/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.13433657]

A girl you like is coming over for dinner and you want to impress her with your culinary skills. What dish(es) do you make and why? Any accompanying drinks/ambience?

[Anonymous No.13433663]

faggot. just get a pizza and fuck

[Anonymous No.13433687]

Spaghetti Bolognese
Garlic Bread
Prosecco /Aperol Spritz
Candles

[Anonymous No.13433688]

Steak. Every human to ever have existed loves meat cooked with fire.

[Anonymous No.13433766]

>>13433688
>>13433687
>>13433663
She's vegan.

[Anonymous No.13433774]

>>13433766
That's a deal breaker

[Anonymous No.13433777]

>>13433657
Never seen this thread before. Neck yourself, faggot

[Anonymous No.13433788]

I recently got a spaghetti machine
I'll probably use it once and then never again except maybe if for some reason a girl comes over

why would you go through the effort to make spaghetti yourself? it costs nothing

[Anonymous No.13433801]

>>13433766
I'll have a steak and she can have a salad

[Anonymous No.13433825]

it's flu season so some healthy aioli and cheesy crackers as an appetizer, followed by some aglio e oglio as the main course. caramelized onions spread on garlic bread for dessert

[Anonymous No.13433829]

>>13433766
No one is a vegan. Human brain development advanced with the consumption of cooked meat proteins. Humans are omnivores, call yourself whatever you want, but it doesn't change what you are.

[Anonymous No.13433851]

>>13433766
get those hot italian beyond sausages, cook them up with some rice and kale salad thing, go to town on her meat wallet

[Anonymous No.13433882]

Fire some charcoal slap a couple big fat juicy thick prime ribeye steaks on the grill. 3 minutes both sides: perfection. Couple potatoes in foil on the grill for sides

[Anonymous No.13433889]

>>13433766
She ain't coming over for food then. We don't serve that kind of trash around here.

[Anonymous No.13433905]

>>13433657
>a girl you like
2d girls don't eat though.

[Anonymous No.13433913]

Jap Golden curry with garden vegetables, chicken Katsu, and steamed Thai Jasmine

[Anonymous No.13433980]

>>13433657
Nuggets, and white wine.

[Anonymous No.13433988]

>>13433657
>asian
>>13433766
>vegan
Two plates of turn out all the lights, lock the front door and pretend I'm not home until she fucks off.

[Anonymous No.13433991]

>>13433980
with a side of catsup (banana, because I'm larping as pilipino today).

[Anonymous No.13433996]

>>13433657
Well, I just ate a hardboiled egg that filled me with a strange emotion. I've never been so satisfied in a very long time. I cannot describe it, I feel like I'm still eating the egg, it was so fantastic.

so probably that

[Anonymous No.13434006]

>>13433766
Take her to Burger King and get the impossible whopper.

[Anonymous No.13434054]

>>13433657
>What dish(es) do you make and why?
Roofie colada, because buttsex without a no.

[Anonymous No.13434075]

Something you guys can make together, by make together means you do all the work and make her hand you shit while she has wine or champange. Some nice soothing music to accompany, scented candle either on the table or somewhere she can smell it. Make it presentable aswell so she can get a photo for her girls to gossip about and if its good her friends will wingman you without you asking.

[Anonymous No.13434104]

>>13434075
This nigga know what up

[Anonymous No.13434176]

>>13433687
>Garlic Bread breath for making out with a gril

RETARD
DO BRUSCHETTA

[Anonymous No.13434185]

>>13433687
>Garlic Bread breath on a first kiss

RETARD
MAKE BRUSCHETTA

[Anonymous No.13434274]

>>13434006

[Anonymous No.13435229]

>>13433788
I just had fresh pasta the other day and let me tell you does it make a world of difference.

[Anonymous No.13435236]

>>13433657
A traditional English stew, because everyone's interested in the idea of English cuisine actually tasting good and everyone's surprised when it actually does taste good. Also, it's easy as fuck to make.
On the off-chance she's actually English too, then I'll make coca-cola chicken wings + stir-fry to show off my exotic habits picked up in far-off Chinkland.

