/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.13616798]

how do I cook for someone who never grew out of "I am someone who does not eat vegetables, that is my identity"

We're talking... eats almost nothing but meat, cheese, dairy, rice and bread and shows artificial disgust(the kind little kids do to garner sympathy and avoid being forced to eat things, but he's a grown ass adult) in the presence of mere lettuce that literally just tastes like water. He can barely deal with spices either.

When challenged on it he gets really evasive and tries to joke his way out of having to acknowledge it... He can't even try things he's never seen before, he assumes it's disgusting if it's a plant. It's a serious bummer, I can't even make a sandwich without putting like four kinds of veggies on it, and I'm going to be sharing meals with him for like two weeks at some point.

I need coping strategies and recipes so I don't die from the grease and the bland.

[Anonymous No.13616806]

Kill him.

[Anonymous No.13616807]

Fucking don't. Wouldn't waste my time cooking for a tastelet.

[Anonymous No.13616813]

>>13616798
Put it in his food in a way that it can't be seen. Like what you would do with actual children.

[Anonymous No.13616815]

>>13616798
Gratin, just mix everything in a cheese/cream sauce with some bacon or shredded beef and fatass will eat it.

[Anonymous No.13616816]

Keep telling him stories about this pathetic guy you know who refuses to eat vegetables like a child and talk at length about how absurd he is. Never say it's him. It will be immature passive aggressive behavior, but he'll probably end up doing or saying something funny.

[Anonymous No.13616828]

>>13616798
have a friend like this, only he wouldn't touch fruit or anything remotely 'exotic'. Still hasn't tried sushi, basically had to hold a gun to his head to get him to go to a korean bbq place with us, threw away some perfectly good figs in our fridge to make room for more velveeta cheese, magnetically repels most vegetables except like carrots and green beans.

my advice is to just call them a bitch and play a baby crying on youtube until they feel ashamed enough to try food, realize it isn't poison, then never bring it up again if they actually eat shit

[Anonymous No.13616832]

>>13616798
Why will you have to cook for him for 2 weeks? I wouldn't bother catering to his childish behaviors.

[Anonymous No.13616836]

Make it a joking contest and make it fun.

>Ok mate, your baby pallette can't handle carrots?

Or, alternatively, tell him you want some help cooking a meal for yourself. Pick out a really delicious lasagna or something else baked that has veggies in it, and get him to prep and cook it with you. Get him involved in the process, and let him smell that delicious shit for the hour or so while it's baking, then teaze him that he can't have any because he doesn't like veggies.

Just reverse psychology that bitch.

[Anonymous No.13616841]

>>13616836
He doesn't want to make him his boyfriend.

[Anonymous No.13616914]

>>13616798
I don't think there's a cure for autism yet so there isn't much hope for him.

[Anonymous No.13616925]

>>13616798
leave your boyfriend

[Anonymous No.13616934]

>>13616836
>>13616816
>just do some passive aggressive bullshit
Holy shit it's like men who cook for others are actually fucking women

[Anonymous No.13616942]

>>13616798
I wouldn't deal with it at all. Why does this person have power over you?

[Anonymous No.13616947]

>>13616841
This is OP we're talking about

[Anonymous No.13617046]

>>13616813
This, put the poison in a way it can't be seen or detected

[Anonymous No.13617057]

>>13616798
Don't cook for him, just cook for yourself, and prepare double the usual amount. He'll learn his lesson.

[Anonymous No.13617116]

>>13616815
This. I don't like vegetables either when they're plain, but love them with a sprinkle of Parmigiano and a teaspoon or two of good extra-virgin olive oil.

[Anonymous No.13617759]

>>13616798
>Going to this much effort to promote Veganism.

Just chew your cud and be happy.

[Anonymous No.13617766]

>>13617759
thnk u mr skeltal

[Anonymous No.13617781]

You don't. Cook what you want and let them deal with it. You are not their mother, and you shouldn't waste your time with failed beings.

[Anonymous No.13617784]

>>13616798
Don't cook for him, duh. If he wants to be a manchild, that's his problem. It's not your responsibility to make him expand his dumbass palate. Cook what you wanna eat, and if he doesn't want it then too bad, he can cook his own shit.

[Anonymous No.13617785]

>>13616836
Neg that bitch

[Anonymous No.13617790]

>>13617759
Plot twist: it is OP who is gay?

[Anonymous No.13617791]

>>13616798
you don't, just edit min-wage normies like this out of your life, these people are cultural midgets for a reason.

