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Cooking Birds for Thanksgiving Edition
>>13245921what in the world
>>13245921i am fucking tired of the chinese catering to american shiteverytime you see those small animated figures just know your falling for chinese propagandafuck all of you
>>13246408damn didnt know that actually impressedpretty dope
>>13245927why do perverts have to ruin everything and have to bring their sick sexual jokes to all things sacred???
>>13247407__ _________ ______?
>>13245921Was it necessary to show the carrot being inserted from three different camera angles?
>>13245921>that lemon seeddisregarded
>>13245924>>13245924Do Americans REALLY?
>>13245921> 5 POUNDS of butterDoAmericansReally???
>>13248113Do Japanese REALLY?
>>13245921Would that really cook that rice?
>>13248187Instant rice is already cooked.
>>13248113Imagine if you were a human and this happened to you.
>>13248446I don't think I'd care for it.
>>13245921W-why did they show the carrot probing from so many different angles
>>13248113>this kills the fish
>>13248113It there anything more dishonest than japanese cuisine?
>>13247549its french you nutjob
>>13245924What the fuck is the point of boiling water then adding ice to it?
>>13248446I can't imagine being human
>>13248704To dissolve the salt and sugar
>>13245921what in the god damn?
>>13248704Salt and sugar don't dissolve well in cold water. Boiling is unnecessary though.
>>13248804But they immediately add the ice, it's retarded.
>>13248804Pretty sure a substance dissolving in water is based on the waters volume and temperature. Why wait to boil all that water when you can just start with the final volume and mix it in there?
>>13245921I want to make this, but they don't sell fresh rosemary where I live. What can I replace it with?
>>13245921this is making me so mad
>>13245921holy kek i'm dying.
>>13245921>5 lbs. It's clearly not.suddenly butter turns into mashed potatoes??>peaches with rosemarydropped
>>13248841Because blood-warm/hot water is significantly more effective to dissolve salt/sugar vs cold. The ice should be added regardless because the brine should be ice cold before the bird is submerged to minimize bacteria growth during brining.
>>13249949Why is this popular? Dosen't seem like the flavors would go well with each other.
>>13249949what in the absolute fuck lmfao
>>13250055WHAT A HECKIN CUTE WOOFER GOODEST BOI! HE DESERVES ALL THE TREATS XDD
>>13248704So it doesnt start cooking the meat faggot
>>13249284Heating a solvent to dissolve salt will increase solubility, but any extra salt you dissolve due to temperature will come out of solution as temperature decreases. Adding more ice(water once it melts) just increases volume and is the reason you don't see salt floating around. That or it didn't fucking matter to begin with because why would you need enough salt to saturate the water anyways?
>>13247583Yes, because it's like peepee inserted in coochie :-)
>>13248113Want to know how i know the cooks race?
>>13250055Lol my dog is like the one that won't go near it. If her ball ends up bouncing into a box or behind something that she can still get behind she'll beg someone to get it for her. She's just well behaved enough to realize she shouldn't be messing with anything, but stupid enough not to realize she can reach it.
>>13245921>stuffing the bird with potato/any non-aromatic
>>13250115I would think that lukewarm water would be perfectly fine. I've made brines before and don't recall worrying about heating the water. Salt and sugar will dissolve easily given the volume of water and use table salt instead of coarse salt obviously.
>>13250030good lord this gives me such a raging boner, pure wife material
Perhaps a tasty fall beverage?
>>13250437Why club soda instead of water if the ratio is so low and dumped in destroying the small amount of carbonation?
>>13250449That's the recipe, follow it or leave.
>>13250466I'm moving to Georgia soon. Is this what I'm in for? All of my in-laws consider my cooking to be really "healthy", but it's just normal fucking food to me.
>>13250449Club soda has salts and shit in it. If it was just about carbonation they would use seltzer
>>13248113it look tastee
>>13250146Is it the ogre like fingernails?
>>13250478Yup, Just bowls full of diabetes.
