/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.14197596]

What's the most drunk you've been? That is if you can remember it or being told.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrV1envpCoo

[Anonymous No.14197615]

It was my 22nd birthday party
I didn't go blackout or anything, but my inhibitions were definitely relaxed
Everyone I talked to later just said they were surprised to see me so happy and relaxed because I'm usually so sullen and neurotic
My words, not theirs, but that's what they meant

[Anonymous No.14197621]

>>14197596
>be me
>be 14
>live in an apartment building
>parents are working
>drink half bottle of rum
>get out, half naked
>be caught by neighbours jerking off in the staircases of the building
>don't remember a thing

>be me again
>be 25
>drink in the beach with my friends and gf
>its my birthday party really
>drink beer, vodka and whiskey like is no tomorrow
>some of my retarded friends bring weed
>why not? YOLO
>pass out, and hit the wooden deck with my skull
>the next day
>worst headache of my life

[Anonymous No.14197627]

>get a splinter under thumbnail at work
>go to bar
>drink tequila to alleviate pain
>7 shots and a beer in 45 min before last call
>woke up half way home in a pile of wet leaves in a stranger's yard
>two college kids try to give me a ride home
>no I'll walk

[Anonymous No.14197639]

>>14197596
I'm a functioning alcoholic so take it for what it's worth. A couple stories:

Early on in my drinking career I went into the bathroom, sat down, blacked out, went back out into the party, inappropriately touched my buddy's girlfriend and partied for 2-3 hours, went back into the bathroom, sat down, and came to. I though I'd been at the party for 45 minutes when I called my mom to pick me up and found out the next day I'd been there for 6 hours.

In college I disappeared on all of my buddies and they found me at a friend's house passed out on their front porch.

At a bachelor party in Nashville I fell through a table while dancing, screamed to my friends to tell the owners I'd pay them, broke off into a full run back to the condo, started a fight with some guys, at some point pissed myself some, and ended up back at the rental hours later, threw my boots in the yard, screamed "THE SONS OF BITCHES TOOK MY SHOES" and fell asleep in the bachelor's bed.

I'm sure I have more.

[Anonymous No.14197730]

i was like 17 and didnt really know how to handle alcohol so i drank like half a bottle of cheap whiskey in like idk 20 mins? then as we were walking to the bus stop o get weed it hit me all at once, started puking and yelling on the bus, dont remember much of what happened after. my friends dragged me around the city to get weed and they filmed me hugging a trashcan harrassing random people who walked by. the day after was hell, since then ive always been careful w alcohol

[Anonymous No.14197775]

>>14197596
>around 23
>buddy and I are taking swigs out of a bottle of cheap whisky
>wake up in the morning with no recollection of the previous night
>awful hangover, still kinda drunk
>discover puke in the doorframe of the bathroom
>realize I have to be at work in 15 minutes
>quickly get dressed and go outside
>handprints all over my car
>drive to work
>do drunk cashiering until I sobered up
>nobody knew

[Anonymous No.14197778]

>>14197596
Drank an entire bottle of amaretto
How the fuck did I chug what's basically diluted almond extract without projectile vomiting is beyond me

[Anonymous No.14197784]

I drink everyday my main problem is I sleepwalk and piss all over the place Ive been doing it for years its horrible. Basically sometimes I wake up in the middle of it or other times I wake up and just see what I did the night before. Today I woke up to realize I pissed on the rug in front of the Television in bedroom. Two days ago I woke up to realize I pissed on my safe I have in the corner of my room. It's a rough life.

[Anonymous No.14197790]

>>14197621
>In the beach with friends
>Piss drunk
>Friend who doesn't know how to swim decides to go way into the ocean in a beach with no lifeguards while everyone else laughs and cheer on him
I still get fucking ptsd from it

[Anonymous No.14197791]

>>14197784
holy shit anon, this is not even funny.

Get some help, man.

[Anonymous No.14197794]

I drove to Austin, Texas on memorial day weekend by myself, took some Xanax, and day drank at the bars for 3-4 hours. This was like 12pm. Made a couple friends, then got progressively drunker because I forgot I took xanax. Then I completely blacked out. I woke up at 8pm in my hotel room with no memory of how I got there, puked, looked at my phone to multiple calls to Uber's customer service (???), calls to my friends, and a half eaten full pizza on the other bed.

I don't take xanax anymore.

[Anonymous No.14197812]

>>14197596
Year after finishing high school, some friends of mine decided to have a reunion.
Drank a lot of vodka, polished it with a lot of beer.
Kind of remember episodes of me auto-piloting back home.
Next day walking down the street with a slight headache. Two cuties call me by my name and giggle flirtingly while passing by me.
Can't fucking remember them, why they know me and what the fuck we did, if anything.

Another time. Corporate decided that a nice trip to a fishing grounds with BBQ would be cool. Drink to much, catch some fish, fall in lake(fucking killed my phone) get some clothes loaned by a collegue who was prepared for this and took spare, get even more drunk.
Silently puke into my rucksack(thank god swissgear are waterproof and unkillable) while riding the corporate bus back to the city, ride in the underground with it. Come home and wash it.