In reality though I just reheat pasta sauce and make pasta because I'm literally too lazy to care about sex that much.

[Anonymous No.13435240]

>>13433766
Then she's cooking. You don't know many vegans, do you? Here's how the conversation goes:
>I'm vegan, actually
>Oh really? Is it hard to cook vegan?
>No, not at all! Come over, I'll cook something for you, it's delicious!
And there ya go.

[Anonymous No.13435244]

>girl I like
How can be there any woman I might like if I don't know any?

[Anonymous No.13435262]

>>13433657
I care little about impressing her. I load her dish up with excessive amounts of fiber and foods that increase gas production. Before she arrives, I sabatoge my own toilet, preventing it from flushing. I wait for her to finish her meal and we retreat to the living room to watch a movie. About halfway through her stomach rumbles and she is forced to rush to the bathroom where she fills the toilet with squirts and braps. Unable to flush, she panics and quickly leaves my home without any warning. I smirk, knowing the treasure trove that awaits.

[Anonymous No.13435269]

>>13433829
>Human brain development advanced with the consumption of cooked meat proteins.
and starchy foods. kind of curious which one actually had a bigger impact on our brain since the brain prefers glucose for fuel.

[Anonymous No.13435359]

if she's a normie it's oysters, scallops, and some sort of fresh pasta with lobster. Impressive for laypeople but old hat easy stuff for myself to pull off. Ask the wino at the wino store for an under the radar prosecco or vino verde. Maybe fresh bread and a compound butter, bitches love compound butter.
Midwestern types get steak and potatoes with a seasonal veg and probably fucking sangria fuck.
If she's a waitress or bartender we're going out no question about it. Probably Italian and definitely not high end or expensive. I have a couple spots downtown that just do good honest food. And then probably a dive bar after. If your industry the last thing you want is to fucking cook outside of work, but of course it's what everyone else expects out of you.

[Anonymous No.13435485]

>>13433882
You're cooking for a girl not your dad on fathers day.

[Anonymous No.13435491]

>>13435240
>eating her soy based meat monstrosity so your test levels are tanked to that of the scrawniest weakest gayest soyboy in existence
Very unbased and bluepilled. Have fun watching her fuck chad while you beat off in the corner.

[Anonymous No.13435522]

>>13433766
Realistically probably whole glazed rainbow carrots, herbed roasted potatoes, some kind of salad with tart fruit/citrus, and a simple vegetable broth. Plus sparking wine.

[Anonymous No.13435535]

>>13433766
yoo can get pizza without cheese and add grilled vegetables.

But chances are that she is mentally ill and have problem with gluten too.

Just don't eat their pussy, if she's rightly vegan (hard) there's no shit in their bottom, so you can do anal clean.
They generally love cum, don't know why but she will be grateful if you finish in her mouth

[Anonymous No.13435936]

>>13433657
>>13433766

Go to an asian market, grab the curry blocks (vermont curry, java... etc)

Get some carrot, onion, potatoes, and rice and just follow the instructions (minus the meat, may sub in tofu or something)

2ez

[Anonymous No.13435965]

>>13433657
dick in a box

boxed wine

dick also in a wine box

[Anonymous No.13436284]

>>13433687
What's a good replacement for garlic bread that a poorfag can purchase?

[Anonymous No.13436316]

Another cringe thread on /ck/
>*snap*

[Anonymous No.13436320]

>>13435262

[Anonymous No.13436360]

>>13435262

Jesus Christ dude

[Anonymous No.13436400]

>>13433829
I wonder why it didn't work on your brain.

[Anonymous No.13436410]

>>13433766
Vegans are not allowed in my house.

[Anonymous No.13436476]

>>13436284
Garlic, butter, flour, yeast
It's like $0.20/loaf

Does being poor make people buy premade food, or does premade food make people poor?