>>13250466Sugary trash.>>13250478Georgia has been completely reconstructed, so you're probably in for whatever's on sale at the big box store.
>>13249578Based as fuck. But how does he get out?
>>13251066That kinda turns my stomach.
>>13250912>Easy to eat omelettesExcuse me but is eating an omelette such a difficult task it needed fixing?
>>13251066>poking and fucking around with the meat while its fryinggee i love squashing all the juices out for some dry ass burgers
>>13250912See how the soy boy consumes two egg penises at once
>>13251143The eggs know better than to stand in his way.
>>13248815They do that because you don't want to add meat to a boiling brine. The ice plus the boiling water drops the temperature so the brine doesn't cook the turkey.
>>13250449If they were worried about carbonation you would top the drink off with it rather then add to the overall mixture.
>>13250170Right? That potato fucked me up. Completely useless. Put a whole lemon in there instead.
>>13248113God I wish that were me.
>>13247572>turkey is sacredt. burger
>>13251146This is really upsetting
>>13251146it started good, i don't know what kind of bread that was but the moment it was shown everything started to look like shit
>>13251066Non-Americans can't make good burgers. It is literally impossible.
>>13246408This probably also shatters the bones making it a nightmare to eat/prep
>>13247572>turkey butter and pumpkin pie are sacred>vaginas are disgusting and pervertedYep, thats an all american incel
>>13246408this is really bad, it damages the skin and the structure of the entire bird, but I mean, these are amerikeks, they never could appreciate subtlety of taste and high quality anyway
>>13252422>it damages the skin and the structure of the entire birdNo it doesn't, you fucking retard. Jesus christ newfag.
>>13245921>that carrot insertionoh god that's funny, whoever made this knew exactly what they were doing there.
>>13248686no the fuck its not where did you get that retard shit from
Can we get some cooking disasters in this thread
>>13246408is he ok???
>>13251510>>13252418I bet you think you really have a point here, but I just feel sorry for you. You don't understand. You could never understand.
>>13249949>>13249998>>13250026this is why we need a wall
>>13249998Wtf is that slop?
>>13252621what the fuck were they thinking? lmao
>>13251251he's probably doing it to check if it's frozen stillit's not like it's homemade
>>13250030God drunk women are repulsive.
>>13251066I fucking hate "performance cooks".
>>13250055>a fucking dachshund and golden retriever mix
>>13245927This is my first time on this board and that webm just radicalized me. Some of you are pretty cool, dont go outside for thanksgiving this year.
>>13251146why? why? even as a joke, why?
>>13250170You absolute pleb.Stuffing any bird with potatoes means they will cook in the juices and fat and become delicious.Go back to eating Popeye's chicken sandwich, since you know so little of cooking.
>>13250912that's an egg popsicle.
>>13250912why would I eat a egg shit log?
>>13249578There he remains forever trapped until all the eggs are eaten.
>>13250437APPLES PEARS CHOPPED
Your balloon, sir.
>>13253210I wonder if it would pop if he licked it
>>13253350homosexuals can't post here.
>>13253375Then why are you posting?
>>13251066STOP FUCKING POKING THE MEAT OH FFFFF
>>13250083>Not boiling the meat.Do Americans?
>>13253640Poor deformed creature cannot even eat properly. This breed is a testament to human depravity.
>>13248815Yes, they need it hot (not boiling but whatever it works I guess) to stir everything in and get it to dissolve, which won't work well in cold water, then cold once they've done that because they don't want the bird to start cooking in the brine. This isn't rocket science.
>>13245927Its funny because there's VAGINAS!!!!! Get it??? xD
>>13253129If you want potatoes cooked in bird juice you put them underneath, and save the cavity only for things that flavor the bird you complete dipshit. Are you gonna portion out the one potato half that was inside the bird? You're a fuckin arsehole m8.
>>13253816Would you prefer the opposite?
>>13253664It is a cute abomination though
>>13250030God I want her to get really drunk and sneak into my room late at night and carefully suck my dick.
