ITT: Poor etiquette that pisses you off

[Anonymous No.14073811]

Grew up in old money. Had to take etiquette classes as a young lad. I’ve pretty much accepted that people don’t know how to dine out. I’m not the kind of asshole to say “U DIDNT PUT UR UTENSILS ON THE PLATE THE RIGHT WAY”

But one thing that does bug me is napkin placement. Lunch and dinner napkin placement is DIFFERENT. lunch is a more casual meal. Place it over half of your lap!

[Anonymous No.14073815]

I eat with my hands and I'm better than you, prove me wrong.

[Anonymous No.14073817]

>>14073811
Get help for your autism.

[Anonymous No.14073819]

>>14073811
Who gives a shit where the napkin is you fucking pleb

[Anonymous No.14073820]

>>14073811
I'm outraged and let everyone know when my lunch isn't served with the customary goyim baby foreskin for dessert.

[Anonymous No.14073823]

>>14073811
If you really grew up in old money you wouldn't have to take etiquette classes.

[Anonymous No.14073827]

>>14073823
I was a problem child, too

[Anonymous No.14073832]

>>14073811
>eating with mouth open
>chewing sounds
>burping
>using hands
>not waiting for others to start eating
>clinking of utentils
>that "ahhhhhh" thing people do after drinkin
>sipping
>slurping

I tolerate these things because most people have no manners, but it grosses me out.

[Anonymous No.14073833]

>>14073827
Also guessing you must be American because of
>fish knives

[Anonymous No.14073851]

>>14073811
THAT'S NOT HOW YOU HOLD A SPORK!!!

[Anonymous No.14073881]

>Eating the meat but not the vegetables
Kids can be excused, adults cannot.

[Anonymous No.14073884]

>>14073832

[Anonymous No.14073886]

>>14073811
not sure if still dinner etiquette but friends being late annoys me the most
not that i am busy

[Anonymous No.14073892]

>>14073832
>not waiting for others to start eating
This is a stupid rule of etiquette. Generally, any nice place will serve everyone at the same time, so it is irrelevant, but it's ridiculous to expect another person to sit and stare at their food for ten minutes while it gets cold just so they aren't rude. As soon as that plate hits the table I start in, and I grant the same liberties to anyone I eat with. I'd rather they enjoy it hot while it's at its best than obey some stupid societal rule.

[Anonymous No.14073905]

>>14073811
Imagine being this autistic

[Anonymous No.14073915]

>>14073832
Is this how working class people actually behave?

[Anonymous No.14073969]

>>14073892
the point of sitting at the table is for the meal to be shared, not golfed down as if it were a park bench holding a bunch of strangers.

[Anonymous No.14074002]

>>14073881
>Kids can be excused
if your kids don't eat vegetables, learn to cook them properly you fucking disgusting slob

[Anonymous No.14074009]

>>14073969
I don't get up and walk away once my food is finished. I can enjoy the company of who I'm eating with without literally eating at the same time as them.

[Anonymous No.14074062]

>>14074009
>not bailing out and locking yourself in your room to play hentai games immediately after you take your last bite, while you're still chewing

[Anonymous No.14074103]

>>14073811
Dude, are you stupid? Most of the "Fine Dining" is out of Date and i think everyone knows what a Butter-Knife, a Fish-Knive, a fucking Napkin is for. But to get angry about someone who eat his own way ist childish.
If you have to burp,do it and say "Sorry.
Dont play with your food, dont fart...not so hard to eat properly without beeing an Asshole.

[Anonymous No.14074114]

>>14073811

Based and chadpilled

[Anonymous No.14074475]

i just tilt the plate into my mouth and hope and napkins takes what falls off the sides.

[Anonymous No.14074507]

>>14073811
Hope your skull gets turned into a drinking glass for some homeless barbarian in the coming apocalypse.

