/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.14347866]

Don't mind me, just going to eat something called MUSH

What is up with so many vegan alternatives sounding disgusting or dystopian? Soylent for example. Do the hipsters in charge of the companies think it's cute or so ironic that it's endearing and funny? It's a hard cringe from me, bruh bruh

[Anonymous No.14347881]

>>14347866
>. Do the hipsters in charge of the companies think it's cute or so ironic that it's endearing and funny?

Yes. It's okay to not agree with trends but damn man don't pretend to be ignorant of them.

[Anonymous No.14347883]

>>14347866
>blended with real food

[Anonymous No.14347888]

is mylk like malk?

[Anonymous No.14347945]

>>14347888
kinda but it's closer to melk

[Anonymous No.14347977]

>>14347866
It's pretending to be dystopian shit while trying to be funny about it. It 'gets the joke', and embraces it, all without acknowledging that they are the same as their parody.

[Anonymous No.14348032]

>>14347866
Overnight oats are literally the easiest goddamn shit to make! And they're offering it like a subscription service. WTF is wrong with this company?

[Anonymous No.14348043]

>>14348032
Cooking is easy if you aren’t retarded desu. The grocery store literally has everything you need to make any recipe however people still get subscription boxes to make meals with pre-prepped ingredients.

[Anonymous No.14348108]

>>14347945
for me, it's molk

[Anonymous No.14348137]

ah yes, horrendous amounts of plastic waste for people so woke that they won't eat honey due to bee slavery or something

[Anonymous No.14348147]

>>14348108
enjoy your osteoporosis, mulk is superior

[Anonymous No.14348150]

>>14348032
No one knows how to do anything resembling cooking anymore.

[Anonymous No.14348158]

>>14347883
Its because if it isn't vegan its going to have creepy chemistry in it cause vegan logic.

[Anonymous No.14348172]

>>14347866
This looks like a Soviet era nightmare that someone like Steve1989 would eat out of curiosity. Even the name sounds like an overly-literal machine translation of something that is "supposed" to be appetising.

[Anonymous No.14348183]

>>14348147
We're a malk family.

[Anonymous No.14348206]

>>14348158
LOOK MAN WOULDNT IT JUST BE LIKE MUCH BETTER FOR THE ANIMALS IF WE JUST RELEASED ALL THE CATTLE INTO THE WILD AND LEFT THEM TO DIE AND THEN JUST PAVE OVER THE FIELDS WITH FACTORIES TO MAKE OUR FOOD FROM MORE WILD LANDS THAT MUST BE CLEARED AND PLOWED TO GROW PLANTS WITH SPECIFIC MICRONUTRIENTS TO BE SHIPPED BY VEHICLE TO THE FACTORY IN ORDER TO HAVE SEVERAL CHEMICALS EXTRACTED AND THEN ADDED TO A MIXTURE OF 20 OTHER CHEMICALS DERIVED FROM SIMILAR SOURCES AND THEN HAVE THOSE SHIPPED TO MY HOUSE ON A DAILY BASIS SO I DONT HAVE TO THINK ABOUT WHAT I EAT NEVER EVER AGAIN

GOD I JUST WANT TO HELP THE ANIMALS CANT YOU SEE HOW MUCH MY PLANS WILL HELP THE ANIMALS WE ONLY NEED TO REMOVE ALL CATTLE GRAZING LAND, REPLACE IT WITH FARM LAND, AND THEN MAGICALLY FIND SPACE FOR ALL THE MILLIONS OF EXTRA ACRES FOR MORE FARMS AND MORE FACTORIES GOD IT ISNT THAT HARD ACCEPT MY WORLD VIEW OR WE WILL MAKE YOU EAT BUGS CARNY

[Anonymous No.14348215]

>>14347866
>sounding disgusting or dystopian
Appropriation of marxist agendas, old cold war era angst or spy novel fashion, fashionably easy industrial culture sensibilities. If there is no flippin' cause or agenda in your life, or you are incomplete fanatic type, whether from lack of religion, lack of financial promise, lack of control over your life, then these nearly military looking brands are cool looking.

Remember marketing is primarily "just try it once!" than actually being of quality or brand loyalty sensibilities. Almost most any brand will make money if someone buys it once to just try it. If it is instagrammable, artistic looking, even better, more people will try it exactly once too. If it weren't true, there wouldn't be red velvet cake cookie crisp nor military level gamer fuel editions of energy drinks. Buy it once!

Basically, just anything with a mission or ideology is cool. Don't want to join the badass Israeli military but look interesting in your life? Wear a shade of green in drag green or olive, esp with combat boots or cargo pockets, bam, you're cool looking aka Victoria Beckham.

