Food horror stories, post'em

[Anonymous No.13410984]

>be me
>be poor kid
>mom makes walmart brand mac and cheese
>too poor to have milk
>too poor to have butter(margarine)
>mom makes it with just water
>mom only uses half the packet of cheese flavor dust
>saves the other half for other "recipes"

[Anonymous No.13411109]

That's not even that bad.

[Anonymous No.13411128]

>>13411109
there are worse but i was waiting for the thread to kick off (if it does)

[Anonymous No.13411137]

>>13410984
i miss bachelor frog. i miss the old days

oh ive wasted my life here

[Anonymous No.13411143]

>>13411137
>wasted my life here
offense taken

[Anonymous No.13411145]

>>13411137
that makes us two, buddy

[Anonymous No.13411161]

>>13411137
Just image what will happen when 4chan finally dies.

[Anonymous No.13411211]

>>13411137
animal me-me image macros were never a 4chan thing you stupid reddit faggot.

[Anonymous No.13411221]

>>13411161
FBI will have to waste resources finding a new honeypot.

[Anonymous No.13411248]

I got one, hopefully this can get the ball rolling.

>Be me
>11 year old autistic in foster care
>Gags when I eat pineapple, hate it so much.
>Fostercare Mom makes something with some pineapple on the side.
>Tells her I can't eat this.
>Proceeds to yell at me and force me to eat it.
>Spend 20 minutes crying and gagging as I keep spitting it up, and is forced to eat it.
>Forced to go to my room, and cry.

Fostercare is ah bitch, glad I got out of that.

[Anonymous No.13411253]

>>13411248
God, what a little twerp. I would have shouted at you too.

[Anonymous No.13411257]

>>13411211
Newfag detected.

[Anonymous No.13411259]

>>13411211
You've been here less than 10 years

[Anonymous No.13411260]

>>13411253
Good to see 4chan usual personality. Always reminds you why most anons should never have children.

[Anonymous No.13411272]

>>13410984
>went to england
>ate the food

[Anonymous No.13411273]

>>13410984
>mother and I make pepper jelly
>she tells me to put the food coloring in
>I, wanting to be creative make the pepper jelly purple
>get yelled at for making it purple
Its not like it affects the flavor or anything.

[Anonymous No.13411281]

>>13411248
at least with foster care you have the chance of moving to a new home... when the system fails you they just says oh well the abuse wasn't bad enough to justify removing the kids but we're required to send a social worker out to harass you twice a week, a case manger once a week and a anger management specialist once a week... all on different days. For some reason they focused on me even though i'm not the one that couldn't take it and had to go snitch. So now Abuse+4 days a week harassment from the state ffs.

Anyways
>no breakfast
>no lunch
>rice for dinner
>7 days a week
>can't even be bothered to cook it right
>somehow under cooked and burnt at the same time
> crunchy mush

[Anonymous No.13411344]

>>13411248
But pineapple is good and where i come from is a treat

[Anonymous No.13411347]

>>13411137
Delete this post

[Anonymous No.13411367]

>>13411137

[Anonymous No.13411378]

>>13411161
That'll probably be a welcome relief. With the current state of things I can already go months without visiting this place.

[Anonymous No.13411379]

>Dad always puts too much oil in the pan
>Everything high heat no matter what
>Always overcooks chicken to shit
>Doesn't season shit; thinks adding a jar of whatever BS sauce is good enough
>Even then he always bought the cheapest ingredients/brands then even my mom fucking hated him for it
>Mom literally had fucking arguments with the guy for being a lazy fucking cheapskate when it came to having to cook once a week

My mom is an exceptional home cook I don't understand why he was do fucking stubborn about not listening. Love my dad great guy but his cooking to this day pisses me the fuck off when i think about it. Stupid fuck

[Anonymous No.13411393]

>>13411260
I have two. Guess what? They're not stupid little brats because I taught them early in life not to be.

