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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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File: 31 KB, 678x381, jameshoffmann-678x381.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13571793 No.13571793 [Reply] [Original]

The way you're brewing you're coffee is wrong.

>> No.13571859

>>13571793
james almost never claims a process is wrong

>> No.13571863

>>>/tv/
>>>/trash/

>> No.13571873

I grind my beans for 11 seconds and put 3 tbsp of grounds per mug into my Ninja Coffee Bar. Not sure what else I can do.

>> No.13571889
File: 101 KB, 1300x866, 129306175-spoon-of-instant-coffee-granules-poured-in-cup-of-coffee-white-background-close-up-macro-shot-select.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13571889

>>13571793
I wouldn't know, I only drink instant coffee in a dirty mug.

Coffee autism is for fags.

>> No.13571990

>>13571889
Very based

>> No.13572028

>>13571889
>being proud of your shitty taste
You're probably a lardass who wears dad jeans and thinks well-dressed, slim people are "fags".

>> No.13572037

>>13571859
He claims pressing coffee in a coffee press is wrong.

>> No.13572049

>>13572037
nah he just explains the way he thinks makes the best coffee, he doesn't say that other methods are wrong he just doesn't like them, because they don't work for him

>> No.13572057

the only correct way to brew a coffee is to let babushka do her magic with turkish coffee while you go over to neighbour Kolya to get a couple of cigs

>> No.13572059

>>13572049
He explicitly says it is wrong and that one should "never" press coffee in a coffee press in his newer videos.

>> No.13572064

>>13572059
really? i honestly don't remember him saying that. Can you post the video?

>> No.13572066

>>13572028
Yes and yes.

>> No.13572098

>>13572064
It's the one where he reviewed a bunch of coffee accoutrements from Ikea

>> No.13572148

Jacking off your drug beans doesn't really change the flavor. It's all in your head.

>> No.13572158

>>13572059
>>13572098
i went and watched the video and that's not what he says. At no point does he say pressing is wrong, but he does say "we're never going to press" when he's talking about how he brews with a french press.

>> No.13572162 [DELETED] 
File: 19 KB, 497x617, soyjak5.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13572162

>>13572028
>You're probably a lardass who wears dad jeans and thinks well-dressed, slim people are "fags".

>> No.13572178
File: 2.26 MB, 1920x1070, rc_an (191).gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13572178

>>13572162
>soyjak5.png
>he not only downloads soyjacks, but has at least five of them

>> No.13572184 [DELETED] 
File: 8 KB, 211x239, soyjak999999999999999999999999999999999999999.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13572184

>>13572178
>soyjak5.png
>he not only downloads soyjacks, but has at least five of them

>> No.13572193

>>13572158
>he does say "we're never going to press"
"We" explicitly includes the viewer and the smug, condescending tone he uses makes his opinion clear on the matter.

>> No.13572203
File: 346 KB, 490x274, rc_an (185).gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13572203

>>13572184
>soyjak9999999999999999999(...).jpg
Giggled. Well played.

>> No.13572263

>>13572028
>well-dressed, slim people are "fags"
they aren't?

>> No.13572290

>>13572263

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=st571DYYTR8

>> No.13572315

>>13572193
i think you're reading into this way too much.

>> No.13572327

>>13572290
so.... they are then.

>> No.13572337

>>13572290
OOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRR! make instant and get the same results.

>> No.13572352

>>13572290
The background music made me think he's slightly unhinged.
Like it's something you would hear in a movie before someone shows you a severed finger.

>> No.13572379

>>13572290
>french press coffee guide
>doesn't even oress the coffee
So his ideal cup of french pressed coffee is just pour-over?

>> No.13572405

>>13572352
>slightly
dude the guy went through all the trouble to make a video on the subject. I'd say that's a bit more than "slightly".

>> No.13572462

>>13572315
I think you're handwaving away abject snobbery

>> No.13572471

>>13572337
>OOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRR
>!
You type like a redditor or a woman. That being said, most instant coffee, in the process of making it, is deprived of several oils that give coffee its flavor so it's objectively worse. You're clearly clueless on coffee.

>> No.13572475

K-cups having ruined my life.

>> No.13572481

>>13572471
well since you definitely are wrong on the first 2 of those statements I will go a head and assume that the 3rd is also incorrect.

actually I know it's incorrect.

>> No.13572486

>>13571793
I am not coffee. You take that back.

>> No.13572489

>>13572148
>drug
Reminder that coffee drinking has been associated with a higher life expectancy than coffee abstainers. That being said, roast level, brewing method, extraction time, etc. all objectively affect the taste of coffee. You don't drink coffee, lardass, so it's not like you would know how coffee taste can vary.