[Anonymous No.13436477]

>>13433657
test

[Anonymous No.13436489]

>>13436477
Results inconclusive. Please try again in 24 hours.

[Anonymous No.13436527]

>>13433766
Vegans have the stinkiest butts. I'm moving to a different state, faking my death and then relocating to the Canary Islands.

[Anonymous No.13436656]

>>13435262
sublime

[Anonymous No.13436754]

>>13435229
If I wasted 6 hours of my life making shitty pasta every time I wanted some, it'd be a big difference for me, too

[Anonymous No.13436776]

>>13433657
Moroccan pasta

[Anonymous No.13436782]

>>13433766
Dodged a bullet then

[Anonymous No.13436784]

I'd put on my golf cleats and boil some lobster.

[Anonymous No.13436787]

>>13436754
I've been making fresh pasta every day, sometimes twice a day. The only thing that's even remotely difficult or time consuming is deciding what kind to make and what to put on it. If it takes you six hours to do what I can do in ten minutes, you're probably retarded and need to be committed so other, more capable people can take care of you.

[Anonymous No.13436842]

>>13433766
> She's vegan.

[Anonymous No.13437075]

>>13433657
Cooking isn't the problem. Getting rid of all the neer bottles is the main task.
I could put them in the guest room but that would be even weirder when I show her around the flat.

[Anonymous No.13437409]

>>13437075
The non-alcoholic beer? Just tear off and burn the labels, and no one will be the wiser.

[Anonymous No.13438128]

>>13433657
I lazily throw together some box instant pasta dish with a bunch of shitty colorful veggies in it for her, then make myself steak & eggs. We then eat as far across the room from each other as possible while the TV plays a movie that she picked out that I am clearly not interested in, while I listen to podcasts on my headphones.

[Anonymous No.13438281]

>>13433657
Authentic Carbonara.
>>13433766
No she's not.

[Anonymous No.13438288]

>>13435965
Based.

[Anonymous No.13438295]

>>13438128

Sounds like a married couple. Now what would you fix to impress some fresh new strange puss you’re trying to get inside and would consider leaving your wife n kids for?

[Anonymous No.13438515]

>>13438295
>>13438128
Fuck, man, sometimes I just wanna be able to do my own thing without feeling guilty about abandoning my other half. It's nothing personal, it doesn't mean they bore me, it just means I need some alone time to shitpost on 4chan and listen to music and drink some tea.
Same for when I try and sleep without snuggling. I really value my bed space, man. I like stretching out. Spooning's great, but I also like to sleep on my own half.
This rant was brought to you by Oxo, the best stock manufacturer.

[Anonymous No.13438577]

>>13438515

Well sounds like the answer is clear anon, you have to poison her or hire a hit-man I suppose

[Anonymous No.13438660]

The thing that impressed a girl most is when she saw my bowl of leftover chicken in the fridge, and said it smelled good. I heated some up and she was extremely impressed with the flavor. I just make fajita type chicken strips en masse if I haven't used up my chicken before it expires and end up with a huge bowl of it I snack on. She was a mexican girl and was surprised by my white boi abilities to flavor a chicken. None of the times I made shrimp etouffee or anything has ever impressed anybody despite them coming out well and tasting good. But that bowl of chicken guaranteed got me a hug.

[Anonymous No.13438750]

>>13438660
mexicans are white
theyre whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiite

[Anonymous No.13438766]

>>13436784
chef boy r dumb

[Anonymous No.13438771]

>>13438128
This describes what I've been trying to avoid doing for the past 2 weeks, except I'm making her microwave the shit

[Anonymous No.13438801]

>>13438750
Nah Mexicans are their own abomination but they ain't white. Their nipples ain't white people nipples either.

[Anonymous No.13438809]

>>13433825
>aglio e oglio
Reddit tier meme dish

[Anonymous No.13438859]

>>13438809
this is your brain on /ck/

[Anonymous No.13438887]

>>13435535
in all seriousness, is cum vegan? Can a vegan eat cum and be okay with it?

