/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.14191397]

What should I say /ck/?

[Anonymous No.14191408]

That you make the best pube bread on this side of town

[Anonymous No.14191409]

you already said something though. you know have to wait for her to respond before you send another message, you fucking autist

[Anonymous No.14191413]

What is 13% and 50%?

[hamtaro No.14191415]

>>14191409
True, but what should I say when the time comes?

[Anonymous No.14191416]

Would you like to learn?

[Anonymous No.14191419]

dude do you watch callmecarson? he is a DANK memelord

[Anonymous No.14191420]

>>14191415
>implying she will respond after you spilled spaghetti

[Anonymous No.14191424]

>>14191413
This, but write "niggle me this, Katelyn" first

[Anonymous No.14191428]

>>14191397
Congratulations anon now she thinks you're a serial killer
Unless you're fat in which case she just thinks you're retarded

[hamtaro No.14191430]

>>14191419
>callmecarson
literally who?
>>14191420
this is why your here
>>14191428
idk she hasn't responded, should i ask her to pls respond?

[Anonymous No.14191439]

ask her what she thinks of joggers

[Anonymous No.14191440]

>>14191430
next time ask us before you send a retarded message. we're here to help anon

[Anonymous No.14191443]

>>14191430
Guys....


>>14191430

[Anonymous No.14191445]

>>14191443
now ask her if she wants to go to McDonalds sometime

[Anonymous No.14191454]

>>14191443
Ask her not to swear in your McPresence.

[Anonymous No.14191458]

>>14191445

[Anonymous No.14191460]

Some tranny flaunts that they can't cook and you thought he was one of us?
Wrong, enjoy your reddit pleb hole.

[Anonymous No.14191462]

>>14191454
that's pretty funny

>>14191458
oh god

[Anonymous No.14191464]

>>14191454

[Anonymous No.14191465]

>>14191443
>Let me take you out to McDonald's. My treat. Dollar menu only.

[Anonymous No.14191468]

>>14191458
If yes, ask her to meet you behind the dumpster. I actually did this with a girl before, that was the start of the most interesting day I’ve ever had

[Anonymous No.14191474]

>>14191464
Welp, you fucking ruined it, OP. What the actual fuck is wrong with you?

[Anonymous No.14191475]

>>14191443
Tell her you like the McRib, but you prefer pork bone-in. Then ask if she wants pork bone-in.

[Anonymous No.14191476]

>>14191464
double messaging is cringe, but let's see how this plays out

[Anonymous No.14191478]

>>14191464

[Anonymous No.14191479]

>>14191468
greentext?

[Anonymous No.14191481]

>>14191468
Yeah, some day.
>eating pizza crusts off the ground
>dancing around with a dirty old dog

[Anonymous No.14191484]

>>14191479
>be me
>meet a girl behind a dumpster
>what an interesting day

[Anonymous No.14191485]

>>14191484
based

[Anonymous No.14191491]

>>14191481
Drinking that damn swish again

[Anonymous No.14191492]

FUCK IM TOO AUTISCIT FOR THIS

[Anonymous No.14191497]

>>14191492
SAY YES AND PICK A MCDONALDS NEARBY AND GO MEET HER YOU STUPID FUCK

[Anonymous No.14191498]

>>14191492
just go you retard

[Anonymous No.14191501]

>>14191492
hell to the fuck yeah

[Anonymous No.14191508]

>>14191492
dont fuck this up op.

[Anonymous No.14191509]

>>14191492
tell her:
Yes. But don't forget your red and black facemask. And Hammer.

[Lol No.14191513]

>>14191509
That's really funny!

[Anonymous No.14191514]

>>14191509
Stop this. OP is so autistic he might actually do it. Let him be happy.

[hamtaro No.14191515]

>>14191497
>>14191498
>>14191501
but i just ate dinner... im not hungry....

[Anonymous No.14191519]

>>14191492
Tell her you need 20 minutes because you have to take a giant dump first

[Anonymous No.14191523]

>>14191515
bro just go get a mcflurry or something you retard the point isnt the mcdonalds its the girl

[Anonymous No.14191524]

>>14191515
It doesn't matter, just go meet her and get a goddamn McChicken and have a nice fucking time you retard.