[Anonymous No.14074786]

>>14074507
If/when I become an apocalyptic barbarian, I am definitely going to raid old money mansions and compounds. I was thinking more of using rich people bones for shock and awe necro armor, but elite-skull pimp cups would be pretty badass. Thanks for the idea.

[Anonymous No.14074825]

>>14073832
>utensil clinking
Yes let me autistically worry about the slightest bits of noise metal makes against ceramic/glass.
>slurping
Slurping is only acceptable in Asian-styled noodle shops/or being a typical weeb and eating ramen, it's my only exception mainly due to personal background.
>using hands
Some foods are fucking meant to be eaten with your fingers. Eating mozzarella sticks/french fries/pizza with anything but your hands makes you look retarded.

Everything else I agree with on being unbearable and fucking annoying. Especially people who smack their mouths as they eat, jesus.

[Anonymous No.14074838]

>>14074825
>Eating mozzarella sticks/french fries/pizza with anything but your hands makes you look retarded.

[Anonymous No.14074845]

>>14074825

[Anonymous No.14074859]

>>14073811
How does it make you feel that I don't use a napkin at all?

[Anonymous No.14074886]

>>14073823
Thats nonsense, elites learn all this shit. They also learn to ride horses.

[Anonymous No.14074945]

>>14073811
>parents spend 20 years teaching you to act one way
>literally nobody else acts that way

[Anonymous No.14074968]

>>14073811
>champagne flute
only plebs drink champagne out of these glasses. they are made to make the bubbles look pretty. you should ideally drink it from glasses shaped like a tulip so that you can swirl the champagne around, enhancing its taste.

[Anonymous No.14074976]

>>14073811
what pisses me off is is the people who care more about how they eat than what they eat.

[Anonymous No.14074984]

>>14074838
>>14074845
Thanks for proving my point, looks fucking retarded.

[Anonymous No.14074985]

>>14074968
>drinking alcohol
>for flavor
kek, it's like collecting hotsauces.

[Anonymous No.14074991]

>>14074838
surface area to volume is way too skewed.
you also eat cereal with a knife?

[Anonymous No.14075006]

>>14074991
spoon?

[Anonymous No.14075021]

>>14073811
Fucking Richfags like you are all crybaby pussy faggots. Never had to face adversity once in their pathetic boring lives. Go choke on a dick simp cuck.

[Anonymous No.14075438]

>>14073832
I forgot to add

>moaning
>smacking

[Anonymous No.14075743]

>>14073811
>salad knife
Fuck you

[Anonymous No.14075793]

>>14074002
Not him, but some kids can't handle vegetables due to their taste buds. You can sneak some vegetables in a paste or a dessert even. Going off what >>14073881 said, I make it a rule to clean my plate out of respect as a guest and out of respect for the cook, even if I don't like a particular dish served. Wasting food is a massive pet peeve of mine.

[Anonymous No.14075961]

>>14073811
faggot

[Anonymous No.14076146]

>>14074786
>>14074507
What makes you think Old Money don't take shooting lessons and martial arts/fencing lessons?

[Anonymous No.14076264]

>>14073819

>Who gives a shit where the napkin is you fucking pleb
>pleb
>as in plebeian
>the guy from old money

too dumb to understand etiquette or vocabulary I see, pity.

[Anonymous No.14076269]

>>14076146
What makes you think that even matters against a horde of angry apocalyptic barbarians with nothing to lose.

[Anonymous No.14076461]

>>14076269
I dunno, but I know some old money folks (both young and old) and they're sadistic enough to probably have pleasure by shooting you and all the retarded bums that think anything that's gasoline and ammuntion from yards away. A Toyota Yaris will be more valuable than a McLaren F1 once the apocalypse happens.

[Anonymous No.14078123]

Used to have a friend who held a fork with a fist. He looked like a fucking caveman.

[Anonymous No.14078694]

>>14073811
Imagine sperging about how other people shove slop into their pie holes.

