/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.13892996]

>wakes up the entire neighbourhood at midnight
Pshh... Nothin personnel... Kid...

[Anonymous No.13893003]

>not living alone

[Anonymous No.13893124]

>>13893003
ikr, what kind of poors don't own their own neighbourhood?

[Anonymous No.13893521]

>>13892996
>>13892996
Only fat kids knew how to open these silently at 2am.

[Anonymous No.13893543]

>be me
>living with schoolteacher gf
>weekday night
>shes already asleep
>im getting blasted playing vidya until 2am
>grab delicious store bought pumpkin pie from kitchen
>retire to bedroom
>silently climb into bed
>drunkenly open pie cover right next to sleeping gf
>CCRRRAAACKK
>feel gf move
>dont care, start digging into pie like an animal
>several bites in
>see light behind me
>gf is checking phone to see what time it is
>"are you fucking kidding me?"
>say nothing, just start laughing
>she sighs, pulls blanket over head
>put pie down and go to sleep
>we break up a month later
if only my drunk ass opened it in the kitchen

[Anonymous No.13893546]

>>13893521
It was pretty simple, really. You'd take it under the dining room table, not on the counter, and work your way around popping the rim up partially, then fully on the second pass. With practice, you can get it done in under 30 seconds.

[Anonymous No.13893547]

>>13892996
>ou

[Anonymous No.13893550]

>>13892996
>not knowing how to flay open your entire family by their throats so you can enjoy your sugary treats without worry

[Anonymous No.13893551]

>>13893543
You dodged a bullet. I don't see why what you did was a big deal. Maybe find a gf who sleeps like a brick.

[Anonymous No.13893558]

>>13893551
>Maybe find a gf who sleeps like a brick.
Maybe find a girlfriend who has a dick, FTFY