[Anonymous No.14348218]

>>14348183
>almond malk
your family is a lie

[Anonymous No.14348230]

>>14348206
Accurate but I have to deduct points for not referring to yourself as a "plant-based human" to real sell that air of smug fuckery that real vegans throw off.

[Anonymous No.14348237]

i made pudding

[Anonymous No.14348267]

>>14348108
You mean mook

[Anonymous No.14348275]

>>14348230
Kek, you’re right, will throw that in next time I’m autistically ranting

[Anonymous No.14348276]

>>14347866
>processed and packadged """""overnight oats""""""

[Anonymous No.14348295]

>>14348043
You can always get more money, but you can never get more time. It’s more convenient to get the shit sent to you don’t have to make the trip to the store.

[Anonymous No.14348299]

>>14348206
But anon. Vegetable farming takes less land than animal farming. Did you forget that the animals have to eat too?

[Anonymous No.14348402]

>>14348299
Schiz on the fritz
>>14348032
Join their woman-owned journey, bigot

[Anonymous No.14348459]

>>14348299
>instead of using a natural organic process to convert unusable plant material into edible food (meat) we should use factories
I hate to say it, but you’re a retard if you unironically think this

[Anonymous No.14348607]

>>14348459
>unusable
But that’s wrong.

[Anonymous No.14348810]

>>14348607
It depends on what you feed the cows, shit for brains. Imagine if every town had a farmer and he just had cows in a big field of grass that’s large enough to sustain a herd. Suddenly, there’s not so many problems with farming.
You can have as many problems you want with modern farming techniques because they’re mostly just for profit and are pretty much totally shit. Being too stupid to imagine a system where monopolizing factory farms don’t exist and regular healthy farms do exist just makes you a retard, because instead of logically making steps towards a better tomorrow you want to jump straight into industrial hell.

[Anonymous No.14348938]

>>14347866
>mylk
huh?

[Anonymous No.14349128]

>>14347866
How the hell does Soylent sound disgusting or dystopian? It's a good, catchy name that even sounds tasty.

[Anonymous No.14349141]

>>14349128
>What is Soylent Green
It's people.

[Anonymous No.14349376]

>>14347866
Vegans hate themselves and the world, so it's only natural for them to torture themselves with shite like this. Vegans also often desecrate their own flesh with tattoos, piercings, and such as well.

[Anonymous No.14349394]

>>14348108
unfortunately i'm Vitamin R deficient, so i need my Malk

[Anonymous No.14349455]

>>14348032
>Woman owned. Human powered.
Are they trying to say women aren't human?

[Anonymous No.14349467]

>>14348150
Hasn't the big AIDS made home cooking fashionable again?

[Anonymous No.14349642]

>>14349455
Shut up and eat the MUSH

[Anonymous No.14349675]

>>14349394
For me, it's Mjölk

[Anonymous No.14349954]

They're usually lefties who are useful idiots for this 1984 tier system we live in. They love that dystopian brave new world shit.

[Anonymous No.14350938]

>>14349128
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soylent_Green
Read the synopsis

[Anonymous No.14351551]

>>14350938
>Trivia
>Soylent, a brand of meal replacement products whose creator was inspired by the book and film to use that name
I know it's wikipedia and I need to [cite my sources], but Jesus fuck. What a sanctimonious dickhead cunt faggot larper that guy must be.

[Anonymous No.14351557]

>>14347888

[Anonymous No.14351592]

Oh? Someone's trying to be a little quirky with their marketing of a product I have no intention of buying? Better shit it on it to prove I'm a big tough man who loves to eat dead animals hahaha don't want anyone to think I'm a h-homo or something hahaha

[Anonymous No.14351629]

>blended with real food
eww

[Anonymous No.14351647]

>>14348295
yes because spending 15 minutes making dinner is really going to take away so much time from your switch gaming sessions

[Anonymous No.14351778]

>>14351592
OP here. I share a house with people. It's called roommates. One of my roommates brought this garbage home. You write like an insatiable cunt and a "quirky homo" and no, that's not a compliment, you sick fuck.
>Inb4 pleb or poor unless you post your chins, social security number and bank account information

[Anonymous No.14351794]

>>14351551
>finding out the truth of what's in soylent green sends the character in the movie insane
>eating actual soylent turns you into pic related
Maybe he was just on to something

[Anonymous No.14351816]

>>14348032
Companies trying to make everything, especially food, a subscription service is the worst thing imaginable. It honestly makes me depression spiral.