[Anonymous No.14078702]

>>14073811
Why do I need a seafood fork AND a fish fork? Is seafood reserved for crustaceans and mollusks or something that’s not fish?

[Anonymous No.14078953]

When people hold their silverware incorrectly I want to leave the table

[Anonymous No.14078960]

>>14078702
>Is seafood reserved for crustaceans and mollusks or something that’s not fish?
Yes, exactly.

[Anonymous No.14079344]

>>14076146
>look out he's got a foil!
Said no-one ever.

[Anonymous No.14079353]

>>14073811
I often eat soup without a spoon.

[Anonymous No.14079400]

OP I'm gonna level with you:

I don't even own that much silverware or dishes in my entire apartment and what is this, a single meal? "Old money" gonna dry up real fast with the amount of fucking water you're wasting to wash these dishes after every meal now isn't it?

[Anonymous No.14079410]

>>14073815
Imagine using all those fucking utensils when all you ever need is a single spoon.

[Anonymous No.14079421]

They're not old money standards, but I've got a fuckton of nice china and silver that was my grandparents and it is the most goddamn useless shit I own. I'm a single male that lives by himself, does my family really think I have people over? Shit, they haven't even been to my latest place.

[Anonymous No.14079983]

>>14074984
but thats how its served in italy, the country of origin.

[Anonymous No.14079998]

>>14073811
I am so glad I did not have to put up with this shit growing up. never had anyone complain about how I eat at a fancy restaurant except once when a cousin of my wife was confused that I did not cut my meat, put the fork down and switch hands to eat it. I looked at them like they were a lunatic and ate the way I always do.

fork in left hand knife in right (never switching) and curve of tines DOWN like a civilized person.

curves up is for retards.

[Anonymous No.14080006]

>>14073811
eating with your mouth open, may God strike down all those who eat with an open mouth. What an utterly disgusting habit.

[Anonymous No.14080008]

>>14073832
>not waiting for others to start eating
so then nobody eats? because someone has start. who the fuck cares who it is?

[Anonymous No.14080010]

>>14075793
>Not him, but some kids can't handle vegetables due to their taste buds

What a crock of shit. Kids are just little faggots. I've been eating my veggies since I was in the nut. The key is to not let those little shitballs get their own way because it will turn them into fussy cunts down the line. Don't @ me with your bullshit either kid.

[Anonymous No.14080020]

>fish fork on left side

>seafood fork way on the left away from forks

What did they mean by this?

[Anonymous No.14080037]

>>14073969
I'm not eating cold food for anyone ever.

>>14074825
>pizza
you eat that with a knife and fork heathen.

>>14074968
>swirl the champagne around, enhancing its taste.
champagne soaks up so much flavor from glass.

>>14078953
>When people hold their silverware incorrectly I want to leave the table
no one will miss you.

>>14080010
found the person with no kids.

[Anonymous No.14080041]

>>14073811
fixed

[Anonymous No.14080048]

>all these salty poor people
All you have to do is put your napkin in your lap, use the silverware from the outside in, don't hamfist your silverware, put your knife and fork parallel on the plate when you're done eating, and be polite to the waiter. That's it, now you're more educated than 99% of normies.

[Anonymous No.14080051]

>>14080008
everyone starts enjoying the meal after saying grace anon

[Anonymous No.14080055]

>>14080037
Kids can handle vegetables, they're just being fussy cunts. Having kids do things they don't want to do benefits them, pandering to them doesn't. Grow a spine.

[Anonymous No.14080056]

>>14080008
I was talking about people starting to eat before everyone is sitting at the table.

[Anonymous No.14080060]

>>14080051
people still do that?

>>14080055
you don't have kids, I can tell.

>>14080056
oh well then say that.

[Anonymous No.14080064]

>>14073811
Where the fuck do you put your elbows then? Smart ass

[Anonymous No.14080066]

>>14080064

[Anonymous No.14080110]

the thing that bothers you is a napkin that's completely out of site?