Fun times.

[Anonymous No.14197823]

>>14197784
You're just marking your territory. It's natural.

[Anonymous No.14197883]

>>14197790
Did he die?

[Anonymous No.14197917]

i chugged 24 ounces of tequila then ate a bag of pork rinds and 3 tomatoes and vomit painted the wall

[Anonymous No.14197956]

Was on this bar. Bought a dozen of some weird shots, split them between me and the waiter and drank them in a few minutes.
Later some black girl was sitting on my lab, tonguekissed her and bought her beers I didnt realize she was for sale ( I might chugged mushrooms, cant remember).

[Anonymous No.14197968]

>>14197596
>friends bachelor party in a private party room of a low-tier casino bar
>pretty tame, some cheap porn running on a TV as a stripper was too expensive
>just guys drinking and BSing
>started night with beer
>sometime switched over to bourbon
>waitress kept them coming, lost track
>woke up about 11AM in a recliner in a house I'd only been to once before, of one of the groomsmen
>no memory of what happened
>apparently when blind drunk I'm the greatest stand up comedian that's ever lived.

[Anonymous No.14198003]

>>14197968
>pretty tame, some cheap porn running on a TV
uuuh that sounds awkward as fuck lol

[Anonymous No.14198017]

Over married friends house for wifes bday, smoked bunch of hash beforehand, show up and find out it was a family thing with kids and shit.
I start out okay but the 'tism kicked in as I dont like being near strangers.
I start chugging high abv beers on empty stomach.
Have vague memories of passing out in chair, puking in their toilet at one point, and then waking up on their sofa at 4am.
Drove home next day and had awful hangover puking up what felt, looked, and smelled like literal shit.

[Anonymous No.14198027]

>>14198017
>I start out okay but the 'tism kicked in as I dont like being near strangers.
Feel you.
>>14198017
>Have vague memories of passing out in chair, puking in their toilet at one point, and then waking up on their sofa at 4am.
Uh...
>>14198017
>I start chugging high abv beers on empty stomach.
Bruh... train your liver. And eat something before drinking. Fuck if I know actual science, but it helps.

>>14197812
>Silently puke into my rucksack(thank god swissgear are waterproof and unkillable) while riding the corporate bus back to the city
You think no one noticed it?

[Anonymous No.14198033]

>>14198017
Fuckin BASED!

[Anonymous No.14198039]

>>14198027
Rookie mistake I know. Usually good about eating and drinking but being around all those people I couldnt think clearly and just wanted to get some beer in me to unwind, didnt realize they were like 9%.
Thankfully we all knew eachother well enough and have had to cover for one another many times before for drunk shenanigans but this one was bad for me.

[Anonymous No.14198046]

>>14197883
i went after him and dragge him back, shoukd have beaten him up right there

[Anonymous No.14198199]

>>14197596
I pretty much can't go out without getting blackout drunk. Most times I just wake up in my bed with a headache, a few times I didn't.
>Woke up in jail cell
Apparently I crashed my car. Don't remember it
>Woke up in ambulance
Apparently I passed out walking home alone from the bar and someone called the fucking paramedics
>Wake up on drive way, its daylight
Keys in had, I had puked and shit myself
>Wake up in some random house in a different town
Happened more than once
>Wake up in my own bed
Obviously still rolling on X, I have lost my phone and mp3 player (only went out to go to the shops). Remember nothing.

[Anonymous No.14198217]

>>14198199
lol based

[Anonymous No.14198246]

>>14197596
Last week, i remember i had a lot of beers, woke up the day after, see a pool of beer on my laptop.

It's dead, of-course, i take it apart, everything where the power cord is connected is black.

Tries to dry it out, but only the fans come on at full speed.

Disconnect the battery so the fans would not run.

[Anonymous No.14198254]

>>14198246
20000 SEK in the trashbin or 2000$ or 2000€ .

[Anonymous No.14198273]

>>14197596
Here is a time my gf almost left me and I had to really take a second look at my life
>Been a heavy drinker for last couple of years
>Go extremely hard one night
>Pounding down vodka/rum with light splashes of mixers
>Finally go to bed but don't remember anything in the 3 hours leading up to laying down
>Wake up with the mightiest urge to piss
>Bladder feels like it's going to burst
>Absolutely wasted still
>Walk around to the other side of the bed
>Open my girlfriends drawer to her nightstand
>Proceed to fill that bitch with a gallon of piss
>She wakes up and starts freaking out asking me what I'm doing
>My only response: "I have to do this"
>Finally finish pissing, floor is soaked, I am soaked, drawer is fucked
>Wake up the next morning with no hangover but felt absolutely terrible over what I did
>gf was probably a milimeter away from leaving me in that moment
>Stayed because she knows I suffer from a lot of dumb shit and can't really use alternative methods to relax like she can because of my job

Since then I've toned the drinking down. Still drink almost every day but have cut back significantly and haven't had any memory blackouts in a very very long time.

[Anonymous No.14198287]

>>14198273
lol.

One time, an drunk uncle of mine took a shit in my mother's wardrobe.

