/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.13867269]

W-welcome back to Apocolypse Cooking with Alice3D!
/ck/'s only underground/banned Cooking Show, too SIZZLING for /ck/ mods!

Hopefully you are h-holding up in quarantine, staying safe and well f-fed, but if you need a l-little bit of cooking instruction, I've got some hot, tasty meals that are easy t-to make and cheap to boot <4

Let's cook together, Anonymous <4

[Anonymous No.13867279]

[Anonymous No.13867285]

Please god lady stop saying <4 it genuinely brings me rage and the stuttering, jesus christ.

[Anonymous No.13867290]

>>13867285
I'm v-very happy to hear that <4


Okay, so for the ingredients:
-8 medium sized lamb chops
-1/4c Olive Oil
-3 lemon slices (thin)
-2 medium cloves of garlic, crushed
-1 tsp dried oregano
-1 tsp salt
-1/2 tsp ground black pepepr
https://voca.ro/fzVFDrxoqv4

[Anonymous No.13867302]

>>13867269
Just fuck off already you dumb retarded attention seeking tranny

[Anonymous No.13867304]

>>13867290
i want you to know that i would not be sad if you died tonight

[Anonymous No.13867305]

>>13867302
S-sorry, don't like attention <4 Try somewhere else, ok?

[test No.13867310]

Go die in a fire you giant nigger faggot

[Anonymous No.13867320]

>>13867304
Okay <4


Alright, w-we're going to do these next steps RAPID FIRE!

F-first step, we are just gonna take our garlic and CRUSH IT! Remember the card crusher? Am I old for remembering this meme? Whatever!

You can use a glass or jar if you have that handy. Super simple!
https://voca.ro/o88syMeJHNY

[Anonymous No.13867331]

This would be a lot better without the stuttering

[Anonymous No.13867337]

The fuck is wrong with Americans

[Anonymous No.13867341]

stupid whore. women should not be allowed on the internet without a male superior guarding them.

[Anonymous No.13867343]

>>13867331
S-sorry to displease <4


Okay, now we are gonna critique my knife skills while I cut this lemon into thin slices. T-they're always getting better, I assure you!

https://voca.ro/i4kuuxALWXY

[Anonymous No.13867348]

>>13867269
Fuck off you boring attention whore.

[Anonymous No.13867354]

>>13867348
>>13867341
>>13867337
>>13867310
>>13867304
>>13867302
>>13867285
I didn't know the recipe called for this much salt.

[Anonymous No.13867356]

>>13867341
>>13867348
Thank you f-for your constructive criticism <4


>>13867354
Haha!

[test No.13867361]

>>13867354
simp

[Anonymous No.13867363]

I want Alice to tuck me in bed

[Anonymous No.13867371]

>>13867361
N-not sure how pointing out you are salty m-makes him a simp <4

>>13867363
Is it your bed t-time? I c-could read you a story maybe..


In this short step, we are gonna put the olive oil into the bag that will hold our marinade. This g-gives it a nice fluid t-to diffuse all the delicious flavor through <4


https://voca.ro/cPWUS2ZBxsE (embed)

[test No.13867376]

>>13867354

[Anonymous No.13867382]

>>13867371
He has the emotional capacity of a gnat, of course he resorts to using buzzwords.

[Anonymous No.13867386]

>>13867361
>>13867376
You still have your name on, dipshit.

[Anonymous No.13867388]

Image being a schitzo and bumping this thread so many times giving OP more attention

Lmao @ you

[Anonymous No.13867390]

>>13867382
*shrugs* F-fair enough!

