2022-11: Warosu is now out of maintenance. Become a Patron!
Post the most horrifying examples of bad cooking you can.For example kay webms and the mayonnaise guy webm, etc.
remember to always keep towels on hand
>>13924693Dude trynna cook a whole chicken with a hairdryer?
>>13924678>mayonnaise guyHave some fucking respect for ja/ck/
>>13924678May God have mercy on all our souls.
>>13924711I MADE LAVA
>>13924678So anon, whos food would you rather eat? Kay's or jack's?Starving isnt a valid answer
>>13924711CAST IT INTO THE FIREDESTROY IT
>>13924849at least ja/ck/'s cooking is edible, however harmful to my health it may be
>>13924848Lookin like some background RE4 slop you find in a cabin
>>13924678it doesn't count if you're trying to do it badly.
>>13924848Wtf is even that?
>>13924705little green ghouls, buddy
>>13924849I'll eat my own asshole first before I try any of their cooking
>>13924703I think I remember it from an episode of good eats as a trick to dry the skin quick so it roasts crispy.
>>13925008I was gonna say I swear that's from RE7.
>>13924848"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, he's not eatin' it Jack"
>>13924693I saw Jack Scalfani at a cooking competition in LA a few weeks ago. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn't want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.He said, "Oh look at that, beautiful isn't it?"I was taken aback, and all I could say was "Huh?" but he kept cutting me off and going "beautiful, just perfect" and closing his nuwave oven shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my eating, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to vote for the winner up front I saw him trying to cook buffalo steaks like fifteen seconds in his nuwave oven without heat.The judge at the kitchen was very nice about it and professional, and was like "Sir, you need to properly cook those first." At first he kept pretending to be retarded and claimed it was perfect, but eventually turned back around and microwaved them for a while.When she took one of the buffalo steaks and started tasting it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to add some cayanne "to prevent any natural taste," and then turned around and winked at me. I don't even think that's legal. After she tasted each steak and put them in the trash and started to lay down the judgment, he kept interrupting her by repeating "beautiful" really loudly.
>>13924683>She managed to make decent looking friesHas she been messing with us all along?
>>13924958You have a very loose definition of edible
>>13925460pretty sure she makes fries for herself every meal
>>13925511Id much rather eat kays bolognese than anything done by the mayo major
>>13924849Kay. Most of her ""food"" is just incredibly bland and overcooked. At least there isnt the risk of food poisoning from Jack's love for raw meat
>>13924678as much as I like to make fun of jack and simplysara and shit, I can't bring myself to insult Kay. I really feel she's trying her best.
>>13925742There's a sincerity to Kay that Jack doesn't have.
>>13925805kay's not the type of person who would say she was worried about people cheating at a church chili cook off.i think she's also not the type of person that would knowingly feed someone ancient, freezer-burned meat. she'd be like "oh lookit that its all ole' lets go to theh market"
>>13925863Kay seems to be -learning-. Slowly but surely.Jack... Has learned NOTHING.
>>13925863Kay thinks the Palestinians AND the Israelis should be napalmed. Bless her.
>>13924693How long does it take for the surface moisture to evaporate in the oven? I'm willing to bet no longer than the 10-15 minutes he spent blow drying it
>>13925882For all her many awful flaws, Kay is actually willing to listen to constructive criticism.Jack is not.
>>13925964why would he listen to anyone? he's a professional chef and you're just some retard. of course.>"oh, my arm doesn't work">"I must just be really tired because my arm doesn't work"thank god he reproduced several times, for the betterment of us all.
>>13925882>>13925964I'm not sure, he does seem to eat at least a little healthier now, granted it took him until his third stroke where lost people would learn their lesson after the first, and he doesn't appear to have lost any weight.
>>13924849Kay's. It may be horrible but at least it won't give me salmonella or is drowned in mayo.
>>13925977he probably eats like 30 less calories a day now, and he would've burned those 30 calories by using an arm
>>13925964Your opinion is not in the recipe
>>13925398Am I too much of a newfag to understand this absolutely insane wall of text?
