Cook-Along

[Cook-Along No.13511090]

Today I’ll be making an Italian sub. I’ve noticed that most posts on this board are all about fast food, youtubers, and other dog shit nowadays, so I’m doing a good old-fashioned cook-along. Although making a sandwich is seen by many to be one of the simplest kitchen tasks imaginable (and rightfully so), I was taught that there’s a right way and a wrong way to do everything in life; and I believe I’ve perfected the method. This guide, my methods and my explanations are really designed more for the beginner armature sandwich artist, but I’m always open to critique and criticism by those who are more experienced, so please feel free to post if you feel I can improve.
Pic related is my list of ingredients. The total cost of all the foods I needed for my meal was right around $5.77. Notice that I forgot to take a picture of some of my ingredients, the mayo, the frozen fruit/juice, and my frozen fries, but I still included their respective prices. Was it all worth it? I’ll talk about that later. First, lets get to “cooking” (more like assembling, but who’s counting).

[Cook-Along No.13511096]

My first step is to prepare the cooked ingredients. I don’t want my almost completed sandwich to sit idly by while my bacon and prosciutto cooks. If I get started on the cooked meats first, by the time I’m almost finished assembling my sandwich, the bacon and prosciutto will be finished.

So first, the bacon. This might be one of the most controversial parts of my sandwich, mainly because of the price, and honestly, rightfully so. The total cost of my meal was approximately $5.77, and the two slices of bacon cost $1.40. This means the two strips of bacon I used is just about 25% of my entire meal. I got the bacon at Whole Foods, and in my defense, there’s a location right next to my house. But is the bacon any better than the cheap stuff you can get at any old grocery store? I honestly don’t think so.I probably won’t buy it again; the price just doesn’t justify the purchase.

To cook it, I’m using a Lodge carbon steel pan, of course if you’re emulating my preparation you could use any pan, but I like this one because it’s large enough to encompass the entire strip of bacon without needing it to fold on itself. Why am I cooking it in the oven, you ask? Bacon fried on the stovetop heats unevenly, causing it to curl. If you heat the bacon in an oven, the heat is distributed evenly, preventing curling. The downsides of course are that bacon grease tends to splatter when cooked, and you’ll have to clean your oven to prevent burnt oil from accumulating. Obviously I’m in-between oven cleanings, so please, no judgements. I don’t find preheating necessary, I’ll pop the pan and the bacon into a cold oven, and I set the temperature at 500 degrees, checking now and then to see that it’s not burning. I’ll flip the bacon once to ensure even crispiness. After I finish eating, I’ll collect the bacon grease into a jar, let it cool, and put it in the fridge. A bit of bacon fat when sautéing food in place of traditional cooking oil improves the taste of foods immensely in my opinion.

[Cook-Along No.13511103]

Next, I will prepare my prosciutto. I’m using a smaller version of my Lodge carbon steel pan. I used a small dollop of bacon fat to grease the pan. Unlike the bacon, I feel it necessary to preheat the prosciutto pan; I turned my fire to medium heat, and once the pan gives off slight wisps of smoke, I’ll drop the prosciutto. You’re looking for crispiness, be careful not to leave it on for too long, as prosciutto burns easily. This is what the side looks like before it’s been cooked, I’ll show you what it looks like in a subsequent picture when it’s done.

[Cook-Along No.13511109]

Onto the bread. Jimmy Johns sells day old bread for 50 cents a loaf; although there might be cheaper options, I find Jimmy Johns bread to be a great option: the bread is spongy and porous, easily absorbing the mayonnaise/other spreads that you might see fit to add. When they sell them, they sell an entire loaf, about 16 inches in total length. That’s way too much for me, so I’ll cut it in half. Then, I’ll cut the bread in half lengthwise. Many sandwich places, Jimmy Johns included, will leave a small sliver of bread when they cut them open, instead of splitting it in half completely as I have. This is a fine way to make a sandwich, but I’ve found with the amount of ingredients I use, the sandwich is quite literally ready to burst by the time I finish assembly, and once I take a bite I cannot prevent the filling of the sandwich from falling out, making a huge fucking mess (what I like to call “filling burst”). The next time you’re at a Jimmy Johns, pay close attention to how the wagies prepare your sandwich bread. They cut open the bread, then they’ll scoop out parts of the inside of the bread and throw it in the trash. When your sandwich is completed, the ingredients are sealed into the sandwich because they’ve removed part of the bread, preventing “filling burst”. I find this unacceptable; why the fuck would I pay for some shit-stain to throw out half my fucking bread? Plus if you look at the amount of meat and vegetables they use and compare it to mine, it’s not even close.
Nothing quite fucks over a sandwich like eating the ingredients separately because it couldn’t hold together; I have found similar results when eating poorly constructed and cooked burgers as well. My method of cutting the bread completely open requires you to balance the ingredients, especially towards the final stages of assembly, as to not tip the sandwich over, causing the same headache I mentioned before, but I’ll give you guys some tips as I move closer to completion.