[Anonymous No.13438898]

>>13438887
The main contention of veganism is that consent must be acquired before you harvest something. That is to say, even using chickens for eggs and cows for milk is subjecting them to an unacceptable slavery; even pets aren't acceptable to many vegans. The whole "industrial milking is harmful to cows" thing is just a supplementary reason to dislike it.
Thus, harvesting protein from the one source which can actually give consent, humans, is totally A-OK.

[Anonymous No.13438908]

>>13438898
thanks

[Anonymous No.13438936]

>>13438898
Cows can get sick and die if they aren't milked, for that matter, they're so heavily selectively bred that it's unlikely they'd be capable of surviving without human care, since they wouldn't exist in the first place without us. Is the vegan goal to just have all cows die from lack of human intervention?

What if an animal dies of natural causes? Surely if a life isn't being taken, the act of not letting the meat go the waste isn't something that would require consent?

How does a plant give consent? I could maybe see something like an apple being okay since the seeds could still be propagated despite the fruit being eaten, but with something like grain, where you're grinding the kernels of the seed to dust before the plant can produce more, you're effectively killing not only the plant, but all of its offspring as well, destroying an entire lineage with one sandwich.

[Anonymous No.13438946]

>>13438936
Vegans aren't literal retards, anon.
>inb4 >implying
So of course they're okay with eating plants even if they can't give consent. They have literally no capacity to think. It's by that same logic that there's a large faction of vegans who're okay with eating shellfish and insect products (honey) and, presumably, insects themselves.
There are actually some true big brains who limit themselves to stuff that the plant desires to be eaten but they're weird whacko retards who make good ol' Kaczynsky look like the well-adjusted genius he could have been.
>Is the vegan goal to just have all cows die from lack of human intervention?
Yes. In their ideal, hypothetical world, all livestock which couldn't be returned to the wild without destroying the ecosystem would simply be cared for until they died, with no more being bred.

[Anonymous No.13438948]

>>13438936
They don't even lactate if they don't calve. If they calve the calf can milk the cow to stop it getting sick and dying, or else you can take the calf away and kill it in order to take the milk for human consumption. But it has to stop lactating after a while to rejuvenate the udders, after which it will have to be forced to give birth to another doomed child if you want more milk. I eat many dairy products, but stop with this bullshit cope.

[Anonymous No.13438954]

>>13438946
>They have literally no capacity to think
I disagree. I believe that they can think, but choose to be vegan anyway.

[Anonymous No.13440641]

>>13436527
> Vegans have the stinkiest butts
Actually the opposite

[Anonymous No.13440755]

>>13440641
Not him, but nah. They have the stinkiest assholes. Their pussies taste better, though.

[Anonymous No.13440763]

>>13440755
Vaginal flora better, anal composite worse. Got it .

[Anonymous No.13440801]

>>13438295
Check out the dickered cat fag thread. He made a salad and nice pasta dish that would cause most womyn to get weak in the knees.

[Anonymous No.13440898]

1.) Ask her if she's got any food allergies or eating restrictions. Glucose issues, vegan, whatever.

2.) Go out to your grocery store and buy two massive handfuls of the largest shrimp you can find. Big shrimp = best shrimp

3.) Linguine noodles. Don't worry about brand so much. This could generate /ck/ rage, but most boxed pastas all fucking taste the same. Pick your favorite or the best priced and move on.

4.) You need the following to make Shrimp Scampi Linguine sauce:

*olive oil
*6 tablespoons unsalted butter
*6 garlic cloves, minced. (jarred is fine)
*1/4 teaspoon dried crushed red pepper
*parsley for color/mild flavor
*2 teaspoons lemon zest
*1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
*3/4 teaspoon salt (to taste)

5.) At home, break out one large pot and get some salted water boiling. Your pastas going in there once it starts a roiling boil. Pull a pasta strand out and test it after about 6-8 minutes. Al dente is best, imho.