>>13926147It's a copypasta edited with jack stuff.
Who's got that Finnish dudes YouTube channel where he throws everything into a large pot inc. fish sticks, potatoes, sausages, beer ect.?Lost his channel a couple of years ago
>>13926147its an edit of the "I saw flying lotus in a grocery store" copypasta.
>Not posting the true memelord of shitty cookinghttps://youtu.be/w46Dwh4TMGA
>>13926460That sounds like Pasi.
>>13924711>wife made soup
>>13926528What an absolute prince. Maso walked so that Kay could run.
>>13924849What the fuck is that, car oil?
>>13926528was this dinotendies' teacher?
>>13924678Could have just said you wanted a ja/ck/ thread
>>13925460>>13925654they're frozen fries
Dear Lord what is wrong with these humans
>>13926528I like the one where he defrosted a steak or something on the rim of his toilet bowl.
>>13924848I bet it tastes delicious though.
>>13926545>>13926782Thanks fellow internet creeps
>>13926528Jesus fucking christ. Someone make webms out of this.I would myself but im retarded.
>>13924678I wish someone saved that video of that flip woman making spaghetti carbonara and it just ends up as cheesy hot dog soup with the noodles and the husband dies inside after trying it
This thread made me sick to my stomach. Thanks
>>13924711I'm trying to imagine how this happened and I'm coming up with nothing.
>>13927010You really need to hear masao's insightful commentary for full enjoyment.
>>13924711>tries to make lava cake
>>13925977Yeah he eats healthier alright. He gets two bacon double cheeseburgers instead of 3. He looks fatter than ever
>>13926528https://youtu.be/3J33zhEfOHkDude is still at it
>>13926561hahawife stupid and bad
>>13927674>I wanna renovate this placeOh lawd.
> not posting the granma of cooking shithttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4zw99VsoMA
>>13927674>Sitting on the floor and using your oven door as a tableIncredibly based
>>13927761Oh jesus. This fucking nightmare. A darkside meme all its very own.
>>13927816I will never not be confused by people who can't estimate the effect of gravity.
>>13924849So here's the thing. These people exist. Somewhere out in the world, these people are free to commit their hate crimes against food in the privacy of their own homes. I know they absolutely can do it, but...why? How can this be enjoyable if you've had properly good food.
> the meme writes itselfhttps://youtu.be/FweXyUbaTaE
>>13924711careful its a little hot
>>13924713>>13924678Christ, is every American fat and fucking retarded like her, him, or fairy tale creature
>>13927833Where is the full video of this ffs? Doesn't look like its on her channel at all.
>>13927865Might have taken it down. I dont follow her.
>>13927856Mother of almighty god. This has to be a fucking larp.
>>13927851>HEAVY BREATHING INTENSIFIES
>>13927871Shame. I really wanted to torture myself with that. Thanks anyway, bud.
>>13927864> American0/10 failbait.
>>13927851how is this kid not dead from heart failure
>>13927231Sugar left on too long can catch and become thisIts the only thing I can think of
>>13927851I'm surprised he hasn't eaten his cat
>>13927761>>13927885isnt she on a show with her sister about them trying to lose weight?
>>13927906Do you have a sweet pasta longpost?
>>13925951Hahaha. Thanks for the belly laugh, Anon.
>>13927911no, but now i'm interested in reading it!
Officially requesting the sweet ramen longpost. Newfags nee to see it.
>>13927928>>13927911oh, you mean the one where he uses food colouring in the ramen with all this other nasty shit?
>>13927941I see it every other day and always forget to save it. I'll make sure to save it for the next one of these threads.
>>13927853>Friend servers me this>Turn 360 on jump through the window
>>13927851>the tired look in his eyedo we live just to suffer?
this is beautifulhttps://youtu.be/d7hZfoqsskM
>>13924711Someone's been baking... laverbread.
>>13927920And people wonder why coronavirus is wiping these people out.
>>13927853It looks like the remains of a really old car that crashed into a bee colony
>>13928041I dont see it
>>13927897Need full video of this pls
I think you meant the "best" of cooking, right OP?
