/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.13909532]

Have you ever had Scottish food?

[Anonymous No.13909615]

Why do Scottish people pretend to talk funny on Twitter?

[Anonymous No.13909622]

>>13909532
i ate something in the american northeast called a "fatbag" - imagine a calzone except deep fried and made with doughnut dough

so i feel that i understand the scots on a spiritual level

[Anonymous No.13909634]

>>13909615

Because if people say they don't understand it, then they'll be made fun of.

Its like wanting to join a special club, but not meeting the entry requirements.
Then the members all make fun of you for being a wannabe.

[Anonymous No.13909636]

I had a fried mars bar once. Wouldn't recommend.
>>13909615
They actually talk like that.

[Anonymous No.13909642]

>>13909636
>They actually talk like that.
Yes, but why do they take the time to phonetically type out words the same way they mispronounce them? Seems like attention whoring to me.

[Anonymous No.13909646]

I've had scotch eggs which were great, also had neeps and patties which was just kind of bad and haggis which was god awful.

[Anonymous No.13909699]

>>13909532
I'd bet this would be kind of good, I'd try it.

[Anonymous No.13909956]

>>13909615
They feel the need to constantly make it known that they're Scottish and definitely not English. Think they know deep down that the differences between Scots/English/Welsh/Irish are miniscule

[Anonymous No.13909974]

>>13909615
>pretend

anon that gibberish is their actual native tongue.

[Anonymous No.13909992]

>>13909642
they are using the correct spellings for the Scots language actually.

[Anonymous No.13909999]

>>13909532
>english food
random ingredients haphazardly strewn about in the most unpleasant way possible

>scottish food
english food, but deep fried

[Anonymous No.13910066]

>>13909974
Yes, but why do they take the time to phonetically type out words the same way they mispronounce them?

[Anonymous No.13910068]

>>13909532
Do Americans really?

[Anonymous No.13910079]

>>13910066
see
>>13909992

its literally how they learned to spell the words not something they painstakingly do

[Anonymous No.13910090]

>>13910079
>its literally how they learned to spell the words not something they painstakingly do
Yea, I don't believe you. Why learn the English language the wrong way?

[Anonymous No.13910098]

Only Glasgow fags actually speak like that and think spelling that way is acceptable.

Scotland doesn’t have much notable cuisine, but some of the worlds best ingredients. Beef, fish, shellfish, potatoes etc

[Anonymous No.13910100]

>>13910090
Scots isn't English has its own seperate dictionaries and everything

[Anonymous No.13910106]

>>13910100
What a bunch of genetic failures lmao

[Anonymous No.13910128]

>>13910106
>hey everyone doesn't speak the same as me, what fuckheads.

[Anonymous No.13910135]

>>13910128
Yes. Learn English. It's the correct language. Why learn the wrong language?

[Anonymous No.13910463]

its alright

[Anonymous No.13910482]

>>13910090
That's how every country does it. Not having a go or trying to start flag wars, but Americans did the same thing, it's how American English as a concept came about in the first place. It's like how if you go to Japan and say, "One ice cream, please," they'll look at you confused, but if you say, "Wan issu cureamu pureasu," they'll understand perfectly; it isn't solely an accent thing, Engrish has become its own thing. This isn't limited to our language either, South American Spanish is quite different to native Spanish, and I've heard South Americans mocking Spaniards for the way they speak and vice-versa. It's just how etymology works. Jocks hold into Scots because it makes them feel more special and unique rather than accepting that England made them its bitch.

[Anonymous No.13910604]

I had a nice scotch egg in England, but I heard somewhere those aren't really Scottish, so I can't say for sure.

[Anonymous No.13910606]

Heroin?

[Anonymous No.13910637]

>>13910482
The spelling differences between England and America are solely because Noel Webster had a bold vision for streamlining spelling. His vision was diluted then adopted nationally, and really achieved nothing significant. A waste of time, but we're stuck with his bullshit now. Those silent letters remain in UK English not because they are pronounced in modern English, but because that's the way the words have long been spellled and nobody made a deliberate attempt to alter that.

[Anonymous No.13912087]

To be fayre, picking up a curry bridie, a macaroni bridie and a trad bridie from the all night bakery to soak up 7 pints of 80 after a Texas gig is based.

[Anonymous No.13912090]

i eat mcdonalds everyday

[Anonymous No.13912236]

>>13909532
I AM FUCKING SICK OF YOU WHITE PIGS. STOP SPREADING THIS SHIT LIKE ANY OF YOU UNSEASONED CRAP IS CULTURE.