[Cook-Along No.13511116]

I’m noticing that I probably should have taken more pictures, but fuck it. I’ve now spread the mayonnaise and put some Muffalata onto my sandwich in this picture. Let’s talk mayo: some people like it, some people hate it. Personally I like mayo; I find it an integral part of any good sandwich. The mayonnaise has a binding effect; sealing your sandwich together to prevent “filling burst”, and also giving some moisture to the sandwich. I’m sure we’ve all had dry sandwiches that after a few bites feels like you’re chewing on sawdust, forcing you to guzzle drinks to finish eating it. Nobody wants that. Although it’s hard to see in this picture, trust me, I’m using a decent amount of mayo. It’s not dripping off the bread/an obscene amount, but I’ll be honest; I put about 2-3 scoops and spread it. This is one of the problems I’ve seen with other people/restaurants that make sandwiches: they put way too little spread, whether it’s mayo, mustard, or whatever, and the sandwich ends up dry as fuck.

So what is Muffalata, you ask? According to Wikipedia, “The muffuletta is both a type of round Sicilian sesame bread and a popular sandwich that originated among Italian immigrants in New Orleans, Louisiana, using the same bread. […] The signature olive salad consists of olives diced with the celery, cauliflower and carrot found in a jar of giardiniera, seasoned with oregano and garlic, covered in olive oil, and allowed to combine for at least 24 hours.” Simply put, Muffalata/muffuletta is a type of sandwich that dagos eat, similar to the American Italian sub. Somewhere down the line, people started to refer to the olive, vegetable, and olive oil spread as Muffalata as well. Nowadays if you google Muffalata you get pictures of both the sandwich and the spread as well.

[Cook-Along No.13511123]

I’m not familiar with the nomenclature but I am familiar to the taste: it can be mild or spicy, but the manufacturers of this particular jar, “That Pickle Guy”, describes it as this: “That Pickle Guy CLASSIC Olive Muffalata is our most famous blend of delicious, ripe, juicy olives and succulent garden vegetables making it an irresistible mouth watering combination! It tastes so good that it could only be named….”THE CLASSIC BLEND” Now you can obtain this secret ingredient for much less than the airfare into NOLA. Flavor Profile: Incredible Layers of olive sensations blended with fresh vegetable characters followed with a delicious zippy finish. Every bite will place YOU and YOUR palate in the heart of the French Quarter!”

Although it was created in New Orleans, “That Pickle Guy” is a Chicago based company; if there are any fellow Chicagoland anons lurking ITT, you might recall this product being sold and samples being handed out years ago at various Costcos in Chicagoland. That’s how I was introduced to it. Unlike traditional, NOLA Muffalata, the Muffalata from That Pickle Guy is more akin to Chicago’s giardiniera. I like to use a generous amount; being from Chicagoland, I’ll either put this Muffalata or giardiniera on every sandwich I eat; I use them interchangeably, especially now because I recently moved from the Chicago suburbs to the Dallas suburbs, and I miss the food I grew up with. I’m using the spicy variant in this preparation.

