Most autistic shit you've done at dinner?

[Anonymous No.13393312]

I feel like the only sperg in the world right now. Let me know I'm not alone /ck/
>last night
>dinner with gf's parents for the first time
>sit down and chair makes fart noise
>everyone looks up
>laugh too loud and say it was the chair
>try to recreate noise and accidentally bump table
>knock over every glass except for mine
>nerves are fried so all I can think to do is say, WHOOPSIE DAISY! WAITER!!! HAHA, again way too loudly
>no one has said a word yet except me
>get up and try to find paper towels
>gf's mom finally points to them
>attempt to clean up mess and accidentally wipe over her dad's plate
>he silently goes to make another
>finally begin eating
>hands are shaking
>tell her mom that the lasagna is great and miss my mouth entirely on a bite
>tomato sauce and cheese all over my cheek
>reach for napkin too fast and knock over my glass
>panic
>don't know what to do anymore so I excuse myself to the living room and sit in front of television
>after an hour of almost complete silence get ready to leave
>gf stays with parents, I go home
>she won't return my calls.
Yeah, I know, thingsthatneverhappened.gif and all that. But it happened and it sucks.. How bout you /ck/? What's your worst dinner story? Pls help

[Anonymous No.13393388]

>>13393312
This is more lunch but I'll engage.
>At Chik-Fill-A with my sister and brother
>Eating at a table when I notice a group of latinas
>Quickly look away. My sister always tries to embarrass me in situations like this
>Too late. Sis knows and brings over the latinas.
>Try to say hi. End up shitting myself

[Anonymous No.13393687]

>>13393312
Sounds based. Stop calling.

[Anonymous No.13393693]

I accidentally knocked over my glass of water while having christmas dinner with family. It didn't break and there was no water in it.

[Anonymous No.13393704]

>>13393312
Your gf is a cunt if she cares what her parents think and her parents are cunts if they don’t have the perspective to understand you’re a nervous young man who really likes their daughter (or else you wouldn’t have been a sperg).

Sounds like the entire family is full of cunts and possibly psycho petty retards, maybe you dodged a bullet son

[Anonymous No.13393711]

>>13393704
>possibly psycho petty retards, you dodged a bullet son
Based. OP deserves better than militant normies.

Welcome to /ck/

[Anonymous No.13393722]

>>13393711
Not really a
>welcome to /ck/
Post, but I’m glad im not the only one who sees how bad they really are

[Anonymous No.13393748]

>>13393722
This. They are normal until the part where she leaves him alone for an hour. Very unbased desu

[Anonymous No.13393762]

>>13393704
Yeah that girl is a psycho for having a good relationship with her parents and not giving it up for the genetic dead end that is op

[Anonymous No.13393772]

>>13393762
Having a good relationship with your parents doesn’t mean that you completely cut someone off for being nervous around them. It’s not like he called them niggers and showed them his cock or his Pokémon card collection or a bunch of rare pepe’s, he just made a couple bad jokes and acted clumsy. If I dumped every dumb bitch that acted clumsy around me, i’d be a lonely virgin like you.

It turns out when people act nervous around you, it actually means they want your cock inside them (or to put their cock in you, in her case I guess) so to make a big deal out of nervousness is to avoid anyone who actually gives a shit about you at all. If someone doesn’t get nervous at all meeting your parents, as a girl, you know that guy just wants to hit it and quit it. Teenage girls are fucking dumb though and will consistently let the “cool” guy who’s totally not nervous around her parents fuck and dump though.

[Anonymous No.13393786]

>>13393772
>It turns out when people act nervous around you, it actually means they want your cock inside them
Anon...

[Anonymous No.13393890]

>>13393786
There’s a difference between nervous and anxious/scared you fucking autist, sorry you can’t read emotions

[Anonymous No.13393945]

You bros are top notch. Thanks

[Anonymous No.13393999]

>>13393945
Yeah sure whatever, go back to tiktok you underage b& fag, this post isn’t even related to food besides for the setting and it’s not even a good one. Maybe one of these will suit you better
>>>/b/
>>>/adv/
>>>/trash/
>>>/bant/

[Anonymous No.13394024]

>>13393999
Sounds like my post hit close to home. Hope you overcome your social awkwardness bro.