>>13867388
You uh....you j-just bumped me buddy.
But let me correct you, I'm n-not doing this for attention <4


Throw in the lemon slices now...
https://voca.ro/d98Te6nShUE

[test No.13867394]

>>13867386
you still have her shit around your mouth, asskisser

[Anonymous No.13867396]

>>13867390
Never said you were just saying the schitzo is freaking out like they always do

Also bring back the maid outfit

[Anonymous No.13867399]

>>13867396
I t-think you'll like the outfit at the end~

[Anonymous No.13867412]

Next is the garlic~
(These are all very easy steps.)
(oh god maybe I made this too easy)
(don't think about it dont think about it dontthinkaboutit)
https://voca.ro/f6Fje4M0bkf (embed)

[Anonymous No.13867428]

I LOVE YOU ALICE~~

[Anonymous No.13867440]

>>13867428
Love you t-too <4 But please d-don't just shout things like this...I'd m-much prefer if we had an on topic discussion, okay?
Then the oregano~ Throw it right in there.
J-just because it is easy doesn't make it not vital!

https://voca.ro/a0mCkr08nWZ

[Anonymous No.13867457]

Salt and peppah! Toss em in, f-for flavor

Make sure to kinda squish the bag around the mix the marinade, you w-want to get it evenly distributed s-so that the marinade can use osmosis to season the meat <4
https://voca.ro/luFNzm5pm5B

[Anonymous No.13867473]

Time to add the peppah! Super easy steps, PROBABLY could have combined some of these...
https://voca.ro/luFNzm5pm5B

[Anonymous No.13867491]

Finally, the lamb chops!
Throw those right in and give them a good squishing. G-give em a good squeeze t-to get some osmosis flowing <4
https://voca.ro/1ZZc7XY47mF

[Anonymous No.13867500]

What's up with you niggers hating OC?

[Anonymous No.13867511]

but i don't have lamb chops at home, Alice

[Anonymous No.13867516]

>>13867511
T-that's fine <4 Lamb and mutton are cheap and p-plentiful!

Alright! Let the marinade do it's thang~

You should let it marinate for about 20 minutes to 4 hours, you don't wanna go over that or the lamb will be overseasoned.
https://voca.ro/oHvb802BZ9i

[Anonymous No.13867530]

>>13867516
i sense a british columbia accent

[Anonymous No.13867535]

>>13867530
No.

[Anonymous No.13867536]

>>13867530
Jersey and NYC, b-but close...ish!


Remove the chops from the bag into a hot skillet where you will sear them real nice.

B-be sure to evenly sear both sides and t-the fat if there is any!
https://voca.ro/cBpaMhu04zN

[Anonymous No.13867543]

>>13867536
>putting steaks into a cold pan

i hope you removed the steaks before heating it up, and THEN put the steaks back in once it was up to temp

but i guess we'll see when you post the sear.

[Anonymous No.13867546]

>>13867535
lauren southern sounds exactly like that

[Anonymous No.13867548]

Finally! The cooking part!

Sear them on each side for about 3 minutes. This is an important step so that the juices will stay trapped inside that yummy piece of lamb.
https://voca.ro/jdgUv4FnbV8

Bake the chops in the oven (preferably in the same pan as you seared them in) for 8-10 minutes or until they are 140F in the thickest part.
https://voca.ro/oQOHJmN8FsD

[Anonymous No.13867553]

>>13867548
What the fuck that looks terrible
Did you boil it you absolute retard

[Anonymous No.13867558]

>>13867548
bitch that shit be looking abysmal

[Anonymous No.13867561]

>>13867548
That sear is embarrassing.


Grey is NOT a fucking sear.

The SMALL bits of brown are, but that should be the color on the ENTIRE surface.

[Anonymous No.13867566]

Awright awright chaps, dis thread is too silly, move along move along
Here's the dish now move along nothing to see here

MOVE ALONG
https://voca.ro/3XUE5IKWElr

[Anonymous No.13867576]

What are you all still doing here?!
Surely there is something less silly to look at on this board!
Move along at once, there's a good chap!
https://voca.ro/mp2mlZGHCbj

[Anonymous No.13867579]

Out of the way niggers, posting in a based thread here

[Anonymous No.13867583]

>>13867566
>>13867576
Jesus fucking cringe, just fuck off already tranny

[Anonymous No.13867591]

>>13867548
Learn how to sear meat you dumb bitch

Probably your shit tier pan that's hindering you

[Anonymous No.13867592]

>>13867548
Alex where can I send you $15 so you can buy a new pan so you don't have to keep going through people's garbage to find cookware?