[Cook-Along No.13511130]

Next, on goes the first of my meats, this one being the Honey Ham. I’ve tried different types of ham, from Virginia to Black Forest, but I’d be lying to you if I said I had solid reasoning for preferring Honey Ham. I guess I could say that “the sweetness of Honey Ham contrasts with the saltiness of the other ingredients of the sandwich”, but I’m not fucking Gordon Ramsay over here; there’s way too much going on with my sandwich to be able to distinguish specific tastes of the ham; I’ve got like 10 different ingredients, all with different tastes to them. My palate is not refined enough to tell the difference, but if yours is, feel free to experiment with what type of ham you use. My other excuse is that Honey Ham typically costs less than the other types of ham at my grocery store, so this is what I went with.

Also, you might have noticed in my OP that I’ve gone with deli sliced meat instead of prepackaged meat, vacuum sealed from a factory. This I do find necessary. For some reason I cannot abide the taste of those prepackaged lunch meats; they have a lesser, almost chemical taste to them when you compare it with the freshly sliced stuff. I didn’t notice it for the majority of my life, but a few years ago I tried them side by side to test, and ever since then I’ve gone with the deli sliced. I guess it’s kinda like 144hz monitors or sunglasses; I got along fine without them for the vast majority of my life, but one day I tried them and now I can never go back.

[Cook-Along No.13511135]

Next, I’m putting on my cheese. I went with this “3 pepper Colby Jack”, and I’m definitely breaking from tradition here, but it’s been pretty good so far. For years I used to go exclusively with provolone, but I’m doing some changes from my original formula, and I gotta say, the extra bit of heat I get with the cheese is nice.

[Cook-Along No.13511140]

Now here’s where I’m gonna have to get super autistic on you guys (more than I’ve already been). I went from mayo, to Muffalata, to ham, to cheese, and I’ve done this for a very specific reason. I was watching Food Network a few years ago and during the commercial, there was an advertisement for a web show that The Food Network was sponsoring, called “You’re Eating It Wrong”, a show where a soyboy takes common foods and explains better ways to consume them. For example he tests out movie theater popcorn in one episode, and the best way to disperse that fake movie theater butter on your kernels (he proceeded to take a couple of fucking straws, squeeze them into each other making one long super straw, and attaching it to the butter dispenser’s nozzle; thereby allowing you to add butter to various parts of your popcorn bucket. Fucking ridiculous, I know. But one segment on his show detailed the “best way to eat a sandwich”, and it caught my attention.

Link related: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYrxodP9DBY

When I watched that commercial those years ago, I got fucking pissed, probably as pissed as you guys are right now after watching that. Fuck this total faggot and his gay way of telling me how to eat my fucking food. But as I said, there’s a right way and a wrong way to do everything in life, and making sandwiches correctly is part of that. As you guys are now well aware, I am a proponent of structurally sound sandwiches, as my eternal enemy is “filling burst”. I’ve always struggled with making sandwiches because every time I’d make one, all my fillings would come out. But using his method of layering ingredients that have more friction, I completely eliminate “filling burst”.

[Cook-Along No.13511145]

Now I’m putting on a layer of roast beef. I’ll take this opportunity to talk about what size portions you should be buying if you’re going to a grocery store deli. I don’t have a GF, I don’t have any roommates, and I don’t live with my parents; all the food I buy is for myself, and if it goes bad because I buy too much, I have to throw it away and waste food and money; two things I despise to my core. I don’t know if it’s because when I bought it it was fresh, ready to eat, and when I throw it out it’s moldy/smelly/gone bad and it’s all due to my inability to judge the size of my meals and the quickness of how much food I go through, but that’s just how it is I guess. That’s why for all my deli products, I bought “1/5th of a pound”, an amount most of you with girlfriends probably laugh at. It’s enough for one person, that’s why I’m buying such a little amount.

I also want to take this opportunity to tell you guys not to pile on too much meat: I only used one slice (I tell the deli slave to cut my stuff as thin as possible) of each meat, and before I put it on my sandwich I’ll cut the meats in half again to fit them properly on the sandwich, meaning there’s two layers of each meat. Two layers of ham and two layers of roast beef equals 4 layers of meat (for now); and that’s already quite a mouthful. Adding any more will throw off the balance of your sandwich; too much meat and your sandwich will hard to eat; no amount of mayo or spreads will alleviate the dryness involved with too much protein.