>>13927920>those repliesDo black people really put sugar in their spaghetti?
>>13926147>>13926299Close but not quite. Jack tried to enter a cooking competition on TV and failed miserably. I believe he started crying at one point
>>13927928>>13927947Here you go.
>>13928077white people do too. Just not that much. Thats disgusting.
>>13928086I've never hear of that. When making the sauce sure a bit but never just springling it on the top.
>>13927947This shit made me scream in laughter, thanks.
>>13928089My stepmom years ago used to make it like that. Tasted like shit imo.
>>13924700fusion cousine at it's finest
>>13928056Wtf is this? Who the fuck would pay for that shit jesus
>>13928113Didnt know tom cruise posted in /ck/
>>13928113the fucki was drinking my coffee
>>13927897I can no longer take any more. Congratulations, Internet. You finally broke me.
>>13928115It's some mexican hipster shit or something.
>>13928056WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS WHERE IS THIS WHO THE FUCK IS EATING THIS
>>13928113fucking gross dude
>>13927897I'd like to be sad for her but she seems so happy always. Maybe she's just retarded.
>>13928085I was here for this fucking abomination. What a day.
>>13928113People who fall for this meme are retarded.>It has vitamins and shitJust eat some liver you disgusting fucks.
>>13928115It's the finest , fanciest dinner Mexico has to offer, don't be racist and dig in!
>>13926528Masaokis always makes me want to clean my apartment like a meth fiend.
>>13928089Usually it's just like half a sugar packet for a this will last a week of dinners quantity of sauce. That's just a fat ass.
>>13924713cheap confite>>13927851you lied to me, the channel would be a hundred times better if it was actually cooking with fatty stuck in mud, and he cooked everything from a waist high mudpit
>HAI PEEPOO AM BACK CEWKEN AGEN
>>13927851poor kid, this is sad
>>13928157nah man, I'm somewhat of a beaner myself and I've never seen or heard of these monstrosities in real life
>>13928201>doesnt read the threadfuck off
>>13928235Eat shit fag
>>13928278can you not swear? this is a christian server.
>>13927851Whenever I see fat lardies like this who have cats, I always get sad because I realize the cat will outlive them and then be trapped in the house for god knows how long until the fatties corpse is found. (Remember, these fatties don't leave the house anyway so their lack of presence outside won't raise suspicion). Then I remember how fat they are so they'll provide the cat sustenance for a good while and I feel better.
>>13928318What is the end result supposed to be?
>>13928335rice that is moist
>>13928335fried rice of some sort
>>13924705Is that Charlies milk steak?
>>13926147Yes, but hey.. at least ya asked instead of bein a try hard doucher. Lurk a little more n ull be all good buddy
>>13926548>>13926550>Was i rushing or dragging?
>>13924711I think I created something like this back when I was 10 or something, trying to make rock candy.
>>13924711Extra dark caramel?
>>13928538rock candy is made with sugar solution and a stickI don't know how you fucked that up until it burned to shit
>>13928535As disgusting as the "party cheese salad" is, seeing Jack himself is even more disgusting. What a fat fucking pig.
>>13928701>party cheese saladcalm down podesta
>>13928720What's with the potatoes?
>>13924678I have never seen a non fat person wear an iron maiden tshirt.
>>13928535I don't really understand what the fuck this is.
>>13928701Jack doesn't even look like normal disgusting fat. He's like a human meatball.
>>13928720That's literally what it's called.
>>13928734you know what is with the retards>>13928748giantmeatballitalianww2casualty.jpg>>13928756don't come here with your codewords like cheese pizza and hotdog and walnut sauce john
>>13928056I'm an American.But do Americans really?
>>13928535How many generations of inbreeding resulted into this?
>>13928127Who eats raw zucchini???
>>13924849whats wrong with the oil?
>>13928919Not him but actually tastes really fucking based if you eat raw with a garlic and olive oil dressing. For real.
>>13928919it's cucumber but raw courgette is decent enough in small portions
>>13928318are those rice not cooked?I mean not streamalmost like he just toast it dried
>>13927712t. stupid and bad wife
>>13927853@devilintraining_ my eyes....
