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/ck/ - Food & Cooking


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File: 275 KB, 1000x752, Restaurant-Hostess2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13578856 No.13578856[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

"Let me guess. Table for one?"

>> No.13578860

Yes.

>> No.13578867
File: 65 KB, 1068x601, gigachad.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13578867

>>13578856
I'll just sit at the bar, thanks

>> No.13578868
File: 36 KB, 475x318, coffee agent cooper.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13578868

>>13578856
Who here likes going to diners on their own to sit at the bar?

>> No.13578878

>>13578856
No, I'm here for a pickup

>> No.13578910

Excuse me you rude bitch? Get me the manager.

>> No.13578912

>>13578868
Me. Reading a book at the counter or bar during my lunch break is sometimes the highlight of my day.

>> No.13578921
File: 26 KB, 475x589, EminemGun.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13578921

Yeah I'll have the SPA-GET-EVEN

>> No.13578930

>>13578912
how can you read in that type of environment? there’s no way you’re actually absorbing any of it

>> No.13578949

>>13578930
It's a restaurant at noon. It's not like I'm at a concert or something.

>> No.13578959

You know I'm a fat fucking loser but I managed to find a woman who would date me and when we go out for dinner she's always like 5 minutes late and every time I go into a restaurant they look at me and ask if it's a table for one. And even though I should be happy that I get to correct them and say no it'll be for two, it makes me feel like the fat fucking loser I am.

>> No.13578960

>>13578856
She looks like she'd have bad feminine hygiene. I wouldn't mind coming from her.

>> No.13578980
File: 19 KB, 400x167, robbery-1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13578980

>>13578856
EVERYBODY BE COOL THIS IS A ROBBERY

>> No.13579008

>>13578856
well yea, I'm quite obviously alone, no wonder you work here.

>> No.13579023

>>13578980
Nice to meet you Robbery, I’m Carl

>> No.13579041
File: 177 KB, 574x411, creatives.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13579041

>>13578856
Yes, and let me just say you look like you peaked 20 years ago.

>> No.13579042
File: 51 KB, 661x496, home defense.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13579042

>>13578980
If this happened in my bar that son of a bitch would have been dead so fast. I would reflexively drop my book on top of my plate landing on top of my home fries (with onions). As I assess the situation my body would go into automatic from years of practice and 10s and 10s of thousands of rounds fired. Because I carry with a shoulder holster before he even saw the movement I'd have dawn and been squeezing off a shot of my home-loaded .45 round into his junkie face. The entire restaurant would stare in silent admiration and shock as the assailant collapses back into his booth as I eventually break the silence with a long sigh as I see some of the grease from my scrapple has gotten onto the cover of my well-thumbed copy of "The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck".

>> No.13579122

>>13578856
let me guess...pushing 40, single, and working as a restaurant hostess

>> No.13579139

>>13578856
Depends, how's your feet game?

>> No.13579144

>>13579122
>>13579041
t. Jonah Hill

>> No.13579151

>>13578912
>Please give me attention

>> No.13579153

>>13579151
Reading a book in public is somehow attention seeking behavior?

>> No.13579169

>>13579153
Yes

>> No.13579183

>>13579042
Bless u based autistic anon

>> No.13579186

>>13579169
Are you really so self conscious that you can't even enjoy something as simple as reading in public without worrying about how others view you?

>> No.13579196

>>13579186
Nice attempt at deflection. This has nothing to do with you wanting attention.

>> No.13579199

>>13578912
You are the saddest people.

>> No.13579204

>>13578959
>You know I'm a fat fucking loser but I managed to find a woman who would date me

Presumably you're funnier and more charismatic than the average chan autist. I've seen some real mugs with cute girls.

>> No.13579206
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13579206

>>13578980
TELL THAT BITCH TO BE COOL!!

>> No.13579213
File: 59 KB, 463x598, 20f123b2-e16f-4e13-bebe-3b73cfca90b5.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13579213

>>13578856
No, thanks. I'll just sit at the bar.

>> No.13579219

>>13579196
>This has nothing to do with you wanting attention

But you just said people read in public because they want attention.

>> No.13579222

>>13579219
True statement. Why don’t you bring your MacBook next?

>> No.13579228

>>13579222
Waste of a get. Sometimes people like to do things in public because they enjoy the atmosphere and being around people.

>> No.13579236

>>13579222
So you keep contradicting yourself but that aside I'm curious why you think reading in public is somehow wrong?

>> No.13579237

>>13579186
There is no purpose to reading in public. Nothing is gained by reading where there are others socializing all around you. Unless you don't own a couch or bed the seating is more uncomfortable as well. The logical conclusion then is that you do it because you want to meet others that read. It's understandable because it's not an easy activity to share with others but it is what you are doing whether you're aware of it or not.

>> No.13579242

>>13578912
>Having lunch
>Not eating all your food at home were you can vomit it right after in peace

>> No.13579246

>>13579153
>PLEASE ASK ME WHAT IM READING

>> No.13579251
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13579251

>>13578856

>> No.13579291

>>13579237
>>13579246
How about wanting something to do while eating besides staring at your phone? And it's not like I'm holding the cover up for the world to see. What an utterly bizarre opinion on what is a completely innocuous activity. Literally hurting or bothering no one. Do people browsing on their phones offend your delicate sensibilities too?