[Cook-Along No.13511149]

My bacon is finished; this is the color you’re looking for. Any darker than this and your bacon will crumble into a fine dust upon contact with your teeth, making again for a dry sandwich. Also notice that the ends of the bacon aren’t curled, this is because I cooked it in the oven. I’m also taking this time to drop my fries. These Checkers/Rally’s Famous Seasoned Fries are by far the best frozen fries I’ve ever had, but they’re fickle. They burn easily and if you don’t eat them fast enough they dry out and go cold. In this instance I used vegetable oil because it’s what I had, but I’ve used canola oil and it was fine; basically and neutral oil with a highish smoke point will do. I have a thermometer and I just make sure the oil is over 450 degrees before I drop them. If they don’t sizzle when you drop them in oil, it means it isn’t hot enough, and your fries will absorb a shit load of oil and end up tasting like dog shit.

So why am I using frozen, store bought fries instead of fresh made potatoes? Simply put, time and ease. It takes a bunch more time to cut a few potatoes into fries. It takes time to cut neatly, making sure each fry is about the same size, to ensure they cook evenly. It takes time to soak them in a brine overnight to get the best results. I don’t have the time, patience, or fridge space to do this, especially when frozen French fry technology has progressed to such an advanced state that these Checkers/Rally fries satiate my fry lust. An added bonus is that these frozen fries are also good when you bake them in the oven, but remember to check them constantly because again they burn fast.

[Cook-Along No.13511157]

Here’s the completed fries. I fry them on medium high for no more than 4 minutes. Make sure you place down some paper towels before throwing them on a plate; no point in eating all that excess oil. Notice the color? It’s nearly impossible to see if they’re done or not when frying by color alone; you’re gonna have to try one and see if it’s crispy enough to make sure it’s done.

[Cook-Along No.13511162]

Next, on go my tomatoes. I’ve always used Roma tomatoes, I don’t know why. They are cheap, and I figure I’m making an Italian sub, might as well go with an Italian tomato (maybe it’s actually a gypsy tomato, who knows). I cut my tomatoes so that they’re a quarter inch thick, I don’t know if that’s considered relatively thin or thick, but I think it’s a good size. Don’t be afraid of thicker cut tomatoes; the water in them will make for a less dry sandwich. And in case there are any noobs who don’t know how to cut or dice circular foods like tomatoes, potatoes or onions, here’s how: cut it in half first, and place the flat side down on your cutting board. Now you’ll have a solid and stable base to cut individual strips of whatever you’re cutting, in this case, tomatoes.

[Cook-Along No.13511167]

Onto the pepperoni. For years I went with deli cut pepperoni, and it was perfectly fine. But at whole foods they have a brand of pepperoni from a manufacturer called “Gusto”. It’s pretty spicy; it’s got a decent kick to it, and I think its miles ahead of regular pepperoni or any other kind of salami. I used 7 slices just to cover the sandwich; again you don’t want to go overboard with meats; I found that this is a good amount.

[Cook-Along No.13511170]

And here’s the onions. I used the same method that I used when cutting the tomatoes. I slice my onions super thin; nobody wants to bite into a sandwich and get a mouthful of thick onions. That’s why you gotta at least try and make sure to spread them out evenly.

[Cook-Along No.13511173]

Alright, almost done. Next I’m putting on the bacon. Like everything else; you’ll want to make sure everything is even. This part is kind of difficult to do; the easiest way I’ve found it to just cut the bacon in half. This part can be messy; one of the pitfalls of my “cut the bread fully in half” method. Whereas if I did the partial cut, I could tuck the bacon into the crevice of the bread, but alas, such is life.

[Cook-Along No.13511177]

And finally, the prosciutto and lettuce. Unfortunately I forgot to take the picture before I put the lettuce on, but this part is important. As we previously discussed, cooking bacon in the oven prevents curling. I could have cooked my prosciutto in the oven as well, but I chose to cook it on the stove for a reason. The edges of the two slices of prosciutto I fried up on the stove will naturally curl up, making small “cups” of prosciutto. If I had flat prosciutto, the amount of lettuce I put on my sandwiches would be difficult to place. However since my prosciutto is curled up into cups, I can safely put the lettuce into them without having spillage or tipping. Also the lettuce/mayo contact on the top of my sandwich seals in the final part of my ingredients.

