything to keep oil/sauce off face & handsUnironically an autism thing. If you do this you are probably on the spectrum. I should know
>>14465120Egg if he real
>>14468994lol I saw this one too...
>>14460660Why do soiboi faggots always make these faces?
>>14460911I'd try it...Those people look like douchbags who get too drunk, but if it was hot off the fire I'd try that sauce with a beer and whatever off the grill.
>>14469021There is no possible way cigar ash will make a sauce taste better.
>>14463516Fuckin' mint post cunt
>>14469011It's an intimidation and dominance assertion tactic.
>>14462255Even your oatmeal shouldn't be that runny.
>>14463426This gay little space alien will rim a stranger he met on a grindr 15 minutes ago in a public bathroom, but can't handle a little pizza grease.
>>14466455Why did he do it bros?
>>14466049lmao I just watched the whole thing on youtube>ya m8 ets streyt food>thats why everything is in cans>proceeds to make frito crumbs>"cooks" the "chili" and eggs>scrambles everything together>puts it back in the bag in the most awkward way (as a personal note: HOT STUFF ON PLASTIC)>it looks bad but tastes gr8 m8Meanwhile in the comments people are shaking their heads in disbelief and Texans are seething like deep fryer lard
>>14463414>all this food gone to waste for a fucking dumb jokeHadn't seen that one and the worst thing before the punchline was that shred of lettuce refuse.
>>14460444That looks lush desu, would deepthroat/10
>>14468646What the fuck. How does a human life create these monstrosities? That sauce an insult to God.
>>14469366delusion is genuinely a beautiful thing
>>14461715>saveurMakes me laugh when they use French words to try and oversell something horriblet. Frenchfag from Provence
>>14469340Lmao who gives a donkey's cunt about your garbage state's sloppa shit """cuisine"""He's clearly just taking the piss and getting paid at the same time, laughing his way to the bank.
>>14465920You really had to wait until the barrel part for that?
>>14469488room temperature IQ
>>14464590>don't do things for the money>keeps his price low with respect to inflation and underpays his workers because he doesn't need to get richer at a higher rate
>>14469623What are these greasy disks
>>14469682his version of yorkshire pudding
>>14469623>Perfectly burnt british foodWell, this is a first for jack to get the recipe just right
>>14463684read the fucking label you retard
>>14469613I had to look up this video to figure out what was going on. I don't think Jack's in the wrong on this one - the instructions used to say to lock the latch when cooking.
>>14463407Fucking obese alcoholics
>>14463414Ahahaaa haa hooThat is waaayy to much pickles. Have you seen so many pickles in one room?
>>14463092I checked his YouTube channel and he doesn't allow comments.Now why is that?
>>14469684??? Really? Pic related is what a Yorkshire pudding is meant to be.
>>14467876>Cuz he makes more money than you.He don't, he has been moching his wife money since he started his youtube carrer. He earn about 300$ of youtube since he closed the comment section. Also his wife was recently sacked from her job
>>14468646Seriously please someone tell me what that sauce was supposed to be?
>>14469816General Tso's chicken
>>14469652Those fillets are so fucking big
>>14469011it's trying to make mouthbreathing seem normal
>>14469258To be fair, eating a stranger's asshole is just about as sanitary as eating at New York pizza places.
>>14463602He means that his is just moving body parts without accomplishing anything in a fast manner
>>14469762Lol why do you think
>>14469813Then why does he have a better house? Go buy a better house if you have so much money and you're complaining that your house is shitty
>>14469821What the fuck
>>14463063>they also could have used a bit more butterfat fucker
>>14465120look at how smug that egg-nigger is at his egg preperation skillselitist fuck
>>14469882so you agree hes fast then?
>>14470121Yes you were right all along, I am just being autistic. You are also autistic and this whole conversation is autistic as fuck, because anyone arguing semantics is highly autistic. But yes I am being slightly more autistic than you, and I am technically wrong.
>>14470155>Yes you were right all alongThats all I wanted to hear.
>>14468646This is jack's masterpiece, a mixture so thorougly fucked up not even the physics work out
>>14470251>what are non-newtonian fluids?
milk = beerracoon = me last night
>>14470228I apologise for my transgressions, and offer my anus to you.
>>14470273Meet me behind the 7-11 in 10 minutes.
>>14470254That sauce is not supposed to be non-newtonian you dimwit
>>14470322So? The phsyics still work out, no matter what he had intended.
>>14466554why does he oil the plate when he buttered the toast in the first placei will never understand
>>14470473Because you know what works better for a crispy crust than fat? More fat.
>>14463414>>14469348>>14469752It takes a very high IQ to know that pickles are inherently funny on many levels but this is probably lost on you two dunces. I have a pickle Rick chest tattoo and every morning when I see it in the mirror I smirk and have to think of airheads like you and it gives me a really good chuckle to know most people will never understand pickle related jokes. Le fools. This cooking video is too sublime for you to understand. Lol.
>>14469557>comes into a fun thread>absolutely HAS to be gay and gay it all upCan you not?
>>14464854Is he genuinely retarded or is this just his YouTube persona?
>>14460444That is an awful way to do scrambled eggs. WTF Ramsey?!
>>14464094literally sea doggo
>>14470633He is genuinely stupid. Like not retarded, just stupid.
>>14469765The funny bit is that he cannot cook well nor does he do basic research/practice about the dishes but still produces a cooking show.
>>14470769It's like Cooking With Kay without the charm
>>14470825Kay is a northumbrian sideshow freakJack is simply inept
>>14461715>not even the right masa
>>14461724or you can just use a crumpled up piece of tinfoil to scrub the grate
>>14469698It escalated. He started cursing at my pizza and me and having rage issues and there were two times. Once he put his hand on my pizza and it wasn't like he pushed it, but it was an aggresive way and I took him down to the, I threw him down to the ground and the second time he put his hands on the screaming sicilian. Pushed back against the air. I took him down and I was gonna kill him. I was choking him out and I haven't fought ever since I choked my other son. I was choking him and screaming in his ears "You don't ever touch another man's pizza" on top of my voice. I was choking him so hard his nose started to bleed and I didn't know when to stop.
>>14468198holy shit that face reveal had more power than that man will ever knowthe whole time I was thinking >what the hell this doesn't look bad at all
>>14470916Who is this so I can watch more
>>14464834jesus, I machine just to slice things into 4 or 8? Do Americans really?>knife just next to itkek
>>14469523wtf is that food
>>14466005And the poor chap refuses to change
>>14466455>if I have to die, I will die with honor. To crabhalla!
>>14460660needs more spices
>>14463630That fish was cooked through already lol
>>14466554Jesus christ Favreau, its a fucking grilled cheese.
>>14461033that's actually disgusting
>>14461033Yes make sure to heat up the meat just enough for bacteria to grow on it
>>14463118kek why the fuck would the pointy edges even be there if you weren't supposed to insert that side first?
>>14460668What he was even trying to accomplish?
>>14472737>What he was even trying to accomplish?Medium rare egg a la Jacques
>>14472764>burn it to a crisp>still raw insidefucking jack
>>144678602 stroke, wheelchair bound, giant kidney stone every years, beetus and paralyzed from his right side and it's still not a wake up call for this retard. webm related this the first thing he "cooked" after losing his arm