[Anonymous No.13394046]

>/r9k/ bullshit

[Anonymous No.13394052]

Before I begin my harrowing tale, let me state that I'm a well-spoken individual with passing complexion. Why does this matter? Because a latino that's well-spoken and has pale complexion (I blame Dutch and Spaniard explorer genetics) is always assumed to be white. Let's begin .

A girl I was seriously attracted to happened to be black. She never asked me my ethnicity. We had been flirting and dating for a few weeks when her folks invited me over for dinner. It wa a pretty standard looking spread. Meatloaf, potatoes, bread n butter and vegetable type of stuff. There's an actual matched pair of parents and a younger brother eating with us. Conversation is light, food is edible and things are going alright when it happens.
"It's so nice that my daughter finally met a nice white boy to bring home." I'm sitting there with a chunk of potato half in my mouth when I freeze up. I look at her, but she's giggling and looking at her dad in that fake-embarrassed way.

Now since I can remember, all the kids I grew up with in The Bronx wanted to kick my ass up and down the block because they thought I was white and as such an easy victim, until I started holding my own. Then my brothers and sisters get involved and the thruth comes out. So I had a bit of an issue being called 'white boy'.

So there I am, trying not to have a sperg freakout, and just pull out my ID with my name on it. I point to the last name, and it's a name that couldn't be more latino if you threw a handful of beans at someone while they read it. Her dad's looking at her, and then at me, and then back at her. The mom doesn't know what's going on until I show her the name, and she belts out 'Well fuck me!' Then the dad's yelling at the girl, she's yelling at her dad, the mom's yelling at the dad, dad's yelling at wife, li'l bro ducks under the table and runs out of the room. All I'm hearing is 'spicspicfuckingwetbackwhycan'tyoulandawhiteboy' so I just take the meatloaf and walk out to the subway and go home.

[Anonymous No.13394081]

>>13393772
>whiteknighting this hard for faggot OP

[Anonymous No.13394146]

>>13394046
>>13394081
Maybe you should go to one of those boards if you don't like this thread. No one's making you keep f5ing.

[Anonymous No.13394564]

Walked out of a 2 start restaurant after sitting down and finding literally nothing on their menu I wanted to eat.

[Anonymous No.13394576]

I had sukiyaki for the first time in Sendai city with a cute Japanese girl.
I had never eaten it before, so I wasn't aware that the egg is for dipping cooked food into raw, so I freaked it into the pot.
She was a champ and didn't say shit. But she was also a lesbian so I never had a shot anyway.

[Anonymous No.13394603]

>>13394046
Nobody actually posts "original" content on /r9k/. It's only virgins whining about women and virgins larping as women to whine about men.

[Anonymous No.13394643]

>>13394052
I hate to break it to you, anon, but it sounds like you are white.

[Anonymous No.13394683]

>make sweet romantic dinners for gf before she passed away
>subtle music going on background as sit down and begin eating
>jaw begins clicking with every bite
>get embarrassed no matter what
>gf teases me playfully and makes me feel better

I miss you.

[Anonymous No.13394740]

>>13394081
>whiteknighting
Whiteknighting is defending some dumb whore who makes an attention-post, I’m pointing out the obvious psychological problems in some dumb whores family so this random dude doesn’t think HE’s the one fucked up when this bitch and her parents are complete prudent faggots
If anything I only inadvertently defended him by pointing out how fucking awful that bitch and her shit family are, not my fault 80% of urban and suburban Americans are this fucking psycho. If insulting it seems “weird” to you, then you’re the brainwashed retard here who doesn’t know what psychotic looks like

[Anonymous No.13394750]

>>13393312
Fake story.

