Cats on the kitchencounter

[Anonymous No.13486511]

How do you keep them off it? Had to take care of one since the person went to travel. Said i should give it a good smack. Thats what i did, just a good hit and the kitterino took off like a rocket. Later when i heard him jump on it i just needed to look or make sound at him and he jumps off.

Whats with all these online blogs or tips about lemon shit but not giving it a good hit. It learns that kitchencounter/dinnertable=ouchie if you just smack it.
>but it will do it when you sleep or are not around
How hard is it to give the counter a scrub or wipe? Also using a cuttingboard works.

[Anonymous No.13486529]

>>13486511
Yeah just swat at them or use a spray bottle, there’s nothing enticing up there so they give up easily

[Anonymous No.13486530]

>>13486511
Cats don't give a fuck about what you want, they'll do it while you're not looking. Just clean each time you prep or cook and you'll be fine. Mine is a sneaky lil bitch but i love her. I just clean before just to make sure.

[Anonymous No.13486540]

>>13486511
Play a scary sound when you catch your kitty on the countertop. Get a little buzzer or a click noise. Guess if that doesn't work just shoo them off.

[Anonymous No.13486543]

>>13486529
You want your cat to hate you? Just put them on the ground and they learn eventually. You might also consider that cats are very curious and like to see their environment and what your doing. Set up a chair or something so they can see whatever's on the counter.

[Anonymous No.13486597]

>>13486511
>>13486529
Smacking your cat doesn't work well. Cats don't understand cause and effect punishment, they just think you're being aggressive and they will start to treat you, rather than the counter, different in the future.

>>13486543
This. I've also heard you can rub hot pepper on the environment and they'll learn they won't want to be on it.

[Anonymous No.13486606]

Ive whapped the shit out of my cat for being on the counters. Doesnt do shit. Ive also grabbed the kitchen sprayer and hosed that fucker down and he still didnt give a fuck. I just lock him outside and do a deep clean every time I cook which is like 2x a week because idgaf anymore either

[Anonymous No.13486608]

>>13486511
Tiny nerf gun is the best way

[Anonymous No.13486615]

>>13486543
You’re right I’ll start with placing them on the ground, I assumed OP was having problems where that wasn’t working

[Anonymous No.13486626]

>>13486511
I wonder if this ever happens to that one anon who always posts cooking threads featuring his counter kitty.

[Anonymous No.13486632]

>>13486626
based cat

[Anonymous No.13486659]

>>13486597
Hot pepper can work but usually it doesn't because it doesn't smell much, it end up on their paws and later when they clean themselves, they start to freak out when the burn kicks in.

[Anonymous No.13486673]

>>13486511
When you own cats, you just have to accept that there's cat poop and cat hair on everything you own and everything you eat. Stop fighting it and just accept it.

[Anonymous No.13486684]

>>13486511
Both cats and dogs can be trained to stay off the furniture if you grow a pair of balls and actually punish them when they do something they shouldn't.
Sounds like basic shit but I still see pet owners every single fucking day who haven't figured it out.

[Anonymous No.13486690]

>>13486511
There is no way to prevent them from getting on but all I have to do is say "down" and the dumbass jumps down.
This is usually the fatass who tries to drink from the sink but skinny asshole likes to lick plastic bags.

[Anonymous No.13486706]

>>13486690
Yeah wtf every cat i had or met in my life were addicted to plastic bags. If i leave one out, it's gonna get licked to death. Kinda dangerous really, she could swallow a piece and choke

[Anonymous No.13486708]

>>13486511
get a water sprayer and keep the faggots drenched whenever they disobey you

[Anonymous No.13486710]

>>13486708
Edgy bait bad. Shoo shooo

[Anonymous No.13486727]

>>13486708
Ill give this a whirl next time i have to take care of it.

[Anonymous No.13486734]

>>13486511
Take a lesson from this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hddCpJ8MfVo
A soda can with some pennies in it works as a great noisemaker to scare them off. Make sure you tell it no, or some sort of verbal cue to tie to what you're teaching it.
Alternatively, a cat is fine too.

[Anonymous No.13486738]

>>13486727
Samefag
>>13486708

[Anonymous No.13486756]

>>13486511
boxes in places not on the counter

[Anonymous No.13486760]

>>13486738
?

[Anonymous No.13486774]

>>13486608
How long have you worked for the ATF? Is the pay really as bad as they say?

[Anonymous No.13486825]

cats are disgusting and cat """""""""""people"""""""""" are subhuman

[Anonymous No.13486830]

>>13486774
ATF only shoots dogs i work for ICE

[Anonymous No.13486847]

>>13486626
lmao

[Anonymous No.13486856]

>>13486825
I agree

[Anonymous No.13486859]

kitchen hygiene is my favorite

[Anonymous No.13486921]

>>13486706
First one for me. He lives to lick plastic bags. He will find them even if he has to climb onto the top of the fridge to get at the plastic sandwich bags.

[Anonymous No.13486924]

>>13486859

[Anonymous No.13486938]

>>13486859
That is disgusting.

[Anonymous No.13486983]

>>13486511
my mom has 13 cats...son 18

[Anonymous No.13486993]

Live with two cats, neither of them jump on kitchen counters/stoves/whatever. They will climb on pretty much everything else though.

[Anonymous No.13487001]

>>13486708
>>13486727
You don't need to spray them with water. I don't know what kind of lazy idiot first came up with that.
Shout "No!" at them. Maybe slap you palm on the table for emphasis. Then push them off the table if they haven't already hopped off.
They will learn very quickly both that no actually means no and also that they don't belong on the table/counter etc.
This should be THE absolutely most basic part of owning any pet. You have to show them they don't own the fucking house.
They will not be mentally traumatised from being put in place once in a while. It's not abuse to give them a push or a little rap over the snout when they misbehave. If you have two or more of them you'll see them putting one another in place far rougher.

>>13486859
Obviously not in use anyway since that'd melt the cathairs.