The idea of somebody actually spending 30 bucks or whatever a month to get little anchovy cans with 50 cents worth of soy milk and oatmeal in it makes me want to throw a trashcan through a bank window and head into the night slashing tires

[Anonymous No.14351869]

>>14351778
>Products and people exist and I don't like them even though they have no impact on my own life! I'd better go and register my displeasure with autistic strangers on the Internet!
Don't worry big guy even if you were fabulously wealthy you'd still be a pathetic spiritual redditor

[Anonymous No.14351957]

>>14351869
Heckin projectarino

[Anonymous No.14351981]

>>14347866
>Ow, my bones are so brittle...

[Anonymous No.14352014]

>>14351981
Eat some more mush, they blend it with real food! Nevermind the oats and "mylk" you find mixed in with the real food, though. And remember, this is a woman-owned food business, they worked really hard, which a man probably can't understand. If you don't act like you enjoy this, I will tell your mother and your supervisor at work. Here comes the choo-choo train, spoon included!

[Anonymous No.14352021]

>>14351816
The meal subscription services that are just a box of ingredients and a detailed recipe on how to prepare a specific meal have some merit. They allow people who are unfamiliar with cooking and meal planning an easy way to build their knowledge. Are they overpriced and kind of waste given the internet exists? Sure, but I think a lot of people tend to get paralyzed by insecurity when it comes to their own ignorance around food and cooking and those services help them get over that. This shit though? Who the fuck can't manage some oatmeal and milk in tupperware for a couple of hours?

[Anonymous No.14352032]

>>14352021
Interesting point about insecurities, I think that goes for venturing into any unfamiliar territory. Says something about human interaction, separation, determination, motivation and confidence.

[Anonymous No.14352084]

>>14348032
>women owned
oh boy

[Anonymous No.14352306]

>>14349675
That´s not Arla Mellanmjölk and if I remember correctly isn´t Garant highly pasteurized to the point where it barely even taste like milk anymore just to get a ridicoulus best before-date although I do think it was at least better than ICA/Coop/Skånemejerier but that´s not really saying anything.

[Anonymous No.14352324]

>>14348295
And how do you get that money?

[Anonymous No.14352351]

>>14347866
50 dollars for 10 servings of this shit. You can get 50 lbs of organic oats for 53 bucks. And the oats are in a paper bag. Also this stuff isn't even organic. Enjoy your lead and pesticide poisoning.

[Anonymous No.14352976]

>>14352324
I ask your mom for $20 every time I get done banging her and she gives it to me. I've made no small fortune doing just that. You may have heard of me? Bill Gates?

[Anonymous No.14353818]

>>14352084
>Oh boy
women owned

[Anonymous No.14355096]

>>14351592
fuck off faggot

[Anonymous No.14355112]

>>14352351
>50lbs for $53
anon, i can go to the wholesaler and get 500lbs for $100

[Anonymous No.14355136]

>>14348032
>$5 per serving
>it’s just oats, water, and some fruit
Hipsters have far more money than sense. If someone can make bank selling this shit to zoomer NPCs, more power to them.

[Anonymous No.14355812]

>>14347866
>blended with real food

[Anonymous No.14355838]

>>14351816
>Companies trying to make everything, especially food, a subscription service
VCs only paying out easily for subscription service companies, that's why shit like this exists

[Anonymous No.14357175]

>>14355838
VCs? Can you reframe your post lol

[Anonymous No.14357188]

>>14347866
oh boy real food wat a treat

[Anonymous No.14357191]

>>14348043
>The grocery store literally has everything you need to make any recipe
it doesnt

[Anonymous No.14357245]

>>14351647
15 minutes? It takes me 15 to get to the grocery store, probably about an hour in there depending on how big the queues are. Let's say I've already got the ingredients at home, it'll take 15 mins just prepping the ingredients depending on what I'm cooking, and then there's the actual cooking time.

[Anonymous No.14357351]

>ingredients
>oats
>doesn't say anything else about what the fuck this shit has
https://eatmush.com/pages/ingredients
Woman-owned.

[Anonymous No.14357384]

>>14355112
Wow thats like 20 servings of this shit oatmeal!

[Anonymous No.14357432]

>>14357175
Venture Capital

[Anonymous No.14357967]

>>14357384
all oatmeal is shit

[Anonymous No.14357975]

>>14357967
Tru but I do like my 10 day fermented oats, cooking them down, and making them into biscuits

[Anonymous No.14358067]

>>14357351
Real food. Not enough HFCS and plastic American dairy product for you, sweaty?