[Cook-Along No.13511181]

The all-important cross cut, as you can see I lost a bit of bacon, a necessary sacrifice. I always cut my completed sandwiches in half again: having the full, 8 inches of sandwich with this many ingredients makes it susceptible to tipping and “filling burst”, no matter how much friction between ingredients there is. The sandwich is much more controllable if it’s cut in half. So looking at the cross cut, we have: mayo, muffalata, ham, cheese, roast beef, tomatoes, pepperoni, onions, bacon, prosciutto, and lettuce. If you’ve paid attention, you’ll notice that each of these ingredients is perfectly aligned with each other to prevent filling burst. The most slippery ingredients, the tomatoes, ham, and onions, are always between ingredients that have higher friction. I’ve been making my sandwiches like this for years now, and it’s always been a success.

[Cook-Along No.13511190]

Last but not least, my drink. If you’ve ever tried to make smoothies at home, you’ll find they never taste the same as ones you get in restaurants/at smoothie places. I’ve identified the culprit: the juice of the smoothie always separates from the blended fruit portion, leaving the top of your cup filled with dry, frothy fruit particles while all the sweet, juicy goodness sinks to the bottom. Nobody wants that. The way to prevent this is to either make or buy frozen fruit. I know, I know, it’s a total rip off buying frozen fruit, something you could so easily make yourself; just buy a bunch of fucking fruit and freeze it. The problem with that is to assemble the fruit medley that I purchased pre-frozen means I’d have to buy, wash and prepare for freezing blueberries, raspberries, mangoes, strawberries, and peaches. That’s a lot of prep when I could just buy the same thing pre-frozen. Sure I’d be saving a couple bucks in the long run, but it’d be a long fucking run just to save those dollars. I will however add a just peeled banana into the mix; I find that the banana helps further bind the smoothie, further preventing it from separating.

I like adding a ratio of 1 part fruit juice to 2 parts water to the mix; I don’t like it too sweet, and plus I like tasting the natural fruit, if I wanted the full juice taste then I’d have just drank juice by itself. This time I’m going with Welch’s Passion Fruit, but I enjoy their other offerings as well.

[Cook-Along No.13511193]

Well, it’s time to eat. Total money invested in this meal: about $5.77 cents. Total time invested: about 45 minutes. Yes, it took me 45 fucking minutes to make my meal. I have no idea why; like I’ve said I’ve been doing this for years now. I don’t know why it takes me this fucking long to make it, you’d think id’ have this down faster by now, but I don’t. It’s just assembling a fucking sandwich, how hard could it be, especially when I’ve done it a countless number of times by now?? Well I am a slow eater as well; it’ll probably take me like 20 minutes to eat this entire meal. I also want to point out that I’ve compared my sandwich to Jimmy Johns, I even use their bread. Well a similar order at Jimmy Johns (an Italian Night Club, an order of chips, a pickle, and a large fountain drink) would cost me $12.18, not including tax. Some obvious differences are that I made fries and a smoothie, something that Jimmy Johns would probably charge 5 dollars for on its own if they sold it. Some subtle differences are that I didn’t scoop out half of my bread, and I put way more fucking ingredients, both meats and vegetables in my sandwich. But still, I invested 45 minutes into making this, and I still have to do my dishes. At the end of the day, was it worth it? For me, yes, for you, I don’t know. You might be thinking; all this fuss for a fucking sandwich, what a faggot. Well, you might be right, but again, there’s a right way and a wrong way to do everything in life, and I think I’ve got the right way.

Thanks for reading boys.

[Anonymous No.13511195]

>>13511090
I guess that's one way to make Swiss cheese.

[Cook-Along No.13511207]

>>13511195
The holes made by a 5.56/.223 bullet, the common cartridge chambered by a traditional AR-15 are very small. This is what they look like compared to a dime. You'd need at least a .308 caliber bullet, or larger, to poke Swiss cheese holes.