[Anonymous No.14191525]

>>14191515
get a fucking frosty you autistic retard

[Anonymous No.14191527]

>>14191515
Of you don’t strike while the iron is hot, it won’t work

[Anonymous No.14191528]

Imagine actually gettinga match, getting the girl involved and then spilling your spaghetti when she's actually interested.

[Anonymous No.14191530]

>>14191515
stop being a fucking faggot. go meet her pussy

[Anonymous No.14191531]

>>14191515
Finger down your throat

[Anonymous No.14191538]

I guess this is why I go on 4chan....

[Anonymous No.14191542]

>>14191538
bro wtf is wrong with you

[Anonymous No.14191543]

>>14191538
lol

[Anonymous No.14191546]

>>14191538
ABSOLUTE MAD LAD

[Anonymous No.14191550]

>>14191538
Oh boy anon... Why not just go? You've made it this far

[Anonymous No.14191551]

>>14191538
hopefully she thinks its funny

[Anonymous No.14191555]

>>14191492
"no i wanna wait until a week from next tuesday... duh of course i wanna go now. do you wanna meet there or should i pick you up?"

[Anonymous No.14191556]

>>14191538
why would you pick that of all the posts to take for advice....

[Anonymous No.14191557]

>>14191551
this is a good sense of humor test, really.

[Anonymous No.14191558]

>>14191538

[hamtaro No.14191562]

>>14191557
high iq anon here, you autists take a lesson

[Anonymous No.14191564]

>>14191555
based trips

[Anonymous No.14191569]

>>14191538
OP, I originally just wanted to help you get a date and be happy but now I hope you die alone.

[Anonymous No.14191570]

>>14191528
I once matched a girl and we texted for two weeks. One day, she asked me what I wanted out of Tinder. I said “I think it would be nice to have a friend who I could meet up with after a long day of work, have pizza and beer, and then have sex”. Her reply was “you know, that actually sounds pretty nice to me. That’s basically why I’m here too”. I FREAKED OUT when I read that reply and immediately unmatched her. I started to regret that decision about 5 min later

[Anonymous No.14191573]

>>14191515
These are the types of excuses I have made my whole life because I was scared.

[Anonymous No.14191574]

>>14191570
What the fuck is wrong with you?

[Anonymous No.14191576]

>>14191555
>duh

[Anonymous No.14191580]

>>14191570
>I FREAKED OUT when I read that reply and immediately unmatched her.
This is what I usually do as soon as a girl shows interest in me because i get nervous and self conscious

[Anonymous No.14191585]

>>14191538
you dumb fuck
you couldve smashed her ass in the back of the mcdonalds while eating a mcchicken

[Anonymous No.14191588]

>>14191570
Autistic retard

[Anonymous No.14191590]

>talk on tindr / kik for a week+
>get around to trading pics
>they ghost you

[Anonymous No.14191592]

>>14191570
3/10 made me reply

[Anonymous No.14191595]

>>14191574
autism. i had a tinder account for 4 years, and even with the bots and rigging of the system, SOMEHOW I managed to get real girls to match me. over the course of those 4 years, I actually found 13 different girls who were actually willing to meet with me IRL. All of them were real and they actually would have met me. But everytime I either unmatched or came up with an excuse why I couldn’t meet.

[Anonymous No.14191597]

i'm 25 and i've never even held a girls hand

[hamtaro No.14191598]

guys she hasn't responded what do i do

[Anonymous No.14191600]

>>14191590
>"trading pics" after the age of 19

Do yuropoors really?

[Anonymous No.14191601]

>>14191464
>

[Anonymous No.14191602]

>>14191598
She's either laughing her ass off or ghosting you now. Give it a few.

[Anonymous No.14191605]

>>14191598
tell her the 14 words anon, it's a wildcard option but who knows.

[Anonymous No.14191607]

>>14191598
she's talking to at least 5 other guys right now, give her some time to respond

[Anonymous No.14191608]

>>14191597
I've only had a small amount of experiences that were solely from tinder, otherwise I'm an autistic khhv like you. Trust me, I don't feel more fulfilled and you shouldn't feel jealous of this kind of hookup culture.

[hamtaro No.14191609]

>>14191602
im going with ghosting.... next time ill say double quarter pounder....