BE ASHAMED OF BEING WHITE.

OR I'LL HAVE MY MOD FRIENDS BAN YOU.

LAST WARNING.

[Anonymous No.13912257]

>>13910090
It's literally another language dumbfuck. Ever heard of Trainspotting? The entire book is in scottish.

[Anonymous No.13912899]

>>13909532
Kay's cooking, the prophecy, it all makes sense now..

[Anonymous No.13912930]

>>13909992
There is no such thing. It was made up by a bunch of leftist socialists to try and make Scotland seem as seperate from the rest of the UK as possible to splinter it off into a socialist state within the EU as a region.

[Anonymous No.13912944]

>>13909615
It's called writing in the vernacular

[Anonymous No.13912946]

>>13909646
Scotch eggs aren't Scottish though. They're an English thing, from Yorkshire.

[Anonymous No.13912950]

>>13910482
>"Wan issu cureamu pureasu,"
laughed out loud at this

[Anonymous No.13912955]

Scottish food mostly consists of black pudding haggis and turnips

Deep-fried is a meme.

But generally speaking the most common people just eat Chinese takeaways and McDonald's here

We have been completely raped and americanised.

[Anonymous No.13912993]

>>13912955
Countless years trying to fend off the english menace that you got corrupted by other cultures.

[Anonymous No.13913025]

Why don't Scottish men wash their foreskins? I've never had a good experience with a Scottish guy without a little funk down there.

[Anonymous No.13913284]

>>13909615
ah wit do yew hink yoor tawking aboot anon ya wee bampot haha i hope ladbible sees this

[Anonymous No.13914415]

>>13913284
*wit ya talkin aboot

[Anonymous No.13914632]

>>13914415
tink he's saein dat he has fuck all clue aboot whit's ga'n on

[Anonymous No.13914678]

>>13913025
Because you're supposed to wash it for him. Get on your knees, anon

[Anonymous No.13914702]

>>13909532
Scotch whisky, Scotch ale, Scottish tea.
Yet to eat Buckfast.

[Anonymous No.13916017]

>>13912930
you tell em bro, scotland isn't a real place, it's those damn lefty commies trying to change history.

[Anonymous No.13916036]

>>13909999
>Literally just put common items on a plate
>Sausage, black pudding, bacon, toast, tomatos, mushrooms, eggs
>THAT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING YOUR FODD IS SHIT
You lot are fucking idiots

[Anonymous No.13916046]

>>13909532
I've been to a couple of Burns Night dinners here in the US, but that probably doesn't count.

[Anonymous No.13916052]

I want to cook a good haggis is that difficult?

[Anonymous No.13916069]

>>13909992
Absolute bollocks. They talk like that because they're SNP trolls trying to look 'kewl' on Twitter. And they don't talk like that in reality, either. All 100% affected and made up.

[Anonymous No.13916072]

>>13909532
> Scottish food
Apart from stuffing organs and heads into or with oats, there's no such thing.

[Anonymous No.13916381]

>>13910463
I hate the cuisine of any culture that thinks piling multiple mounds of mush on one plate makes a decent meal. The only places I can think with food like that are from scots and from certain African cultures like Ethiopians. They'll serve flavorless mash with soupy spiced mash as a meal. Gross. At least the Ethiopian food has more flavor...

Who the fuck thought pairing mash with mash and mash would hit the spot? What soulless cunt agreed with them?

[Anonymous No.13917103]

>>13909634
>wanting to join the down syndrome club

Nah

[Anonymous No.13917132]

I've read this thread twice and no-one has really discussed the Scottish produce very much beyond haggis. There's lots.

[Anonymous No.13917168]

>>13916381
Feels good to eat that stuff when it's cold all year around

[Anonymous No.13917181]

>>13909532
Cockaleekie soup is good

[Anonymous No.13917217]

>>13912257
No it isn't...
"Scots" is *literally* English spelled so as to correspond phonetically with its Scottish dialects. It's a folk convention, born out of the times before English spelling was officially standardized, and it only survives today because it was deliberately preserved by butthurt Scottish nationalists who chafed that London should dictate how they write.
It's laik if Ai speld laik this tu rait Amerikaen Inglish

[Anonymous No.13918147]

Disney likes it enough to put it into their billion dollar tentpole

[Anonymous No.13918157]

>>13916052
Haggis is just sausage.meat, cook it accordingly

[Anonymous No.13918159]

better than anything May has been making

[Anonymous No.13918169]

>>13909532

[Anonymous No.13918192]

>>13909646
only haggis is totally scottish,I'm from cockermouth and had both the other two since I was a boy. Neeps and tatties is just swede or parsnip mashed with potatoes, like regular mash it depends how you prepare it, can be really good or really bad.