[Anonymous No.13487017]

>>13487001
Spray bottles actually work though, and are especially useful for cats that get combative if you try and touch them.

Note, I don't think anyone should keep a cat that's prone to attacking, but sometimes you're cat sitting or some shit.

[Anonymous No.13487045]

>>13487017
I suppose it might be different with catsitting, but if you can't approach your own cat without being attacked you are unfit to own it.
It reminds me of those parents who put a fucking leash on their child, although I'd say that's actually more excusable since a 4-year-old human is not as trainable as an 8-month-old cat or dog.

[Anonymous No.13487107]

>>13486511
>How do you keep them off it?
I've heard a few sheets of aluminum foil on a sofa or countertop works. Maybe a deck cards or something under it to raise it a bit in areas. It scares them. They jump on a sofa, or something else, and the foil immediately moves and crinkles, and they jump the heck off of it.

It goes without saying, NEVER EVER leave food or a hot burner unattended. You can do things like use back burners, and park the cooling pot on the front burner.

[Anonymous No.13487109]

>>13487045
Season your wok folks! Prevents cat from sticking.

[Anonymous No.13487125]

>>13487045
I have that exact same wok, it's cheap shit

[Anonymous No.13487227]

>>13487001
she looks just like my little kitten but plus 25lbs and it is my greatest nightmare that she will grow up fat like this.

[Anonymous No.13487235]

>>13486511
whattt you dont let preshus furbabbys roam freee what a bad catdaddy u are how else will they boop snoots or gib mlem mlem mlems?

[Anonymous No.13487238]

>>13486511
Spray bottles full of water are good, so are water pistols. Cats hate water so just spray the fuckers when they jump on the counter, they'll quickly learn whats up

[Anonymous No.13487249]

>>13486511
what I've done, noting that my cats hatehatehate the sound of clapping, is that if I see them where they shouldn't be, I'll clap in their face real loud, then I'll pick them up and put them on the counter again, clap in their face real loud, pick them up and put them back on the counter again, clap in their face, just a couple of times, and past that I haven't really seen it be a problem. Or if they're caught in the toilet I'll hold them and slam the seat really loud in their face a couple times. mostly these aren't a big problem.
>>13486608
when my cats see the tiny nerf gun they lose their shit in a positive way, because they LOVE chasing and playing with nerf darts, it's their favorite toy.

[Anonymous No.13487277]

>>13487107
this or using double-sided tape (or packing tape flipped upside down and secured). they'll hate it.

[Anonymous No.13487279]

>>13487227
Well, are you tossing whole mackerels at her regularly?
Try not to.

[Anonymous No.13487319]

Everytime I've been to someone's place with a cat they'd have the litterbox right in the kitchen "cause it's easier to clean that way" and then right after Mister Meowingtons would have a shit and dig around his shit-filled litterbox and the whole appartment smelled like hot shit it would hope on the kitchen counter or table and walk all over the cutting boards and dishes and whatever else

>anon, you want something to eat?
yes, but also definitely no.

[Anonymous No.13487322]

>>13486760
Hax.

[Anonymous No.13487344]

>>13487319
why? my cat's litter box is in the bathroom where shit goes. i also have his food away from the kitchen cause it fucking stinks.

[Anonymous No.13487356]

>>13487319
>litterbox in the kitchen
Retards shouldn't be able to keep pets.

[Anonymous No.13487377]

>>13487344
>why?
"cause it's easier to clean that way"

Also god forbid they were smokers/drinkers. Not one empty ashtray just all of them overflowing sending ash all over everything and in the air - and of course all the mostly-empty beer cans also filled with ashes and cigarette butts, be careful to not have a sip from one of the 76 identical beer cans all over the apartment!

I guess cats are the lazy person's pet. Not to turn this into a dog/cat shitpost war but even birds or whatever meme lizard or frog require more effort. You also have the people who just let their cats roam free outside to shit everywhere and kill all the wildlife.

That said I had people in my family who had cats and weren't lazy fuckups so those cats and the whole "cat experience" was pleasant enough.

[Anonymous No.13487397]

>>13486734
I had two cats, three cat boxes, I kept the cat boxes cleaned twice a week, sometimes three times a week. My female cat, which was fixed, developed a habit of peeing on the stove. Tell me what to do oh wise one.

[Anonymous No.13487418]

>>13486734
>be me
>cleaning the cat box
>cat watching and walking around
>me and the cat box are blocking the only way out of the room
>cat jumps on my back with all claws engaged and then jumps out of the room
>scream in agony
>cat then proceeds to do this again.. back into the room
>more agony
>and this repeats at least four times until the little fucker gives up on tormenting me

[Anonymous No.13487448]

I approach really quietly then suddenly scream and flail my arms like the cat lady on The Simpsons.

Now my cats shoo as soon as they see me move towards the kitchen

[Anonymous No.13487521]

>>13486859
good lord imagine the smell of turning on that burner

[Anonymous No.13487524]

>>13486511
whack it with a shovel until dead. no more cat problem!

[Anonymous No.13487544]

i don't have pets.
Why do you want to live in a house that is covered with cat and/or dog feces?

[Anonymous No.13487555]

What if you put a shelf on top of the countertop area so the cat could sit on that instead, or open a cabinet so the cat can sit inside and watch

[Anonymous No.13487580]

>>13487319
I met someone in college who had some sort of horrific compulsion to keep his cat's shit, dude had bags of it on every horizontal space in his apartment including the kitchen counters.

[Anonymous No.13487590]

>>13487544
because lonely and it's nice to have something soft and affectionate that doesn't eventually grow bored and disappointed in you

[Anonymous No.13487592]

>cat's are too stupid to understand negative reinforcement
No. They aren't. You're just a little bitch.

[Anonymous No.13487615]

>>13487544
If you know someone with a dog that covers the house with feces, that is an owner issue, not a pet issue.

[Anonymous No.13487659]

Shotgun works.