[Anonymous No.13411403]

>>13411211
newfag detected

[Anonymous No.13411416]

>>13411379
My wife is really awesome cook too, and I love her food, but to be honest sometimes I just wanna eat some cheap crappy store bought garbage. Keeps me grounded.

[Anonymous No.13411422]

>be on mission trip to south Africa
>one night we all decide to eat fireside "cuisine"
>up until this point all water out of closed containers, food from reputable places
>mid afternoon, hungry as an African
>watching local guys throwing random things into giant cast iron
>veggies, meats, spices etc
>watch him throw enormous chunk of meat into soup, raw as anal with my sister
>express my concern
>waved away and laughed off by crowd of locals, liberals I am with shrug it off, they eat it all the time after all
>accept i'll be sick for a week but at least it might taste good
>get wood bowl of darkie looking stew
>actually tastes ok
>large chunk of that raw meat in the bowl, actually looks cooked now
>tasted like rubbery chicken
>clearly wasn't chicken
>ask locals what it was
>"scavenged meat"

[Anonymous No.13411425]

>>13411211
The newfags ITT are the ones taking this obvious bait.

[Anonymous No.13411438]

>90s in russia
>the fall of soviet union
>people have to survive by months without getting a pay check
>miners send their children to schools only give them tea for breakfast
>their children collapse from hunger in schools

[Anonymous No.13411467]

>>13411438
lucky little fucks had tea! fuck you

[Anonymous No.13411518]

>>13411281
>but if the parents go to jail the kids suffer!
That shit sucks

[Anonymous No.13411537]

>>13411273
Kek owned

[Anonymous No.13411554]

>>13411518
i know more then a few kids that would strongly disagree. Got to roll the dice , beatings or buttfuckings

[Anonymous No.13411558]

>mom attempts to make bread
>forgets to put yeast in it
>makes us eat it anyways
>doesn't exactly get eaten quickly
>starts to grow mold
>she says its fine "just scrape it off"

[Anonymous No.13411570]

>>13411558
Her not using yeast is slap worthy, you being bothered by fungi is also slap worthy. Mold is only a problem on certain foods, bread is not one of them. If there aren't maggots in it you're fine.

[Anonymous No.13411572]

>>13411570
bread mold makes it taste like dirt

[Anonymous No.13411582]

>>13410984
Complains about your mother doing the best she can despite being poor.

[Anonymous No.13411616]

>>13411572
The complaint was about mold, not taste. I can understand not wanting to eat dirt, but depending on the fungi it may have tasted pretty swell.

[Anonymous No.13411675]

>>13411582
>doing the best she can despite being poor.
she made me a grilled cheese sandwich and didn't take the plastic wrapper off the cheese

[Anonymous No.13411686]

>>13411248
You remind me of that tlc show where the 500lb hamplanet cries when she sees a brussels sprout.

[Anonymous No.13411690]

>>13411686
>cries when she sees a brussels sprout.
well brussels sprout do smell like shit

[Anonymous No.13411703]

>>13411161
Perhaps it'll go the way of usenet and totse, &t.

[Anonymous No.13411706]

>>13411690
bu... bu... asparagus

[Anonymous No.13411712]

>>13411675
That's what you get when you go out with crack whoars

[Anonymous No.13411738]

I never understood adults forcing kids to eat things they don't want to the point of crying and arguing. Like damn I'm pretty sure most people even as adults have a short list of foods they don't like, and some tastes are just foreign and strange when you are young and taste develops over time. I never liked mushrooms or beets until I was in my mid 20s but I would try them when available every few years because my parents explained that to me

[Anonymous No.13411780]

>>13411738
There's having a short list of things you don't like, and there's having a short list of things you will willingly eat and instantly rejecting every new food without tasting it

Lots of spoiled kids fall into the latter

[Anonymous No.13411796]

>>13411582
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WH2JRfLRP0

[Anonymous No.13411811]

>>13410984

time for sloppy joes with a dollop (Mom's secret recipe) of cottage cheese on top

feeling better?