[Anonymous No.13618056]

>>13616832
>>13616807
>>13616942
>>13617784
he's going to be staying over on vacation and either I cook or he will "cook." We can't both cook, that's a huge waste of time and money
>>13617759
>>13617790
I don't have that "vegan" disability at all. I love meat and cheese. I just can't eat them *exclusively*
>>13616836
>>13617785
I'm not a woman or a faggot, I don't have the instincts to play games like this.

[Anonymous No.13618067]

Try not being a faggot and writhing over what another grown man does or doesn’t eat

[Anonymous No.13618082]

>>13618056
Ok then.

>Cook entire meal
>Give him just the meat part
>Enjoy your full meal

[Anonymous No.13618367]

The only way Xanax can kill you is if you mix it with opiates. So make him some faggoty hot dogs or whatever and crush up 3 or 4 Xanax bars in it. He'll likely go down for a nap with little resistance. Then you can restrain him and force feed him vegetables until he vomits. Proceed to violently beat him with kitchen utensils until he begs you for some vegetables to make it stop. Repeat for as many days as needed.

[Anonymous No.13618370]

>>13616828
>Still hasn't tried sushi, basically had to hold a gun to his head to get him to go to a korean bbq place with us,
What kind of a person doesn’t want to go to KBBQ

[Anonymous No.13618404]

>>13616798
Dice up the veggies really small and arrange them into a smiley face on his plate.

[Anonymous No.13619618]

>>13616798
This describes me really well. I've attempted suicide over it. I'm self aware enough to not bother people though. I'll handle my own shit. If I was distressing someone this much, I'd either want to be euthanized or just cut off. Do with that information what you will.

[Anonymous No.13619633]

>>13616798
Tell him to eat the damn vegetables, he's not a child.

[Anonymous No.13619644]

>>13618056
Make him eat your food because he's an adult that's staying with you.

[Anonymous No.13619648]

>>13616798
He’s missing out.

Peas and carrots are delicious

[Anonymous No.13619652]

>>13616798
>sharing meals with him
Why do this?

[Anonymous No.13619944]

>>13616798
He sounds like the anti vegans I see online who only eat steak and blue cheese but complain about processed food when even animal products are processed.
If he is like that, take him out for strawberry picking. He'll be fine

[Anonymous No.13620062]

>>13619618
>I've attempted suicide over it.

You've attempted suicide over the fact that you won't eat anything with vegetables in it? Holy hell the burden of being American.

[Anonymous No.13621246]

>>13618056
just order some pizza for him.

[Anonymous No.13621251]

just show him that you are stronger than him and you aren't okay with that kind of behavior.

[Anonymous No.13621318]

>>13616798
Based carnibro. When you get sickly from eating pointless veg he can carry your anemic ass to the hospital.

[Anonymous No.13621321]

It's your house OP. If he's staying over he either eats what you cook or he orders food. Just make it fucking clear he can't waste your food to make his shitty 2nd Grader Meals.

If you cater to them they don't learn. So just tell him to eat what you offer or to eat shit. He's an adult, he can get over it.

[Anonymous No.13621344]

>>13616798
Fuck lettuce and fuck people who like salads and fuck that entire aisle devoted to its concept like the damn thing is some kind of justifiable dish. +5$ for >100 calories of acidic grass then drenched in fake ingredients and oil to make it palatable.

Such a pretentious thing. It's always cold too, so when I bite into a fucking burger and start chewing into cold lettuce and tomato I just get pissed.
>hmm, lets add mayonnaise to this sandwich as well, just to give it that all-American taste
Fucking repulsive.
You're a dumb faggot OP. Variety comes in all shapes and sizes.

[Anonymous No.13621360]

>>13616798
beat him

[Anonymous No.13621377]

>>13616798
Hey, I fucking heavily disliked veggies until I tried grilled veggies. Sure, some things does not work, like carrots or similar root veg, but potatoes, broccoli cauliflower, onions, eggplants and other standard veg works done in an oven. Give them a little charring and he’ll gobble it up

[Anonymous No.13621390]

>>13621344
Hey, have you ever tried Caesar salad with pipping hot chicken in it, warms the salad up to an even temp and would make it palatable.

[Anonymous No.13621398]

>>13616816
I have no respect for people who do shit like this

[Anonymous No.13621596]

>>13618056
Make him stay in a motel instead.

[Anonymous No.13621700]

>>13616798
Just do what my parents do to feed children vegetables.
Get mince meat then a bunch of vegetables and apples and just grate them up and then mix with the meat.
30% meat 70% veggies then roll up and coat with flour and cook like regular meat balls.
You might have to put a bit of salt on the veggies and let them sit a bit till some liquid comes out to make it not to wet.

Seems like it would be terrible but every kid my mom has made them for has loved them because they are sort of sweet from the apple.
Plus getting to eat a giant stack of meat balls is great.