>>14191605
maybe...

[Anonymous No.14191610]

>>14191598
reverse image search her pictures, find her social media accounts, look up her address via public records, and pick her up for your date

[Anonymous No.14191612]

>>14191598
>10:34PM
She's probably contemplating.

[Anonymous No.14191613]

>>14191598
She’s submitting an anonymous tip to the FBI. Remain calm as they apprehend you.

[Anonymous No.14191616]

>>14191609
Girls that don't laugh at jokes aren't fun to go out with. It's fine.

[Anonymous No.14191618]

>>14191597
man i lost my virginity a few years and i still feel like a awkward loser pos.

[Anonymous No.14191620]

>>14191616
this. nobody likes humorless cunts

[Anonymous No.14191624]

>>14191597
reddit.com/r/foreveralonedating.

I slept with every local girl I've ever talked to there.

[Anonymous No.14191626]

>>14191624
not interested in desperate women

[Anonymous No.14191627]

i hate you guys so much

[Anonymous No.14191629]

>>14191616
It wasn't a funny joke. She's right to ghost him, he sounds like a fucking lunatic with that message. He could have just accepted the offer and met up with her, but he decided to be a literal autistic retard.

[Anonymous No.14191635]

>>14191479
I can’t remember all the stupid shit we did that day but here’s what I remember what we did
>2013
>find girl on Kik thread on /b/
>apparently she was young so ghost her
>2018
>randomly start talking to her again
>apparently I lived near her
>since were both from 4chan we have similar humor
>joke how we’ll go on a fancy date to mcdicks
>”we should meet behind the dumpster lol”
>fuck it why not
> Saw Super Troopers 2
>went to park
>says she knows great places for me to murder her and hide the body
>find a hobo hideout under a bridge
>go back to the movies and see Truth or Dare
>she autistically hits her hear with her hand repetitively (apparently she later told me she just wanted to make out)
>tell her I’m gonna get a beer
>says to use her credit card since I drove all the way over here to see her
I’m thinking why the fuck would you give a total random stranger your credit card, especially if you met on a Mongolian basket weaving forum
>after the movies over, we go to Walmart to fuck around
>says we should buy a dog collar to walk her around the park
>joke about buying zip ties to tie her up
>”let’s do it”
>go to another park
>we tie each other up with zip ties
>after that I forgot asked first, but I ended up trying to choke her, can’t remember how that came up, probably mentioned something sexual earlier
>started slapping her across the face
>go to playground and make out and feel her up
>getting late
>cop comes over
>you two kids having fun, parks closed
>he winks at me
>y-yeah

Sorry if this greentext is bad, I’m just trying to remember all this shit and I’m drunk. We still talk by the way

[Anonymous No.14191637]

>>14191629
Well I thought it was funny. She seemed like she had a sense of humor with the McRib line. So. Eh.

[Anonymous No.14191641]

>>14191610
this is the only rational approach to the situation

[Anonymous No.14191652]

>>14191635
If you were black the cop would have murdered you instead and We The People would have gladly paid him for his trouble.

[Anonymous No.14191653]

>>14191610
She'll respect the effort and probably blow you if you do this OP

[Anonymous No.14191655]

>>14191443
Now you send the 3 for free copypasta

[Anonymous No.14191657]

>>14191626
Well, if you're not desperate, just wait another 25 years.

[Anonymous No.14191658]

>>14191629
Go be a wet blanket somewhere else

[Anonymous No.14191660]

>>14191637
yeah but she's a normalfag girl, not an autist on 4chan. i found it funny too, tough

[Anonymous No.14191663]

>>14191652
god i wish

[Anonymous No.14191664]

ask her whether she also found herself in the strange situation where she was rooting for the predator when watching how to catch a predator?

[Anonymous No.14191667]

>>14191635
holy based. thanks for the greentext

[Anonymous No.14191668]

>>14191652
the less niggers the better

[Anonymous No.14191669]

>>14191538
Message her and apologize that it was a dumb joke.

[Anonymous No.14191670]

>>14191629
>lunatic
god i love that word

[Anonymous No.14191673]

>>14191669
Do not do this

[Anonymous No.14191675]

>>14191673
>t. incel woman hater

[hamtaro No.14191679]

well she hasn't responded i guess that's it for tonight.... sorry /ck/... no free nuggies...