[Anonymous No.13411815]

>>13411273

fuck up
your life has begun

[Anonymous No.13411822]

>>13411393
This comes off based but youre probably just deluding yourself

[Anonymous No.13411829]

>>13411738
I think a bit of it comes from WW II stuff and some of my family was farmers so my uncle who made a shitload of money just didn't like to see waste, so he made me in a friendly way make me clear my plate if it was a steak, which was from his own herd. When I was a little kid I didn't understand that as much as I do now that I'm a bit older.

[Anonymous No.13411899]

>>13411780
It's normal and common to go through different phases of picky eating, and I would argue that kids who stick with it are in response to combative parents.

[Anonymous No.13411926]

>>13411829
This. My parents are actual baby boomers meaning they grew up in the 50s/60s and they had like 9 siblings in a three bedroom house ins some small ass bullshit town and they would get like one orange a year for christmas and go shopping for clothes like once every 5 years cause all of their clothes were hand-me-downs.

Same reason why so many of them around that age are "normal" hoarders. Like it doesn't reach the point where you can't see the floor or there's trash everywhere, but all the cupboards and drawers are filled with bullshit - the freezers especially are bad like once something reaches its best buy date or obviously has started to turn they'll just throw that shit in the freezer for like 15 months. For them freezer burn isn't something that exists.

[Anonymous No.13411936]

>>13411137
There’s no community here. It’s the vegans, fatties, and assholes that don’t cook to blame.

[Anonymous No.13411946]

>eat shit food growing up
>didn't know it was shit food because never ate anything else.
>join the army at 17
>travel the world for 10 years
>learn my mom's food was soup kitchen tier
Now, whenever I visit my mom, I do all the cooking.
Pic related: my chili con carne with beans.

[Anonymous No.13411968]

>>13411712
>when you go out with
>my mom
you must be form the south huh?

[Anonymous No.13411996]

>>13411109
it's not horrifying, but i wouldn't say it's not bad. that's sorry and sad as hell.

[Anonymous No.13412033]

>>13411257
You too.

[Anonymous No.13412097]

>>13411570
You can eat maggoty bread. Gets old after about three days though.

[Anonymous No.13412141]

>>13411946
looks "soup kitchen tier"

[Anonymous No.13412177]

>be my boomer dad
>most of the time a decent person but has the most obnoxiously boomer opinions about food
>"you know, back in my day we used to say that fruits and veggies are for fruits who get wedgies!"
>tells this to all our vegan extended family at thanksgiving and proceeds to openly mock them at the dinner table
>will not eat anything with seasoning or spice whatsoever, only "exceptions" being salt and pepper
>thinks eating incredibly greasy food daily is good for you because it's "hearty" and "good for the soul"
>also believes the "if you can't pronounce it, it's bad for you" meme
Really not looking forward to Christmas dinner tomorrow.

[Anonymous No.13412201]

>>13411570
>Mold is only a problem on certain foods, bread is not one of them.
I'm pretty sure it is a problem on bread, unless it's really dense and dry. Mold spreads through bread easily. It's okay to cut off mold on hard cheese, hard fruits/vegetables, etc. though.

[Anonymous No.13412274]

>>13412177
>Mocks vegans at the dinner table
Based Boomer dad

[Anonymous No.13412279]

>>13411690
Why do people say this? I think they smell great. Fucking scentlets

[Anonymous No.13412290]

>>13412177
Just be like me and have Christmas alone. Wa la

[Anonymous No.13412321]

>>13411946
That's tomato soup with beans and hamburger and chili seasonings. I know because my ultra white midwestern mom made that crap for me when I was growing up. There doesn't seem to be any sign of a chili anywhere in there.

[Anonymous No.13412324]

>>13412177
>thinks eating incredibly greasy food daily is good
it is though, if you get your macros in order you'd realize fat is near the majority of what you should be eating. (not plant oils either, real animal fat)

[Anonymous No.13412332]

>>13412324
This

[Anonymous No.13412335]

c-can the ham in chicken cordon bleu make the chicken pink inside or have i just poisoned myself?