>>13252674lmao are you serious? haha
>>13253818I don't typically have only one potato on hand, you idiot.
>>13252600Are you fucking stupid? You can go to their main website and see how it started. It's French. How about you tell us why your dumb fuck brain assumed it was China?
>>13253823Semen resembling dripping sauce, hm?
>>13254051How many fucking potatoes do you cram inside the bird? Where did you learn to cook like a fucking dolt?
>>13251489>tfw she's now on an anti-vegan crusadehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPghUYfh4gE
>>13248446Imagine if you weren't a giant faggot
>>13254217Absolutely no charisma at all. I don't know why people ever watched him.
>>13245921wtfthat stuff got minced right when it hit the bowl
>>13248113:(whoever did that to the fish should have that happen to them
>>13249578the king has arrived
>>13250066i totally agreagous popo
>>13254303I too would love to learn that technique. It's the wrist motion isn't it?
>>13250437i would also pee in that
>>13251967>wine or brothu cant deglaze with broth fucker
>>13253210that looks not only edible, but delicious
>>13253350god if pinkey pie had hands like those i would let her in my pants any day
>>13253648What do I order to get this?
>>13247407>use a paint roller bro
>>13248171> 5 POUNDS of butterDoTHE FRENCHReally???Fixed that for you
>>13248113how can you be this cruel, fucking disgusting
>>13253570For England, James?
>>13254095You can cut them up into pieces.
>>13254217Glad this faggot is burning in hell.
>>13250478Only if you are looking for it. Georgia isn't the county fair 24/7. Sure you can find those things but you don't have to if you don't want to.
>>13252467>no it doesnt, just take my word for it, because I am from the land of the freeClassic ameritard
>>13254583>cutting one potato into piece will make more potato in bird american education
>>13246408he do the dance
>>13248446>Imagine if you were a humanno
>>13250066>maybe if i point out that people that are dumb happen to like something people will stop liking it
>>13248446I have fapped to human cooking hentai where young girls are butchered and prepared to dishes. This is nothing.
>>13253648what secret menu item is this
>>13254641Oh no, he got one person's rice in another person's rice.
>>13253640do americans really?
>>13249578there is no eggscape
>>13250026his daughter is a top tier qtwouldnt mind making him my father in law
>>13250912theres something really unsettling about this guys face
>>13254604>soychad>white wine>popular with reddit>gap teeth>square space>verified clickbaitkek
>>13248113I got to be honest those fish up close look really cool fried and balled up. They look angry and artistic, like a sculpture or something.
>>13254120she found out about nootrients and toxins hehe
>>1324592110/10 cinematography on the carrot insertion
>>13256200The first guy didn't get disqualified for killing the animal instead of horribly torturing it?
>>13245924>stand directly over pot of oil>put turkey in oil>oh fuck there was still water on it>350 degree oil engulfs me YAAASSS
>>13248539so Redditor fucksticks like you can point it out and pretend you're funny or clever for noticing.
>>13256259I'd probably give him the last bite of that dog. Crows are cool.
>>13250026This one makes me especially angry. It's the way he looks over his glasses like he's some kinda pro. I want to hurt him.
>>13248113Do Canadians really?
>>13256371Yes they do.
>>13252760This post deserves more love
>>13251066Nothing more cringe than when they try to look really fast and badass but fuck up constantly.
>>13248113What does a fish have to do to convince nips that pain and even nocioception are much more primitive abilities than they believe?
>>13254097I was hoping it would end with that oldtimer in the back slapping the back of his head and telling him to leave.
>>13254120She's on a pro-attention crusade. Always has been.Women like her a not actually about the diet or lifestyle or fandom they make videos about. They just notice someone else is getting attention because they're a vegan or a food reviewer or a game etc. and they latch on. It's pathetic.
>>13256200The Chinese are a blight.