[None !2Code3TV3M No.13511277]

>>13511140
given the video you posted >>13511177
seems a lot like you didnt follow the advice of dispersing your greens throughout it

i'd suggest the tomatoes in the same layer as the lettuce for the same slipping reasons they mention in the video, but also because if you put it high in the sandwich you're more likely to just get it stuck in your teeth

good thread though op, a lot of writing just for a sandwich though

[Anonymous No.13511283]

>>13511090
nice OC which is rare these days
thanks

[Anonymous No.13511695]

Really enjoyed reading this I’ll have to try it out one day.

[Anonymous No.13511721]

>>13511090
>GUYS I have A GUN
>LOOK AT ME I HAVE A GUN

Sure

[Anonymous No.13511924]

>>13511721
I'd probably shoot myself if I were a European

[Anonymous No.13512022]

>>13511090
Good looking LMT, Anon. Have a (you)

[Cook-Along No.13512689]

>>13512022
Hey thanks man, I'm thinking of giving it to my dad though and buying an SR-15.

[Anonymous No.13512736]

>>13511193
When you consider that it took 5.75 to make and took you 45 minutes to make I think you just paid yourself less than minimum wage to make that.

[Cook-Along No.13512827]

>>13512736
Although I do see your point, I don't see it like that. For instance; I just washed my own car a few days ago. I used about 1/5 of a bottle of $15 car soap and wax, and i don't even know, maybe 25 cents of water? Does this mean I wasted my time spending $3.25 washing my car? I don't think so, because going to a car wash would have cost me like $15-$20. By doing things myself, I save the cost of having someone else do it for me.

[Anonymous No.13513139]

>>13512827
You’re using way too much “ car soap” a few tablespoons of a $1 thing of dawn will get you just as far. The wax is understandable and that’s a premium at car washes they probably won’t do by hand.

[Anonymous No.13513185]

>>13511721
Gunfags are so cringe. They do this, and they think they're better than roasties who just happened to place their $2,000 designer handbag (that they bought on credit) somewhere in half their insta pics.

[Anonymous No.13513804]

>>13511721
I'm a gun guy who would go to war to keep to keep the second amendment and i agree with you. People that pose with their weapons and show them off blatantly like this are massively cringe.

[Anonymous No.13513811]

That's a shit load of text for a sandwich making thread.

[Anonymous No.13513898]

looks good im hungry

[Anonymous No.13513922]

>>13511109
>>13511193
Why is that bread so pale?

[Anonymous No.13514139]

op youre doing it all wrong. you should make a salad with your onions and lettuce, covering them in some olive oil and vinegar with some salt and pepper added. This will help your dryness problem and add flavor, just remember not to make your salad too wet. You could also try keeping all the greens in layers in the center, between the meat and cheese to keep it all from falling out. Using a nice roll with the center carved out and opened on one side is good for keeping everything contained as well. The type of completely split roll style you use here always seems like the most difficult to eat to me unless the bread is flat enough. No one can reasonably fit that shit into their mouth, dude. For someone who wrote an entire novel on their sandwich making techniques, you really fucked it up. That is only my opinion anyways, you can do what you like at the end of the day.

[Anonymous No.13514392]

>>13511721
>>13511924
>>13513804
>>13513185
Enlighten me as a non american, why some of you do this?
I would totally understand if this was say a personal table, or the picture was about survivalism, fighting zombies, killing librulz etc, but why do you have to put your gun in your picture?

or maybe I'm a dumb ignorant faggot who doesn't know americans like to display their guns on kitchen counter next to utensils.

[Anonymous No.13514403]

>>13514392
it's probably his kitchen gun

[Anonymous No.13514418]

>>13514392
>why do you have to put your gun in your picture?
He knew it would get him (You)’s

>>13514403
I legit had a coworker a few year ago that had at least one gun in every single room in his house. He even had a bathroom gun. When I asked him if he had a shower gun he legit stopped in his tracks and you could see him thinking for a second. He turned to me and said “now that you mention it I should have a shower gun. When am I more vulnerable then when I’m naked in the shower. It should be a marine coated shotgun Incase I have soap in my eyes and I’m having trouble aiming.”

He was dead serious.