[Anonymous No.13412341]

>>13410984
Too many, It would take time to relate but this one is prime. Frying food without a shirt on and didn't dry the food first so some little bit flew out and burnt me right on my chest. I still have a little scar from that to remind me of what not to do.
I told a girlfriend about that and she thought I was on crack or something, I told her that little scar was from an ice crystal which is was from and she got all uppity and thought I was doing drugs, I was a bit drunk but not doing ice / meth / whatever, I've never done that. I think that's why we didn't get married, I stopped trusting her.

[Anonymous No.13412356]

>>13412335
F

[Anonymous No.13412358]

>>13411690
Quit overcooking them.

[Anonymous No.13412381]

>>13412335
Chikun pink
Chikun good

[Anonymous No.13412397]

>>13411968
New York, but born in Miami, I don't know that Miami is considerd that south but I was born there when English was spoken.

[Anonymous No.13412398]

>>13412097
What the fuck are you on about, eating maggoty bread? Throw that shit to your nigger slaves.

[Anonymous No.13412399]

>>13412335
>pink chicken

[Anonymous No.13412401]

>>13412321
Needs basil, all tomato soup needs basil.

[Anonymous No.13412402]

>>13410984
My mom and I call each other niggers its hilarious

[Anonymous No.13412409]

>>13411273
based purple jelly poster
If your mom didn't want it purple, she should've died it herself

[Anonymous No.13412412]

>>13412397
Miami is definitely not the south, you have to drive north to get to the south which is why in FL people say im going up to the Keys or down to Orlando

[Anonymous No.13412411]

>>13412402
yo nigga don't stand around being useless, do some fuckin dishes

[Anonymous No.13412423]

>>13412398
it was good enough for the revolutionary soldiers its good enough for me. I don't feel like explaining myself but trust me

[Anonymous No.13412451]

>>13412423
That makes me think of a couple Twilight Zone episodes.
In no particular order:
The Hunt
The Passerby
Still Valley

[Anonymous No.13412461]

>>13412451
i don't know them by name, was that the original series or the remake?

[Anonymous No.13412470]

>>13412461
Original. They're pretty much available for free download now, they're likely out of copyright.

[Anonymous No.13412487]

This one is good, spooky good.
https://www.musicoftheplants.com/a-birch-tree-in-the-twilight-zone/

[Anonymous No.13412497]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jn2LVVpnsaM
The Twilight Zone S05E34
Come Wander With Me

[Anonymous No.13412503]

>>13412497
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVdIf8BJME8
Bonnie Beecher - Come wander with me

[Anonymous No.13412505]

>>13410984
i miss these old school memes with big text

[Anonymous No.13412507]

>>13412505
I big texted your mum last night!

[Anonymous No.13412573]

>>13411273
Based and purplepilled

[Anonymous No.13412607]

>>13411686
I like brussel sprouts. But there's no point of arguing with some random retard on the internet.

[Anonymous No.13412612]

>>13412607
I'm not the one getting vietnam ptsd flashbacks from fucking pineapple of all things. What kid doesn't like sweets?

[Anonymous No.13412619]

>>13411393
Two kids you probably smacked around like a punching bag, and probably secretly hate you.

[Anonymous No.13412621]

>>13411422
It was long pig. Enjoy your kuru.

[Anonymous No.13412668]

>>13412621
Kuru only happens on 1(one) little island in the entire world, retard.

[Anonymous No.13412843]

>>13412668
That faggot still more than likely got fed human meat, Africans are nasty fucking savages and if they already did it to begin with they’d love to trick white people into doing it.

[Anonymous No.13412848]

>>13412619
>children either misbehave and love you or behave and hate you
Projecting incredibly hard right there, buddy

[Anonymous No.13413414]

>>13412497
>>13412503
this is awesome that you posted these? i'm not even old but just knowing of this makes me feel ancient. Why do modern kids not appreciate history?