>>13250066A while ago I met a woman, a grown woman, who actually said "boop the snoot" aloud when she petted my dog.It's bad enough when people write like that online but hearing her say it IRL really fucking got to me.I didn't set the dog on her, but I was thinking about it.>>13254726It's another case of confusing the thing with the fanbase.You can like bacon while still wanting to punch people who "meme" about it for example.Other examples would be Rick & Morty and The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Decent enough show and book but the fans are insufferable shits.
>>13251146This looks like something you'd see Master Shake watching
>>13256550I don't know how to explain it, but you are 100% correct
>>13256365The flawless incorporation of the lady who just needed a napkin, though.Good work.
>>13250030Holy shit I used to love storage wars
>>13254043it means ur mixing two things that arent meant to be together - hence perversion
>>13245921>3 kg of Buttermurica
>>13253580This video was reasonable up until that point.
>>13254115Based Diogenes poster
>>13250026Do Central Americans Really Do This?
>>13256791More like 2.25 kgA pound is a little less than half a kg.>>13256812
>>13256866man how do you resist killing that little nigga
>>13256866Manlets, when will they learn?
>>13245921K E KEK
>>13254405>>13247407OMG!!! talk about yum.
>>13256880>niggaWhy do ""people"" type like this?
>>13250437>putting the tap that highshiggy
>>13253350The style of this video reminds me of that faggot who wears the giant white lego head.
>>13253350so no egg shells, right?
>>13256200chinese are weird
How low is the heat that eggs are not burning?
>>13257400you can also mix the white egg until it foams to make your pancakes fluffier
>>13257409>>13257406This is Mexico or somewhere in south america isnt it
>>13257421maybe i have to find out where exactly they prepare such thing, the condiment they put at first still makes me wonder what it could be
>>13256866Where the feathers?
>>13257421>Cheap white bread>Cheap hot dogs>Mayo>White onions>Corn >Tomato>Sour creamSounds about right.
>>13248113>failing at ikejime this badly
>>13250466just look at all of that fucking glucose.
>>13248567>anything more dishonest
>>13249949jesus what the fuck
>>13257537Holy shit that is hot
>>13248446>imagine if you were a humanfucking fishposters, leave my board
>>13253067what was even the point?
>>13253350the colours of the frostings are fucking atrocious mixed together
>>13245921This is culinary terrorism
>>13256629wtf is this
>>13249998I want to cum on that girl's face so bad bros
>>13257937So no head?
>>13250146Is it the cruelty?
>>13256391Do AMREICANS RAELLY
>>13254405>none of the cheese is sticking to burger towerHeh
>>13252707They were thinking this is how cremation works
>>13257400>sped up>no instructionThe french omelette in this video conveys no important information for making the omelette turn out that way. It looks like someone making an american omelette and just cooking it for less time, Bad video. Dunno about the other recipes because the french omelette annoyed me.
>>13257807I DFUCKIN KNEW IT WAS KAY THE ENTIRE TIME I WAS WATCHING AND THEN HER STUPID FACE POPS UP AT THE END
>>13257925This entire video feels like one big troll.
>>13257421>>13257785The condiment is probably farofa.
>>13257406Stop it, he's already dead![adds the "sauces"]
>>13258525>picks up trashgob bless
>>13254252yeah why isn't he staring into the camera making a surprised soy face with every bite... makes no sense
>>13253350I was about to be annoyed until I saw the "adult supervision recommended". Obviously this shit is for girls 6-12 years old or something. There's really nothing wrong with that.Kids like stupid shit, nothing new.
>>13254604That's not what BD cum lube looks like
>>13257812what the fuckis it really so hard to take a knife and stab it in the head so it wont sufferwhats the deal with chinese doing shit like this
>>13259935unironically its because some regions believe if the animal suffers, it tastes better. in reality that actually makes the meat worse. not a joke.
>>13253640what ac cutie
>>13257937That is not very sanitary
Glad there are at least some new webms for once. So I'll give you guys another new one. I'm up to 43 that I've made.
>>13254449That's more believable than if Americans really
Mods can't ban since it does not show his penis.
>>13254120Wow she looks so healthy and beautiful now.