[Anonymous No.13514434]

>>13514418
https://concealednation.org/2019/07/man-breaks-into-house-while-homeowner-taking-shower-close-by-shower-gun-comes-in-handy/

Why you wouldn't want to be armed during your most vulnerable state is beyond me

[Anonymous No.13514454]

>>13514434
Not him, and I would, but putting guns in everyroom would increase the risk of an unarmed invader obtaining it.

In case of the news, his home was invaded many times so I would assume it is more okay.

[Anonymous No.13514470]

>>13514418
Sounds pretty based. Guess I'll have a shower gun too.

[Anonymous No.13514476]

>>13514470
He was a bretty cool guy.

[Anonymous No.13514495]

>>13511090
Based effort poster anon
>>13511193
Based cat

Sandwich seems too greasy for me, imo. Is it as greasy as it seems like it would be?

[Anonymous No.13514944]

>>13511193
>gaming chair
>palest bread ive seen in ages
>drinking a fucking smoothie with a sandwich and a pickled cucumber
still though, cozy wall of text

[Anonymous No.13514967]

>>13511103
>I’m using a smaller version of my Lodge carbon steel pan
If this one isn't yours, did you borrow it?

[Anonymous No.13514991]

>>13511090
>>13511096
>>13511103
>>13511109
>>13511116
>>13511123
>>13511130
>>13511135
>>13511140
>>13511145
>>13511149
>>13511157
>>13511162
>>13511167
>>13511170
>>13511173
>>13511177
>>13511181
>>13511190
>>13511193
Nice funz, meme chair. Also that seems like an absurd amount of mayo for a sandwich. I should probably try stacking my sandwiches better, they seem to squirt out of the back end.

[Anonymous No.13515000]

>pepperoni 8 dollars
>7 slices 30 cents

What? So there are around 200 slices in that tiny package?

[Anonymous No.13515046]

cool stuff op but for the love of god put your substitute penis away for next time

[Anonymous No.13515731]

>>13511193
This image paints a pretty bleak portrait of this guy’s life. There is literally zero females in this guy’s life and hasn’t been for some time. A cat, cheap furniture, guns strewn about and a fruit smoothie to wash town a sandwich and pickle. Just why?

[Anonymous No.13515762]

>>13515731

[Anonymous No.13515802]

Holy shit the autism of this OP. It's a fucking italian hoagie. Dude wrote a fucking novel about it.

[Anonymous No.13515837]

>>13514944
>>drinking a fucking smoothie with a sandwich and a pickled cucumber
Why is this a problem?

[Anonymous No.13515866]

>>13512689
They're nice, but the LMT MRP is objectively better than their current fuck stick rails. It's the same mounting technology as a DPMS and they're extruded like everyone else. MRP or RIS II are by far better handguard options.

Maybe spend the money on a more modernized AK instead? RD is supposed to have an AK 12 coming out.

[Anonymous No.13515922]

Imagine being OPs girlfriend
>sweetie could you make me one of those sandwiches you always seem to be eating? I’m quite famished and it looks delicious
>OP then spends the next FOURTY FIVE minutes making a single sandwich, app the while rambling on to her about shitskins and “filling burst”

[Anonymous No.13515937]

>>13515731
that's like the best life right there

[Anonymous No.13515945]

>>13514476
>was
Didn't get the shower gun in time

[Anonymous No.13515957]

You really have to show off the gun in your pictures you fucking stupid Yank?

[Anonymous No.13515959]

>>13515937
keep telling yourself that long enough and you'll believe it's true.

[Anonymous No.13515964]

>>13515945
actually he just kind of disappeared one day. he was kind of a drifter who would stay in one place for a couple years then just pack up all his stuff and move somewhere else and start again. he's had an interesting life.

[Anonymous No.13515969]

>>13515922
Terrible post. You didn't even comment on OPs autism.

[Anonymous No.13515979]

This has to be the most autistic thread I’ve seen in a long time. Well done OP.

[Anonymous No.13515991]

>>13515959
I already believe it, retard

[Anonymous No.13516011]

>>13511090
>>13511181
This is not an Italian hoagie. This is a random combination of meats on a roll with mayo.

Italian hoagie is:
Peppered ham or prosciutto
Capicola or capicola ham
Genoa salami
Provolone cheese
Lettuce, Tomato and Onions
Hot banana peppers optional
Oil (maybe vinegar)
There is no pepperoni, there is no roast beef, there is never for the love of god ever fucking mayo, there are no pickles, there is no bacon or colby jack cheese.