[Anonymous No.14198385]

>>14197596
That would be my first ever time getting legitimately drunk.Already had a big night from drinking cola cans of pre-mixed shit. I then thought it would be a good idea (being in the drunken state that I was) to make a large cup of white wine disappear in literal seconds. Next thing I knew, I had regained consciousnesses on the lounge room floor with a bit of vomit. After eventually getting to bed, didn't get back up until 5pm the next day.

I have had the rare vomit since then, but I learned how to fucking pace myself after that.

[Anonymous No.14198388]

>>14197596
Gasparilla 2019. I rode with a mulatto friend and his Haitian drug dealer, ended up taking speed and drinking a handle of vodka. Woke up underneath a table a few miles from the festival.

[Anonymous No.14198398]

>>14198246
Did the same thing to my thinkpad but it's ok now

[Anonymous No.14198401]

i stopped acting like this by the time i was 22, what is wrong with you guys?

[Anonymous No.14198455]

>>14198273
Hahaha fuck. I lost.
Have lots of crazy blackout stories. The area of canada I live in really normalizes drinking to excess. I had no idea benders and blackouts were "bad" for most of my life.


I recall one in particular, ran into a girl from high school, we had a couple beer each then bought a huge bottle of wine. Thing looked like a small keg. Some promotional item. Drank the whole thing sitting on her stepdads girlfriends deck (forget the relation but we weren't really invited) chain smoked joints like cigarettes for hours. Apparently someone drove me to the local liquor store where I bought 300$ worth of alcohol. Do not remember it. Might have bareback fucked her or someone. Woke up with the liquor receipt and a 40 oz bottle of gin with maybe a sip missing. Laying on the carpeted floor of an empty house. Some rental property the company I worked for owned. Don't know how I got there . Interestingly the gin wasn't on the receipt

[Anonymous No.14198488]

I blackout a few times a week but this was one the most dangerous scenarios
>me and girlfriend break up
>start drinking immediately
>drive to New Orleans drunk
>find parking, start walking around from bar to bar
>go to strip club
>max out debit card
>switch to credit
>leave strip club
>go to some more bars
>meet homeless person
>buy a bottle of heaven hill to share with him
>he gets his buddy
>they start smoking crack
>I also smoke crack
>run out of crack, buy more crack
>smoke it all
>walk around all of New Orleans in the dead of night alone looking for my car
>lost as hell, walking through bad neighborhoods
>walk until it’s morning out
>ask someone driving if they can help me find my car
>took us 30 minutes to find it
>start driving home, passing out while driving
>pull over to McDonald’s
>sleep for 5 hours
>drive back home

[Anonymous No.14198501]

>>14198488
That sounds like a pretty cool night actually

[Anonymous No.14198507]

>>14198488
still hook on crack?

[Anonymous No.14198513]

>>14198507
Nope first time I did it. It wasn’t that great

[Anonymous No.14198517]

Puked up a bottle of wine outside. Thought I needed some air. Turns out I needed to puke.
Another time tripped down some stairs. Caught myself but knocked some pictures off the wall.
Its kind of funny how some people get nervous about drunk people as if they're about to explode or something.

[Anonymous No.14198532]

>>14198517
>Its kind of funny how some people get nervous about drunk people as if they're about to explode or something
Honestly I have noticed people that get nervous are aware of the surroundings. I've been drunk in some people's homes that were clearly not decorated with any sort of stability in mind. Tons of knicknacks all over the place and mirrors/pictures daintily placed around the room where even walking too hard would knock something down or over. Get drunk enough at home and you'll start to completely shift how you decorate or organize your shit.

[Anonymous No.14198537]

>on vacation in Spain
>me and my buddies decide to get wasted and hit some clubs
>drink several bottles of vodka on the beach
>go to town and stop for some shots
>last thing I remember is drinking some weird mixed flaming shot

>wake up laying on a bus stop bench in the middle of nowhere
>sun is already coming up
>my wallet is gone
>keycard from my hotel room is gone
>my phone is gone
>I have a baggie of weed in my pocket wtf
>from the bust stop instructions I decipher I am a few miles from town
>start walking alongside the road hitchhiking
>eventually a car stops
>it's two russian guys both driver and his buddy are drunk
>they take me to my hotel
>my friends said they thought I was dead
>the "weed" turned out to be oregano

to this day I have no idea what happened
my friends had my wallet and phone, told me I left them on the table at a bar when I went to take a piss only to disappear

[Anonymous No.14198541]

>>14197596
Jesus Christ there's too many to name, I'll try and recall some of the best ones though

>be in university, member of a fraternity
>annual 80s themed rollerblading date event
>start by pounding a pint each of vodka and rum
>black out of course (rest of night is pieced together
>take acid
>proceed to fuck my shit up trying to skate, talking Hanna-Barbera style pratfalls and leg spins every time I try to get up for like 40 minutes - probably give myself multiple concussions
>aggressively try to make out with/grope other guys' dates, to varying degrees of success
>taken to McDonalds and buy 30 mcdoubles, throwing them at cars and people on the way home
>wake up on couch the next day, try to get up and realize every inch of my body is bruised to shit, fall onto floor and lay there for another hour or so

>still in school
>drink a handle of sambuca and railing lines of blow all night
>have contest jumping (or falling) off roof of the house and rolling down the hill in the front yard
>puke on myself, the house, the yard, etc.
>woke up on porch next day, pissed myself

To be continued...

