[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / ic / jp / lit / sci / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports ] [ become a patron ] [ status ]
2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking

View post   
File: 22 KB, 400x400, 1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13545010 No.13545010 [Reply] [Original]

you find yourself in front of the pearly gates and st peter tells you that entrance is only granted if you present to him a top tier snack. what is it?

>> No.13545015

>>13545010
>*grabs crotch*
deez nuts, bitch

>> No.13545021
File: 32 KB, 400x400, 1579622817535.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13545021

>>13545015
TO HELL AND ETERNAL DAMNATION IT IS FOR YOU

>> No.13545033

>>13545021
good maybe the devil can take a joke ya cunt

>> No.13545036
File: 39 KB, 600x600, crunch nuts.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13545036

>>13545010
Present pic related to St. Peter. He looks them over, then eats a few.

"Welcome to heaven and enjoy your power as a Seraphim"

>> No.13545044
File: 32 KB, 400x399, 1579622958964.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13545044

>>13545036
TO HELL AND ETERNAL DAMNATION IT IS FOR YOU

>> No.13545048

>>13545036
what the fuck when did these come out?

>> No.13545052

>>13545010
biblical bread baked only by fire created by burning my own feces

>> No.13545055

Spic snac.
>peeled, sliced, quartered cucumber
>squeezed lemon
>salt
>cayenne
And don't tell me spics use lime, I know that; it just tastes better with lemon rather than lime.

>> No.13545057

>>13545048
At least a year ago, probably more. They're god-tier gas station cuisine.

>> No.13545061

>>13545036
Humans don't turn into angels, faggot.

>> No.13545063

>>13545057
ive literally never seen them before. wtf my state sucks dicks

>> No.13545065
File: 20 KB, 450x450, valentina seasoning.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13545065

>>13545055
Chu forgot someting, mang.

>> No.13545071
File: 32 KB, 399x400, 1579622817535.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13545071

>>13545052
is the feces baptized my son?
>>13545055
welcome my son, but do not use racial slurs in the house of God. we are all one and the same and loved here.

>> No.13545076

>>13545010
mcdouble

>> No.13545077

>>13545061
>Implying St. Peter wouldn't summon all of his powers to create me as a Seraphim after presenting him with crunch nuts.
Wanna know how I know you've never had crunch nuts?

>> No.13545083

Dry sausage slices, with some cheese

>> No.13545088
File: 32 KB, 398x398, 1579622958964.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13545088

>>13545076
TO HELL AND ETERNAL DAMNATION IT IS FOR YOU. THE LORD ONLY ENJOYS BURGER KING. IN N OUT'S HOLIER THAN THOU ACT OF PUTTING BIBLE VERSES ON THE BOTTOM OF COUNTLESS CUPS DESTROYING THE ENVIRONMENT OF THE BLESSED EARTH WHICH HE GAVE AS A GIFT TO US IS BLASPHEMING AT ITS WORST AND CHICK FIL A'S CONSTANT TUG AT THE HOMOSEXUALS ONLY SERVES TO MASK THE HOMOSEXUALITY OF THE CEOS AND BOARD MEMBERS
>>13545083
yeah come in

>> No.13545093
File: 30 KB, 450x450, hot pickles.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13545093

>>13545010
My humble offering.

>> No.13545101
File: 38 KB, 397x397, 1579622958964.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13545101

>>13545093
TO HELL AND ETERNAL DAMNATION IT IS FOR YOU. FAT FREE? GLUTEN FREE? THE LORD BLESSED YOU WITH A BODY ABLE TO BREAK DOWN DELICIOUS FATS AND GLUTEN AND YOU REJECT HIS GIFT? IT IS HIS TURN TO REJECT NOW

>> No.13545117
File: 55 KB, 460x460, 6000200007556.jpg.750x750_q85ss0_progressive.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13545117

For me, it's seeds.

>> No.13545125

plain crackers without toppings

>> No.13545127
File: 106 KB, 634x687, 23E05A4500000578-0-image-m-2_1475912724813.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13545127

Chocolate Orange

>> No.13545129
File: 32 KB, 398x400, 1579622817535.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13545129

>>13545117
come inside my son and remember not to spit the seeds on the ground
>>13545125
what brand my son?

>> No.13545135
File: 38 KB, 397x395, 1579622958964.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13545135

>>13545127
TO HELL AND ETERNAL DAMNATION IT IS FOR YOU. MIXING CHOCOLATE AND CITRUS FRUITS IS THE HIGHEST FORM OF CULINARY DEBAUCHERY, MAY YOUR EONS OF BURNING HELP YOU SEE THE GRAVE ERROR OF YOUR WAYS

>> No.13545145

>>13545127
THE (NON) ETERNAL ANGLO STRIKES AGAIN

>> No.13545151

>>13545129
Jacobs

>> No.13545157
File: 73 KB, 761x960, dog why 2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13545157

B-But Saint Peter wouldn't that mean you are the one deciding who gets into heaven instead of Jesus Christ?

>> No.13545171

>Peter
>Judgement
Alright who let you out of paradise
That said said an Ambroisa or Honeycrisp apple sliced up with Tillamook white cheddar

>> No.13545188
File: 38 KB, 395x395, 1579622958964.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13545188

>>13545151
TO HELL AND ETERNAL DAMNATION IT IS FOR YOU
>>13545157
THE LORD HAS TASKED ME WITH DETERMINING THE WORTHINESS OF A MAN AND HIS SNACK AND HAS GRANTED ME WITH THE WISDOM TO MEET HIS OWN TASTES
>>13545171
TO HELL AND ETERNAL DAMNATION IT IS FOR YOU THAT IS TOO BOUGIE FOR THE LORD

>> No.13545321

BBQ peanuts.