Your random meat sandwich does look decent though, but it's not an Italian hoagie
t. Philly

[Anonymous No.13516017]

damn, OP is getting crushed. /ck/ is a cruel mistress

[Anonymous No.13516148]

I congratulate you for making worthwhile content. Great thread.

Your sandwich looks disgusting and I have no idea why you feel the need to put so many different ingredients on there. Also normal people fix sandwich dryness by either having better bread or using a small amount of butter instead of lathering it in fucking mayo.

[Anonymous No.13516188]

>>13515046
>substitute penis
Top kek

[Anonymous No.13516202]

>>13511116
>$21 jar of olives
>claims this is 5 cents worth
This whole thread is pure autism, but this is the thing that bothered me the most. I guarantee you will not get 400 of those servings out of that jar.

[Anonymous No.13516204]

>>13516148
>Your sandwich looks disgusting and I have no idea why you feel the need to put so many different ingredients on there.
because it's a sandwich and the only way he could justify making a whole thread for a sandwich was to massively over complicate it.

[Anonymous No.13516223]

>>13511181
The absolute state of that bread
do americans really bake bread like this

[Anonymous No.13516283]

I love OP for triggering all you faggots and euros

[Anonymous No.13517598]

>>13515837
its not a problem. the thought of it just grosses me out but you do you mane :)

[Anonymous No.13518134]

>>13516223
Flyovers get that kind of bread fresh from Wal-mart. Real states get real bread from bakeries.

[Anonymous No.13518182]

>>13518134
>>13516223
>>13514944
>>13513922
It's bread from Jimmy Johns; they bake it fresh daily, but you can buy "day old" bread for 50 cents a loaf.

[Anonymous No.13519111]

>>13515731
>mfw op is actually a cat
>mfw a cat has more guns and better sandwiches than you

[Anonymous No.13519484]

>>13518182
I have no idea who this Jimmy fellow is, but why the fuck would you buy stale bread?

[Anonymous No.13520061]

>>13511090
why would you make this sandywich? looking at your picture the cost of it costs more then one from subway or jersey mikes.

[Anonymous No.13520083]

>>13511193
holy shit anon
all this effort for a shitty, unhealthy sandwich full of subpar ingredients
I'd tell you to go kill yourself but you're right on track already, mate

[Anonymous No.13520088]

>>13515731
OP suffers extreme alienation under capitalism, substituting purchases for personality, so crushed under the weight of his lack of interesting hobbies that he spends all this time making a shitpost about a mediocre sandwich.

[Anonymous No.13520094]

>>13520088
Personally I consider firearms to be a rewarding hobby, but then again I'm not a brainless and effeminate E*uropean that has no liberties

[Anonymous No.13520175]

>>13511193
great thread, op
please post more OC like this in the future
godspeed

[Anonymous No.13520183]

>>13520094
with all these "liberties" you're free to spend 45 minutes making a sandwich worse than you'd actually have gotten at jimmy johns

[Anonymous No.13520191]

Good thread OP, always good to see some OC. Might wanna try this with better bread like an actual baguette though the one you used looks bland, dense, bad in general. Obviously I'm biased since I'm French.

[Anonymous No.13520214]

>>13516017
/ck/ isnt a cruel mistress its a shithole

[Anonymous No.13520223]

>>13520214
Hey mister, I’ll have you know it’s not a crack house, it’s a crack home. Also it’s an election year and OP has scary guns, for which hired “opinion influencers” will call for backup and try to socially shame him using any available means.

[Anonymous No.13520227]

>>13518182
>acting like Jimmy John's bread is good

[Anonymous No.13520236]

>>13511193
>assembling sandwiches for each other
>shooting funs
>gaming cat
this post has me all turned on now

[Anonymous No.13520242]

>>13516011
So what you're saying is that real Italian hoagies are mediocre at best since they lack mayo and pickles?

[Anonymous No.13520243]

>>13520242
>thinks mayo and pickles improve a sandwich
pic related: you (except you're prob brown)