[Anonymous No.14198556]

Oh God, I have pissed on many unusual thing's.

In my fraternities Piano, an antique a armchair, the mailbox of another fraternity. I have been found black out drunk in several occasions.

[Anonymous No.14198557]

>>14198537
You asked some random guy for drugs. He told you he'll get you some. You told your friends you found someone who wants to sell you drugs. You took some money with you but you left your valuables with your friends so they would not get stolen in case you get robbed. The guy gave you fake drugs and took your money. Without your phone you weren't able to get back to your friends so you hat some more drinks somewhere else and you passed out.

[Anonymous No.14198560]

>>14198541
Cont'd

>at Lyrnyd Skynyrd concert
>drank most of a bottle of bourbon on way up
>black out of course
>proceed to be all around asshole, try and fight everyone I see, snatching joints from random concertgoers, slapping random milf asses, etc.
>deservedly get my ass beat by like 4 or 5 different sets of people
>friend and friend's dad who drove finally rope into the car
>profusely apologize the next day to buddy's dad
>'maybe just go easy on the whiskey a little bit next time'

>at favorite dive
>get challenged to pushup contest
>immediately Hulk Hogan my shirt off, start pumping out pushups on dirty barroom floor
>swagger over to bar, grab bottle of hot sauce and start chugging it
>bartender rightfully cuts me off, tells me she'll give me a water
>I'LL HAVE NOTHING THEN!
>proceed to stumble around chugging random drinks off the bar until I'm dragged out

Thankfully I don't drink as much anymore

[Anonymous No.14198563]

>>14198532
They should say they don't want drunks around their delicate stuff out loud instead of bottling up the nervousness.

[Anonymous No.14198565]

>>14198455
What part are you from? I'm living in Whitehorse, and this town is basically all about drinking. I mean, fuck, they even have a week long festival to get you out of your house (to avoid cabin fever) and drink.

[Anonymous No.14198576]

>>14198273
>"I have to do this"
fucking lmao

[Anonymous No.14198577]

All in one night
>Boozing vodka and beer with some friends in the city
>Right after taking lsd
>Even the dealer thought it was a bad idea
>Got hit by a car(lightly) and didn´t remember it
>Went for a full hour throwing myself on random cars(parked)
>Layed myself on top of a bar table and began writing bizarre poetry to future gf(strangers were using the table and didn´t know wtf to do with me)
>Bust my knuckles punching a store´s blinders while laughing maniacally(future gf apparently said my poetry was subpar)
>Went to the beach
>Passed out and my drunk asshole best friend drew a swastika on my forehead
>When I woke up at 5 am decided to buy bread on my way home
>no idea I had the swastika
>The baker lady sold me the bread with a face of utter shock and horror
>A coworker of her´s was containing the laughter
>Got home
>Still sleepy pass out on the stairs
Next morning I felt like I ran a fucking marathon but not much pain

[Anonymous No.14198581]

>>14198455
>interestingly the gin wasn't on the receipt
I love these from random things from drunk stories

[Anonymous No.14198587]

>>14198557
but my friends didnt know anything about the "weed" anon

[Anonymous No.14198593]

>>14198587
So you left your stuff with them without telling them.

[Anonymous No.14198602]

>>14198488
Here’s another one that’s fun
>times are hard, living at a motel
>bar is within walking distance
>already drunk, been drinking all day
>go to bar, drink a pitcher
>start drinking another beer
>overheard bartender talking about operating systems
>I sperg out and start yelling about Windows XP
>we argue about Windows XP for a good 15 minutes
>I’m being aggressive at this point and threatening the bartender
>have to be dragged out of the bar, throwing punches while I’m being dragged
>walk back to motel and try to jack off to hentai for like 2 hours
>can’t because I’m too drunk
>wake up completely naked and on the foor using a blanket as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket

[Anonymous No.14198603]

>>14197621
>>14197639
>>14197730
>>14197784
>>14197794
>>14197812
>>14197968
>>14198017
>>14198199
>>14198273
>>14198455
>>14198488
>>14198537
>>14198577
top tier lads, it makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one with some dumbfuck notches under the belt

[Anonymous No.14198607]

fake and gay

[Anonymous No.14198610]

>>14198602
>getting angry to the point of physical violence over Windows XP

[Anonymous No.14198613]

>>14198560
so this is whats like to live life in autopilot

[Anonymous No.14198623]

>>14198593
maybe but how did I end up sever miles from town?
shit makes no sense

[Anonymous No.14198635]

>>14198613
It's been quite humbling actually, for instance my experiences have taught me that if I'm being hit in the face at any particular moment in time then it is most likely at least a majority of my fault.