[Anonymous No.13487717]

>>13487592
They don’t understand corporal punishment.

[Anonymous No.13487730]

>>13486830
Ah, carry on then. Happy hunting!

[Anonymous No.13487758]

>>13486511
Just put him in the microwave if all else fails.

[Anonymous No.13487766]

>>13486825
LMAO guess that will add some flavor to the rice, eh?

[Anonymous No.13487776]

>>13487356
Yea let’s put it in the bedroom where we sleep or maybe the living room where we spend most of our time.

[Anonymous No.13487802]

>>13487580

[Anonymous No.13487811]

>>13487776
wow it's almost as if cats are gross and abhorrent animals to live with

[Anonymous No.13487827]

>>13487776
Do Euros not have bathrooms?

[Anonymous No.13487830]

>>13487811
You could say that about all pets since everything shits, even your wife’s pet nigger

[Anonymous No.13487833]

>>13487776
Or maybe in the bathroom which is also likely to be tiled and therefore easy to clean but which is specifically for the act of shitting.

[Anonymous No.13487840]

>>13487827
Our bathrooms don’t need to accommodate an xxxl ass so they are not as big as American bathrooms. We cannot put a litter box there. It’s easiest on the kitchen if we do not have easy access to an outdoor area for the animal.

[Anonymous No.13487847]

>>13487830
most pets don't shit huge nasty carnivore shits in a huge nasty box in the kitchen

[Anonymous No.13487858]

>>13487847
Then it’s a nasty cage, or a nasty backyard full of shit piles. Every pet is gonna shit and it’ll stink. I don’t see a big deal leaving it in the kitchen where I spend the least of my time (not American)

[Anonymous No.13487877]

>>13487858
because that's where the fucking food is you, dumb cat anus licker
fuck you catfags are gross as shit FUCK

[Anonymous No.13487891]

I have 2 cats. 1 never showed interest in jumping on the counter, the other used it as a safe space when i first got him. I just made sure he had other and more comfy places to be and hasnt happened since. Early intervention is the only thing and negative reinforcement doesnt work.

[Anonymous No.13487895]

>>13487877
There’s literally nothing wrong with that. The cat isn’t shitting on my food and the box doesn’t stink unless it just used it. You obviously have never owned an animal.

[Anonymous No.13487904]

>>13487776

put it in the bathroom you fucking mong

[Anonymous No.13487913]

>>13487592

cat's have brains smaller than your nutsack, they aren't smart

[Anonymous No.13487925]

>>13487858

nigger I've had cats my whole life and not once EVER known someone to put the litter box in the fucking KITCHEN. even when I lived in a tiny ass fucking bachelor and the litter box took up 60% of my bathroom floor space, I kept it in the fucking bathroom.

[Anonymous No.13487954]

>>13487895
stop trying to rationalize and normalize pig disgusting behaviour

[Anonymous No.13487989]

>>13487913
>presuming to know how large my nutsack is
Rather bold of you, faggot. Try asking your mother.

[Anonymous No.13487994]

>>13486511
>cats on counter
np for toxosoys!

[Anonymous No.13488000]

>>13486825
based. i fucking hate cat people.
literally every single square inch of their house is covered in a layer of microscopic feces. now watch then cope and squirm and try to mentally backflip to spin this shit. fuck cats, fuck cat people. FULL STOP

[Anonymous No.13488022]

>>13488000
>oh my good doggo is so clean! I love when he rolls around in mud and shit and sits on my pillow and farts and then he takes a shit and i looovvve picking up my good doggos fresh warm turds because hes too incompetant to use a toilet. Then good doggo licks his ass clean and licks my tongue! Such a good clean doggo!
Imagine being a dog person and acting like dogs are kore hygenic in any possible way.

[Anonymous No.13488033]

>>13488022
>huurr derpa dogs
imagine being a stinky catfag who can't stop thinking about dogs

[Anonymous No.13488048]

>>13487994
>soyboy
>black coffee
Strange days.

[Anonymous No.13488120]

>>13487397
Are you fucking retarded? Clean the box everyday. Good god, i hate my cat, but I make sure that fucker never has a full litter box. Would you like to shit in a bucket full of your own shit for days on end? Jesus fuck; I'm fucking happy that they pee on your stove.

[Anonymous No.13488140]

>>13488048
this is still a fucking soyboy even if he doesnt have a dick out for starwars.avengers

[Anonymous No.13488147]

>>13488140
>Reverse image search
>Barista
>Someone who makes coffee for other people
Honestly this just seems like a defense mechanism for people who got shat on for treating coffee as anything other than a utility beverage. Like the Starbucks crowd grasping at straws against the
>real men drink black coffee
notion that's been prevalent in recent history.

[Anonymous No.13488157]

>>13486511
honestly this alone is already a good reason to not get a cat

[Anonymous No.13488165]

>>13487544
Feces from your dogs or cats isn't an issue if you're not stacking them like some sort of disgusting, dirty chicken farm. Hair is the problem. From now on any animal I get will be either hairless (sphynx cat) or non-shedding (dog that doesn't shed). My elderly cat never used to shed but now her fur turns into daily tumbleweeds that need to be vacuumed. My dog sheds short needle-like hairs that require vacuuming every 2 days max if I don't want my place to turn into a shit show. My sphynx doesn't shed and is barely oily or dirty now that he's an adult. One day I won't have to vacuum the floors, walls, and ceilings every day keep my home from being inundated by pet hair. Anyway, feces is the least of your problems. There has never been any feces related problem or illness because of them. Just assloads of hair.

[Anonymous No.13488177]

>>13487994
What's soy about corned beef?

[Anonymous No.13488181]

>>13486511
A kitten I adopted a few years ago was a straight up savage who you could tell had to fight like 20 other cats daily to survive, so it was hard to get him to behave with counters and food. Spray bottles with water helped immensely as well as telling him no, clapping, bopping him on the head, and downright yelling at him. He's pretty well behaved, but I still can't trust to leave the room for more than a few minutes when I'm cooking or food is out uncovered even if it's something cats wouldn't usually eat. To train this cat you need to both clear your counters so nothing is there when you're gone and spray him when you are home. They learn fast.