[Anonymous No.13413418]

>>13412607
>there's no point of arguing with some random retard on the internet.
i beg to differ

[Anonymous No.13413432]

>>13412177
>Really not looking forward to Christmas dinner tomorrow.
It's a festive meal, you'll survive eating turkey and potatoes for one night.

[Anonymous No.13413434]

>>13412503
This episode was incredibly apparent, the rockabilly fag was boring and flat, but the song was kino.

[Anonymous No.13413447]

>>13413414
Simple answer to that, because their too into rap music and noise, listening to a lady's voice overwhelms them. If not listening to outright noise it would freak them out and they'd have to shoot up schools or post offices.

[Anonymous No.13413931]

>go to granny's house
>she throws together some zucchini and tomatoes in a casserole dish with no seasoning
>puts american cheese on top when it's done
>puts it back in the oven
>cooks even more until the veg is almost a goo

[Anonymous No.13414649]

>>13412335
F

[Anonymous No.13414936]

>>13413931
>zucchini and tomatoes in a casserole
anon this is a blue board... take your goer back to >>>/b/ where you belong

[Anonymous No.13415063]

>>13411780
And then there are the vegan parents who starve their kids to death.

I knew one in grad school, their 3yo was smaller than their neighbor's 1yo.

[Anonymous No.13415240]

>>13415063
Show us on the doll where the vegan touched you, you autistic fuckwad.

[Anonymous No.13415477]

>>13415240
>Show us on the doll where the vegan touched you
checks out

[Anonymous No.13415963]

>>13412341
If you're cooking with love you shouldn't mind a few bacon kisses.

[Anonymous No.13415996]

>>13411260
based and redpilled

[Anonymous No.13416951]

>>13411393
yikes, i feel bad for the mother

[Anonymous No.13417094]

>>13410984
>Be younger
>Love couscous as a side
>Can prepare couscous from a bag
>Go to make couscous for lunch
>Do half the quantity
>Accidentally water the full amount
>Shit's soggy
>Panic mode
>Don't know what to do
>End up trying to eat the soggy couscous
>Tastes rancid
>The mere thought of couscous make me sick for the following two months
The human body's defense mechanisms are incredible. It's amazing how you could despise a loved food after one bad experience.

[Anonymous No.13417097]

>>13417094
It doesn't taste much different though. It just has a soggy texture.

[Anonymous No.13417117]

>>13411393
They probably hate you because you use 4chan

[Anonymous No.13417126]

>>13411422
>raw as anal with my sister
Your story is fake

[Anonymous No.13417130]

>>13417126
why, do you not have a sister?

[Anonymous No.13417142]

>>13412412
And that's how you know people in Florida are idiots

[Anonymous No.13417146]

>>13412612
>pineapple
>sweet
Its mostly acidic you tard.

[Anonymous No.13417157]

>>13417117
Parenthood isn't a process of making friends with children. It is a process of preparing children to live in the world.

[Anonymous No.13417168]

>>13417130
You know as well as I do that pussy bitch couldn't fuck his sister if he tried

[Anonymous No.13417170]

>>13417157
If you're kids hate you they won't speak to you later on.
I haven't talked to my family in over a decade. Last I heard they were sad bitches about it too. I'm glad they suffer.

[Anonymous No.13417185]

>>13411137
We're still laughing at frogs. The frogs just have evolved.

[Anonymous No.13417242]

>>13411572
>>13411616
It’s free antibiotics

[Anonymous No.13417266]

>>13412097
Based and underrated

[Anonymous No.13417290]

>>13411946
>chili with beans
>white beans

[Anonymous No.13417333]

>don't want to bother thawing out frozen chicken breast
>google ways of cooking frozen breast in the oven and find one that even let me cover it in oil and spices
>put it in for recommended time of around 40 minutes
>it's kind of cooked but pan is fucked with burnt oil and shit

[Anonymous No.13417369]

>>13417094
i feel ya anon, i loved hard boiled eggs and especially scotch eggs as a kid.
once had a scotch egg where the egg was rotten.