[Anonymous No.13394765]

>>13394683
I'm sorry anon, I hope you can find happiness again.

[Anonymous No.13394808]

I don’t let people know that I have misophonia, it means “the hatred of sound” and when people chew loudly around me and even just grit their teeth it makes my blood boil, like I’m pretty calm on average but anyone chewing ice makes me want to lose it on them.

I just try and hide it, and tend to eat alone or convince people to get something like pho which is a soup and I can handle slurping much better than crunching. If my friends found out I feel like they would do it often and I’d end up freaking out in public all autisticly so I pretend it’s nothing.

[Anonymous No.13394819]

>>13394808
Hey bud, not to be rude or anything, but I think I just found out you have ass burgers?

[Anonymous No.13394829]

>>13394819
No I have good friends some of them I’ve been able to keep for 10+ years, I don’t have issues with social skills and I have a good sense of empathy. Those things rule out me being a true aspie just don’t chew your fucking ice in front of me

[Anonymous No.13394831]

>>13394808
I hear you, brother. I'm right there with you. I could slit someone's throat for eating spaghetti with their mouth open.

[Anonymous No.13394834]

>>13394829
what if i really like ice?

[Anonymous No.13394843]

>>13394829
Does it make you made to hear a girl slurp your cock or have you not been able to achieve this on account of your tism

[Anonymous No.13394845]

>>13394834
It's your funeral. My ex gf chewed ice. That's why she's my ex gf.

[Anonymous No.13394861]

>>13394843
You've never enjoyed a bj before. There's no slurping unless it's an inexperienced teen.

[Anonymous No.13394870]

>>13394861
You have a small cock, there’s no slurping if it fits in her mouth easily. A good cock will absolutely slam into the back of the girls throat. If fully inserted

[Anonymous No.13394883]

>>13394870
In other words you are a homosexual.

[Anonymous No.13394885]

>>13394883
No in other words your penis is minuscule

[Anonymous No.13394895]

>>13394885
Whatever you say, Virgin.

[Anonymous No.13394907]

>>13393704
Lmfao that story must have hit a nerve. If my daughter brought some spastic idiot to dinner, I'd tell her he's a loser and she could do better and it'd be true. If that spaz were my gf I'd be embarrassed for not seeing it sooner.

[Anonymous No.13394927]

>>13394907
>implying this unfortunate series of events couldn’t happen to literally anyone
It’s like this nigga wrote a Seinfeld episode, do you not remember what being underage b& was like? Was your childhood full of loneliness and social isolation or something? Only someone with that miserable of a teenage life could be that critical of a cunt to a teenager.

[Anonymous No.13394941]

>>13394907
Kinda sounds like you wanna fuck your daughter, chomo.

[Anonymous No.13394952]

>>13393312
I'm almost inclined to believe you. That sounds just too retarded to make up.

[Anonymous No.13394957]

>>13394927
I wasnt spastic growing up lol sorry. That only happens when you're acting and you can't live up to it. It's simple.

[Anonymous No.13395042]

>>13394808
I was so amped when I found out that there was a name for the condition, and that I wasn't alone in this world.
The rage is fucking unbearable. I don't sperg out, but I will politely excuse myself from a meal just because someone is eating like a fucking animal.

[Anonymous No.13395082]

>>13393722
It actually was a
>welcome to /ck/
pOst, you spastic faggot go get kicked out of another dinner party.

[Anonymous No.13395096]

>>13395082
Welcome to /ck/

[Anonymous No.13395186]

>>13394843
You need to be 18 or older to post here faggot

[Anonymous No.13395206]

>>13395096
>>13395186
seething!

[Anonymous No.13395208]

>>13394957
ur dumb

[Anonymous No.13395253]

>>13393312
Fucking kek,
Honestly bro, I'd apologize and see what comes of it. That was a real autism moment and it would suck if that is what will destroy the relationship.

