What a Fedora Imagines When he Orders Black Coffee

[Anonymous No.13214419]

>*A portly fellow in a flame shirt waddles to the counter of a Starbucks*
>"What would you like sir?"
>*The atheist squints around the coffee bar, his hands at the sides of his khaki shorts like he had two holsters. With one hand he expertly pulls out his wallet and with the other, he brings the tip of his hat down before placing his order*
>"Coffee. Black."
>*A hush falls over the patrons and staff. Women gush in their panties as whispers from men can't believe what's transpiring. The barista looks like he's about to faint, his grip on the cup furiously shaking as he slides it over the counter to our hero. If this order is taking place in the ghetto, several black people go DAAAAAAAAAAAMN*
>*The cheetoh avenger slaps down a sticky five and a quarter with his hamhock fist before mumbling to no one that they should "keep the change", knowing he's a far more euphoric human being than people that put sugar or milk in their coffee*

Don't worry dauntless fans of this sodium-hearted man of action, he'll be back in next weeks tantalizing issue, "I'll Have EVERYTHING With Bacon..."

[Anonymous No.13214423]

>>13214419
>He cares about how other people order and drink their coffee
Fucking cringe

[Anonymous No.13214427]

>>13214419
Why doesn't the tantalizing next issue ever come out?

[Anonymous No.13214431]

>>13214419
Jesus, you truly are obsessed, fat fuck. Did you run out of Oreo milkshakes?

[Anonymous No.13214458]

>>13214431
Takes a fat fuck to know a fat fuck, eh?

[Anonymous No.13214467]

>>13214419
Imagine being this insecure.

[Anonymous No.13214480]

>>13214419
>People who don't want everything with sugar are like lepers to my kind!
I guess it would upset an American.

[Anonymous No.13214482]

It's simply retarded people drinking cofee besides black with or without sugar. Also, I never met anyone who never drinks either that way or just with milk. why americans have to destroy everything? it isn't even supposed to be a meme

[Anonymous No.13214481]

>>13214419
>Ordering coffee at Starbucks at all
Only a retard or a sadist would do that in the first place.

[Anonymous No.13214493]

>>13214482
>unintelligible word salad
>obsessed with americunts
Every fucking time.

[Anonymous No.13214495]

>>13214482
Im sorry you've never had a decent cup of coffee, Europoor. Good coffee doesn't need milk or sugar. If yours does it's because it's shit. Buy better beans and get a chemex.

[Anonymous No.13214553]

I feel like we've really exhausted the entertainment potential of this meme. We should probably try to find something else to accuse fedoras of doing. I feel like fries with mayo has potential. Maybe try to drive a wedge between people along the lemon/lime axis. Swarthy nonwhites use limes, true aryan patricians use lemons, something like that

[Anonymous No.13214555]

>>13214419
Who hurt you, OP?

[Anonymous No.13214562]

Yeah a black coffee from Starbucks would taste like shit with their whole "burnt on purpose" roast trademark.

[Anonymous No.13214565]

>>13214553
but... I'm white, and I use lime way more than lemon!

[Anonymous No.13214571]

>>13214565
Nigger.

[Anonymous No.13214581]

I like it with like 1 sugar packet, just a lil sweet
don't like it with creamer/milk

[Anonymous No.13214585]

>>13214423
This. Holy shit it must suck to be OP.

[Anonymous No.13214587]

What a normal person imagines when he orders black coffee: "The coffee will taste good."

How a normal person reacts when drinking the black coffee he ordered: "This is good coffee."

[Anonymous No.13214590]

I like coffee with no sugar. A bit of sugar. Or practically a coffee sugar syrup. They are all a different kind of nice.

[Anonymous No.13214601]

I like lattes with heavy cream and a butter pat mixed in.

[Anonymous No.13214614]

If you have to mask the flavor of coffee to injest it, you don't like coffee and should go back to your juice box.

[Anonymous No.13214622]

>>13214419
Havent seen this pasta in a while, damn op. You've even got people falling for it.

[Anonymous No.13214681]

>>13214419
What is it about beer and coffee that makes people seethe this much?

[Anonymous No.13214691]

>>13214681
It's a welcome break from chili and steak.

[Anonymous No.13214737]

for me it's the humble flat white

[Anonymous No.13214766]

>>13214614
If you have to mask the flavor and texture with french fries, you're clearly not a true ketchup fan, and you should go back to my balls.

[Anonymous No.13214811]

>>13214423
this. Imagine having such a small dick you think you're better than others because of how you like your coffee

[Anonymous No.13215229]

>>13214419
Is... is that Robb Alvey on the bottom left?

[Anonymous No.13215417]

>>13214419
Woah.... Atheism btfo
After reading that devastating takedown, I am now a Christ Missile.

[Anonymous No.13215426]

>>13214419
>lookkkk I posted people I dislike THIS IS YOU because THIS IS YOU
You never outgrew high school, how sad.

[Anonymous No.13215444]

>>13214562
nice reddit meme
They usually offer more than one roast/blend, and even their espresso is lighter than most French cafes.

[Anonymous No.13215450]

>>13214423
kinda like every person who drinks black coffee?

[Anonymous No.13215453]

>>13214419
I’m chuckling to myself like a crackhead on the train now. Thank you, OP.

[Anonymous No.13215470]

>>13215453
Careful not to run out of breath, fattie.

[Anonymous No.13215489]

*BREATHES OUT*

[Anonymous No.13215576]

Good coffee is good whether it's black or regular, shit coffee needs cream and sugar to be tolerable