>> No.13545345
File: 32 KB, 395x400, 1579622817535.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13545345

>>13545321
welcome my son

>> No.13545365

>>13545010
Homemade maple bacon bites.

>> No.13545378

God's not real and neither are snacks if you think about it

>> No.13545393

>>13545010
St. Peter wouldn't have taste nearly as pleb as yours.
For me, it's chopped celery dipped in crunchy peanut butter.

>> No.13545414

>>13545393
>crunchy
enjoy your fire and brimstone

>> No.13545427

>>13545393
I hope satan and a pack of nigger demons rape your ass.

>> No.13545428

>>13545010
I instantly demand to see the manager

>> No.13545477

>>13545414
>he likes zero fiber peanut butter for toothless geriatrics

>> No.13545484
File: 26 KB, 355x249, Samoas.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13545484

>> No.13545485
File: 34 KB, 395x400, 1579628468449.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13545485

>>13545428
>hello sir you wanted to speak with me?

>> No.13545941

>>13545101
Its gluten and fat free because it's a pickle dumbass. Not cause its specially made for people who dont want gluten.

>> No.13545996

>>13545941
i would never eat a pickle where they had that kind of packaging/labeling though

>> No.13546012

>>13545010
You are wrong, there is no god or afterlife. They lied to you and you fell for it hook, line and sinker. Too bad you are so stupid.
Sucked in dumbo.

>> No.13546014

sardines

>> No.13546036
File: 8 KB, 259x194, andes_thin_mints.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13546036

>>13545010
I'd present St Peter with Andes thin mints because being as old as he is then he could probably use some breath mints plus they taste good.

>> No.13546049

You go to three phases. First you're annoyed with religion and religious people. Then you stop caring. Lastly you hope to someday start believing because life is pretty shit and religion seems to give people meaning. Too bad it's all bullshit.

>> No.13546078

99% cacao chocolate

>> No.13546084

>>13546049
It's a social thing as well, to be seen. Kind of people who spend 5-6 hours watching the superbowl, a game that takes 1 hour of real time but 4-5 hours of commercials and a stupid hollywood halftime. That's some people's religion.

>> No.13546088

>>13545010
virgin boy pee pee eggs

>> No.13546192

>>13545010
Dee's Nuts.

>> No.13546203

>>13546192
If you want him to break a tooth it might as well be Corn Nuts.

>> No.13546236

>>13545010
Mozz sticks

>> No.13547213

for me its a can of DEENZ

>> No.13547236

>>13545010
A whole bag of mini Reese's cups

>> No.13547731
File: 45 KB, 500x341, hardfiskur-med-smjori1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13547731

Harðfiskur með smjöri

>> No.13547759

>>13547213
based, whens the new deenz thread bro?

>> No.13548405
File: 68 KB, 600x600, ants-on-a-log-600_orig.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13548405

>> No.13548418

>>13545010
My mother's pussy, from what I've heard on this board.

>> No.13548431
File: 194 KB, 1500x1500, 814tJX4gq-L._SL1500_.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13548431

dis all I got in my pantry

>> No.13548467
File: 72 KB, 736x736, 555b2506ce37c266e3b71833b85172de--manners-originals.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13548467

>> No.13548502
File: 653 KB, 1024x682, Apps-Buffalo-Chicken-Dip-2016.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13548502

>>13545010

>> No.13548524

>>13546012
>he's such a misotheistic teen atheist he gets pissed off at the set dressing for a 'post your favorite snack' thread
I certainly hope you grow out of this.

>> No.13548529
File: 2 KB, 107x125, 1484191464286s.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13548529

>>13546012

>> No.13548676
File: 46 KB, 420x315, beer-steamed-soft-shell-clams-ck-x.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13548676

>>13545010
couple pounds of steamers cooked in beer with some butter

>> No.13548687

>>13545010
Peter was a known homo. Why he got on the cross upside down.

>> No.13548857
File: 33 KB, 300x265, great.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13548857

>>13546049
>Too bad it's all bullshit.
Jesus is real and he's alive right now. He sits at the right hand of the Father, read your Bible fren

>> No.13548909
File: 2.78 MB, 1920x1080, almond.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13548909

>ctrl+f "almonds"
>"0 results"
How the fuck?

>> No.13548912

>>13548909
One of the most unholy snacks available. Stop destroying the planet.

>> No.13548955

>>13545010
Bacon butty. Simple, foolproof and delicious.

>> No.13548979

>>13545010
hummus nigga with some of them burrito wraps crisped up in the oven with some sea salt on em

simple easy to make and delicious and not super unhealthy

>> No.13548995

>>13545010
apple

>> No.13549004
File: 35 KB, 406x406, 1251361367.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13549004

>>13545010
here you go my dude

>> No.13549320

>>13548524
Suck yourself off godboi while your god watches so it can see how you like it when you get to your heaven. Something for you to look forward to, why wait and take your life now, be with your god forever and ever, enjoy your non-existent heaven, oops, I spoilt the ending.

>> No.13549441

>>13545010
Snacks are AIDS.
You can't get to heaven if you eat snacks.

>> No.13549639

>>13546049
I sometimes like to think heaven is real not for myself, but for truly good people who were positive influences like my grandma or kids who didn't get a chance to live past teenhood. The idea of an afterlife also really piques my interest because it sounds great to be able to observe the earth and what people do centuries from now.