[Anonymous No.14198644]

>>14198199
you just a dumb ass bro

[Anonymous No.14198646]

when i decided to share a crack pipe with a bum down at the homeless shelter

[Anonymous No.14198651]

>>14198602
holy anon, I'm dying.

[Anonymous No.14198654]

>>14198623
You went with that guy who sold you fake drugs

[Anonymous No.14198657]

>>14198602
>walk back to motel and try to jack off to hentai for like 2 hours
>can’t because I’m too drunk

I surprisingly know this feel

[Anonymous No.14198666]

>>14198654
so the weed dealer drove me out of town to sell me drugs only to realise I have no money so he gave me a bag or oregano so I would stop bothering him and left me on a bus stop?

honestly? that's what might've happened idk

[Anonymous No.14198672]

>>14197596
>be me
>at home by myself
>roomate won't be back until tomorrow evening
>start drinking gin & tonics at 9
>cut to 12
>drinking straight shots of gin
>like 4/5 shot every hour
>talking with babe on FB
>blackout
>come to while vomiting in the kitchen
>puke everywhere
>crawl to bathroom in agony
>rinse out mouth
>crawl to bed
>think "at least room mate will be home later and i wont have to clean up until morning..."
>hear front door lock click
>fuck they're back early
>doesn't freak out at mess somehow
>pass-out
>wake up in hangover pain
>after hours of chugging gatorade i explain to roomate what happened and apologize
>"oh, i didn't know what the fuck happened, glad you're ok anon."

I don't know why I drank that much either other than boredom. I don't drink gin anymore

[Anonymous No.14198677]

How many times have you guys ordered pizza and passed out cold before it got there?
4 times that I remember

[Anonymous No.14198689]

>>14197596
According to the hospital, a BAC of 0.361 combined with concurrent dose of 1.2g of diphenhydramine and 68mg of buprenorphine
Don't try to an hero with pills and liquor, it's not fast enough to die before someone finds you

[Anonymous No.14198696]

I legit enjoy being drunk, so I avoid crashing my brain on booze. Doesn't mean it doesn't happen (it actually happens the whole the time) but still.

I think it was when I won this uni drunk contest (they gave me a medal), I remember a bit after I win it a pal asking if everything is ok with me and I replying that i'm fine, then the A bomb explodes in my head and I wake up in my bed all pissed, literally.

[Anonymous No.14198700]

>>14198689
Just lock yourself in your room then?

[Anonymous No.14198709]

>>14198677
only once
it was my very favourite pizza place tho so I went there the next day and paid up
said I must've just dozed off whoops
they said the gave the pizza to a homeless guy

that day I was a man of charity

[Anonymous No.14198720]

>>14198700
i lived with my gf at the time so that shit didn't fly

[Anonymous No.14198725]

>>14198003
Glad I'm not the only one who wtf'd when reading that

[Anonymous No.14198759]

>3rd year of college
>end of fall semester
>3 study days before finals
>buy 2 handles right after last class
>go back to apartment, drink, pass out on couch
>wake up on first day of finals with two empty handles
>roommates say I did nothing except drink and sleep for the last 3 days
>panic study for each final over the course of the next few days
>study so much I forget to drink water
>finish my last final and go to the bathroom
>piss is this awful brown color, smells putrid, and burns to hell
>almost looks like red eye gravy
>go to the doctor
>liver and kidneys are completely fucked

[Anonymous No.14198763]

>>14198689
I actually wondered about thins
how much benzos and booze does it take to kill you?
like not dying in pain from liver poisoning but drifting to sleep in peace

[Anonymous No.14198783]

>uber into city after already drank half liter of whiskey
>drink a shitload more at a video game bar and stomping faggots at smash bro
>black out and come back to a drug den
>wtf how am I here now
>phone is MIA
>decide to go to dance club
>dance my dick off until kicked out for being too drunk
>make friends with randos on my way out
>"hey I know where the party is"
>go to college dorm street and find random party
>too drunk to make conversation and sausage fest
>decide to go home
>fuck no phone
>go to a hotel and ask them to call me a cab
>cab comes, my credit cards don't work cuz phone is not near where my card is being used
>sleep behind a bush in 20°F
>walk 5 hours home the next day with the worst hangover I've ever had
I tracked my phone down the next day and bought the dude some Popeyes chicken for "finding" it

[Anonymous No.14198802]

>get really drunk
>text horrible shit to 10/10 girlfriend
>sold her my share of the mortgage, kicked out
I'm alone and I'll never get someone as beautiful and perfect as her, only fat girls

[Anonymous No.14198816]

>>14198802
Based.