[Anonymous No.13395414]

>>13393312
they're the spergs for not laughing at your jokes

[Anonymous No.13395612]

The only absolutely irredeemable thing you did was sitting on the couch for an hour doing nothing. Being catatonic is a sign of mental unwellness and was what probably freaked out the family the most.

[Anonymous No.13395629]

>>13393388
What? How does your brain take the command for "say hi" and interpret it as "empty bowels"? I'm genuinely curious how that came about.

[Anonymous No.13395645]

>>13395042

I've dealt with it by only eating with people in loud restaurants or with loud television on. Drowns out the slurping/smacking/crunching.

[Anonymous No.13395741]

LMFAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Anonymous No.13395753]

>>13393312
This obviously didn't happen but I could see you writing a slapstick comedy movie. Make it happen Anon.

[Anonymous No.13395789]

>>13394829
You're thinking of autism. Aspies have good empathy and social skills are readily learned as soon as you realize you just have to consciously emulate what others instinctively emulate.

[Anonymous No.13395808]

>>13395789
No I’m not, just google the disease and those are two symptoms

[Anonymous No.13395814]

>be me
>be at pancake breakfast with friends
>so tired that i fall asleep face first in my pancakes
>abruptly wake up and yell I'M PANCAKE.....I mean....awake.....

Ugh

[Anonymous No.13395825]

>>13395789
Aspergers is a form of autism.

[Anonymous No.13395828]

>>13395814
Hate it when that happens

[Anonymous No.13395830]

>>13395825
No

>>13395808
Not really

[Anonymous No.13395837]

>>13395830
>No
Yes.
https://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/mental-health-aspergers-syndrome
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome
https://www.autismspeaks.org/types-autism-what-asperger-syndrome

[None !2Code3TV3M No.13395847]

>>13395830
aspergers is just autism-lite and shouldnt even be considered a condition, it's just a predisposition to be a socially inept nerd

[Anonymous No.13395850]

I can relate OP. If you are not diagnosed yet, seek help and get treatment, you can't cure autism but it gets easier dealing with it. With practice you can recognize blackouts like that faster and act on it, instead of staying in the heat of the moment trying to act like there's nothing wrong, while everybody thinks that you're crazy. In the long run you will get more confident about yourself and incidents like this won't happen anymore.

[Anonymous No.13395852]

>>13395837
But not really. Asperger's was redefined about ten to fifteen years ago. What Hans Asperger was writing about is very different from current writings about it. Autism is almost the opposite condition.

[Anonymous No.13395871]

How did you even get a gf

[Anonymous No.13395873]

>>13395414
>ruin the dinner
>w-why aren't you laughing, bros

[Anonymous No.13395899]

anyone else notice how op’s tone changed from validation seeking incel to “haha love my /ck/ bros y’all are so chill” once he got his screencap for /r/4chan
this thread is up there right now btw
good job enabling him

[Anonymous No.13395937]

>>13393772
>Having a good relationship with your parents doesn’t mean that you completely cut someone off for being nervous around them
There's a difference between being nervous and between ruining a dinner and lacking any form of manners.

[Anonymous No.13395967]

>>13395899
If you browse there, you're part of the problem

[Anonymous No.13396238]

>>13393312
>dinner with relatives
>main dish is beef tongue
>dad puts the plate awkwardly on the table, some of the meat slips on the tablecloth
>I say "heh, lapsus linguae!" and start laughing
>noone else is laughing
>feel like an ass

[Anonymous No.13396479]

>>13393704
I feel like if you had a daughter you'd do everything in your power to prevent her from possibly reproducing with some retarded little faggot like OP

[Anonymous No.13396513]

>>13393890
Anon... The OP is a guy...

[Anonymous No.13396544]

>>13394808
I agree. I can't stand it when people chew with their mouth open. I married a Flip and I can't stand dinner with them. Her family can't chew wither mouths closed and always talk with food in their mouth with half of it falling on the table. Thankfully, through verbal abuse, I trained my wife to be human and keep her damn mouth shut

[Anonymous No.13396568]

>>13395645
That's pretty much what I do. My gf is considerate enough to wait for me to throw on something to watch before she starts eating.
She isn't even a messy/loud eater, she's just watched the seething hatred in my eyes one too many times at dinner with family or friends.
We also only ever eat potato chips at the same time.
Surprisingly, we both are totally normal and not autismo.