[Anonymous No.13867595]

BASED BASED BASED BASED

[Anonymous No.13867597]

>>13867530
it's a reddit accent

[Anonymous No.13867598]

>>13867269
idc if this is a man, this is cute af, nohomo

[Anonymous No.13867600]

>>13867305
>posts the same thread on 8 boards
>b-but I'm not looking for attention

Have you ever not told a lie in your life?

[Anonymous No.13867601]

>>13867597
this is a poster from /b/ not a redditor idiot

[Anonymous No.13867604]

Fuck off you attention whoring tranny prick.

[Anonymous No.13867608]

>>13867601
only been posting since 2011, reddit was an established community at that time, it could be from reddit you newfag moron.

[Anonymous No.13867610]

>>13867601
/b/ is reddit without profiles.

[Anonymous No.13867611]

>>13867600
How does A imply B?
posting on many boards isn't indicative of wanting attention necessarily

[Anonymous No.13867612]

>>13867598
Faggot

[Anonymous No.13867613]

>>13867516
make something tasty for people who horded rice, beans, tomaots and sardines plz

[Anonymous No.13867619]

>>13867611
It absolutely does you mental patient

[Anonymous No.13867622]

>>13867612
sounds like a girl, looks like a girl, basically acts like a girl. I cant say she's not cute at least?

[Anonymous No.13867625]

>>13867591
This. On a board full of guys who can't cook, Alex is the worst guy cook.

[Anonymous No.13867629]

>>13867619
it absolutely does not, huh?
there are a whole WORLD of reasons to post on multiple boards, your lack of imagination isn't compelling

[Anonymous No.13867631]

>>13867579
Dressed like some interdimensional Nazi to boot!

[Anonymous No.13867633]

>>13867625
alice is a girl

[Anonymous No.13867634]

>>13867290
t-thats a big portion !! how many guys are you living with REEEEEEE !!!

[Anonymous No.13867640]

>>13867622
>sounds like a girl
No

>looks like a girl
No

>acts like a girl
Yes but XX chromosomes make you a girl, not pretending to be one

[Anonymous No.13867644]

>>13867640
>sounds like a girl
yes, you can hear her right now -> https://www.twitch.tv/celtyplays

>looks like a girl
yes, only retards couldn't tell

>acts like a girl
yep

>has XX
yep, prove me wrong faggot

[Anonymous No.13867646]

>>13867629
Your mental illness is disturbing

[Anonymous No.13867650]

>>13867640
low test simp

[Anonymous No.13867654]

>>13867644
Fuck off tranny

[Anonymous No.13867655]

>>13867646
your lack of imagination isn't compelling

[Anonymous No.13867656]

>>13867633
No he isn't

[Anonymous No.13867658]

This thread is now all about cute bats.

[Anonymous No.13867660]

>>13867644
>https://www.twitch.tv/celtyplays
what the hell man, is this what zoomers are like? i'm gen-x and stopped talking to people a decade ago so i'm a little out of touch.

[Anonymous No.13867661]

>>13867656
That's not Alice.

[Anonymous No.13867663]

>>13867656
yes, she is, and that doesn't even closely resemble her lmao

[Anonymous No.13867668]

>>13867656
Fucking gross.

[Anonymous No.13867672]

>>13867660
alice is a millenial

[Anonymous No.13867681]

>>13867660
she's early millenial so probably in her late 20s early 30s

[Anonymous No.13867705]

[Anonymous No.13867733]

>every alice thread descends into her beta orbiters chewing the scenery in her defense

pottery, etc

[Anonymous No.13867738]

>>13867681
She's 26.