[Anonymous No.13488196]

>>13488022
just keep the dog outside, keep his tongue away from your face and wash your hands after playing or going out with him, if you do these things the dog will be 100x hygenic than cats that you don't control at all

[Anonymous No.13488201]

>>13487238
It's too bad my favorite cat was a mentally retarded hermaphrodite who loved being squirted with water and didn't care about any form of punishment. He was the best and smartest autist cat in the world who could sit and hug on demand but could't use a litter box correctly. He'd get in it and shit and piss outside the side or entry hole. He-she also couldn't control xirself around another cat and cost me about $4000 of floor repairs. A friend with no other pets took zhe in and xir hasn't pissed anywhere but the box/designated area in years. I wish I still had zim though. Most expensive fucking cat ever. Had to get shim fixed twice for both sets of sex organs.

[Anonymous No.13488203]

>>13486511
This is what you incels deserve for owning felines. Dogs are the only animal to keep.

[Anonymous No.13488212]

>>13486511
Test

[Anonymous No.13488218]

>>13488181
Does he ever swipe raw shrimp and trumpet his brave feat of hunting prowess to all and sundry?
Which naturally means that you can get it away from him before he eats it.

>>13488120
Somehow my little bastard can fill up the box within a day. How does such a little body make that much shit?

[Anonymous No.13488220]

>>13487776
You can buy or build bathroom hutch/cabinet things that allow the cat to shit in their "concealed box' while using the top for decor or other stuff as long as you're confident it's not cat infested. I just have two side by side boxes in my larger (not that large though) bathroom. I also keep a few glade gel scent things open in that bathroom plus febreze or similar spray if needed and a candle on the toilet to cover all bases if a freak shit happens. Despite all that, I just empty the poop from my Breeze system 2x daily, empty the pads as needed, generally clean the bathroom a few times per week, and spray it every now and then if it starts smelling to cat-like. It's really not that hard.

[Anonymous No.13488224]

>>13488201
>mentally retarded hermaphrodite cat
What?
I've seen janus cats but not pussies with both parts.

[Anonymous No.13488234]

>>13488218
I can't say that he's swiped shrimp, but he has eaten several cups of homemade "penne" pasta. Once he downed a full length piece of thick cut bacon, and I didn't find out until he was nearly choking to death. He regurgitated the entire slice from his tiny body. He will not misbehave like that as long as he knows someone is in the vicinity but will go nuts knowing no humans have been/will be around for a solid 5+ minutes.

[Anonymous No.13488236]

>>13488181
>they learn fast
Yet you still don't trust it when you're out of the room for a few minutes.

[Anonymous No.13488240]

>>13488224
He displayed male parts but also had internal female organs.

[Anonymous No.13488259]

>>13488234
>pasta
Really?
>entire strip of raw(?) bacon
The other one has taken a bite out of a muffin once and he eagerly tries to eat anything we are eating. God help us if we have milk or ice cream....
Also the fucker actually licked the inside of a grape to death once. Lucky he didn't get sick from it but we've done our best to keep fruit out of the blubberbutt's reach.
He gives no shits if we are there or not. He sees something that goes in our mouths, he wants it too.

Skinny asshole, the one who trumpets over shrimp, on the other hand can't be bothered with anything. The reason why we know the trumpet means "I caught something" is because we've heard him do the same with a bug and a bat on different occasions.
Skinny fucker doesn't care about anything we eat but has tried to climb into the fridge a couple times. Only other thing he goes after is plastic bags.
Oddly enough he wants nothing to do with catnip.

Both my boys are rescues but we think at least skinny fucker was either feral or abused. It has to do with how he acted when we first got him. He was a mean little motherfucker. Still kind of is but he's mellowed out.

[Anonymous No.13488262]

>>13488236
The reality of any cat I've ever know from growing up with, owning, or knowing from friends is that they are capable of listening and behaving when you are around to enforce the rules but don't give a flying fuck when they know you aren't overlooking them. Cats are predators who don't have the kind of dog-style desire to please their owner/food provider. Cats are often called "smart" but are not capable of dog intellect and are driven by their predatory instincts. For cats, not getting up on the counter is something they do until their owner dies and the cat feasts on the corpse with no remorse. Dogs often stand by their owners no matter what and keep such loyalty that they'll continue to wait for their dead owner to come home.

[Anonymous No.13488284]

>>13488262
Not sure how the other cats we've had would have acted but when Dad died the cat who used to sleep next to him when he was sick kept looking in his bedroom to find him for months.
Every time he didn't see dad, the cat left the room for some other spot.

[Anonymous No.13488289]

>>13488259
It was egg pasta, but I still didn't think it would be enticing to a cat at all. Now everything gets covered or hidden to protect the food I'm making, prevent the kitty shits from human food, and to discourage ever getting on the counters and tables. Your rescue is probably as savage as my adopted (paid for kitten) was. At the hint of a wrapper crinkle, he'd take Usain Bolt style gazelle hops from one end of the place to the kitchen in lightning speed then play the crying like he's never eaten a full meal routine. I stopped indulging him as soon as I brought him home, and he's really good now. But you can't trust cats not to snoop if you leave for a long time or go to bed, so you still need to made sure everything is organized and put away in cabinets they can't pull open and in bags they cannot shred into.