[Anonymous No.13396597]

>>13395899
>this thread is up there right now btw
Why do you even know this?

[Anonymous No.13396859]

>>13396568
>tfw no considerate gf

[Anonymous No.13397016]

>>13395899
OP here. Yes I am seeking validation, fight me. And no, I didn't put this on reddit. Was probably you, fag.

[Anonymous No.13397304]

>eating dindin in the cafeteria with everyone from my floor
>it's fried chicken and mashed taters night
>big fat black guy makes them
>literally the best fucking fried chicken ive ever eaten
>sit down at the end of the table like the king I am and use two forks to shovel mashed up fried chicken and taters into my mouth
>food going everywhere and people down at the end of the 20 person long table can hear me swallowing the food
I miss college meals.

[Anonymous No.13397493]

>>13393312
Eh, if this is true then the family come across like retards. I mean meeting a girlfriends family is a nervous experience for anyone right? they should understand that too and should have been more welcoming and comforting. I would stop messaging and if she doesn’t reply, then who cares? Find a better and more chill gf.

[Anonymous No.13398454]

>>13393312
>eating potatoes, duck-sauce and duck.
>the sauce is really good but is very fluid, borderline same consistency as water
>pours it over the potato, hardly any coating, just ran down the potatoes and made a large puddle on the plate.
>cuts open all the potatoes, both ways.
>have plenty of sauce, so is not gonna take any more.
>mom says i should probably have cutted the potatoes before i poured the sauce over, instead of afterwards.
>tell her to stfu..
>i am 30.

[Anonymous No.13398459]

>>13395899
Put me in the crosspost

[Anonymous No.13398609]

I know this didnt happen, but if any of you think that how OP handled his chair creating a vaguely fartlike sound is justifiable you are too far gone lol. Sorry to break it to you.

[Anonymous No.13398655]

>>13398454
Move out.

Don't take your frustrations out on your mother because she had the "audacity" to give constructive criticism.

[Anonymous No.13398741]

>>13398454
should've just diced the potatoes
how did you cook the duck though? thats the important part. properly cooked duck should overshadow the sides every time

[Anonymous No.13398755]

OP here. I'll admit I lied. I have a boyfriend not a girlfriend, and I'm the bottom.

[Anonymous No.13398811]

>>13394957
>I-I wasn't a spastic
You sound like a fag dude, god forbid OP has a series of unfortunate events. Bet this story hit too close to home & it's why your seething so hard

[Anonymous No.13399867]

>>13393772
the faux pass was going to sit alone at the living room

[Anonymous No.13399904]

>>13393312
Holy christ dude you could have heiled in the middle of dinner and the mood couldnt be more uncomfortable.

I can only imagine the conversation your girlfriend and her parents had afterwards

[Anonymous No.13400056]

>>13393312
>don't know what to do anymore so I excuse myself to the living room and sit in front of television
>after an hour of almost complete silence get ready to leave

Everything else you did was awkward as fuck, but this is the bit I would find totally fucked up if somebody did this at my place. Everything else can be fixed, but going and sitting by yourself when you're supposed to be with the gf and parents is fucking weird.

[Anonymous No.13400406]

>>13398454
>cutted
>30 years old
Dude, you don't need to move out. You need remedial English lessons before you even try to negotiate a lease.

[Anonymous No.13400407]

>>13396568
Well, one of you might not be autismo. But that one person is not you bucko

[Anonymous No.13400412]

>>13400407
What did he mean by this?

[Anonymous No.13400583]

>>13393388
Fun fact the bottom image wont kill you it'll at best sever your tendon and make using that arm permanently difficult.

[kevin er min lille snut No.13400722]

>>13393312
put me in the screencap