>> No.13572495

>>13572481
>faggy passive-agressive typing style
>even reddit-spacing
Lmao, you can't go one post without typing like a redditor/woman.

>> No.13572504

Why do people who don't drink coffee always show up to be butthurt in coffee threads and to claim shit that ousts them as clueless (such as "instant coffee tastes the same as freshly brewed coffee")?

>> No.13572537
File: 29 KB, 700x700, le-xpress-italian-style-espresso-coffee-maker-290ml-black-2429-700x700[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13572537

I'm going to let you in on a little secret. I'm a pure blooded Med BULL from Italy and I can assure you that this "coffee" you Americans drink is nothing more than espresso flavored water. It's gay as fuck and you faggots walk around sipping this shit all day from literal sippy cups. Absolutely fucking disgusting. 90% of you don't even know what coffee is. Where I'm from we take two minutes to drink our espressos and then get on with our fucking day. We don't sit around looking at our phones and laptops for two fucking hours sitting in big comfy chairs. Did you fucking hear me? We drink this shit STANDING UP at a bar and then WALK THE FUCK OUT. FUCK YOU.

>> No.13572541

>>13572504
Because they are insecure fat fucks who envy people who drink things that aren't drenched in sugar.

>> No.13572558

>>13572537
>https://youtu.be/xVYmcVgfDNA?t=15

convincing.

>> No.13572642

>>13572462
snobbery would imply some form of judgement of the people doing the pressing. if you take a difference of opinion as a difference of personal quality you're the snob.

>> No.13572721

>>13572642
He is literally dripping with judgement.

>> No.13572732

>>13572558
I always feel sad when I see how hugely popular comedians are always so desperately devoid of humor or wit.

>> No.13572794

>>13572721
the big question is why are you so obsessed with how some guy on youtube brews his coffee? he's not reaching through the screen and stopping you from brewing how you want to. What's the big problem? So what if he does it different than you or implies how you do it is incorrect. You don't have to live your life by the word of strangers on the internet.

>> No.13572813

I just grind some beans and throw them in a french press for 14+ hours because I'm too lazy to brew hot coffee every morning before wageslaving.

>> No.13572824

>>13572794
The bigger question is why are YOU so compelled to defend some guy on youtube like he's your blood related sibling? So what if people don't like him, you don't have to live your life defending his honor against strangers on the internet.

>> No.13572833

>>13572537
Firstly, Italians are unemployed.
Secondly most people sit during their working hours. At a computer in a chair.

>> No.13572836

>>13572537
Based. But not true. Many italians spend their time in a cafe. Coffee culture was practically born there. The Austrians and french have probably the most relaxed cafes though.

>> No.13572999

>>13571793
Honestly, the few tidbits that you can glean from his shitty channel are as follows:
1) dont press on a french press because you will drink fucking grinds if you do
2) get a good coffee grinder

And thats it. Literally nothing else on this faggots youtube channel matters, he is an obnoxious pathetic idiot, whose life revolves around burnt bean water and his videos suck fucking dick. Drink coffee the way you like to drink, there are no secrets, and how much pressure you use on your shitty hand cranked italian espresso machine doesnt matter because even using the thing is so much fucking work, that its not worth it at all. My theory is, that all these wanna be coffee connoiseurs are watching videos because they regret their consumerist hype purchases and do not actually want to brew coffee, but just imagine how good it might be, if they packed their ginormous handcranked machines on the table, and went through the whole 60 minute process that is required to drink 1 shot of espresso.

>> No.13573076

>>13572999
Checked

>> No.13573175

>>13572290
It's only a three minute video but god damn it feels like one of those 10 minute slogs.

>> No.13573226

>>13573175
every video of his feels that way, its like he is actually super miserable but hides it in a very disgusting way.

>> No.13573734

>>13571863
Cringe

>> No.13573764

>>13571793
YOU'RE WRONG
IM NOT WRONG YOU ARE
HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG
TELL ME WHERE YOU LIVE
TELL ME WHERE YOU LIVE RIGHT FUCKING NOW PUSSY
PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY
HNNNNNNNNNNNNG
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU HARD BITCH

>> No.13573781

>>13571793
What is the best way to make coffee according to him?

>> No.13574352

>>13571889
i don't understand instant coffee
it really doesn't take that long to put some grounds in a french press and boil the water
or start a drip machine
why do you need it?

>> No.13574355

>>13573764
Based

>> No.13574379

>>13572379
Are you literally retarded?

>> No.13574396

>>13571793
I'd never take anything seriously said by a guy who looks like that.