[Anonymous No.13867743]

coof coof coo

[Anonymous No.13867773]

>>13867644

that voice could be male, it's certainly not what I was expecting at all. it's not that I haven't known women who sound like that but they were all kind of higher-T athena-type women as opposed to your lower-T aprohdite type women. it's like a butch librarian's voice. thanks, this was weird.

that chad she's playing with sounds hot tho.

[Anonymous No.13867778]

>>13867773
that voice is very obviously female.

[Anonymous No.13867796]

>>13867778
you have obviously never spoken to an actual female

[Anonymous No.13867798]

>>13867796
No u if you think that isn't female lmao

[Anonymous No.13867811]

L-look how kawaii I am g-guiz.

[Anonymous No.13867824]

>>13867798
I bet Alice hasn't even sent you a crotch shot

[Anonymous No.13867828]

>>13867320
>Already peeled garlic in a bag
What the fuck? I really hate to be that guy but... do Americans really? Fucking hell how lazy do you have to be?

[Anonymous No.13867850]

>>13867269
Please show me your navel

[Anonymous No.13867855]

>>13867269
thats a diude

[Anonymous No.13867856]

>>13867811
*coof*

[Anonymous No.13867867]

>>13867798
i'm a gynecologist

[Anonymous No.13867874]

>>13867269
Please stop posting.

[Anonymous No.13867875]

>>13867874
Nope <4

[Anonymous No.13867879]

>>13867867
ok boomer

[Anonymous No.13867936]

>>13867773
she's also bisexual

[Anonymous No.13867939]

>>13867936
of course

[Anonymous No.13867954]

>>13867936
If you can believe anything he says. I believe nothing he says.

[Anonymous No.13867955]

>>13867939
of course

[Anonymous No.13868013]

>>13867269
I wish you used a tripcode, so I could filter you and your awful cooking out.

[Anonymous No.13868044]

>>13868013
auto hide posts with alice3d and <4

[Anonymous No.13868240]

>>13867269
Hello Alice! Hope ur feeling better, keep up the good work

[Anonymous No.13868258]

>>13868240
Thanks a l-lot <4

>>13867954
And you can fuck off <4

>>13868013
No thanks <4

[Anonymous No.13868353]

>>13868044
nah

[Anonymous No.13868464]

lol

[Anonymous No.13868555]

Hey Alice I'm in NYC too hmu I'll let you murder me

[Anonymous No.13868559]

>>13868555
I d-don't want that.

[Anonymous No.13868569]

>>13868258
Let's get back to talking about your rng options pricing. Why not just do the statistics analytically? Is it too tough?

[Anonymous No.13868574]

>>13868569
I d-don't use RNG option pricing. We use monte carlo methods. They aren't the same.

[Anonymous No.13868577]

Do you want to be friends, Alice?

[Anonymous No.13868578]

>>13868559
Fine I'll let you cook me some food then

[Anonymous No.13868581]

>>13868577
Sure <4

>>13868578
No thank you.

[Anonymous No.13868584]

>>13868574
It's using rng to do hard statistics. I use Monte Carlo methods to compute statistical stack ups. I know the hustle, we can drop the facade.

[Anonymous No.13868587]

>>13868584
I know, you s-said so before. I just am not going to agree with you.

Monte Carlo methods aren't necessarily in the complexity class that randomized algorithms are; it depends on the implementation and if annealing is used.

[Anonymous No.13868604]

>>13868581
Okay, how do I contact you?

[Anonymous No.13868606]

>>13867269
Hey
HEY!!
This isn't a woman!
IT'S SOME KIND OF FAGGOT!!!

[Anonymous No.13868607]

>>13868604
email: [e-mail]
Steam: rukiarcx or Aneki Margatroid
Discord: Alice#8225
Twitter/Twitch/YT: CeltyPlays
Chat: https://anekiho.me/chat2/

[Anonymous No.13868611]

>>13868606
S-sorry, I'm a woman

[Anonymous No.13868612]

>>13868581
Alright, well I'll say hi if I see you around, I jog around HK. Stay safe from the coofers ;)

[Anonymous No.13868616]

>>13868612
You t-too <4

[Anonymous No.13868619]

>>13868607
Sent a friend request on discord

[Anonymous No.13868620]

>>13868587
Buzzwords, it's baby math for mathlets that can't do the computations purely. Computational financiers are in the same bush league as engineers.