[Anonymous No.14191687]

>>14191679
appreciate you cockblocking yourself for the laffs bro. now go kys.

[Anonymous No.14191688]

>>14191679
you really fucked up by sending his reply instead of mine
i curse you with loneliness for the rest of your life

[Anonymous No.14191689]

>>14191679
oh no the thot that takes miles of dick didn't respond to you, what a travesty

[Anonymous No.14191697]

WAIT WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

[Anonymous No.14191698]

>>14191679
dont be a huge fag next time, but yeah you probably dodged a bullet like the other anon said

[Anonymous No.14191700]

>>14191697
she thinks you're a serial rapist

[Anonymous No.14191706]

>>14191697
she's not blocking you because she needs the convo history to show to her friends as cringe material

[Anonymous No.14191707]

>>14191697
the oh fuck was probably in response to the free nuggies
she chose to ignore your previous message
thats a good thing

[Anonymous No.14191708]

>>14191697
Don't worry that means she is still interested, just say it was a joke and agree to go to McDicks with her. You can do it anon.

[Anonymous No.14191709]

>>14191697
tell her you're coming to pick her up lmaoo

[Anonymous No.14191710]

>>14191697
Woo! She's interested in your sense of humor.

[Anonymous No.14191711]

>>14191652
statistically you're more likely to be killed by a cop if you're white, than if you're black

[Anonymous No.14191713]

>>14191635
based cop

[Anonymous No.14191714]

>>14191697
He's not dead yet boys

[Anonymous No.14191715]

>>14191711
statically you're more likely to suck my huge average cock singe you're a flaming faggot

[Anonymous No.14191717]

>>14191697
Respond with something like "for real tho, wanna meet up at mcdonald's?" This acknowledges you were joking without being apologetic.

[Anonymous No.14191719]

>>14191708
This. Do this one.
"No, but seriously. I'm down for some McRibs. I heard the ice cream machine ISN'T broken today for a change."
Or something like this.

[Anonymous No.14191721]

>>14191697
Tell her the 14 magic words.

[Anonymous No.14191723]

>>14191719
beta answer

>>14191717
chad answer

[Anonymous No.14191727]

>>14191697
ok send this verbatim
ALRIGHT THEN BIIIITCH LETS GOOOOOOOOO
IM ALREADY IN MY CAR YOU BETTER BE AT MCDONALDS WHEN I GET THERE
MEET ME BEHIND THE DUMPSTER AND WE CAN SLATHER OURSELVES IN THE USED FREYER GREASE

[Anonymous No.14191728]

>>14191697
""i have to warn you... i get really dominant and aggressive when I have nuggies. are you ok with that?"

[Anonymous No.14191730]

>>14191719
Then.... if it works, say we can still use the hammer if the machine is broken.

[Anonymous No.14191731]

>>14191697
I think she might've wanted to meet but you gave her mixed signals so now she's second guessing everything. I think it's good, women like the chase game.

[Anonymous No.14191744]

Ask her about the jews

[Anonymous No.14191755]

>>14191730
Oh sweatie no don't bother punching that gay shit up

[Anonymous No.14191760]

ask her about the top 3 worst moments of her life.

[Anonymous No.14191768]

>>14191717
OP, just say this. Keep it cool.

[Anonymous No.14191769]

Here goes nothing.... it's 11:30...

[Anonymous No.14191772]

Ask her about her anime 3x3. If any Shounen shit is on there then unmatch

[Anonymous No.14191774]

>>14191769
pussy

[Anonymous No.14191775]

>>14191769
Best of luck to you

[Anonymous No.14191777]

could've taken her to mcpoundtown today, instead you fizzle out overnight

[hamtaro No.14191785]

>>14191769
should i have told her "We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children,"?
>>14191775
thanks anon
>>14191777
BRO I GOT WORK AT 6AM

[Anonymous No.14191794]

>>14191769
her not bothering to correct her typo tells me she's laid back

[Anonymous No.14191799]

Come on OP, she clearly wants you to fuck her. Don't mess this up.