[Anonymous No.13918208]

>>13917132
Such as? Square sausages, tatty scones and whisky?

[Anonymous No.13918225]

>>13918169
>"vegan" haggis
Fuck off with your cancerous faggotry.

[Anonymous No.13919569]

>>13918169
haha rape seed :)

[Anonymous No.13920349]

>>13916036
Based

[Anonymous No.13920399]

>>13909642
I've literally had this discussion with my Scottish girlfriend (who doesn't actually type like that). She says it's how people who talk like that actually think of the words in their head. For them the adjustment is to write in "normal" English, they just spell the words phonetically under normal circumstances.

Which matches >>13909992 , because actually Scots is to a large extent normal english in a scottish accent spelled phonetically

[Anonymous No.13920404]

>>13920399
Phonetic spelling is often not what you would expect. It's especially obvious when you look at phonetic spelling for languages like Chinese and Japanese. But the tradition dates back to phonetic spelling of Latin words. Your boyfriend has a restricted perspective.

[Anonymous No.13920451]

>>13918208
I'd kill for some square sausages rn

[Anonymous No.13921375]

>>13918192
Heh "cockermouth"

[Anonymous No.13921377]

>>13909532
yes I've eaten fried chicken before

[Anonymous No.13921480]

>>13918169
Do you dumbfucks have to use baby words for everything?

[Anonymous No.13921497]

>>13917217
>It's a folk convention, born out of the times before English spelling was officially standardized, and it only survives today because it was deliberately preserved by butthurt Scottish nationalists
So you mean it’s traditional and is being perpetuated by people who love their country and want to preserve its traditions? Sounds based to me. Go back to sucking immigrant cock, liberal.

[Anonymous No.13921520]

>>13920404
What does the phonetic spelling of Chinese and Japanese have to do with Scots you filthy weeaboo? Scots is written pretty much exactly how you'd pronounce it. The only difference are a couple of old letters that didn't exist in the Latin alphabet for English and so were substituted with the ones they *looked* rather than sounded the most similar too.

[Anonymous No.13921522]

>>13916036
i'd eat the scottish, deep fried version of this. sounds disgusting otherwise

[Anonymous No.13921636]

>>13909615
That's actually how they talk.

t. Scottish

[Anonymous No.13921698]

>>13918169
Vegans are retarded.

[Anonymous No.13921819]

>>13921497
Taking the broadest possible view of history, illiteracy is leagues more traditional than any writing system. Anyway, if you knew anything about the modern Scots, you'd know that fag-loving, white-bashing, and God-hating tends to rise in proportion with nationalist sentiment, rather than the other way round. Hollow appeals to tradition are employed by the right hand as a cynical bludgeon against the English, while the left hand beckons the masses of Asia and Africa. Fuck Scotland.

[Anonymous No.13921901]

>>13916036
Starting to think brits exclusively eat breakfast

[Anonymous No.13921918]

>>13921819
But the SNP with its clever vague stance on every issue ever, stole a lot of Tory voters. Scottish Tories are quite shit, the only Scottish party with a more embarrassing performance than them is Labour.

[Anonymous No.13921925]

>>13918169
That looks like the nutriloaf shit they feed to prisoners here

[Anonymous No.13921940]

>>13921819
>Taking the broadest possible view of history, illiteracy is leagues more traditional than any writing system
Yeah and i’d support it if it meant keeping idiots like you away from the international

[Anonymous No.13921948]

>>13921925
It probably taste like that too. Vegans are so delusional.

[Anonymous No.13921950]

>>13909992
Then how come it isn't always the same? And how come they only started doing that on Twitter in the last couple of years?
Face it, they do that shit to get in Ladbible.

[Anonymous No.13921959]

>>13921950
Those people don't know how to write the Scots of Burns etc., they were never really taught it. They just speak it and then spell as they speak. Same thing london mandem do.

[Anonymous No.13921964]

>ITT: seething jealousy of scotts

[Anonymous No.13921976]

>>13921964
Imagine being jealous of the Scots. That would be the lowest of the low.

