/PRETZ/

[Anonymous No.13318815]

[Anonymous No.13318825]

fuck you for making me want a pretzel.

[Anonymous No.13318827]

>>13318815
OYY VAY

[Anonymous No.13319080]

Girl I know started a small pretzel shop and now owns like 5 stores in 3 states.

[Anonymous No.13319097]

>>13319080
The Dakotas are only 1 state.

[Anonymous No.13319886]

>>13318815
pretzel and cheese? nah....
pretzel's only sauce is mustard

[Anonymous No.13320039]

>>13319886
what is this American cancer of eating pretzels with that liquid cheese or mustard?If you can even call that abortion in the pic an actual pretzel. Pretzels are eaten with only butter or with Obazda.

[Anonymous No.13320242]

>>13320039
mmmmm chez

[Anonymous No.13320280]

>>13320039
mustard is good on pretzels though, idk what you are on about

at least it isnt cinnamon or some other crazy shit like that.

[Anonymous No.13322105]

Based

preletz are great

[Anonymous No.13322140]

>>13320039
shut up bitch Bavarians eat it with sweet mustard all the time

[Anonymous No.13322151]

is covrigi good

[Anonymous No.13322152]

Americans rules

[Anonymous No.13322157]

>carbs

[Anonymous No.13322279]

>>13318815
disgusting fake cheese shit

[Anonymous No.13322377]

>>13320039
When I was living in Germany I ate so many fucking "butterbrezeln". I thought it sounded gross, a salted Bavarian pretzel with an appreciable layer of butter in the middle, but Jesus was I wrong. Theyre fucking incredible. Can't find em anywhere in the states, it sucks.

[Anonymous No.13322400]

>>13322157
pussy

[Anonymous No.13322594]

[Anonymous No.13322617]

>>13320039
>what is it with people doing things DIFFERENTLY THAN ME?
You never developed theory of mind, huh?

[Anonymous No.13322618]

>>13322140
No, we dont.

[Anonymous No.13322623]

>>13322617
>doing things DIFFERENTLY THAN ME
Just dont do them shittily and dont defile Bavarian Brezn and I shall be content

[Anonymous No.13322628]

>>13322623
I dont eat my BigMac with whipped cream from a can either. Or put turkey gravy on my apple pie.

[Anonymous No.13322677]

That's not a pretzel.
This is a pretzel.

[Anonymous No.13322864]

>>13322140
No, we eat it with weisswurst, it just happens that it comes with pretzel.

[Anonymous No.13322973]

>>13322864
This, the mustard is for the Wurst. Scraping up leftovers with the pretzel is acceptable though, unless boomers are present.

[Anonymous No.13322980]

>>13318815
U ZEL'N BRAH?

[Anonymous No.13322983]

>>13320039
>Obazda
That looks good, thanks for sharing.

[Anonymous No.13322991]

>>13322157
Based obese retard

[Anonymous No.13323608]

How do I makes pretzels?

[Anonymous No.13324489]

>>13323608
boil bread in lye

[Anonymous No.13324565]

>>13324489
will diluted drain cleaner work for this purpose or do i need food-grade lye?

[Anonymous No.13324618]

>>13324565
On the off chance you're retarded I won't be sarcastic.

Yes use food grade lye, and rubber glove

[Anonymous No.13324631]

>>13324618
thnx bb

[Anonymous No.13324664]

>>13324631
I would suggest looking up a recipe, but the general procedure is you blanch the dough in the lye solution then bake. sort of like a bagel.
If you're supper desperate for a pretzel you can use a baking soda and water solution, but it will leave the pretzels with a mild metallic taste

[Anonymous No.13325560]

>>13322140
>>13322618
Actual bavarian here, and yes, we fucking do.

[Anonymous No.13325567]

>>13322377
why dont you do em yourself? The recipe is fairly easy and spreading butter on shit isnt hard m8
>>13322983
Well since youre probably american and dont have camembert or any unpasteurised cream cheese varietes, I guess it would he hard to get a comparable product.

[Anonymous No.13325576]

>>13322677
>soggy and wet outside
>the salt has already drawn water and is very uneven in size
>the crust is clearly thin, dry and very brittle
This is a cheap shitty industrial pretzel you'd get in these Munich Tourist traps like Hofbräuhaus and what have you.

[Anonymous No.13325580]

>>13318815
What you do is you dip one piece into mustard and eat it then your next piece into cheese and eat it then the next piece into mustard then cheese then you eat it then you repeat

[Anonymous No.13325587]

>>13318815
this pretzel looks horrendous
>oily
>soggy
>too soft
>no crust (obviously no lye was used)
>braided horribly
even our homemade frosted oven pretzels are leagues beyond this piece of trash.

[Anonymous No.13325594]

>>13325560
no we don't? nobody just dunks a pretzel in sweet mustard. with weißwurst or leberkas, sure, but even then i will put butter for the pretzel on the table.

[Anonymous No.13325597]

>>13325594
Im living in and around munich and tons of people do this, maybe they dont do it in your faggy northern bavarian region but in the south we like our sweet mustard.