[Anonymous No.14080125]

>>14080060
kids are like cats
the more you show them that you will eventually cave in, the more they will abuse that and continue to misbehave

[Anonymous No.14080163]

>>14080125
you keep proving my point.

[Anonymous No.14080173]

Just eat the food you fucking prick it all turns into shit in the end anyway.

[Anonymous No.14080177]

>>14080125
im a different person
and I have kids
did you consider not introduce them to junkfood and actually being a parent that is in charge?
compare that to my sister whose 6 year old still walks around with bottles because its just easier to let him have one

[Anonymous No.14080181]

>>14080177
>>14080163
that was for you

[Anonymous No.14080207]

>>14073811
Etiquette is nothing more than a way to differentiate yourself from "others". Hidden rules, like "The napkin is only folded in HALF at lunch!" is just a tribal marker.

[Anonymous No.14080213]

growing up in an indian immigrant family, we liked to eat with our hands. whenever we would go to the local Pho establishments I would stare at my parents using their bare palms to scoop up the broth and slurp it up

[Anonymous No.14080216]

>>14080213
handles of rice, yeah ok
meat chunks, even lathered in sauce, fine whatever
using bread to grab huge amounts of dip or stew, you do you man

cupping broth in your palm
what the actual fuck

[Anonymous No.14080236]

>>14080216
sometimes you can let the broth filter through the gaps between your finger as you cup the Pho, allowing you to just eat up the brisket chunks from your cupped palms.

[Anonymous No.14080273]

>>14073811
if i am having some cake and coffee i got a fork for the cake and a spoon for the coffee, where does the spoon for the coffee go? on the same spot as the dessert spoon (7) would go?

[Anonymous No.14080331]

>>14073811
I put all of my shlop into a plastic bowl that my departed dog used and eat out of it like a neanderthal using the nearest mostly clean utensil.

[Anonymous No.14080350]

>>14073811
What the fuck? Who cares about this shit? Eat your food however you want as long as you aren't chewing with your mouth open or talking with food in your mouth

[Anonymous No.14080379]

Americans:

>eat the food however you like

Also Americans:

>NOOOO, YOU CANT EAT PIZZA WITH KNIFE AND FORK. NOT THE HECKIN DOUGHY PIZZERINO BOYO

[Anonymous No.14080420]

>>14080041
>soup plate

[Anonymous No.14080448]

just want to say real quick that anyone who eats their meals off a cold plate/bowl is a fucking uncivilized and barbaric subhuman

[Anonymous No.14080467]

>>14080379
But we do eat pizza with a knife and fork sometimes.

[Anonymous No.14080478]

>>14073811

The fuck do you need five different forks for, asshole?

[Anonymous No.14080488]

>>14080478
their respective uses are literally in OP pic you fucking idiot

[Anonymous No.14080506]

>>14080488

Except they all do the same fucking thing, shitbrain. A salad fork, fish fork, and dinner fork are all functionally identical.

[Anonymous No.14080507]

>>14080048
How terrible are you at eating that food is falling into your lap?

[Anonymous No.14080512]

>>14080488
it all enters your mouth anyways

[Anonymous No.14080575]

>>14073832
>slurping
what if you're eating asian food? I slurp asian foods because that's the etiquette. Took me a while to get used to it, but now it feels wrong not to slurp my noods.

[Anonymous No.14080929]

>>14080575
my friends parents are from china and his dad slurps his noodle bowls, etc as loud and aggressively as possible while his son goes crazy hearing it

[Anonymous No.14080980]

>>14080575
>what if you're eating asian food?

I don't slurp things, even if it's Asian food. I respect their way of eating, but I don't need to follow.

[Anonymous No.14080985]

Rich people with too much money and time invented that dumb shit.
I hate hearing other people eat and the sound of utensils and I'll be silent, but if you travel at all you realize real fast other cultures view that shit much different.