Now hard-boiled eggs make me gag.

[Anonymous No.13417413]

>>13410984
> Thanksgiving turkey.. 0 seasoning. Only saving grace was gravy.

>Cabbage soup. So disgusting I puked at the smell of something similar while in elementary, at school.

>Mom just a miserable bitch in general

[Anonymous No.13417988]

>>13417146
One slice of pineapple has 4 teaspoons of sugar. Sorry your taste buds are broken bro that really sucks you can't taste sweet flavors.

[Anonymous No.13418066]

>>13417369
You gotta try and force yourself to eat one, break the "all hard-boiled eggs are rotten" spell your brain had put on itself. Eat one, find it's not rotten, and your aversion will fade away. Try sunny-side up, a poached egg or even an egg salad before going for a hard-boiled one. Try a small slice of the egg, maybe with something else to mask the smell. There is a mental block you need to breach through. Don't miss out on eggs.

[Anonymous No.13418104]

>>13411393
You beat them don't you

[Anonymous No.13418121]

>>13411378
>I can go months
kys retard lmao

[Anonymous No.13418273]

>>13411393
You probably aren't a good person

[Anonymous No.13418335]

>>13411690
Stop boiling them

[Anonymous No.13418587]

>>13417333
...20 mins in the hot water anon, in a plastic bag. not fully thawd but enough to cut up and cook with.

[Anonymous No.13418595]

[Anonymous No.13418715]

>>13411248
I feel you anon, had the same happen to me but with tomatoes when I was 6. Those cunts took pleasure in torturing me.

[Anonymous No.13418983]

my student loans were late when i was younger and i lived on cheese on toast and bbq flavoured ramen for two weeks.

[Anonymous No.13418984]

>>13411946
gonna be honest but it looks like shit

[Anonymous No.13419132]

>>13411379
Watched my dad fry some sausage the other day
>nonstick pan nice and hot
>no oil because lolteflon
>precooked sausage in, slices it in pan
>walks off to watch tv
I eventually had to go at least flip it and put some water in there to deglaze whatever had managed to build up. The man doesn't care, he even has his own pans for quarantine purposes.

[Anonymous No.13419244]

>>13412177
He's half right

[Anonymous No.13419276]

>>13412177
Your dad sounds based.

[Anonymous No.13419419]

>>13412843
No, it was bush meat. With rubbery chicken, it was probably crocodile.

[Anonymous No.13419563]

>>13412573
thx doc

[Anonymous No.13419620]

>>13419419
fucking croc and gator are so chewy, hated eating that shit as a kid
t. swamp rat

[Anonymous No.13419687]

>>13419620
How was it prepared? Croc, gator and snake never seemed as chewy to me as people like to say but I've only ever had them in sausage form.

[Anonymous No.13419748]

>>13411253
>>13411344
>>13411686

Not him, but I actually have a thing where pineapple burns like acid on my tongue.
I don't know why, and when I tell people about it, they don't understand what I mean.
Maybe i just have an intolerance to pineapple.

But the point is, if you're feeding a CHILD a specific food and he keeps spitting it out over and over again, it's possible he is allergic or has an intolerance.

[Anonymous No.13419785]

My father doesn't wash his hands before cooking.
And it also bothers me that I know he doesn't take hygiene very seriously in general.
So if, for example, a piece of meat dropped on the floor, as long as nobody saw it, he would pick it up and cook it anyway.

I have found dog hair in food he cooked before.