[Anonymous No.13488304]

>>13487840
this is some next level unhygenic cope
>inb4 murican
Im a SEAmonkey, while I dont neccesarily hate cats, I do hate disgusting people like you who own cats

[Anonymous No.13488322]

>>13488289
Fatass comes running the second he hears sounds. Skinny slowly makes his way over eventually.
Same thing with the laser pointer.
I think he's constantly using fatass as a canary to see if it is safe to go out. Not that he's a coward. Fatass is more likely to hide from strangers while skinny jerk will keep his distance but stare and hiss.
As for opening cabinets...
um.
My boys figured out how to get into cabinets and pry open latches. Granted fatass can't figure out how to get back out in spite of getting in while skinny figured that out ages ago and apparently hasn't told the dumbass the trick is to push not bat at the inside of the door and cry.

[Anonymous No.13488323]

>>13488284
Some cats are more "empathetic" and routine oriented than others. Growing up, one of our family cats went into a severe depression for a full month after my brother went off to college. It consisted of him howl-crying throughout the house, crying when my brother wasn't in bed at bed time, oversleeping, and general restlessness while awake. This cat and his sister we had would also get on the window ledge looking out to the driveway about 15 minutes before I would usually arrive home from school. They would get really "sad" if I was excessively late. Cats can have a certain amount of routine behaviors and affection towards their owners but not on a dog level. Cats will still eat the fuck out of your dead body and small live vermin "pets" in and outside your home. Cats are good pets, but they are still predators to the max who will savagely enjoy owner remains (if not obscenely rotten).

[Anonymous No.13488329]

>>13487840
Have you tried wherever you have the washing machine? When we first moved to a small apartment that's where we put the litter box.
Now its in the second bathroom.

[Anonymous No.13488337]

>>13488322
You need to let them stay in until they figure it out. They will figure it out long before they are anywhere close to ill. Animals learn they can get you to bend to their demands.

[Anonymous No.13488362]

>>13488337
Yeah but I have sharper hearing than the rest of my family so him scratching on the door bugs the shit out of me.

[Anonymous No.13488377]

>>13487521

fucking lol

[Anonymous No.13488408]

>>13486825
I agree. Fuck cats.

[Anonymous No.13488625]

>>13488000
Kys you retarded piece of shit. If see you irl i will stomp on youre throat until you die faggit

[Anonymous No.13488630]

>>13488323
Dogs are known to eat their dead owners too, and apparently having a strong relationship with them won't prevent it. It's just one of those things you have to come to terms with being a possibility if you're going to have any kind of instinct driven carnivore around. Or not, since you'll be fucking dead by the time it's relevant.

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/news/2017/06/pets-dogs-cats-eat-dead-owners-forensics-science/

[Anonymous No.13488646]

Have had 5 female cats. The first one got to keep her claws and be an outdoors cat. She was badass and would attack other cats and dogs and kill birds and other animals every single day. Every other girl cat since has ended up being a shitty pet. Got one male cat and he was extremely chill but pretty badass for an indoors cat. He always seemed extremely loyal and always wanted to spend time laying around with humans. Are male cats cooler than female cats overall? All cats were spayed/neutered

[Anonymous No.13488653]

>>13488646
Male cats are usually a lot more affectionate.

[Anonymous No.13488678]

>>13486511
there is one easy trick to keep toxo-sexdungeons off your counter. don't have any.

[Anonymous No.13489647]

Tigger, that is the name given to an orange Main Coon that showed up on the front deck one night. His chubby cheeks and deep purr gave away his gender and despite being a giant ginger tom cat I told him to fuck off.
There are several cats on our property, and one night while letting our cats in for the night Tigger joined thier somewhat orderly line in. "fuck off! your too fat" I said as we made eye contact, he stopped short of the threshold and just made a short purr. As the door shut he stood motionless, unshook.

[Anonymous No.13489690]

>>13486684
You're a retard. I should smack you until you grow some sense.

[Anonymous No.13489704]

>>13486511
First six months of my cats life in my house i covered the countertops and dinning room table with aluminum foil and tape. I also covered all the couches and chairs in bed sheets to keep him from scratching on the furniture. After six months in the house he was 8months old and had only ever had terrible experiences the couple of time he tried to get on the counter and dinning room table. At that point it was pretty much hard wired into his brain that trying to get up there = bad time. It was annoying to have to cover everything for six months but my patience has paid off and i now have a perfectly trained cat that doesn't go on the counters or dinning room table.

[Anonymous No.13489709]

>>13487277
>>13487107
Based and competent owner.

[Anonymous No.13489725]

>>13486511
I recently solved this problem. Take some of sheets off a lint roller a lay them out on the counter. Spread the little rectangles around. The cat will climb on, feel the sticky shit, walk around and get caught on more sticky sheets. They don't like the sticky feeling on their paws so it'll climb off and youll hear it struggle to get it off running around the house. Find the cat, remove the sticky pads off of it after it's done freaking out, and them replenish the sticky sheets on the counter. The cat will climb again, get sticky, freak out etc. Eventually it will totally avoid climbing.

Worked with my 2 cats

[Anonymous No.13489740]

>>13487615
>If you know someone with a dog that covers the house with feces, that is an owner issue, not a pet issue.
>cannot see feces
>therefore feces is not there.
This shouldn't be news to you, but animals spread feces everywhere even if you can't see it, it's there, and you can definitely smell it, but pet owners are used to the smell.

[Anonymous No.13489743]

>>13489740
You might be mentally ill.

[Anonymous No.13489749]

>>13487994
Kms i wish hot sauce wasn't a numale hobby but it definitely is

[Anonymous No.13489755]

>>13489749
Obsessing over niche brand hotsauce is a numale hobby. Just liking hotsauce isn't.

[Anonymous No.13489763]

>>13488646
neutered male cats make the best indoor cats and it's not even close

[Anonymous No.13490456]

>>13489763
the best shit is still shit

[Anonymous No.13490561]

>>13486529
I just use a spray bottle, and it works well. Mine also has a chair she hangs out in, to watch me cook.

[Anonymous No.13490572]

>indoor cat
ishygddt

[Anonymous No.13490580]

>>13488323
lol my cat gets "mad" when you leave on vacation for a long time. She loves my gf and whenver she comes over, she runs to the door "MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW". when she goes on vacation and comes back, my cat gives her the cold shoulder every time.

