delivery stories

[Anonymous No.14386968]

>order Uber Eats
>see cute arab girl is my driver
>her photo looks amazing
>quickly brush my teeth, comb my hair and put on outdoor pants
>she walks up to the door
>open it in advance like a gentlemen
>"Yes?"
>"Order for anon?"
>"Oh of course thank you very much. Hey do you want to join me?"
>"Okay"
>only ordered for one so I have to cut my burgie in half
>start streaming Hellraiser 1 on my tv while we eat
>"Thanks"
>she just leaves, barely 10 minutes into Hellraiser 1
>feel like an idiot for not trying to fuck her
>still hungry because only had a shake, fries and half a burger
>order another meal from a different place so they don't think I'm greedy
>Uber Eats assigns the same driver
>FUCK
>she gets my chinese food and brings it back
>"I thought this was the same address"
>"Y-yeah I didn't eat lunch today" (lie)
>offer her some chinese food
>"You're not going to keep ordering food because you shared right?"
>laugh it off
>Resume Hellraiser where we left off
> "You know it's like you're my girlfriend just for tonight...you know getting me dinner and watching movies with me"
>she finishes up and leaves again
>what the fuck she didn't even thank me this time
>give her a 1 star for both deliveries and complain she ate some of my food.

[Anonymous No.14386999]

>>14386968
This is fine but I get banned for off topic for posting a REPLY in a thread on /adv/? God I wish someone would fucking blow chinese moots head off.

[Anonymous No.14387006]

>>14386999
Digits and also you’re just sour your shitposting is trash

[Anonymous No.14387009]

>>14386999
I got banned from here for saying mexican food was bland brown garbage, inverted Satan.

[Anonymous No.14387076]

Good job, OP. Thank you for keeping app deliveries free of parasitic dead weight.

[Anonymous No.14387121]

>>14386968
I would have done the same, but my complaint would have been she didn't put out. All three of my phone numbers have been banned from every fast food app in my area, but I can just get another prepaid SIM card if I need to.

[Anonymous No.14387166]

So many people who haven’t seen this before.
Lurk for at least two years before posting, newfags.

[Anonymous No.14387191]

>>14387166
>uber eats is more than a year old
lmfao

[Anonymous No.14387348]

>>14387166
Who died and made you queen? Fuck you for telling people what to do

[Anonymous No.14387356]

>>14386968
She was just being polite its good yoi didbt try to fuck her she wpuld of called the cops and the girfreind thing you said was super creepy you need to work on reading the situation and work on your game its weak. What a normal person would of done is the second time she came ask her if she would like to come over to eat sometime when shes not working.

[Anonymous No.14387365]

>>14387166
Been visiting thid particular board for about 3 years and never seen it
Iv been on this god awful site for longer than i would like to admit

[Anonymous No.14387366]

>>14387365
Nobody would admit to visiting this site even once. It would mean instant estrangement.

[Anonymous No.14387919]

>>14386999
Same thing happened to me on /tv/. I accumulated 3 bans in 5 minutes for replying to off topic threads. I'm pretty sure they have a function to ban everybody who posted in a thread.

[Anonymous No.14388077]

>>14386968
>it’s a cold day in hell when a young lady can’t even accept food from a stranger because they’re just trying to fuck her

[Anonymous No.14388100]

>>14387919
this. Happened in /tv/ so damn often for me, I simply resist the urge to post in them. Sadly, the shitposting off-topic threads are my favorite ones.

[Anonymous No.14388108]

>>14386968
I was the delivery guy for a wine shop in Brooklyn.

>Deliver a few bottles to this lady literally across the street
>She's kind of crazy, really wants to talk
>I oblige
>She tips me $40

>Deliver one bottle of expensive champagne
>Black guy in a purple bathrobe comes out, pays cash and tips me $20

>Deliver a crate of wine to this one guy every week
>End up making friends with him

>Coming back from a delivery
>See some guy pissing on a tree on the sidewalk
>This is supposed to be a nice neighborhood dammit

[Anonymous No.14388161]

>>14386999
I got banned for doing a Rayshard greentext in a thread about fast food drivethru experiences. Mods left up all the non race related shitposts though

[Anonymous No.14388213]

>>14387121
How the fuck do you get banned from a food app?

[Anonymous No.14388215]

>>14386968
>order Uber Eats
stopped reading there

[Anonymous No.14388233]

>Deliver a few bottles to this lady literally across the street
>Black guy in a purple bathrobe comes out, pays cash and tips me $20

>See some guy pissing on a tree on the sidewalk
>End up making friends with him

[Anonymous No.14388255]

>order pizza
>not here after 40 mins
>call to ask what the fuck
>manager cant get in contact with delivery guy
>calls back saying he got in wreck
>refunded

[Anonymous No.14389595]

>>14388255
>'is my pizza ok?'

[Anonymous No.14389602]

>>14386968
I don't know who that blue guy is but I love him tbqlhwy.

[Anonymous No.14389695]

put me in the r/greentext screenshot

[Anonymous No.14389789]

>>14389595
>"tell him to drag his broken ass to my front door, i'm starving"

[Anonymous No.14389884]

>>14386968
Based, thanks for the laugh

[Anonymous No.14390010]

>>14386968
That was a pretty good yarn

[Anonymous No.14390458]

>be me
>like 10
>order pizza from local pizza place
>green pepper and onion like always
>guy arrives
>skinny crackhead type
>dad exchanges 'za for cash
>don't have enough change for tip so give him a few bucks, feels sorry and apologizes even
>tweaker having none of it
>"this all? fuck you"
>man realizes his mistake and tries to flee to car
>father might be old and fat but he was fast as fuck that day
>stomps after the man as he tries to run
>massive gorilla hands grip his boney shoulder
>extra dexterity so escapes from encroaching death
>dad still has a grip on him and rips the back of his shirt
>tweaker runs off back to car and drives away
>father calls pizza place immediately and gets the guy fired
>one free pizza as a token of forgiveness

stopped eating there after they put a staple in my pizza but thats life. Great garlic knots though 6/10

[Anonymous No.14390474]

>>14390458
>green pepper and onion
>garlic knots

[Anonymous No.14391797]

>>14388100
Every post ever made or to be made in /tv/ was or will be a shitpost.

[Anonymous No.14391998]

I love arab girls

[Anonymous No.14391999]

>>14391797
sneed

[Anonymous No.14392496]

>>14388108
imagine not being ashamed of living in fucking Brooklyn. kill yourself