[Anonymous No.14081025]

If someone ever told me to my face that i was wearing a napkin wrong or using the wrong fork i would punch them onto their ass and call them a faggot.

[Anonymous No.14081050]

>>14080985
shouldn't the rich know that time is money? why would you waste both on a thousand different forks?

[Anonymous No.14081057]

>>14073811
GUILLOTINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous No.14081260]

>>14073823
>implying mommy or daddy took the time to raise a 6yo

[Anonymous No.14081285]

>>14073832
Fucking this

Godamn if someone gave me the thanos glove for one use this would be it

[Anonymous No.14081322]

>>14081025
do you even use a fork or do you tip your crappy tv dinners straight down your fat fucking gullet?

[Anonymous No.14081343]

>>14081322
Say that to my face and not online bud see how quickly you get fucking put on your ass

[Anonymous No.14081372]

>>14080420
You put the soup bowl on it so you don't burn your fingers oonga

[Anonymous No.14081390]

>>14080041

Eliminate the salad plate and combine the spoon and fork into a spork and it’s even more efficient.

[Anonymous No.14081542]

>boomer parents always on my case about how I hold my fork
>tell me I'm going to embarrass myself when I'm eating with friends
>people I eat with lean their elbows on the table and shit

[Anonymous No.14081606]

>>14079410
>>14081390
A spork and a reasonably sharp knife are the height of luxury.

[Anonymous No.14081674]

>>14073811
Literally all you need is a fork, knife, spoon, a normal glass, a wine glass, napkins, plates, and bowls. Anything else is unnecessary

[Anonymous No.14081710]

>>14081674

Spork
Knife
Plate
Bowl
Mug

[Anonymous No.14081711]

I grew up in a trailer park, and though I'm fairly wealthy now, and my children are living a comfortable life, I still act like white trash sometimes, usually when I'm eating. I pretty much just stick my plate on my lap and wolf my meal down, hunched over and watching TV. I can't eat unless I'm watching TV. I use my hands for almost everything and just stuff shit down my throat as fast as I can, because my seven brothers and sisters and I pretty much fought over what food we had like hogs at feeding time. I got pretty fat, once I started making real money, and though my meals are mostly salads and stuff now, I still suck it down like it's going out of style. My wife hates it and my kids think that I'm a freak when I eat.
I'm pretty sure I've rushed saying grace at least once by saying "rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub".
The more I type, the more I realize I'm generally setting an awful example for my kids. I don't have them in faggy etiquette classes, but I don't want this behavior to be normalized, even though they agree with their mother right now that it's disgusting. I miss the simplicity of poverty, when I was just happy to have food in my gut, and didn't care how it got there.

[Anonymous No.14082234]

>>14080177
>Sister
>Him

Kek

[Anonymous No.14082289]

>>14082234
Sober up, rummy.

[Anonymous No.14082319]

>>14082289
>compare that to my sister whose 6 year old still walks around with bottles because its just easier to let him have one

[Anonymous No.14082322]

>>14082289
>>14082319
Oh lmao, I just seent it. I thought the dude was talking about his 6 year old sister.

[Anonymous No.14082339]

>>14073811
shit I never knew this. next time I'm having a casual lunch I'll be sure to leave myself open to casually fucking up one half of my pants only

[Anonymous No.14082342]

>>14081711
Did your wife have money growing up?
And do your in-laws hate you?