[Anonymous No.13490583]

>>13486511
The only cat I’ve ever successfully owned (every cat we adopted died of some illness or ran away forever) was a cat that just showed up in my backyard starving to death.
No idea why but she never goes on kitchen counters as far as I can tell, I’ve never seen her on them a single time. She goes everywhere else to, so if she does it, it must be in the middle of the night, but she’s never even tried to get in my way during cooking and rarely tries to take your food unless you’re eating in bed (which is a dirty human habit too).

[Anonymous No.13490592]

Did you know that 20 percent of the American public is infected with Toxoplasma gondii, a parasite that can infect birds and most other animals but that reproduces sexually only in cats. In cats the parasite is ejected in their feces, but in humans the parasite eventually ends up in your brain where it lives in little balls of pus until you die.

[Anonymous No.13490602]

>>13490592
This is gonna be an /x/-post but what if toxoplasmosis is a lie and the government doesn’t want us to keep based /cats/ because they defend us from the paranormal
Bonus points: dogs are robots

[Anonymous No.13490609]

>>13490592
Who cares, it is symptomatic only in a tiny percentage of those people. The world is full of things trying to kill you, won't stop me from cuddling with Mittens.

[Anonymous No.13490633]

>>13488329
Anon, yuropoors keep the washing machine in the kitchen....

[Anonymous No.13490682]

>>13486626
/fit/ BTFO

[Anonymous No.13490703]

i give them a semi violent whack off the counter, now they dont do it in front of me, but im sure they still do it. arrogant shits.

[Anonymous No.13490712]

>>13487279
Of course the lady with the cats is a fat ass, and hot chick had the dogs.

[Anonymous No.13490715]

a bb gun would work

[Anonymous No.13491736]

>>13487235
I will tow you on my truck by your nose ring and lock you up in Hot Topic

[Anonymous No.13491742]

>>13488625
Gee I wonder how is behind this post...
I am unstopabble. You can't do shit to me, kitten I have a spray bottle.

[Anonymous No.13492140]

>>13486511
Get a bunch of aluminum foil and aggressively shake it around it every time it jumps up. Every cat I've owned is terrified of foil for whatever reason.

[Anonymous No.13492548]

>>13486608
That's why you use one of the ones that shoots the little yellow balls. I've gotten my cats trained so that if they're doing something that they're not supposed to all I have to do is pick it up and they go running

[Anonymous No.13492587]

I want a pet, but first I want a gf so I'll have someone to clean up the pet shit for me

[Anonymous No.13492699]

>>13486511
close the door
>>13486825
it's that faggots fault for buying a rice cooker
>>13487524
>>13487659
>>13487758
edgeeeeeee and coul!11!
>>13487895
the shit particles are floating around, that's how people smell things
>>13488000
absolute meme
>>13488033
>eww yucky wucky hair goblins
imagine being a numale dogfag who can't stop thinking about cats
>>13488196
yes, send him outside so he can roll around in ants and mud and let him jump around on your bed
>>13490715
gay

[Anonymous No.13492777]

>>13486684
found the serial killer

[Anonymous No.13492785]

>>13492777
I bet you think disciplining children is literally hitler too.

[Anonymous No.13492791]

>>13492785
nah fuck humans

[Anonymous No.13492800]

I fucking hate cats so much. You have to be absolutely cucked to have such a shitty pet.

>pisses and shits in your house
>randomly pisses on your stuff if its angry, and the smell is horrendous and almost impossible to remove
>their fucking hair gets all over everything
>they puke hairballs all over
>they intentionally break your shit, claw your furniture, etc
>they trample all over their own piss and shit with their paws which they then climb all over your things with

If you have a cat you're 100000% a cuck.

[Anonymous No.13492826]

>>13492800
what are you talking about faggot? those things only happen to retard owners who can't clean litterboxes and can't vacuum every so often

[Anonymous No.13492831]

>>13488147
I think it's general reaction normal people have to hyper consumerism.
Imagine niche hotsauce, obscure beer, or coffee varieties being a core part of your outward presentation. Not because you manufacture and sell it (in which case it would make sense), but because you buy it and eat/drink it.
Imagine asking someone to tell you about themselves, and they open up with how much they like hot food and bitter drinks and that normies have weak pallets that can't appreciate the intensity of their hot/bitter-acclimated tongues.

[Anonymous No.13492832]

>>13488165
Have I got the dog for you

[Anonymous No.13493092]

>>13492699
>close the door
Open kitchen.

[Anonymous No.13493131]

>>13486543
>they're curious

fuck off. I don't want my cats on my counter. I don't care why there up there.

[Anonymous No.13493419]

>>13486511
kill the cats

[Anonymous No.13493451]

>>13486511
By not keeping animals in the house you disgusting nigger

[Anonymous No.13493611]

>>13486511

[Anonymous No.13493672]

>>13493451
ok, Tran, go back to your jungle hut

[Anonymous No.13493697]

>>13486511
just kick the little disgusting fucks off and then proceed to stomp their heads in until they're nothing but mush.

[Anonymous No.13494231]

>>13492831
>Imagine asking someone to tell you about themselves, and they open up with how much they like hot food and bitter drinks and that normies have weak pallets that can't appreciate the intensity of their hot/bitter-acclimated tongues.
except no one does this
you just outed yourself as having no friends and autism

[Anonymous No.13494279]

>>13493131
based retard

[Anonymous No.13494284]

>>13494231
I did that the moment I typed 4chan.org into the URL bar.

[Anonymous No.13494285]

>>13493697
Goodbye kittie.

[Anonymous No.13494286]

>>13487994
>the tranny are coping this hard
OH NO NO NO DON'T FORGET TO DILATE LMAO

[Anonymous No.13494306]

>>13488000
obsessed

[Anonymous No.13494457]

>>13486626
https://youtu.be/ecvpq_b590c

[Anonymous No.13494670]

People who own cats have a house that stinks like literal cat shit. Doesn't matter how often they clean their trays, it still stinks. Awful pets. Dogs aren't much better.