[Anonymous No.14191805]

>>14191397
What's vagina feel like

[Anonymous No.14191806]

>>14191785
>I GOT WORK AT 6AM
and you can show up groggy. excuse, you got you dick wet, possibly even covid 19. this was the time to think with your dick anon...but oh no...I have work in the morning. fuckin bitch made you are

[Anonymous No.14191808]

Do not keep double texting, trying to fix it too eagerly will dig you a deeper hole.

[hamtaro No.14191816]

>>14191799
>>14191806
you are right anons, damn my pre frontal cortex.

i dont work friday, i will try to fug her then

[Anonymous No.14191842]

>>14191805
bags of sand

[Anonymous No.14191844]

>>14191842
yuck

[Anonymous No.14191889]

>>14191769
fag

[Anonymous No.14191931]

>>14191769
she unironically doesn't deserve you. Massive fucking balls on you lad I'm proud

[Anonymous No.14191940]

>>14191769
ya blew it

[Anonymous No.14191943]

>>14191624
>Do a quick search
Man, the internet always disappoints when you live in a rural area.
Thank allah I'm moving soon

[Anonymous No.14191976]

>>14191943
Well, I also got in a 4 year long distance relationship with a girl from Singapore, through that subreddit. And we travelled around the world together, spent a little more than a year living together, and almost got married. But that's a little bit more hard mode than just getting your dick wet.

[Anonymous No.14192050]

>>14191769
R U I N E D. Could've banged her tonight desu and just lost your opp

[Anonymous No.14192054]

>>14191769
YOU'LL GO NOW

[Anonymous No.14192087]

>>14191697
acquire phone number, get laid.

[Anonymous No.14192594]

>>14191538
You just wasted your one and only chance to find love...now you'll be forever alone anon...

[Anonymous No.14192596]

>>14191805
Salty milk

[Anonymous No.14192599]

>>14191805
armpit

[Anonymous No.14192789]

>>14191397
She looks like such a typical tinder girl.
Not the kind who just wants to bang or get attention, no, the unfortunate type that is actually looking for a boyfriend lmao

[Anonymous No.14192800]

>>14191465
>>14191445
Way too quick. She is gonna think you are a creep.
Banter a little more, ask her out at the point where you would be catching your breath from laughing.
Make her prove herself a little to you, that's what women want.
Even a mediocre looking girl like her has inboxes full of half hearted invitations, awkwardly stuttered after just a few sentences.
"What is wrong with you" is what she thinks in her head.

[Anonymous No.14192809]

>>14191515
Better stay at home then. Can't be helped.
Phew, virginity protected another day.

>>14191551
She wont

>>14191557
How is this a good humor test? None of what he said was a joke or funny.

[Anonymous No.14192811]

>>14192809
>None of what he said was a joke
Not true
>or funny
Extremely true

[Anonymous No.14192814]

>>14191769
Why OP?
This is seriously hard to watch. Why ask when you are not gonna take ANY decent advice?

[Anonymous No.14192826]

>>14191805
Unironically like the inside of your cheek.
Silky soft, warm, moist and stretchy, but as a tight sleeve.
My girlfriend is so tight, it hurts my dick sometimes when she clamps down.
But all women are different.

[Anonymous No.14192854]

>>14192814
OP is gonna get his dick sucked with a mouthful of mcnuggies in a mcdonalds bathroom

[Anonymous No.14192869]

>all these fucking wanna be dating coaches ITT LARPing as generals after the battle
cringe

[Anonymous No.14192891]

>>14191538
>scrolling thru this shit thread
Oh boy cant wait to see what happens next

[Anonymous No.14192901]

>>14191679
>>14192891
>whaaat who could have seen this coming
OP's such a faggot god dman

[Anonymous No.14192925]

>>14191816
Still think you've got a chance, huh? Cute.

[Anonymous No.14192943]

Good morning anons, she has not messaged me back. But it is pretty early, I hope to hear from her soon

[Anonymous No.14192946]

>>14192943
Is this your only match or something?

[Anonymous No.14192950]

>>14192943
Good morning, OP. I'm going to sleep. Best of luck to you.

[Anonymous No.14192954]

>>14191538
Funniest part about this is that you'll go back to pitying yourself for being alone within the week.

[Anonymous No.14192976]

>>14192901
>>14192954
t. humorless fucks