[Anonymous No.14082348]

>>14075793
>go to friend's eastern european household
>food is usually great, but occasionally there's something iI'm not fond of
>finish regardless
>this is a sign that clearly i need more food

[Anonymous No.14082598]

>>14073811
Shut up you fucking fairy, nobody cares that you took LARP classes

[Anonymous No.14082643]

>>14081343
ur mom

[Anonymous No.14082646]

oh pity potty pish posh tiddlywinkers codswallop, chap! I absolutely adored yesterday's crumpernickles and foreskin fondue!
I hate you pretentious fucks even more. Obviously chewing with your mouth open and smacking your lips and all that shit is gross. But imagine getting anal about the way people put a fucking napkin on their legs. I don't even use the fucking napkin might as well wipe the dingleberries from my ass with it. You probably eat alone all the time with your "good etiquette" got your napkin on your legs and broomstick up your ass to keep your posture straight on a tiny ass table with a bright white lamp shining over your dull boring ass food. I'll be out with my friends eating giant fuckin pizza slices off the wing of my car at 4am and making fun of minorities while you're masturbating to Japanese cartoons alone in bed.

[Anonymous No.14082650]

>>14073811
forks need to be placed with the teeth toward the table, barbarian chart baka

[Anonymous No.14082652]

>>14081710
>I want a utensil that will combine a bad fork and a bad spoon
>gotcha

[Anonymous No.14082760]

>>14081711
>grow up poor
>can shake the poor
>can't shake the poor mindset
Shit sucks dude, I still have a strong drive to hoard shit. Everything from bread ties & jars to scrap pieces of wood or metal. It takes a conscious effort for me to throw away food that hasn't grown mold on it.
Table manners were a big thing though. I guess my family just had a different reaction to scarcity than yours. Rather than squabbling portions were divided and dealt with discipline, chewing with your mouth open or other lack of courtesy generally got a scolding or slapping from either mom or dad.
I get annoyed when other people I'm eating with leave food on their plates or waste condiments (maple syrup is the worst offender by far).

[Anonymous No.14082831]

>>14074825
I eat everything with fork and knife, even pizza/burgers/fries. Fight me

[Anonymous No.14082865]

>>14073811
Continental or American style with the knife and fork?
American pisses me off

[Anonymous No.14082903]

>>14073811

>Say thanks when served
>Don't talk about how you make it better
>Clean your FUCKING mouth as you eat
Absolutely nothing worse than someone having mustard on their mouth. Wipe you face with the back of your sleeve if you have to, bitter yet just take appropriate sized bites.
>Burping is fine but wait until everyone is done eating
>Smacking
This doesn't really happen where I'm from but I can only imagine it being kind of gross

and finally, weirdly specific but something I've learnt about recently
>If you have an eating disorder, don't eat so much you want to puke it up
I wont be offended if you have a quarter serve so you don't hate yourself after, I will be annoyed if you go place a whole meal or more that I put time and money into, into the toilet ten minutes after eating however. I know ED's are complicated but this is something that really frustrates me, not that I'd go off at someone for it.

[Anonymous No.14082981]

>>14073811
>pet peeves
americans who dont know how to use forks
i can see not knowing how to use knives but the fork? omfg its not a spear you dont fist hold the fucking fork
>inb4 do americans really
yes they really do, ive lived both in usa and europe, ive only seen americans do this

[Anonymous No.14082988]

>>14082981
That and huge glasses and plates

[Anonymous No.14083032]

>>14082981
notice that's a white hand

[Anonymous No.14083085]

>>14073811
suck the shit out my ass nignog

[Anonymous No.14083086]

>>14082981
>americans who dont know how to use forks
So every mutt

[Anonymous No.14083322]

>>14082981
>its not a spear
it's a pointed stick made for stabbing things. it's way more a spear than it is a pencil. holding the fork like that is more ergonomic and effective than the way you're supposed to.

[Anonymous No.14083824]

>>14073832
>using hands
im sorry im unable to levitate my food and utensils

[Anonymous No.14083832]

>>14082831
soup?

[Anonymous No.14083924]

>>14081542
Be the light in amidst of chaos.

Be the change you want to see.

[Anonymous No.14083944]

>>14073811
This is autism

Utensils from the outside and napkin in lap. No elbows on the table. Thats all you need to remember

[Anonymous No.14083973]

[Anonymous No.14084007]

>>14081711
Just explain to your kids why you do it, I'm sure they'll understand