6.) While the water boils, toss some olive oil into a large skillet with a lid. You're gonna get the shrimp started and pan fry on each side until opaque. You'll add them back in towards the end once the sauce is ready, so we're just trying to get a good sear on them.

7.) Remove the shrimp from the pan and keep warm. Sauce time. Melt butter over medium heat in same skillet. Add 1 tablespoon oil, garlic, and red pepper; saute 3 minutes or until garlic starts to brown. Stir in cooked shrimp, parsley, lemon zest and juice, and salt; cook 1 minute. Add pasta noodles back into the pot, and cook 1 minute or until hot, tossing constantly. Get dat sauce everywhere! Noodles aren't the only thing she's gonna be sucking tonight.

[Anonymous No.13440933]

>>13440898
(continued)

8.) If you have the time/money, make a very small side salad to balance out the carbs. Don't gotta be anything fancy, spinach leaves with sliced almonds, strawberries and some vinegar. That's like, $5 and takes less than two minutes to make. Girls like that kinda shit, you know?

9.) If you have even more money and time, pop open a bottle of something white. Rose' will also work well with shrimp. This is a light meal and shouldn't be drowned in heavy reds or dark beers. You want her full, but not bloated.

10.) Have background noise. Be natural, put on a show that you like or a youtube background music station. I like chillhop: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAzN2FukjnY
If you're lucky, maybe she's a cute nerd and something familiar and nerdy is better: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jWRrafhO7M

11.) Candles and lighting are important. Don't make it creepy and dark. Use lots of good lighting and don't be afraid to light a candle in the bathroom or in the living room. Be smart about this, of course. Don't burn your shit down trying to impress. Be aware of cats and animals too.

12.) CHANGE YOUR SHEETS. JUST DO IT.

13.) CHANGE YOUR TOWELS. JUST DO IT. Also, make sure she's got a clean bathroom to do her business and wash her hands. Your bathroom says everything it needs to about who you are as a person and she IS going to be looking at stuff, so clean it up.

14.) Ask her what her favorite meals are and offer to make some for next time. Better yet - why doesn't she go grocery shopping with you before hand? Perhaps a cup of coffee before hand? Great excuse to secure the next date. Maybe she can bring a movie or video game she likes? Throw the ball and see if she swings the bat!

[Anonymous No.13440945]

>>13440898
UPDATE: If vegan, grab a large portobello mushroom cap for her, slice it and saute it exactly as you would the shrimp. (You can still make shrimp for yourself if you want - just cook her mushroom in vegan butter/cream instead of using butter.)

[Anonymous No.13440951]

>>13433766
Then I wouldn't like them, faggot.

[Anonymous No.13440960]

>>13433657
tendies and roofie coladas

[Anonymous No.13440973]

Anyone have the "melted condom in a muffin" screencap?

[Anonymous No.13440979]

>>13433657
Might as well make a nice chef salad because every girl pretends like she doesn’t eat on the first date.

[Anonymous No.13440999]

>>13440933
>Also, make sure she's got a clean bathroom to do her business and wash her hands. Your bathroom says everything it needs to about who you are as a person and she IS going to be looking at stuff, so clean it up.
It's good to keep a clean bathroom in general, so this doesn't bother me at all except for one thing: every female bathroom I have ever seen looks like a tornado of bodily fluids hit it, yet I'm sure they'll still judge you for it.
Either way, the real advice is be Chad and take her to McDick's before you fuck her brains out on a bare mattress.

[Anonymous No.13441004]

>>13440999
>every female bathroom I have ever seen looks like a tornado of bodily fluids hit it
Check, also true. "Clean your mirror" is not a meme.

[Anonymous No.13441035]

>>13440755
>>13440763
not true.
If the vegan is healty (this means not eating only fried chips and vegan junk food), it means they eat a lot of fibers that make them shit often and hence their shit stinks less than an omnivore diet.
Plus they have less to none shit left in their ass, which contribute to make their ass smell better.