>>13924678what is that?
>>13927856this reminds me of that pre-stroke photo
>>13928115women who eat hot chip & lie
>>13924825what the fuck is thatI'm colorblind but it looks like peas 'n' jizz... on toast
>>13927891it's definitely sugar. that stuff has a lot of energy and can even melt through a glass cooktop if you heat it up enough. just add nitrates and you have solid rocket fuel.
>>13928085this is like that stupid pizza video where the kids just keep adding shit like ice cream
>>13927833this gave me anxiety and angered me simultaneously
>>13928335maybe something like rice a roni I wonder if they add water and simmer after toasting the rice with egg
does anybody have the chicken in watermelon webm?
>>13927856>gravy in the spray bottle>watermark on the cakegets me every time
>>13926528This vis is so old I forgot the approximate year I first saw it. JESUS CHRIST, I can't remember if this is the vid he sets his place on fire and bugs out running, every so often you get a shot of 5ft high unwashed dishes and glasses in his sink, and a bunch more piled up on his floor.
>>13928077People put sugar in everything.>Go eat some savory dishes at some elses place>it tastes sweet >"Oh we put syrup in ours"ffs.I'm not even trying to be contrarian, I like sweet things but stop making EVERYTHING sweet.
>>13927853you have her posts with the cum cookies? or was it menstrual blood or something about baking bread with her own vaginal yeast?
>>13924711How do you accidentally create The first flame?
>>13924678Kay is not that much worse of a cook than my mum. I think my mum was just as bad as Kay when I was very young but she got better.
>>13928933It's mixed with charcoal from whatever she cooked previously.>>13927761Somehow she's still alive after all these years. I think she became some fat acceptance nutter and almost died.
>>13928124when he sees your lidl espresso machine
>>13924678This is what happens when you rely on your parents and grandparents to teach you in favour of teaching yourself with cookbooks
>>13927920I met two different black people who put ranch on their spaghetti, and I mean just dumped a bunch over the top similar to the sugar, so this doesn't surprise me. But I've never once seen or heard of anyone having ranch with their spaghetti since then so maybe its uncommon
>>13930621you're forgetting>one entire can of pineapple, grape and jelly each>using a fireplace shovel to serve food>crucible tongs
>>13927856>not posting the rest of the set
>>13927881I need answers about this guy in the back
>>13927856Every time I see this I find something new.
>>13930921...is that fish food flakes?
>>13928052Black people be like "muh seasonings"
>>13926147based on the ryan gosling copypasta
>>13930921What the fuck happened here though?
>>13930752HE CUTS THE PIE DISHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>>1393129760s jello "recipes"
>>13931390Explain the blue turkey then. Looks to me like a fucking horror show of a 'buffet' someone's deliberately done but I can't really understand if serious or not.
>>13928024Don't insult welsh cuisine like that. Laverbread is well lush
>>13931487>>13931530There's just something about these two images that gives them an uncanny valley effectEven when full sized and looking right at them, they almost feel computer generated.
Add me to this list because I just somehow fucked up making oatmeal and ended up with oat soup.
>>13931545just heat it more. liquid will evaporate and it will thicken
>>13926762>>13930647Links below for anyone morbidly curious about these gems:https://youtu.be/rdnQ0nO3AcYhttps://youtu.be/8Eg9ArFqxAk
Italians larpers prepare to REEEEE:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-I2LEB_AxY
>>13931877Oh no. I had already forgotten this abomination.
>>13927816oof, i bet that metal plate was hot too
>>13931482looks like they're ready to have their last meals
>>13928113that's probably very nutritious though...
>>13932339Yeah, that's some grade A retardation.
>>13930280i'm not colorblind and that's exactly what it looks like
>>13932339What was his plan in the first place?>Yeah, Imma fucking WWE slam that mofo back in there!
>>13931537Something I've always wondered about this photoshoot is if everyone actually ate the food afterwards.
>>13927881Bottom left is Chinese. I remember the story.