[Anonymous No.14198825]

>>14197784
I was going to post if anyone else has this problem. you're not alone brother. I came a cunt hair away from pissing on my work laptop now i'm taking a break

[Anonymous No.14198830]

>study abroad time in glorious nipland
>drinking age there is a year lower than it is back in the States
>been drunk before at uni parties, never been to a bar though
>dorm friend's birthday
>invites us all out to an all-you-can-eat buffet
>turns out there's an all-you-can-drink option too which everyone buys
>want to get the maximum value for my money
>start with a beer
>definitely not getting drunk enough
>start playing a dice game with sake shots
>lose a lot
>order a warm glass of plum wine
>for some reason, this fucks me up more than everything I'd had previously
>argue with a Japanese guy over how Girlish Number is better than Shirobako in broken Nip
>win a french-fry eating contest as we try to dispose of the food
>can barely make it to the bathroom afterwards to throw up
>end up face down at the table until the buffet kicks us out for the night
>on the way back to the dorms, tap-dance to eurobeat the whole way
>also stop by 7-11 and buy out their stock of frozen pizzas

I think it'd actually be more fun if I'd blacked out, but unfortunately I can remember every stupid decision I made that night and exactly how I rationalized them to myself as good ideas at the time.

[Anonymous No.14198845]

>be me
>be 19
>vibing with my friend in a call
>decide to sneak alot of alcohol, more than ever had.
>usually my parents let me drink occasionally anyways
>this time, shit was fucked
>literally cant walk
>gta levels of stumbling
>get the great idea, to text a girl i like
>this girl has known i liked her for a while, half ass declines advances yadda yadda
>being literally throw up drunk, send every emotion i feel
>still in the call with my friend, but we're both corpses
>the number of times i sent "i love you [girls name] should be a crime
>eventually, she blocked me and sends her ex, who she told me molested her, to tell me im being creepy
>go off on him before calling him a "greasy fuck"
>block him
>spend the next hour throwing up spiced rum like im fucking dying

[Anonymous No.14198850]

>>14198816
Fat girls are disgusting, their vaginas smell disgusting, and I want to die

[Anonymous No.14198862]

>>14198845
>but we're both corpses

[Anonymous No.14198910]

I hadn't eaten anything for breakfast and just got home from work, and for some reason I thought Vodka and Mt. Dew High Voltage while playing Dark Souls and streaming it would be a great idea.

I woke up on my bathroom floor covered in and surrounded by blue and orange vomit, and I still hadn't beaten Ornstein and Smough.

[Anonymous No.14198938]

>decide to have a rum and coke while home alone
>drink so many rum and cokes
>decide to browse facebook
>find a girl from high school who I alway had a crush on
>beyond blackout now
>decide to message her best friend (we were kinda friends) to tell her how much in love am I with her friend
>describe explicit sexual fantasies

>woke up next morning with the worst hangover of my life
>the friend of my crush literally called to leave her alone forever
>looked through the messages I sent
>one of them said "I'd like to rape that little ass of hers"

[ATLien !!60RF7p3/Emf No.14198951]

>go to club
>drink
>dance
>meet girl and hit it off.
>she buys ME a drink.
>leave my drink unattended and go piss.
>come back and chug the rest of it.
>she wants to go to another place.
>black tf out.
>wake up at home the next morning.
>my phone, the 20 dollar bill i had, and the bag of blow in my pocket were gone.
>miraculously my identification was still on me.
>how tf did i get home???

[Anonymous No.14198953]

>>14198938
ugh men are disgusting

[Anonymous No.14198982]

>>14198951
you paid the cab driver 20 to take you home?
also you did the blow and lost your phone
you managed to keep your ID

[Anonymous No.14199001]

>>14198666
No. He gave you the fake drugs somewhere and you started walking on your own.

[ATLien !!60RF7p3/Emf No.14199012]

>>14198982
seems plausible, but i ran in to the chick later and she said that after the first bar i stumbled off, not to be seen again until i ran into her later.

[Anonymous No.14199017]

>>14199001
dude i like your thinking but just no
I know myself drunk, I would be distracted by every single thing in my vicinity
I would not just trek several miles by an empty road

[Anonymous No.14199021]

Couple weeks ago I took a couple Xanax, mowed the lawns then fell asleep. Wife woke me up to go have a couple beers at some friends at like 3pm, I was blacked out after like two beers cause of the Xanax, smoked a pack of cigarettes and I don't smoke, did a gram of blow and I don't do blow, generally acted like an asshole and walked like an hour home.

[Anonymous No.14199024]

>>14198938
You are a fucking legend bro. Memorize that shit and tell it to her directly at the reunion.

[Anonymous No.14199028]

Guy in OP's video is speaking Armenian. He's basically saying "who the fuck is this guy? get the hell out of my way"

[Anonymous No.14199032]

>>14198951
I did this but instead of blow I had my dick deep into a vagina. This has happened a couple dozen times.

[Anonymous No.14199048]

>Some university party during my first year
>x glasses of wine for everyone
>Stay until the official part is over and go through the leftover wine with some friends and random people
>Afterparty at a nearby club
>All shots are a few dollars
>Decide the most cost-efficient approach is to of course drink the strongest thing they have
>"Is absinthe this cheap too?"
>"Yes"
>Start pounding shots
>Wake up in jail
I was shitting bricks at first but turns out the cops just saw me hugging a lamp post and decided to check if I was capable of making it home. They figured I wasn't and picked me up to have me sleep it off.

Ruined a suit and lost my glasses. Never had a hangover last more than a day but that time I was hung-over for at least two.