>>13245921I kept thinking OP's video was an ironic joke recipe and waited for the punchline until the bed of rice and veggies was introduced. Now I want to try it.
>>13260598$100 for a meal served where the staff doesn't know how to set the table.
>>13252422>>13254668not that guy but yeah you don't know anything stupid. I've used these before and it looks the same as any other chicken. do you think they treat it so nicely at the fucking factory?
>>13254668Should we just take your word for it, instead?
>>13259420That's what tipped you off? Not the fact that the cupcakes are being made by a My Little Pony character?
>>13260829What? Those are human hands.
>>13257392>lady eats it off the dirty metal right away
>>13256378i knew it! so pineapple on pizza people are freaks
>>13248446DAY OF THE HOOK WHEN
>>13249949Orange man actually is bad, but holy shit do we need that wall.
No webm but posting a classichttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-e5gTx1fVU4
>>13256545this hog is NUGGIN
>>13257484If I remember the story right, that bird was a rescue and it had been very sick/stressed. It lost all its feathers and they don't grow back. Last I heard it was happy and healthy.
>>13250485club soda has negligible minerals, unless you get carbonated mineral water. Might as well shake some lite salt in or something.
>>13261091What did he mean by this?
>>13259935yeah brah like just stab the brain through the skull, like what's the problem
>>13250168Sounds like your dog trained you to fetch his toys
>>13261263She just knows that she shouldn't mess with things that she's not explicitly allowed to and is an extremely low IQ English Bulldog. She gets confused as to how to get out of a large pen when the door is open but the thing she wants to get to is on the opposite side from the door. She like an extremely docile, extra retarded nigger that's actually cute and nice to be around.
>>13251251Bait? That's a boomer meme the juices will not be all squeezed out. Just stop over cooking your meat.
>>13257812Fucking chinks. Hope they get nuked.
>>13257846They're not exactly people. They're closer to hive insects than the rest of us.
>>13253648someone should loop this more perfectly so it never ends
>>13261289It does and you are wrong. You don't touch it and only flip it once.
>>13261361Listen gramps, this has been disproven for a decade. It's such mainstream knowledge that you're not "squeezing the juices out" that there was even a fuckin mythbusters about it or some shit.
>>13259985I've always wondered why they thought that. Dad was a hunter and told me many times the faster the kill the better because the adrenaline they release does something with the meat somehow
>>13260739Kek I missed that
>>13261495Tenderizes it. White people prefer their meat tougher for some reason.
>>13261511https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.atlasobscura.com/articles/why-scared-animals-taste-worse.ampYou got it backward
>>13252621"Yall ready for the Cremated Chicken?"
>>13245921Now do the one where the retarded bitch is smashing her spoon for cereal.
>>13256575even dogs react to gore
>>13255352He's also a kike
>>13261511Adrenalin release/ stress does the opposite what are you talking about
>>13261207if they can saw it into steaks then i dont see the issue with taking a really sharp stick to pierce its skull and kill itor heartor literally anything to not make it sufferbut of course its chinks and they have their values backwards from the rest of the world
>>13253640this doggo is definately one of the good guys :)
>>13262379But that's how I eat? What's wrong? He probably washes his hands when he's done if that's what upsets you...
>>13262399Why do bugpeople prefer tortured animals over quickly killed animals? Actually curious.
>>13257916>>13257980No, its cheese dummies
>>13261480most hunters wont pick up their trash or spent rounds but this real niggah does
>>13262664something something, alive taste better something chinesy mumbo jumbo belief
>>13260527what are you, gay?
>>13262379if this is a cute girl instead then it becomes endearing
>>13254217blessing to this earth, rip
>>13261397Listen child, You can tell the fucking difference. Test it yourself, press and poke the fuck out of one patty and leave the other alone and only flip it once. One will be juicy and the other will be dry. They didn't bust shit.
>>13262664Did you not see him stun it? If you don't have any experience in a kitchen then you shouldn't speak like you do.
>>13262664Also that is a Fugu fish, If it is not prepared fresh then all kinds of contamination problems arise.