[Anonymous No.13419794]

>>13419748
My mom was never the parent to force food on her children or trick them into eating it or anything like that. We all liked just about everything in the end. I hated bacon after eating too much and puking, a brother doesn't like sweet corn but off the cob he likes corn. Couple out of 6 don't like raw tomatoes, 1 doesn't like raw onion. We all will try anything as adults and be honest about it. Those that didn't like raw tomatoes like garden grown raw tomatoes for example.
Course, my dad's an ultra alpha and likes everything. Even milk that's gone off and bugs. For sure we all looked up to him as a leader, likely that had an effect on us trying things.
My mom was also never a finish the plate type (she'd just give it to my dad who's alpha enough to clean the plates of his 6 kids) unless we served it to ourselves. If I put it on my own plate, that plate better be clean. If she put it on my plate, it's when I was finished.
I think in the end, I'm not gonna force my kids to eat anything unless they served it to themselves and I'm gonna be that alpha that was my dad and eat whatever without giving a fuck. Already on my way, I can drink bad milk without getting sick for example.
My dad used to eat chicken that stunk of sewage and not get sick though. Not sure I'll ever be that much man.

[Anonymous No.13419853]

>>13412324
Someone explain this to me and how to reach that stage

[Anonymous No.13419901]

>>13411690

You're cooking them too slow. Higher heat, less time.

[Anonymous No.13420111]

>>13419785
That's just extra fiber, anon.

[Anonymous No.13422057]

saved from page 10

[Anonymous No.13422065]

>>13422057
Were you going to make a contribution to the thread?

[Anonymous No.13422285]

>>13422065
I once ate a homecooked meal.

[Anonymous No.13422619]

>>13422285
we don't believe you

[Anonymous No.13422643]

>parents buy vegetarian chili because they don't trust canned meat.
>Add their own meat
>accidentally spill half a jar of pretzel salt into the chili
>Add a living fuckton of parsley because they believe it neutralizes salt
>it doesn't

[Anonymous No.13423382]

>>13418066
Does this explain why I can eat Surströmming but gag whenever I even look at mac n cheese?

[Anonymous No.13423415]

>>13410984
>dad tries to make garlic bread
>puts garlic powder on buttered bread and bakes it
>the powder forms a brown crust
>take a bite and immediately spit it out since it literally just tasted like eating a large helping of garlic powder
>he enjoys it

[Anonymous No.13423646]

>>13410984
>prime beef
>cooked through and through
makes me so mad
so I trashed it in my mouth in under a minute and did my best not to enjoy it
why would you do such a thing to beautiful steak
you murder the poor cow and then do this with its meat
it should be blue red and you should enjoy all the red juices flowing out of it for hours while you chomp on it for five minutes trying desperately to somehow break off a piece of it
but instead it's something more akin to a mc donalds burger

[Anonymous No.13423848]

>>13419794
>eating gone off shit is manly
lmfao

[Anonymous No.13423867]

>>13412097
three stinking days

[Anonymous No.13423904]

>>13410984
>be me
>eat a HAUNTED burger
>that night, ghosts come to my house and coom in my butt
>now every time I fart, it's SPOOOOOOKY

[Anonymous No.13424095]

>>13423415
WAIT.... is that not what garlic bread is supposed to be like? My family mocked me for not liking it for so long but i never capitulated

[Anonymous No.13424104]

>>13423904
seems rather enjoyably if you ask me

[Anonymous No.13424149]

>>13417988
He's probably American. Most of us have to ADD sugar to fruit in order to make it edible.

[Anonymous No.13424174]

>>13411811
Actually sounds tasty, the spicy joes with the creamy cool cottage cheese could work. Sour cream would be better though.

[Anonymous No.13424193]

>>13412177
>"you know, back in my day we used to say that fruits and veggies are for fruits who get wedgies!"
>tells this to all our vegan extended family at thanksgiving and proceeds to openly mock them at the dinner table
Based and boomerpilled

[Anonymous No.13424201]

>>13415240
>here’s something bad about vegans
>automatically assumes they must be pedos as well
You were accidentally based and redpilled for once in your life

[Anonymous No.13424231]

>>13424095
It’s what a lot of people think garlic bread is but it’s really not. The proper way to make garlic bread is let your butter soften and then finely or coarsely chop up garlic (I like mine finely chopped) and mix it in with the butter until it’s incorporated evenly. Then you take that and spread it on the bread and bake it. It’s amazing.