[Anonymous No.13868623]

>>13868612
SHE'S GOT A BENIS!

[Anonymous No.13868628]

>>13868623
I d-don't, but prove I do and I'll leave 4chan forever <4

[Anonymous No.13868642]

>>13868623
schizoid math major here, she's a woman

[Anonymous No.13868649]

Fuck you alice you fucking cunt, go back to /b/.

[Anonymous No.13868650]

>>13868623
>>13868628
Nah she's a woman I've seen her around walking her dog

[Anonymous No.13868656]

>>13868649
/b/ fucked her up, caused her to go lesbian. all the porn hyper-perverts people there.

[Anonymous No.13868711]

>>13868656
nah

[Anonymous No.13868741]

>>13867343
>T-they're always getting better, I assure you!
They're not, sharpen your knives, cut in a smooth stroke. Stop sawing like a fucking moron.

[Anonymous No.13868746]

>>13868741
N-no thank you <4
I love that it upsets you

[Anonymous No.13868747]

>>13868711
neuronormatives always think their owns thoughts and feelings and yes even sexual inclinations are wholly their own and not suggested into being from a very impressionable age.

[Anonymous No.13868752]

>>13868747
okay boomer

[Anonymous No.13868754]

>>13868752
I'm a schizoid millenial tho

[Anonymous No.13868766]

>>13868746
Okay, then don't improve, I don't give a shit either way.
>He's using the rude words so he's upset.
Suck my cock bitchboy

>>13867543
>>13867592
Embarassing

[Anonymous No.13868784]

>>13868746
how do You feel about runny eggs?

[Anonymous No.13868792]

>>13867269
Get help.

[Anonymous No.13868811]

Why is this dude wearing ladies clothes?

[Anonymous No.13868828]

>>13867269
GET THE FUCK OUT TRANNY DEGENERATE!

[Anonymous No.13868837]

Alice threads and that based pitmaster thread. Is /ck/ actually get better now?

[Anonymous No.13868846]

>>13868837
is she, dare I say... queen of /ck/???

[Anonymous No.13868856]

>>13868846
That explains her dumbass attention seeking behavior and her lack of any muscle tone whatsoever, even for a female

[Anonymous No.13868863]

>>13868846
It means he is genetically flawed. Also this man most likely made that shit up because its a trans trash talking point to try and justify their mental disorder.

[Anonymous No.13868864]

>>13868856
someone posted this on /ck yesterday not sure why it wasn't picked up by the tranny theorists

[Anonymous No.13868963]

>>13868856
she doesn't have skinny arms

[Anonymous No.13868997]

>>13867269
Fucking kill yourself you pathetic attention whoring tranny

[Anonymous No.13869046]

>>13868864
If it's true, it makes sense. Though she's not a tranny. Probably why she also hides her face (other than for hiding her professional life)

[Anonymous No.13869064]

Alice is probably my favorite poster here now. I don't think u guys get it

[Anonymous No.13869084]

I would honestly be fine with the attention whoring if he put a little more care into the actual food. And he gets mad when you point out basic flaws, i.e. garbage pan=bad sear.
In conclusion, try harder; show benis

[Anonymous No.13869340]

>>13867548
>grey
given your pan is black, you should know how to sear

[Anonymous No.13869564]

>>13867320
>crushing the garlic with a measuring cup and not the flat part of a knife

based

[Anonymous No.13869693]

Fuck nlggers, fuck trannles, fuck klkes, fuck jannles

[Anonymous No.13870038]

>>13867269
>man hands
>gorilla shoulders
>''Alice''
get some help dude

[Anonymous No.13870155]

>>13869064
He's better than the reddit catfag and his soi defense force at least.