[Anonymous No.13494936]

>>13493672
I don't know where you got the idea that the Vietnamese are the only people who don't keep animals inside the house at, but let me tell you something faggot. Your house stinks, everyone can tell and there is nothing you can do about it. B-b-bu- NO. You've gone noseblind to it.

[Anonymous No.13494943]

>>13486529
Spray bottles have given me the best results

[Anonymous No.13495181]

>>13486511
I just pick mine up and then put her on the floor. Animals are dumb and cats refuse to be trained.

[Anonymous No.13495733]

>>13486511
First off, cats should never be allowed on any kitchen surface except for the floor, period.

That being said, I will share a tip that I learned years ago. If you notice your cat jumping up on the counter, scare them off the first time. Take a mousetrap, set it, and place a couple of layers of newspaper over it. The next time the cat jumps on the counter, the trap snaps under the paper, and scares the shit out of it. Repeat if necessary.

>Pic very related.

[Anonymous No.13495740]

>>13486511
I was married to a crazy cat lady.
>never
>again

[Anonymous No.13495758]

>>13486511
I keep a taxidermied beaver on my kitchen top. The cats hate it and won't go up.

[Anonymous No.13497678]

>>13492832
I've seen these and hairless American/rat terriers, but I don't know about getting a dog with the same skin related limitations and needs as a sphynx. You have to be really careful about taking these dogs outside and groom them far more frequently and carefully since dogs don't self-groom. At that point you may as well just get a sphynx since they act fairly dog like. I'm not totally against it since I like having a dog for watch dog purposes though. Sphynxes are smart as fuck and have some "dog" qualities, but they're still cats and don't give a shit less about who's approaching the door unless there is food involved.

[Anonymous No.13497724]

>>13492699
oh so we have anti cat nigs and now we have the retarded dude that is against rice cookers
what a thread!

[Anonymous No.13498686]

>>13486825
Umami...

[Anonymous No.13500012]

>>13492832
Those are negro dogs. They resemble a hyena too much. Those are not cuddly little terriers or pug nosed friends, not even loyal retrievers or collies allies. I want to hate them to death.

[Anonymous No.13500058]

>>13489704
why did you light your kitchen like a strip club?

[Anonymous No.13500129]

i will never understand catfaggots
cats are the epitome of vile filth, disease and ruin

[Anonymous No.13500150]

>>13486734

[Anonymous No.13500184]

>>13490712
Don’t you mean that hot chicks fuck dogs?

[Anonymous No.13500193]

>ever having indoor pets
even the fish have to live in a pond outside

[Anonymous No.13500194]

>>13500184
White girls fuck dogs

[Anonymous No.13500300]

>>13500058
My kitchen lights are whatever color I tell them to be. That just happened to be he photo with my well behaved cato laying on the floor where he belongs rather than on the counter where savages allow their cats to contaminate their food prep surfaces.

[Anonymous No.13500391]

Just kill it and it won't jump anywhere, ever.

[Anonymous No.13500458]

>>13500300
I see you post your kitchen all the time. Is that real granite/marble countertops? I'm living with my first marble countertop and idk how to keep it so shiny looking.

[Anonymous No.13500473]

>>13500300
James is that you?

[Anonymous No.13500493]

>>13500458
It's granite. I don't do anything special. Usually clean it with Windex after cooking and every couple of weeks i take everything off the counters and clean it with 99% alcohol.

[Anonymous No.13500496]

>>13492777
>>13492791
the absolute state of this lad, lel.

[Anonymous No.13500504]

>>13486774
ATF?
AllTheFallen?

[Anonymous No.13500513]

>>13500458
Marble is porous, stains easily, and makes a terrible food prep surface. You need to be really careful about not actually letting anything come into contact with your countertops.

[Anonymous No.13500518]

>>13500504
That is such a dumb low effort post. Are you actually old enough to post here?
That's the kind of retarded thing I'd post on my first week on the Internet back when 56k was something to brag about.

[Anonymous No.13500525]

>>13500300
are those stainless steel pans or coated? I can't tell

[Anonymous No.13500569]

>>13500525
Ceramic coated stainless. They've lasted three years but the ceramic coating is shit in the larger frying pan and saute pan so I've been replacing them with full stainless steel over the last couple months. I'll probably keep the pots and my small frying pan I use for eggs around for the foreseeable future. Nothing wrong with them.

[Anonymous No.13500875]

How is that an issue for you? it might be annoying but if you just keep picking them up and place them on the ground they'll stop trying to get on the counter when you're around. they'll probably get up there when you're not around so just don't leave any food out and you'll be fine

[Anonymous No.13501743]

>>13500458
Plain dish soap and water should be all you need. Some stone is more forgiving than others, but some will lose their sheen more readily than others from things like lemon juice and harsh chemical cleaners. If you're just struggling to keep them clean and shiny overall then make sure you give the full counter a clean with soap and water and go back with a damp rag and make sure no soap is left over. If you have patchy unshiny spots that never get shiny then soap won't help. However, polished stone can be repolished with a power tool (don't know if by hand would do any good or how long that would take). The best thing is to treat it right in the first place so you don't have to go back and do all that work. I'm not sure what stone my counters are made of, but it's nothing expensive and doesn't seem to have any corrosion over the past 4 years.

[Anonymous No.13501959]

>>13486511
aluminum foil

[Anonymous No.13501985]

>>13486511
you need to take the cat into the kitchen and put it on the counter and then beat the shit out of it while it is on the counter

[Anonymous No.13501997]

>>13487521
I can't imagine that person even knows how to cook

[Anonymous No.13502007]

>>13486626
dickered cookalong and Patti? come on now... it's the only quality community threads this board has on the regular. join in some time.
>>13490583
black cats are the fucking best dude. their personalities rule over all that kitty kat nonsense you typically see. it's like they're in a perpetual state of egotism that's rightfully deserved because of their coats. i've always had a black cat, since i was still pissing the bed. i think this guy might have been the cause for my fascination with them tbqhwyf. these other trolls and cat haters can go jump off a tall bridge for all the world cares.