[ATLien !!60RF7p3/Emf No.14199055]

>>14199032
you lost your dick???

[Anonymous No.14199057]

>>14197968
Who the fuck watches porn with the bros?

[ATLien !!60RF7p3/Emf No.14199062]

>>14199057
gayfers

[Anonymous No.14199074]

>>14199048
but why did you end up in jail?

[Anonymous No.14199078]

>>14199048
>"Is absinthe this cheap too?"
>"Yes"
holy fuck my sides

[Anonymous No.14199083]

>>14199074
The cops here will pick you up and throw you into the so-called drunk tank if you're too shitfaced out in public and clearly incapable of making it home without falling asleep in a ditch somewhere. For your own safety. You then get out in the morning and they give you your shit back after confiscating it for the night, phone and whatnot. It's not a criminal record thing but just something to keep you from dying accidentally.

[Anonymous No.14199085]

Not me but I was there
>My friend is taking antibiotics
>he is a heavy drinker like me
>do a bar tour around town
>we both get piss drunk
>asks me if I know someone who can get us weed at 3 am
>I find someone, but he´s like 10 miles away
>``I don´t give a shit´´
>we both go to his car, I ride shotgun
>he´s S swirling in the highway obviously drunk as fuck
>no cops, we manage to get to the guy´s place and score the weed
>before we took the ride back we drank rum with the guy
>The problem is we both almost blacked out, but my buddy insisted on driving back home
>we did
>Not without driving 8 miles off the rout into a completely different town
>did I mention since we left the dealers apartment his car was missing a wheel?
>he drove both of us 8 miles into whatevertown whithout a wheel
>Parked the car and we both passed out
>Cops came and gave him a DUI
>I still have no idea how we avoided crashing without a wheel for 8 miles

[Anonymous No.14199092]

>>14198763
I also wonder about this.

[Anonymous No.14199101]

>>14198763
Alot
I used to take anywhere from 1-30 2mg Xanax a day, and I would drink alot of whiskey often. This went on for like 9 months and I woke up in vomit once.
Now opiates is another story, a month ago I was drunk, then did a tiny bump of fent. Woke up in the amberlamps.

[Anonymous No.14199106]

>just got out of basic training and AIT
>buddy invites me over to his house
>we make St Germain mixed drinks and start pounding PBR
>hit a bong
>black out
>apparently was ranting about Enya and how I’m afraid I might be a sociopath
>pissed on the floor of his bathroom and laughed about it
>drove home right after doing that
>woke up in my bed

[Anonymous No.14199108]

>>14198565
I'm out east. Lived up north a bit as a kid tho, so I understand. People don't realise just how much booze canadians go through. There is literally nothing else to do sometimes, especially past the tree line.

[Anonymous No.14199149]

>>14198488
I love this anon. Good work. How far outside of NOLA were you? You must be one tough back water fuck lol

[Anonymous No.14199155]

>>14199149
I lived about 3 hours away at the time

[Anonymous No.14199162]

>>14198603
Gin 40 guy here. I've got lots. I'm honestly shocked I'm still alive and have never had a lawyer or pregnant woman knock on my door telling me I did something in the past that I don't remember. I've calmed down a lot now that I'm older but I still once in a while get hammered and tell some sjw/left wing "friend" how I really feel (politically) it's basically unacceptable to not be a flaming liberal these days so usually I end up blocked.

One night after drinking a quart of 45% rum I got a text from some girl I barely knew. Some single mom type. Looked at her fb profile...rainbow flags and full blown metoo shit and white privilege etc. Proceeded to let loose the floodgates of how natives are basically "second nation" and how we don't owe them anything. Shared some documentaries about Africa and the middle east too. Pretty sure she tried to get me fired but my boss doesn't trust women so it never went anywhere.

[Anonymous No.14199163]

>>14199017
nigga your replys to that anon prove that you are exactly the type of retard who would hop in the car with a random drug dealer to go "just up the road" to get some pot...

[Anonymous No.14199175]

>>14199155
yea so... backwater bumfuck LA. I suppose I'd drive into The Big Easy and let loose in the same situation.

[Anonymous No.14199211]

>>14199162
based boss

[Anonymous No.14199218]

>>14197596

I was 22 and it my lazy ass had dragged myself through a few uneventful years of community college to big boy college. I’d partied a little beforehand, but no full on houseparties. Until the time it happened.

My school is only technically dry. Most parties that don’t happen in the dorms happen either in another college town nearby, or houses owned by the college in the neighborhood.

It was called ‘The Football House’ because, of course, football players lived there. My ass had somehow ingratiated myself with them, and I was welcomed to the fray. I was there from 9ish to 12ish, but don’t remember exactly what happened after 11 or so.

I drank probably three tall beers, some Henessy, and a good amount of rotgut vodka mixed with lemon lime Gatorade. I was told second hand that I baited the cops with a beer before running back to the dorms.

Once in the dorms, I went to take a shit or something, and cracked my head open on the toilet. I bled copiously and probably got a concussion. I woke up caked in my own blood. Blood trailing the floor, blood on the white sheets, blood on the sink, blood on the counters. And I had lost my keys.