[Anonymous No.13325602]

>>13325594
and obviously we dont just buy pretzels but when theres a reason to have pretzels, lots of people dip em into the mustard and why wouldnt you? Its good on its own but even better with something else

[Anonymous No.13325640]

>>13325597
I live in Erding mein Neger, have lived there my whole life and nobody here dunks his Brezn in sweet mustard. It's for the Weißwürscht like the other anon said. If you saw someone doing it it then it is almost certain it was a Saupreiß.

[Anonymous No.13325644]

>>13325587
Imagine if Americans got this autistic about the abominations European countries call burgers and pizza

[Anonymous No.13325762]

>>13325644
this must be bait.

[Anonymous No.13325814]

yet another thread where eurochads make me seethe with jealousy

I never liked american pretzels. I bet they're nothing like the real thing. We also have things like "eclairs" that are just solid bricks of corn syrup dyed and shaped to mimic real ones

[Anonymous No.13325966]

>>13325814
I honestly would like to tell you that I am envious of your food Ameribro, but honestly I'm beyond HFCS and *BIG MEATS*.

[Anonymous No.13325991]

>>13325814
french, italian and german bakery and patisserie is top tier. French food is so fucking good and if you pay a little more for a quality eclair instead of some cheapo shit, its creamy doughy sweet texture will blow you away.

[Anonymous No.13326017]

These mennonite pretzels are unreasonably delicious.

[Anonymous No.13326190]

>>13322157
Fuck yeah bro. Now youll live to 83 forgetting how to tie your shoes and shitting yourself, instead of getting that stroke at 79. At least you avoided those carbs though man you made it!

[Anonymous No.13326237]

>>13318815
Americans CAN NOT make pretzels. You DO NOT eat them with plastic cheese.

[Anonymous No.13326291]

>>13325640
>>13325597
what's it like being a bavarian?

[Anonymous No.13326294]

>>13326017
mennonites are really good at cooking, carpentry, and child abuse

[Anonymous No.13326306]

>>13325644
based and checked, euro burgers are mind bendingly bad but i can't be bothered to give a fuck

[Anonymous No.13326311]

>>13325644
>Imagine if Americans got this autistic about the abominations European countries call burgers and pizza
we do but only when you show it on american television like Gordon Ramsay

[Anonymous No.13326315]

>>13326294
>good at cooking, carpentry, and child abuse
the important things in life

[Anonymous No.13326319]

>>13326311
true, don't try to pass it off as actual American food

[Anonymous No.13326643]

>>13326315
If you do it right you can do two at once

[Anonymous No.13326680]

>>13326643
i see that being possible, all three seem like a stretch though. Nobody wants saw dust in their food or ass

[Anonymous No.13326844]

>>13318815
what is the verdict, baking soda or lye? my roommate worked at little caesars and told me their pretzel crust was made with baking soda and he'd never trust food that has been made with lye.

[Anonymous No.13326904]

>>13318815
>p
>tz
Joa mei es heißt Brezn you yankee mongrels

[Anonymous No.13326939]

>>13318815
Beer cheese is the ideal topping for pretzels. even better than mustard. Germans, buy yourself some stout Irish beer, make up a small pot of beer cheese, dip your pretzels like a Swiss fondue, and thank me later.

[Anonymous No.13327345]

>>13326844
In Germany its all lye, your little cesars friend is a coddled american fag who probably thinks its super dangerous to drink unpasteurized milk from healthy animals.

[Anonymous No.13327361]

>>13327345
they probably don't trust them at LC's enough to let them get near even mildly caustic substances

[Anonymous No.13327396]

>>13326291
What do you mean exactly? Probably a germam question but yeah, we like preciseness.

I was born in Munich and now live a little further up South East of Munich, about 15 minutes of driving on the good ol Autobahn to get to the actual city.

Munich is booming and that honestly sucks, it attracts nouveau riche trash and generally doesnt really serve the actual population of the city. Bavaria has lots of rainy days and pretty shitty weather but the spring and summer are nice, it doesnt snow much here anymore due to climate change, and when it does, its super heavy and actually dangerous.
The Oktoberfest is actually really important to lots of people, I dong care about it at all, I dont drink and hate seeing people "enjoying" themselves like that, call me a faggot, I just prefer actually doing something on my own as opposed to partying.
All the money that is now in the city means that apartments are really expensive, its more or less also impossible to find anything, the shortage of living space is horrendous while some cities in eastern Germany are completely dead in a few years.

Munich has kept alive some good traditions but theyre slowly eroding away as they basically become tourist traps for rich chinks, and lose their soul in the process.
Its a very young city but at the same time it feels very old, one common problem you'll come across is that its too crowded. Its not supposed to be New York, it was a quaint little southern german capital city, but it really changed a ton in the last 20-30 years.

If you want anymore info and maybe more about being Bavarian as opposed to being from Munich, just tell me, I will gladly answer. The other guy from Erding is really close to Munich also, so I think I speak for him as well.

[Anonymous No.13327402]

>>13327361
I mean its dangerous if you completely mishandle the stuff, but theres a reason its used on tons of german pastries, it makes things delicious and is food safe.

[Anonymous No.13327437]

>>13325597
i'm from munich you cunt and nobody does this.

[Anonymous No.13327474]

>>13327437
Saupreiß detected.