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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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13163644 No.13163644 [Reply] [Original]

GETTING PRETTY FUCKING TIRED OF HAGGARD OLD BITCHES COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO COOK A FUCKING TURKEY DINNER. IT'S NOT THAT FUCKING HARD YOU OLD BITCH. YOU JUST SUCK AT EVERYTHING.

>> No.13163656

Brine and glaze, your bird will amaze. Just bung it in cold, despair will unfold.

>> No.13163673

>>13163644
protip just slather it in mayonaisse set it and forget it

>> No.13163690

>>13163656
Ahem, excuse me, it's galze, you uncultured swine.

>> No.13163702
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13163702

>>13163690
Hold on, let me just write that down for future reference.

>> No.13163707

>>13163644
Cooking a turkey and sides is easy, OP. Dealing with personalities is hard.

>> No.13164360

>>13163644
Thanksgiving dinner was never about food. It was about vying for vaginal supremacy. There is a female hierarchy, a matriarchy within every family. In some families people don't really give a shit. In others, it is really brutal. Women are ridiculously cruel to each other sometimes. Underlying all of this is that the most competitive ones are usually some of the most generally useless people in the family. This is why they make such a huge deal about telling you how difficult it is (even though it isn't). They only get a few times a year to show everyone they're important or needed. That's why men tend to watch football all day. Only a retard would step into the middle of a female warzone.

>> No.13164367

Mom said she was just gonna buy one at Boston Market. I'm sure it's an absurd waste of money and we can just buy a fucking turkey and follow a 5-star recipe that includes doing something to the turkey other than just defrosting it and sticking it in an oven, but her "friend told her it was amazing" so they must cast some kind of spell on it so that it's not bland or dry.

>> No.13164368

>>13163690
You degenerate.

>> No.13164370

>>13163644
I basically started cooking my family's xmas dinner because my mum complained about it so much that I just wanted her to shut the fuck up. You gotta be a bit organised and be on top of your prep but there's nothing difficult about it.

>> No.13164374

>>13164370
There's nothing about cooking that's daunting in general, even a Thanksgiving dinner. You're right all it takes is an attention span and some focus but some people are so insecure and scatterbrained that they can't figure out how to follow a set of simple instructions. I noticed that people who write recipes don't follow any particular format and sometimes are functionally illiterate too, and my friend lives with someone who orders stupid shit to be delivered to the house and blows tons of money, so I decided to stockpile as many recipes that seem justified to be put into a Google drive cookbook and rewrite them so that it is almost impossible to misread and instructs the reader to do things in a sensible order and minimize clean-up afterward. No one gives a shit and they still order delivery but I feel accomplished and I'm putting the book together just for myself, at the very least.

>> No.13164390

>>13163644
It is hard though. First timers might not have the required equipment. Also turkey isn't that great. Thanksgiving dishes are all packed full of carbs and no one plays football because no one can play football. My mom would do it every year and i could tell she particularly found Thanksgiving hard because of the stupid turkey and she wanted it to be good and that's the only way our family was happy. Did i say turkey isn't that good

>> No.13164402
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13164402

>>13164374
Would this drive setup be something you're willing to share?

>> No.13164410
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13164410

>>13164402
Mom told me not to talk to strangers

>> No.13164429

Anyone who doesn't like dealing with their family should get into being the cook for big days like this. It's the best excuse you could ever ask for to attend the day but still be able to hide in the kitchen and not socialize at all.

>> No.13164475
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13164475

>>13164410
Pity.

>> No.13164497

It's because they don't really cook for the rest of the year and have no idea of what to do on the one day where they're expected to cook.

>> No.13164502
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13164502

thread reminded me its take home school cafeteria turkey meal season