>> No.13579295

>>13578856
Dude lol, I’ve been there. It’s a steakhouse called mahogany. Pretty good

>> No.13579301

>>13579295
Congrats, you can read whats on her fucking hands

>> No.13579303

>>13579042
based

>> No.13579306

>>13579301
Lol dude I didn’t even see that

>> No.13579315

>>13579291
How do you eat that you somehow read at the same time? Someone spoon feeding you?

>> No.13579325

>>13579315
Are you legally handicapped? Can you not use both hands independently of one another?

>> No.13579342

>>13579291
>>13579315
You both are faggots but
>How do you eat that you somehow read at the same time? Someone spoon feeding you?
is your weakest point yet, fucking hold the book with one hand and grab a piece of food with the other or hold onto the fork, fucking read between bites or while chewing. Multitask nigga

>> No.13579348

>>13579325
>>13579342
Oh I forgot we were in the company of literally children whose entire weeks consist of nothing but fast food and nothing that needs a fork

>> No.13579357

>>13578856
No filthy scum whor, my wife and seven children are coming. We need 3 (three) tables, got that?

>> No.13579358

>>13579348
This.

>but how can you eat your daily burger and turn the pages at the same time???

>> No.13579396

>>13579041
b-but she only looks in her mid 30s....

>> No.13579406

>>13579042
and then everyone clapped

>> No.13579531

>>13578856
I'll take the booth. No, I don't want to wear the spare button up, because my color change tank top is dazzling.

>> No.13579540

>>13579396
Precisely.

>> No.13579555

>>13578856
y-you too

>> No.13579635
File: 151 KB, 851x851, 20D4FA1E-02BF-4413-A312-C3FB803D6633.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13579635

>>13578856
I just say for 3 or 4 so I can get a booth all to myself

>> No.13579654

>>13578867
If you actually do this, you are cool

>> No.13579664

>>13579654
Meant for
>>13579531

>> No.13579714

>>13578856
It’s not even weird for someone to assume you’re there alone when you show up alone, what the fuck?
Anyone who thinks being asked “table for one?” is anything different from normal is insecure, next time don’t show up alone and they won’t assume you’re there alone, you autistic fucks

>> No.13579720

>>13578856
*IMITATES LOUD BUZZER SOUND*
EHHHHHHHHHH!!!! WROOOONG!!!!!
HAH
THOUGHT YOU HAD ME FIGURED OUT HUH?
WELL GUESS WHAT YOU RUDE WOMAN?
I'VE GOT A DATE TONIGHT!
YEAH, YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT! A D-A-T-E!
NOW GET ME AN INTIMATE TABLE FOR TWO RIGHT THIS MOMENT!
*WHIPS OUT BLOW UP ANIME DOLL*
YEAH!! JUST ME AND THE BABE TONIGHT! :))))

>> No.13579828

>>13579714
When I have lunch with my brother the server will often ask, "together or separate?" and he gets really insecure about the idea that they might think we're something other than brothers. People get weird about stuff.

>> No.13579990

>>13578856
>tfw you have to correct them when they ask "table for two?"
I mean, should I even feel bad?

>> No.13580007

>>13579042
based

>> No.13580032

>>13578856
No, I'm just getting an Ubereats order for some tasteless fag. I earn more than you, btw.

>> No.13580069

>>13578980
at the place i worked at some dude hired his cousins to like "rob" a place at gunpoint, but it was all to scare this other dude that the first dude really hated, but dude B was like on vacation so dude A's cousins came in to "rob the place" and "hold them hostage" but they went up to dude A and were like "hey cuz wheres the guy were supposed to wack around?"

>> No.13580101
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13580101

>>13578856
near a power outlet, please and thank you. and what is your wifi password?

>> No.13580114
File: 67 KB, 600x350, 1540417245321.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13580114

>>13580101
True oldfag right there. Can't pwn Quake n00bs on a fucking ipad

>> No.13580135

>>13578856
No thanks, I'll order take out.

>> No.13580155

>>13578856
Eight, we made a reservation. I'm just a little early, they'll be joining shortly.

>> No.13580175
File: 191 KB, 680x760, gigachad5555.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13580175

>>13578856
>No, a table for 2 actually. Because you will be joining me, beautiful.

>> No.13580188

>>13578856
why are you so condescending?

>> No.13580765

>>13578856
Not as bad as
>We only serve Pepsi

>> No.13580768

>>13578856
Let me guess: this is your first job dealing with the public?

>> No.13581104

>>13578867
>I'll just sit at the bar, thanks

Is this an American thing? I have never seen anyone trying to eat a meal at the bar in any UK place.

>> No.13581174

>>13581104
people do it in the US, yea

>> No.13581188

>>13581104
Yea. We even get special trays if the bar has a poker/slot machine.

>> No.13581190

>>13578921
That gave me a good kek

>> No.13581256

>>13581104
I can't speak for all other countries, but I'm American and I eat at the bar all the time, not just when I'm by myself either.

>> No.13581345

>>13578867
>sit at the bar
>bartenders now upset that they can't just talk to each other and now have to wait on you
It's not actually a good thing, unless it's at a diner and there are no bartenders

>> No.13581596

>>13581345
>>bartenders now upset that they can't just talk to each other and now have to wait on you
Just be a low-maintenance customer, never interrupt their conversations, and project an air of "I won't be offended by any shit you say."

>> No.13581598

>>13578856
If you have to guess it's clear why you are working here.

>> No.13581603

>>13581596
Was about to say, I do this and it’s never been a problem.

>> No.13581681

>>13579828
nice try gay brother fucker

>> No.13581692

>>13581104
>I have never seen anyone trying to eat a meal at the bar in any UK place.
really? while not common it does happen with singles