[Anonymous No.13921979]

>>13921976
Read the thread, it's full of it.

[Anonymous No.13921991]

The only other dialect I can think of where they type everything phonetically and don't bother to learn the actual spellings is ebonics, because half of them are borderline illiterate and the other half care deeply about fitting into a culture

Makes a lot of sense here actually

[Anonymous No.13921994]

>>13916036
>toast, eggs, mushrooms on the same plate
>somehow thinks this is not disgusting
More civilised people use a few ingredients + spices to bring out the flavor. The british, ironically having no understanding of how to spice food, just throw in more incompatible flavours.

[Anonymous No.13922009]

>>13921976
It's usually butt-devastated English non-Londoners (because Londoners never even think about places outside of London) who are mad they had to assimilate and lose their local culture centuries ago and are jealous of Scottish identity.

[Anonymous No.13922019]

>>13921994
Honestly, no, I'm too mad and this post doesn't convey it properly: what the FUCK is the connection between mushroom and eggs? How do the flavour profiles MATCH IN ANY WAY? How much of a DAFT, RETARDED, TASTEBUDLESS cunt do you have to be to mix such incompatible ingredients??????

[Anonymous No.13922030]

>>13922019
Mushroom omelettes are tasty

Anyone who goes on about "flavor profiles" is either a Michelin chef or a turboautist

[Anonymous No.13922052]

>>13917217
This. It's just the usual Scots thing (you see this in their 'cuisine', too) of hyping up some meaningless pleb bollocks, pretending it's part of their 'culture'. I mean, go from Scotland to England and the only sign you'll see is some tiny little marker on a bridge after Berwick. Go the other way and its some gay-arse fucking fanfare of giant 'WELCOME TO SCOTLAND!' signs and endless saltires with hordes of fucking tourists standing around like tits taking photos of basically nothing. That's the Scots for you - making a giant big nothingburger of fucking everything since the poxy Union Acts. This is why we just mainly point and laugh at them. The UK equivalent of some old, washed up drag queen who wouldn't know 'culture' if you lubed it and stuck it up their arse.

[Anonymous No.13922062]

>>13922030
>Mushroom omelettes are tasty
They are spiritually vomit inducing. Omelettes are essentially bland sponges because of the egg white, and mushrooms are savoury flavour enhancers for meats (although they can work with some other veggies). They don't violate your senses by being unpleasant, they don't contrast one another, they don't fit together: they just show a total lack of creativety on the chef/cook's part; It's the culinary equivalent of only liking to have sex in missionary with the lights off for reproduction.

If you like mushroom omelettes, consider sparing the chicken's the trouble of shitting out eggs in the first place and just eat a piece of cardboard with mushrooms on top.

[Anonymous No.13922082]

>>13922052
That's just because Northumbria and the North was cucked out of it's culture/identity m8. If anything, it's even more cringe-worthy to see Yorkshire-folk bang on about muh yorksher.

[Anonymous No.13922086]

>>13922062
Mushrooms go with fried eggs, with runny yolks not with omelettes. If you want them in an omelet you need to add something like parsley or bacon to make it interesting.

[Anonymous No.13922097]

>>13922062
You either don’t really like mushrooms or eggs, otherwise the combination would make instinctive sense to you. Get over yourself, fucking autist. Mushrooms and eggs are a combination found in several European cuisines (not just bong) and other world cuisines.

[Anonymous No.13922104]

>>13922062
What a horrible post and taste.

[Anonymous No.13922114]

>>13922019
Why does there have to be a connection? Sometimes a contrast is desirable.

[Anonymous No.13922126]

Is he super Hans

[Anonymous No.13922176]

>>13922086
>>13922097
>>13922104
>>13922114
Please educate yourselves on the models/theories of flavour before replying to my post again with your tasteless hot takes.

>Why does there have to be a connection? Sometimes a contrast is desirable.
A contrast IS a connection! Salt water taffy works because of a contrast, for instance! Salt and choccy milk work together because the salt brings out the choccy's flavour, although you'd not normally associate any of the flavours with one another.

>Mushrooms go with frieds eggs, with runny yolks not with omelettes.
Partially true. Mushrooms, as a whole, do not go with eggs, as a whole, because the spongy and/or tasteless white (even if spiced) has no flavour for the mushroom to bring out and dampens the mouthfeel of the mushrooms. Mushrooms AND runny egg yolk (specifically runny egg yolk) may work together with other ingredients, like bacon as you mentioned, although I think that's very preference-dependent and cannot be classified as universally "tasty" (unlike something like a melted cheese sandwich, for instance).