>> No.13574399

Why are people who don't understand coffee so aggressively stupid? It's like they're personally offended that people drink high quality coffee and I don't understand. It's not even hard to get into, even for poorfags, so price barrier and jealousy shouldn't be the reason. Are people just upset by any challenge to their perception of what coffee should be? (Which for most of these retards is instant or Keurig shit)

>> No.13574407
File: 154 KB, 1600x1200, coffee1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13574407

>>13574399
Probably because you people sound like prissy Seattle assholes all the time and no one listens to pieces of shit.

>> No.13574419

>>13574352
so you're saying it's not instant?

>> No.13574430 [DELETED] 

>>13572537
that's because you're just getting a pick me up so you can go stand in line at the ATM

>> No.13574436

>>13574407
Oh, so it's just autism? Got it.

>> No.13574445

>>13574436
Everything is autism when you have nothing to say. Go plan your dialate and seething arguments next, you fucking worthless piece of shit. Nobody does 13 year old like a 13 year old.

>> No.13574451

>>13574445
Oh so it's actually schizophrenia and not autism? Sorry, I've got it down now.

>> No.13574505

>>13574352
its fine if you only want one cup of coffee

>> No.13576082

>>13572495
I type like I would talk to you in real life. being as you are a child.

>> No.13576087

>>13572537
well I just take a NO Doz and go so I'm more cool than you!

>> No.13576091

>>13574352
because we figured out that it's all the same and why waste money on all that extra BS when you can just make instant. BOOM done!

>> No.13576159

>>13576082
>I type like a teenage woman/redditor faggot because you're a child
Holy shit, this lame attempt at banter can only come from a woma.

>> No.13576170

>>13571793
He makes that loud fucking snapping sound from his throat sometimes and it's fucking disgusting.
Also he grinds his teeth at night and it looks fucking horrible oh my god.
But other than that he is a good dude and makes good and informative videos.

>> No.13576178

>>13576091
Except that it doesn't taste the same, the process of making instant coffee removes flavor-giving oils in most instant coffee and roast level, brewing method and so on affect the taste of coffee. Just because you're a tastelet faggot who drinks bottom of the barrel stuff doesn't mean you have to make objectively wrong claims and sperg out. Basically, >>13574399 and >>13572504 describe you perfectly.

>> No.13576319

>>13572794
Based.

>> No.13576326

>>13576159
>Holy shit, this lame attempt at banter can only come from a woma.
translation: "I know you are but what am i?"

>> No.13576370

Idk what’s the big issue. Buying good coffee taste good. Do you guys just buy cheap value everything just to make a point?

>> No.13576373
File: 241 KB, 1280x1920, Jeggins-GQ-07Dec16_b.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13576373

>>13572028
Nothing gay about this at all.

>> No.13576380

>>13576326
I called you out on being a woman posts ago, roastie.

>> No.13576386

>>13576373
Nobody said anything about skin-tight jeans. I understand anything smaller than a tent might as well be tight-skin jeans to you but it's not what "well-dressed" means.

>> No.13576397
File: 27 KB, 620x413, extralarge.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13576397

>>13572537
>>13572836

Working adults don't spend more than a half hour at coffee shops.

It's the fucking college kids setting up shop for several hours. I hate them so much.

>> No.13576416

>>13576091
Except it doesn't taste the same at all. Even when I had my nose smashed in by an accident, I could tell the difference between coffee made in a french press and instant.

>> No.13576447

>>13576380
>t. Woman hating incel

>> No.13577521

>>13576447
Seething

>> No.13578634

>>13576397
I dont know whats so good about being a wagie. Italians should stop trying to be like us Germans, your country was better before.

>> No.13578767

>>13572028
but they are fags tho

>> No.13578799

>>13578634
>Italians should stop trying to be like us Germans
Stop forcing them?

>> No.13578808
File: 58 KB, 1024x988, 1568525338638.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13578808

>>13574352
I drink instant coffee because I hate myself, and I just want "coffee" right fucking now, not however long it takes for some autistic baguette machine to piss out some coffee

>> No.13579077

>>13578808
Le basé

>> No.13579124

>>13574352
It's great for camping
It's great if you're a caffeine addict
It's also great if you're 70 and are nostalgic about the times you had to drink the ass end of a shitstain someone's labeled as 'coffee'

>> No.13579475

>>13572290
w2c that espresso cup at 3:26?

>> No.13579784

>>13578808
Isn't all the waiting time due to boiling water? Especially in America where water boils slower.

>> No.13581427

>>13578634
I was talking about the U.S.

Even on the weekends I don't spend too much time at coffee places. Get a drink, get a pastry, chit-chat, and maybe get an espresso before leaving. Still takes less than a half hour.

>> No.13581446

>>13571873
>buying a memeja

>> No.13581464

>>13574352
It was a Keurig before they existed, basically. Serve the same demographic.

>> No.13581468

>>13574407
>electric can opener