>>13932552Weren't they all on their way to their executions? That's what their faces seem to be saying, anyway.
>>13928113Placenta is formed from foetal tissue, so it would be more correct to say it is his child's placenta.
>>13928113is this technically cannibalism
>>13927842i did this once and was so bummed out i couldn't cook for like two weeks
>>13924678This guy remains unmatched https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-e5gTx1fVU4
>>13933023what the fuck
>>13927856>those spray bottles...
>>13933023Is that actually supposed to be a pizza or is it a shitpost in pizza form?
>>13933023>>13933161I still don't know what any of those ingredients are. Someone tell me.
>>13933023we love pizza brasileira
>>13933023>all that trash he throws in thereLmao. I also love smug he looks.
>>13933248>2 tsp of water and ketchup mix>3 pounds of brown rice>extremely generous double-coating of mayonaise >sprinkle of canned corn to finish it offThis must be the legendary brazilian pizza
>>13933264That whole video is "you mad bro." He knows what he's doing.
>>13932430what the fuck am I doing with my life
>>13933294i think that was tuna
>>13933243That’s in Brazil
>>13927674>>13926528You may not like it, but this is what peak YouTube content looks like
>>13933388Oh hell yeah. Masaokis is still my favorite content on youtube. There's just something magical about his insanity.
>>13933232Just looks like a gigaton of fucking cheese on top of ketchup packet's worth of tomato sauce
>>13925460their chips, you dumb fucking american
>>13926528>>13927674You can't convince me that he isn't pretending. There is or was a clip of him attempting to cook a steak by holding a lighter under it while the steak was placed on the brim of a toilet.
>>13933642He is. He's actually a fairly well to do lawyer who did that shit in some property he owned.
>>13933638we call them freedom fries in the first world
>>13924825mmm cummy peas on toast
>>13933642he's extremely autistic, same with his sister. watch the video with them in the dog. it's like watching aliens try to play with an animal and not really understanding what they're supposed to do.
>>13927674Oh Jesus. OH JESUS, MASAO IS STILL ALIVE???HOW????FUCKING HOW?????
>>13927906Any more? This ends on a cliffhanger.
>>13926147It would seem so.lurk moar FAGGOT
>>13924849THING IS Kay may be an actual fucking culinary genius and we wouldnt know it. Jack on the other hand is likely to 30% kill you and or himself.
>>13928079No. It was Hick Shark Tank.
>>13928142She's just Northen
>>13927871>Great big donkey dicks
>>13928318well thats fucking interesting
>>13931482You dont know shit about me Im a freakAint tryna hear shit that you say to me
>>13931326I had to hide your autism because it makes the thread look all fucky
>>13932858How is it not? It's 100% human tissue.
>>13927856I would really like to know the story behind this. I feel like it was a "make the weirdest dishes you can" potluck.
>>13934147it was. done by a photographer/artist typelook up 'male chef'
>>13933023What is it with Mexico/South America and eating incredibly unhealthy foods? They're obsessed with the absolute worst of American cuisine. Is it sabotage?
>>13927853>honey soaked beeswhat
>>13924700I would eat the fuck outta that.
>>13927856hack modern art at its most boring
>>13924678It looked like it was going to turn out edible.
>>13933248>>13933254what's brazil's obsession for putting corn on everything?
>>13934696corn and mayo
>>13934696>>13934704imagine being retarded.. now that is all you need to know about brazil. they can't even handle football
>>13924849How about killing myself? Sadly probably jacks.
>>13927856It looks like the food in my dreams
>>13933023Just to put the cherry ontop: he didn't wash his hands.
>>13927851Seems like a good dude.Hopefully he works on his health issue.
>>13934863You're the butt of the joke here buddy. Sort yourself out.
>>13928479No. Charlie took milk steak boiled over hard with jelly beans on the side not on top if I remember correctly
This thread is worse than any real gore thread. I don't even dare to click on most of the webms.
Pasi Viheraho is a treasure trovehttps://youtu.be/oMDr78mrRm8
>>13931487>Thanksgiving 1992>steve jobs bookHmmmmmm