>You (...) don't really like mushrooms or eggs
This has nothing to do with my personal likes or dislikes. A very simple, very crude, very accessible analysis of the flavour profiles at play will tell you that mushrooms and eggs don't mix, plain and simple.

>Get over yourself, fucking autist. Mushrooms and eggs are a combination found in several European cuisines (not just bong) and other world cuisines.
Popularity isn't a measure of taste in any field. I suggest YOU get over yourself, just because you're too uneducated to understand the points I'm making and probably enjoy eating your sow of a mother's bland british goop doesn't mean other people should.

[Anonymous No.13922184]

>>13922176
Thanks for proving my point about being a turboautist

[Anonymous No.13922200]

>>13922176
>choccy milk
Never reply to me ever again.

[Anonymous No.13922206]

>>13922184
>Hurr you're a turboautist why do you care about how food tastes on the cooking board bro?? Lol I'm just here to post epic memes like LE HAGGIS XD on the scottish food thread why are you trying to educate my uncultured ass on how I should be eating BRO I just like my mushroom with eggs BRO XD hahaha yeah it doesn't really taste like anything but I just eat it because I always ate it hahaha XD omg are those CRISPS :o I love MASS PRODUCED CRISPS FULL OF SALT AND PRESERVATIVES :o omg walkers are my FAVOURITE this is so refined it even says shrimp on the package broooo these are delicious XD what?? i can like whatever i want bro WHO CARES ABOUT FLAVOUR PROFILES XD
This is you. This is what you sound like.

[Anonymous No.13922248]

>>13922176

Absolutely shit advice.

Mushrooms and eggs is a famous variation. Just sounds like you have sensory autism and hate the way something 'feels' in your mouth AND you're shit at cooking mushrooms.

You just sound like you're maximum coping over the fact mushrooms and eggs is a popular dish (hint: people like the way it tastes) and you're fighting against the world claiming it's all lies and they're wrong because of something very trivial.

Also putting salt in 'choccy milk'? LMAO dude I bet you think you're the cooking guy in your group. What next? Making a sweet and sour combination floats?

[Anonymous No.13922336]

>>13922248
Why do I bother? I've presented a simple explanation of why eggs and mushrooms don't fit together twice now, and you still don't understand.

This is the last time I'll explain, in a retard-proof manner:
- The 'mouthfeel' of food is very important. Compare eating a boiled skinned potato vs a potato purée made from that same boiled potato. It has nothing to do with autism.

- Being popular =/=> being good. People "liking" mushrooms and eggs is an illusion due to not knowing any better. If they knew better, they wouldn't like it. It's just resistance to change and being used to always eating the same way without trying new things.

- Putting a pinch of salt in chocolate milk (because apparently it's the word choccy triggers the autists >>13922200 of /ck/, not the fact that 99% of the people here wouldn't know FLAVOUR if it hit them in the face) is one of the most well-known culinary "tricks" ever. Have you tried it, or are you just disparaging it because you're clearly losing this culinary battle to any neutral observer?

[Anonymous No.13922543]

>>13922336
>The 'mouthfeel' of food is very important

[Anonymous No.13922587]

>>13922543
Ok, I'm willing to debate: why is it not important?

[Anonymous No.13922713]

>Scottish food
Who here /munchybox/?

[Anonymous No.13923936]

>>13916052
Why would you want to eat haggis at all?

[Anonymous No.13924054]

>>13916036
noone said that particular thing is disgusting, it's just not a dish. It's a random assortment of things.

imagine taking oreos, crackers, putting them in the same plate, and then calling it a "cream on the cobbly". that's what anglo cuisine is.

[Anonymous No.13924756]

>>13924054
hmmm

[Anonymous No.13924818]

>>13909532
richard hammond is a little insect from hell

[Anonymous No.13926855]

>>13924756
I like this and scottish food

[Anonymous No.13926888]

>>13909532
I want to try a Scotch egg

>>13909615
It's called Scots I believe

[Anonymous No.13927278]

>>13922062
>Literally a turbo autist.
Go go!
Scream more!

[Anonymous No.13927384]

*crashes*

[Anonymous No.13927797]

>>13912236
take yer meds, bud.