[Anonymous No.13621737]

>>13621398
Nobody cares to have your respect.

[Anonymous No.13622146]

>>13618056
Just cook what you normally eat if it would be fit for a guest with an adult palate. Let him serve himself so you aren't wasting food serving him parts he doesn't want. If he doesn't want any of it, he can go out to buy food. He's probably staying with you for free anyways.

[Anonymous No.13622199]

>>13621700
OP doesn't really need to worry about making sure this tastelet eats something healthy. If all he wants to eat is meat and carbs, that's on him.

[Anonymous No.13622210]

>>13616798
Mostly would be because veggies are more alkaline (Bitter taste), you need to apply something acidic like tomato sauce or something to mute the flavor. I can eat many veggies but can't stand red cabbage unless I mute how Alkaline it is. Much like an acid base balance, palette can work the same way. Too much of either is no good.

[Anonymous No.13622218]

>>13616798
Clock food. Where each food group is separated. You have your meat, your carb, and your vegetable. He can skip the vegetable. If he's only eating the most expensive parts of a meal, bake a potato in the oven or something. While he's around, I wouldn't waste any particularly expensive ingredients. He probably can't tell good cheese from the cheaper stuff. Whatever you can do without diminishing your own enjoyment too much is probably best. When he's not around, feel free to make nice things just for yourself, if he'll be out during the day. Is this your brother-in-law or something? Why are you obligated to host him?

[Anonymous No.13622303]

>>13616798
is he autistic

[Anonymous No.13622321]

>mfw i'm that guy and i feel great

why don't you fuck off and respect my preferences, threads like this is why vegetablefags are insuffefable

[Anonymous No.13622589]

>>13618056
Celery in a particularly meaty and oniony stew. They won't be able to spot it if you cut them small enough. Show them what you put in after the meal. Tricked one of my veggielet friends to do that. But the thing is, you won't be able to enjoy the veggies either because if he hadn't realize veggies are alright, you're gonna need to cut it so small, so unnoticeable, it's like eating a soft pebble in your mouth instead of the texture you want.

Or mushrooms... that's a good starting point. It's similar in texture to a meat, it can fool a blindfolded tastelet into thinking they're eating a particularly savory piece of meat.

Then later on, go full open-conflict, no need for clandestine vegetables anymore. Make some good broccoli stir fry. Loads of sesame oil in the end, loads of garlic, loads of oyster sauce, and crispy fried garlic on top of the garlic in the sauce. That oughta bombard the shit out of the guy's tastebuds and probably help him enjoy some good veggies.

[Anonymous No.13622609]

It's miserable having been RAISED as [That Person] and knowing it's fucked up, but because your parents never had/used/encouraged/cooked vegetables properly, it's so ingrained and the actual taste/texture of nearly all vegetables is gag-inducing.

Like, I want to ease into making up for lost time and getting into vegetables without being too grossed out to finish whatever I cook, but there's such a huge block in the way.

[Anonymous No.13622620]

>>13622146
This is the winner. If it's for two weeks, take a night or two during that time and cook him something that he specifically likes. The rest of the time, cook recipes in your usual rotation. Either he eats it or blows his money buying fast food, that's his choice. Don't waste your time on any passive aggressive shit but don't tie yourself into a knot enabling some manbaby either.

[Anonymous No.13622627]

>>13616806
fpbp

[Anonymous No.13622633]

>>13618367
This is the only good answer. Worked on my younger brother and three young children.

[Anonymous No.13622644]

>>13616934
>actually fucking women
you're damn right we are

[Anonymous No.13623344]

>>13622609
start with mushrooms.
They're like subterranean meat chunks.

[Anonymous No.13623816]

>>13620062
OBSESSED but also OH SAY CAN YOU SEE and USA USA USA USA

[Anonymous No.13623863]

>>13621344
>All of humanity enjoys fresh greens and lettuce and such
>BLEGH I DON'T LIKE GREEN FOOD.

[Anonymous No.13623901]

Why not ask the person what they'd like you to make? Or, perhaps you two can take a trip to the grocery store together when he comes over so that he can pick out his favorite brand of chicken tendies and french fries?

Btw: You can't change someone if they aren't willing to change. Either accept that you're dating a man-child and deal with it, or dump him and find someone who's not going to need you to raise him and wipe his ass for him.

These are the red flags that people ignore when establishing a relationship.

[Anonymous No.13623908]

>>13616798
fuck vegetables. once i took the calorie restriction pill, i just started eating whatever i like.

[Anonymous No.13623995]

>>13623908
Pic relate

[Anonymous No.13624219]

>>13620062

Brain disease. In my case I won't eat meat, pasta, rice either so I'm not exactly the same as OP's friend.