Veginal flora in my experience is a disaster in my experience, lot of yeast infection and other shit

[Anonymous No.13441042]

>>13433657
Osso bucco. It's cheap and easy to make but seems super fancy.

[Anonymous No.13441062]

>>13433766
I would never date a vegan so your hypothetical is moot.

[Anonymous No.13441315]

>>13441062
So you only date men? Sounds a bit gay.

[Anonymous No.13442486]

>>13433657
Cooking for a woman is broke boy shit and/or cuck boy trying way too hard shit. Cooking is a feminine trait, it's something SHE should do in order to display her potential as a wife/mom.

A woman is 100000000x more impressed if you live in a nice pad ($$$) and have a good career ($$$/high IQ).

The move is to have plans to go to a restaurant. Pre-drink. Another cocktail at bar before you're seated. Order light and/or order then ask for it to go. Drink while you wait for food. Get back to your place while you're both loaded and fuck her brains out. Let her take the carry-out with her on the uber you ordered for her. Never cuddle with a woman, especially pseudo random women you're plowing for cheap thrills.

[Anonymous No.13442890]

>>13442486
>Cooking is a feminine trait
So you can't take care of your basic needs without help? And you consider yourself a man? I'm guessing the reason you need a woman to be drunk before you get her back to your place is because you don't clean either.

[Anonymous No.13442936]

>>13442486
>broke boy shit
I hope you don't get hurt by outing yourself, kid.

[Anonymous No.13444412]

>>13442486
No one's impressed by your feeble attempt at pretending to be a PUA, kid.
A man who needs to rely on others for their food is just a child.

[Anonymous No.13444959]

>>13433657
>a girl you like
the fuck's that supposed to be?

[Anonymous No.13445124]

I'd make her a dish of pelmeni with pickled carrots, sauerkraut, sour cream, traditional ketchup, chopped onions, pickled beets, and dill. I would also probably make bitki as a side dish, and/or traditional peasant sausage (can't decide where to fry, boil, or serve cold). And then when we're eating, I'll scroll through my phone, and show her all the cumtributes I made to her Instagram and posted on 4chan.

[Anonymous No.13445220]

Anything with marsala. Easy, always good, and just under mainstream enough that she probably hasnt had it in a while if at all

[Anonymous No.13445276]

>>13441035
cope

[Anonymous No.13445302]

>Cooking for a female
I'd make her do the cooking to prove she is a suitable mate.

[Anonymous No.13445333]

Boudin Blanc with pomme puree, chives, pork jus, some kronenberg 1664 or a Stella artois. Carmelized apple tournes for dessert.Candles and good conversation.

[Anonymous No.13445358]

>>13435262
Germans....

[Anonymous No.13445476]

>>13433657
spaghetti puttanesca
girls love sucking on noodles

[Anonymous No.13445492]

>>13436400
Look at any indigenous tribe of people. None of them are vegan because you can't survive on plants alone in a natural setting. Even if you are able to fly food from around the world to you most vegans quit after a couple of years because they get so sick.

[Anonymous No.13445493]

Man up and make that bitch cook for you...instead of trying to impress her with your sub par skills, just be like check it out baby i have this fancy stove and all these good skillets.....let her be overjoyed by how much you provide and let her make herself at home.

[Anonymous No.13445502]

>>13433766
Then I invite her to do her own cooking. Fuck if I'm going to cook two different courses.

[Anonymous No.13445535]

>>13445493
>with your sub par skills
I'm a better cook than any of my ex have been. I also like cooking as a hobby. My last girlfriend hated cooking but didn't mind cleaning/laundry so we had a nice system going.

[Anonymous No.13445550]

wash the sand out of your vagina

[Anonymous No.13445554]

>>13433766

Some kind of vegan stir fry

[Anonymous No.13445574]

>>13445493
spoken like a true incel

[Anonymous No.13445581]

>>13433766
dropped

[Anonymous No.13445601]

>>13433829
Vegan is the term for someone who chooses to eat a vegan diet, herbivore is the term for a creature evolved for it.