[Anonymous No.14358535]

>>14358067
"Real food" isn't an ingredient

[Anonymous No.14359438]

>>14358535
t. typical American flyover trash

[Anonymous No.14360382]

>>14357245
>t. 0 planning skills whatsoever, has horrible vacations

[Anonymous No.14360407]

>>14347866
>mylk
>blended with real food

[Anonymous No.14360425]

>>14348032
>>14347866
>>14348108
>>14348147
https://youtu.be/yZo2mbbCmKQ

[Anonymous No.14361241]

>>14348230
>>14348206
Most of the plant crop we grow goes to feeding livestock. Did you even think this through for a second before posting? Or is this bait, in which case haha I guess

[Anonymous No.14361246]

>>14348459
>chemicals bad, artificial bad

This, so much this! I've been trying to get those diabetics to stop taking insulin! Don't they know that artificial crap isn't natural!??

[Anonymous No.14361250]

>>14348810
Having all livestock be grazing fed would take up even more land than the current system brainlet. LITERALLY what is your iq? If you don't reply with an actual tested iq I'm done replying because it's clear that you are stupid and not worth engaging with

[Anonymous No.14361257]

>>14349376
>Vegans also often desecrate their own flesh with tattoos, piercings, and such as well.

Can we stop with group think? Most vegans don't have tattoos, and most people with tattoos aren't vegan

[Anonymous No.14361259]

>>14349954
>brave new world
>dystopia

brainlet

[Anonymous No.14361262]

Damn all the søyim vegans came out of the woodwork, funny.

[Anonymous No.14361266]

i'm speechless. this is a new low

[Anonymous No.14361282]

>>14347866

[Anonymous No.14361288]

>>14361250
>it would take more land
And I suppose humans need it for their watered grass lawns and miles wide parking lots that can be solved with a single existing structure?

[Anonymous No.14361306]

>>14361288
Are you having a stroke lmao?

[Anonymous No.14361333]

>>14361288
better luck next time 0/10

[Anonymous No.14361869]

>>14361288
Stop it. Get help.

[Anonymous No.14362429]

>>14347945
Is that anything like Miak?

[Anonymous No.14363398]

>>14361257
find 10 vegans who dont have tattoos and piercings

[Anonymous No.14363510]

>>14348402
Yeess.. Ma am.. *puts a spoonful of overpriced soy laced anti-nutrients in mouth* BLM!

[Anonymous No.14363543]

>>14362429
i'm glad someone else posted this, i didn't feel like googling an image
thanks

[Anonymous No.14363557]

>>14357975
recipe?

[Anonymous No.14364231]

>>14363557
360 grams flour of choice
12 grams baking soda or powder, Ive used both, didn't notice a difference. Powder might be better though.
3 grams salt
60 grams sugar.
Mix
Add 90 grams cold butter, I like to cut it into cubes.
Then mix the butter with the flour until the butter is in pea sized chunks. I use my hands but you can use a buiscuit cutter if you want.
240 grams fermented oats, cooked.
100 grams milk.
mix, and fold until combined, then place on floured surface and roll out to 1 inch thickness. I cut them with a glass or a jar, but you can use whatever. be sure not to twist as you press down.
Place on well greased pyrex or cast iron skillet. brush 1 egg on top (optional, but I like how it makes the top look), bake at 350 for 12 minutes. If it's not done, bake additional 3-5 mins. They will be done once the tops are lightly browned.
Let cool 10 minutes and enjoy!
It's a very fast recipe and super tasty! Preparation takes me about 10 minutes.

[Anonymous No.14364239]

>>14364231
Cup measurements
1.5 cup flour
1 tbsp baking soda/powder
1 tsp salt
1/4 cup sugar
just under 1/2 cup of butter
1 cup oats
Just over 1/2 cup milk. Add 1/2 cup plus 1 tbsp.

[Anonymous No.14364245]

It's not facetious, woke /late capitalism is mask off, flagrant power level.

[Anonymous No.14365418]

>>14357975
based homestead anon, I remember seeing that picture in another thread before.

[Anonymous No.14366777]

>>14361869
>>14361333
>>14361306
>>14361250
>>14361246
>>14361241
>responds to three of my posts and then samefags when I prove him retarded
Sad.

[Anonymous No.14367432]

>>14365418
sup friend!

[Anonymous No.14367649]

>>14357191
>it doesnt
true but realistically most people can get what they need for 90% of what they want to cook.

[Anonymous No.14367686]

>>14367649
as long as they dont eat asian
or indian
or middle eastern
or european outside italian/french
or south american
hell or even mexican

[Anonymous No.14367696]

>>14367686
wallyworld can cover you pretty good for some of those. if you live in a reasonable sized city you should have at least an OK global market of some kind. where you can get specialty items.

[Anonymous No.14368159]

>>14347866
Incompetent vegans rely on highly processed meat alternatives to meet their dietary protein requirements. Such alternatives are effectively slop. Embracing it through ironic branding is a cope on their part.

[Anonymous No.14368317]

imagine paying a 1000% markup on a $0.10 cup of oats