[Anonymous No.13502034]

>>13489725
Smart and good pet owner

[Anonymous No.13502036]

>>13486597
bullshit. smacking your cat works like a charm. animals understand food and pain. they understand that when they're in a specific spot, they get whooped or sprayed with the spray bottle. if your cat doesn't understand this then you're a shitty cat parent and/or the cat actually hates you. my cats understand that i am generally very affectionate towards them so when I suddenly start yelling and getting the spray bottle they'd better fucking stop, and they do. they're trained now to the point that whenever I see them thinking about getting into something they shouldn't get into, i snap my fingers and they backtrack immediately

[Anonymous No.13502083]

>>13502036
same. I've had to smack a few cats before, maybe even toss them away from me and get VERY aggressive with them, but they always grew up to love me like I was their own. I've had cats claw into my shoulders not to be let down and cats who would sleep with me every night.
I had a cat that was stolen from his owner (who was living with me), and that cat scratched the fuck out of me every week, would hiss and moan, run away from me, piss on my stuff. Within a year he was letting me give him a bath and was cuddled into my lap and arms as I had to leave him behind as I moved, learned the others weren't cleaning his litter box, and I was spending every last dime I had on tuna when I was out of dry food (dry food that I had to pick every orange piece out of because he was allergic to the dye).

Cats on the tabletop aren't a problem if your house is clean and your cat knows to stay clean, especially if they're an outside cat.

[Anonymous No.13502302]

>>13502036
>>13502083
retard and terrible owner.
You both lack judgment and need to mature before taking care of another living being.
Start by taking care of a rock.

[Anonymous No.13502334]

>>13502083
your disgusting feral vermin aren't clean

[Anonymous No.13502706]

>>13488000
>flush toilet
>microscopic shit covers everything in your bathroom even with the lid closed
>you walk out without showering, changing, and scrubbing the bathroom clean, therefore spreading your own microscopic shit all over the house
Congratulations, you're actually just as filthy as the animal you mock.
Just like every single animal with intestines.
>but toxoplasmosis
Cannot be transmitted via what you call "microscopic shit".

[Anonymous No.13502720]

It takes a special kind of autism not to be able to bond with a nice cat or dog.

[Anonymous No.13502918]

>>13500513
Yeah I've noticed that our marble has a bunch of crevices and shit. I only ever prepped biscuits directly on it.
>>13501743
It's still shiny but I wish it was more reflective. I don't think I've been too abusive since I've only had it for two years. Thanks for the tips.

[Anonymous No.13502922]

>>13502918
Wax it.

[Anonymous No.13502923]

>>13486626
His "Really" expression is priceless

[Anonymous No.13502937]

>>13487397
>twice a week
EVERY TIME THEY FUCKING POOP CLEAN YOUR LITTER BOX. JESUS CHRIST.

[Anonymous No.13502977]

>>13486859
I REALLY want to turn that burner on

[Anonymous No.13503002]

>>13487319
Exactly my mom's apartment when I was growing up, and she had 6 cats, so 2 litterboxes in the kitchen. One time she was away for a few days in the middle of summer so I had to go over there to clean it. She had no A/C and it was 110 F. I almost vomited.

[Anonymous No.13503036]

>cat is constipated
>have to take him to the vet to get an enema
>"he may dribble a little, so don't let him on the carpet for a few hours"
>only place that is tile is the kitchen floor
>barricade him in the kitchen so any dribbles can just be wiped up
>leave for 2 hours to go for a walk because day was stressful
>come back to kitchen covered in wall to wall liquid shit

Literally not one square millimeter was spared. It was a diarrhea nuke went off in there.

[Anonymous No.13503070]

>>13502036
>>13502083
you're both cavemen and you're being mean to your cats. Fuck you.

[Anonymous No.13503102]

>>13486706
I had 2 cats that absolutely loved plastic bags and would fight over them. I never had them choke or anything. They would chew on them for some reason or just play with them in general, they seemed to mostly enjoy the sound cause if I rustled them they would fucking bolt into the kitchen.

The only thing that ever killed my cats were the stupid lizards in Florida.

[Anonymous No.13503119]

>>13503036
next time put them in a wire cage in the bathtub perhaps?

[Anonymous No.13503148]

My cat has no interest in human food. It was also trained where not to go by removing it from the place and giving a firm "No." Repeat until cat ceases unwanted behavior.

[Anonymous No.13503219]

>>13503102
>The only thing that ever killed my cats were the stupid lizards in Florida.
>underequipping your cats
Why do people do this shit? It's sad to companion cats dead from low-level purse dogs.

[Anonymous No.13503223]

>>13503119
That's gross, I take my showers there.

[Anonymous No.13504248]

>>13487994
How the fuck is Jollibee soyboy? I've never met any reddittors who enjoyed their food.

[Anonymous No.13504268]

>>13503219
I'm sorry but what the fuck are you talking about?
Blue lizards are over populated in Florida and would get in the house where I lived sometimes. Cat eats lizard and dies because lizard was poisonous.

I'm still sad that my cats died this way because cats don't know any better when it comes to eating small critters.

[Anonymous No.13504308]

>>13486511
>>13486529
Lemon spray bottle. It's that simple.

[Anonymous No.13505504]

>>13504308
People seem to forget that felines hate citrus. When my cat was a kitten he was a cable chewer. I soaked some paper towel in orange juice and wiped down all my cords with it. He’s never touched them again and it’s been three years.

[Anonymous No.13505971]

>>13504248
a soy would have the gay ass doll though

[Anonymous No.13506019]

>>13487279

[Anonymous No.13506095]

>>13487580
They’re little sand treasures