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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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13224521 No.13224521[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

>*A portly fellow in a flame shirt waddles to the counter of a Starbucks*
>"What would you like sir?"
>*The atheist squints around the coffee bar, his hands at the sides of his khaki shorts like he had two holsters. With one hand he expertly pulls out his wallet and with the other, he brings the tip of his hat down before placing his order*
>"Coffee. Black."
>*A hush falls over the patrons and staff. Women gush in their panties as whispers from men can't believe what's transpiring. The barista looks like he's about to faint, his grip on the cup furiously shaking as he slides it over the counter to our hero. If this order is taking place in the ghetto, several black people go DAAAAAAAAAAAMN*
>*The cheetoh avenger slaps down a sticky five and a quarter with his hamhock fist before mumbling to no one that they should "keep the change", knowing he's a far more euphoric human being than people that put sugar or milk in their coffee*

Don't worry dauntless fans of this sodium-hearted man of action, he'll be back in next weeks tantalizing issue, "I'll Have EVERYTHING With Bacon..."

>> No.13224534

>>13224521
This is why you don't have friends

>> No.13224540

I've always felt embarrassed immediately clarifying that I want black coffee, but sometime you have to do it. Your post is very sad though, obsessed really

>> No.13224545

>>13224521
Stop repeating this. Hurry up and bring out the next tantalising issue you cunt.

>> No.13224568

>>13224545
When I wrote it, bacon was in - I don’t want to address a fad

>> No.13224605

>>13224521
Post your wrist, lardass faggot. I want to laugh at your weight.

>> No.13224623
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13224623

>>13224540
Being dickered about someone ordering something is sad. I can't tell if they want to win a retard race or not.

>> No.13224796
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13224796

>>13224521
> "Black coffee please"
> "Room for cream?"

>> No.13224808

>>13224623
How is it possible to get drunk over something like that?

>> No.13224813

i've had more people comment "you're drinking it black???" than i can count so i guess the alpha stereotype is true

>> No.13224824

Americano > black espresso >>>>> black drip coffee
Also you can stop reposting this shitty thread now

>> No.13224834

>>13224813
This. Otherwise OP wouldn't be so butthurt.

>> No.13224924
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13224924

Is this like a Starbucks only type of thing? Everytime I go to a place like Waffle House, Denny's, or a local diner they already bring it black.
>"What would you like to drink?"
>"Coffee"
>"Alright I'll be right back with that"
>brings black coffee with optional cream and sugar

>> No.13224934

>be op
>taste buds destroyed by years of pure sugary food
>just turned 13 and tries his first coffee
>spits it out, tells himself everyone must hate it and is just pretending, then proceeds to write his fan fiction

>> No.13225287

>>13224934
Cry about it