I had to afterwords contact my dad to bring the spare pair. Being a former frat boy, he understood. I got yelled at, but not dragged back outta there.

I have not gotten that shitfaced again. Though a time or two rival it.

[Anonymous No.14199242]

>>14199175
Mississippi actually, not like it’s any better

[Anonymous No.14199264]

>>14199057
>he doesn't have masturbation sessions with the boys

[Anonymous No.14199273]

>>14197596
I drank 10 Kentucky 75's (champagne, Jim Beam, lemon juice) in an hour and a half and then got sexually assaulted by me ex girlfriend. Lot of detective work to piece back together what happened after that, it was horrible.

Most fucked up I've been was 7 cocktails, 8 phenibut, a little bit of acid, a couple one-hitters of Marijuana, and half a modafnil. I remember all of it, but the next day I almost shit my pants on the bus home and I felt sick for a week. The modafnil was canceling out the phenibut, so I kept taking more.

[Anonymous No.14199275]

>>14199264
>he isn't gay and enjoys watching the boys jizz all over themselves

[Anonymous No.14199277]

>>14198273
>"I have to do this"

[Anonymous No.14199282]

>>14199264
That's super gay
mutual masturbation is only for engaging in with cute girls

[Anonymous No.14199459]

>>14197596
started out drinking draft beer
ended up drinking rot gut rum and coke
crashed my gf's 'passion party'
woke up with $20 worth of half eaten jack in the box tacos spread out on my coffee table. i don't know how i got home.

[Anonymous No.14199462]

>>14199459
What the fuck is a 'passion party'?

[Anonymous No.14199491]

>>14198517
Well, they are. It doesn't take much for them to start raging.

[Anonymous No.14199513]

>>14199462
like a tupperware party. substitute adult toys for tupperware.

[Anonymous No.14199519]

>>14199513
That's pretty gay...

[Anonymous No.14199521]

>>14199519
yes. yes, you are.

[Anonymous No.14199529]

>>14199521

[Anonymous No.14199584]

>>14197596
>be me
>19 year old university student
>go out with buddies
>friend hands out MDMA during pre-drinking
>get fucked on spirits and beer
>have a geniunely nice time at the night club
>some rich kids get me to snort ADD medicine in the smoking area
>still very drunk
>night club closes
>everyone is still wide-eyed on MDMA
>two of my buddies crash into a lamp post riding the same bicycle
>continue the party in my dorm

Downing a full glass of gin is the last thing I remember doing that night. Apparently I started relentlessly playing Rome: Total War. I went outside and pissed over my roommates bicycle, wrecked my house key and woke up the next morning with no idea how I got in. Turns out my friends had accidentally taken my wallet and phone home with them.

[Anonymous No.14199603]

I think I was 20 at my m8s house and we started off the night with around 6-8 beers, then we broke out a big ass bottle of tequila and took like 10 shots. Only time in my entire life I've blacked out from drinking.

[Anonymous No.14199614]

Crawled home once and my neighbour opened my door and led to me to my couch where I passed out.

What did I think of pic related lads?

[Anonymous No.14199616]

I just drank one 7% over an hour
This is the most drunk I've ever been

[Anonymous No.14199641]

>>14199616
careful man you might OD

[Anonymous No.14199655]

>>14199641
Should I livestream?

[Anonymous No.14199668]

Downed an entire bottle of Jameson and ended up showing my dick to my gf's mom

[Anonymous No.14199703]

>>14199211
Haha yeah hes alright.

[Anonymous No.14199712]

>>14199668
kek

my list is infinite

i have transcended shame

[Anonymous No.14199714]

I fell down the stairs halfway and drug myself to the carpet to pass out. Still have nerve damage in my left knee that makes it a bit numb to the touch.

Then there was the time before that where I passed out at a family gathering and had to be drug home. Definitely the most embarassing.

[Anonymous No.14199718]

>>14199513
We call those phantasia parties here.

It's weird to think about. Like imagine 10 straight dudes who work construction together, hanging out one evening selling each other flashlights and lubes.lol
Women are so fucked

[Anonymous No.14199719]

>>14199162
dont be a racist cunt, faggot

[Anonymous No.14199748]

>>14198046
Based livesaver anon. He probably still thinks about you saving him.

[Anonymous No.14199842]

>>14199719
I'm really not racist though. I just like reality. I find the constant virtue signaling to be really tiresome, and most people only talk about how much they love a certain minority to make themselves look good and score brownie points with the majority of people they associate with. Just because some truths "aren't nice" doesn't mean we should ignore them.
If someone told me I'm a retard when I drink I would agree, not be offended. So why do people get upset when you point out truths about other people? Oh cause they aren't white? Fuck out of here.

[Anonymous No.14199850]

>>14199842
Racist POS hang yourself.

[Anonymous No.14199867]

>>14199850
Not him but you are clearly butthurt. Maybe reddit would be more of your taste?
And don't come with that "muh 2016 muh pol" bullshit.

[Anonymous No.14199913]

>>14199867
Probably just a troll lol. But yeah maybe a redditor