[Anonymous No.13424275]

>>13423415
>>13424095
Yeah my granddad was upper-middle class and did this all the time. It's delicious even though it seems trashy.

[Anonymous No.13424378]

>>13419687
not the guy you're replying to, but also swamp rat (Louisiana), I'd equate it to various textures of cartilage and undercooked lobster.

[Anonymous No.13424389]

>>13419687
ps fuck i forgot to add: tail, loin and neck meat, cut into pieces and fried or stewed. it's best treated like turtle, ground into sausage or stewed to hell. Also I'm just a coonass by breeding, I grew up mostly in the city so if anyone else comes along with better information, take their word

[Anonymous No.13424566]

>drunk
>poor
>hungry
>toast two peices of bread
>fry one peice of tilapia
>place on toast
>American cheese on top
>sour kraut on top of cheese
>mayonnaise too
Ate the while thing but it really wasn't that good

[Anonymous No.13424592]

>>13410984
Not truly a horror story since it turned out OK, but almost a horror story.
On the first Thanksgiving dinner that I did at my first apartment I was following a recipe and forgot to take out the bag of giblets from the turkey. Luckily I reread the recipe about 1/2 hour in and pulled the bag out, luckily the inside of the turkey wasn't hot enough to have melted the plastic bag of giblets. So while might have been a horror story, I saved it and the turkey turned out great.

[Anonymous No.13424640]

>>13411946
This look like soup.
What up with the date of the filename also.

[Anonymous No.13424662]

>>13424592
This happened to me. My own mom asked me why I wasn't simmering the neckbone and giblets to assist the gravy later, and I was like, what giblets? I pulled it out too, about 30 mins in, but it was in a paper bag inside the neck cavity. I didn't know there was more than one cavity!

[Anonymous No.13424665]

>>13410984
>my grandfather
>it's the early 60's
>goes to India on a charity relief mission thing his grandmother had organized
>they build a well and some other shit, preach the bible to a small village in the middle of nowhere
>village throws a feast as thanks
>apparently the food was surprisingly good until dessert
>they bring out this huge sheetcake, like the cake mix vanilla kind
>cut it into squares
>obviously super proud they managed to get a hold of this Western delicacy
>only problem is, the entire thing is crawling with ants
>grandpa's grandmother takes a slice without comment, and starts having a conversation with an elder while carefully tapping it as ants cascade from it.
>grandpa stares at his slice, unable to bring himself to touch it.
>"You have to eat it, We can't offend them now. It must've taken a lot of effort for them to get this and they'll be crushed if you don't." His grandmother tells him as she continues to surreptitiously shake ants out of her own slice.
>eventually he forces himself to take a bite after attempting to copy grandmother
>ants crawling around in his mouth even then
>has to to finish the whole thing

[Anonymous No.13424683]

>>13424665
Those poos knew exactly what they were doing.

[Anonymous No.13424685]

>>13424592
wow, I would never have guessed there's a bag in there. good catch

[Anonymous No.13424699]

>>13419419
crocodile wouldn't even be offensive on the list of things it could be. could be monkey meat, that'd be a problem

[Anonymous No.13425142]

>>13424201
top kek

[Anonymous No.13425147]

>>13424389
yeah that sounds about right. gator tail stewed properly isn't bad

[Anonymous No.13425160]

>>13424662
>I didn't know there was more than one cavity!
i lack words to describe what i am feeling

[Anonymous No.13426131]

>be me
> forced to eat McD's as a kid
> instinctively know its not actually food
>refuse to eat it
>weigh only 38lbs as a 9yo

[Anonymous No.13426164]

I'm mixed and my black mom unironically calls me "half nigger" all the time...

[Anonymous No.13426172]

>>13426164
Steal her purse

[Anonymous No.13426207]

>>13411137
I have never felt like wasting my time here

It’s entertaining at the very least

[Anonymous No.13426279]

>>13424662
At least we saved them so it wasn't a total horror story for either of us.

[Anonymous No.13426281]

>>13425160
Is that shillary clinton?