So clearly an omnivore vegan is not a contradiction in terms. Shouldn't have eaten the deer carnie, chronic wasting disease is a terrible way to go.

[Anonymous No.13445658]

>>13442890
>So you can't take care of your basic needs without help?
Not can't, shouldn't. They want a man who can provide, you want a woman who is diligent in domestic tasks.

[Anonymous No.13445691]

>>13445658
Well, I genuinely hope that works out for you then. Feminism has largely made women feel that they're above doing things that are traditionally the wife's responsibility, so what you're looking for is a rare breed.

[Anonymous No.13445708]

My gf is Asian. She’s raised my confidence enough so now I think I’m ready to get a normal girlfriend

[Anonymous No.13445787]

>>13445708
Post pics, maybe I'll take her off your hands, and you can both upgrade.

[Anonymous No.13446313]

>>13435240
This

[Anonymous No.13446728]

>>13438887
>>13438898
The same fucking "logic" makes cannibalism vegan if your meal consented.

[Anonymous No.13446755]

>>13433657
>A girl you like is coming over for dinner
lol ok

[Anonymous No.13447989]

>>13446728
I'd be down with that.

[Anonymous No.13448028]

>>13433657
I've found it doesn't really matter, as long as I do cook for her at some point. Every relationship I've had where it blew up in my face (and presumably wound up with a kid much darker than my ginger ass), I didn't cook for her. They'll always come back and tell me that their friends are jealous about [a lot of things apparently], but when it's just eating out when we see each other, they'll always lose interest.

Steak, some sort of fancy potato, and an unusual salad's a solid go-to. Lasagne as from-scratch as possible (a wordless"I spent time making you something, and I would put it up against your mother's any day of the week" speaks volumes without saying anything)... For my first date with my current gf, I did up some lamb with a messed up potato-spanikopita cup thing, and saganaki. Honey-pistachio frogurt for dessert, done up in a little shaker ball thing. It's been 18 months and she's talking marriage and kids.

[Anonymous No.13448200]

>>13448028
>some sort of fancy potato

[Anonymous No.13448217]

>>13433657
i have a broken dominant hand so my skills will be limited to telling her to cook instead

[Anonymous No.13448258]

>>13433657
For those who want to guarantee they won't get laid: whole trout, head still on, and used as a finger puppet so you can move the jaw and pretend its talking. Girls have no sense of humor.

[Anonymous No.13448315]

>>13433766
I'd break up with her the moment I found out.

[Anonymous No.13448362]

>>13448315
Why?

[Anonymous No.13448447]

>>13448362
Don't want my sons to end up being trannies or fags

[Anonymous No.13448618]

>>13446728
What's your point?

[Anonymous No.13448760]

>>13442486
>Cooking is a feminine trait
While most of the top chefs are male and the kitchens in most restaurants are male. Really makes you think anon

[Anonymous No.13448762]

>>13442486
lmao
have mommy cooked some nice meals for you lately bitchboy?

[Anonymous No.13448764]

>>13434185

If you both have it it cancels out

[Anonymous No.13448765]

>>13448760
Yeah, one could almost believe male privilege is a real advantage.

[Anonymous No.13449119]

>>13445493
Ok kid, you're right. Happy?

Now let the adults talk.

[Anonymous No.13449126]

>>13448765
This is likely to be bait, but one could also almost believe that men have more ambition than women.

[Anonymous No.13449139]

>>13433687
>Carbs with extra carbs on the side

I dont even need to guess where you are from my friend.

[Anonymous No.13449479]

>>13433766

[Anonymous No.13449495]

>>13449139
>not mentioning the prosecco being paired with beef and tomatosauce

[Anonymous No.13449497]

>>13435262
A truly learned patrician

[Anonymous No.13449506]

>>13435262
based