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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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13122491 No.13122491[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

You've been contracted to cater a wedding for a lovely artsy couple. Being young and artistically inclined, they cannot afford to pay you more than $400.

Your job is to provide an appetizer, main course, dessert, and assorted fingerfoods for 30 people. What do you serve?

>> No.13122502

>>13122491
app: nut-studded cheese balls
main: hot dogs
dessert: chocolate covered bananas

>> No.13122506
File: 134 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault (19).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13122506

Order about ten - 20 piece McNugget meals with extra sauces. Pocket the profits and then rub my hands together while cackling in a menacing way.

>> No.13122507

Appetizer: mozzarella sticks
Main course: hamburgers & hot dogs
Dessert: Klondike bars

>> No.13122510

>>13122491
Cute girl. What's her name?

>> No.13122516

>>13122491
Sorry but why would you assume I’m in the catering business?
This thread doesn’t make much sense I’m afraid, anon.

>> No.13122517

>>13122510
His name is Bailey now.

>> No.13122531

>>13122491
Imagine going to seminary and then your first act as a priest is to (unknowingly) marry two gay men in Unholy Matrimony.

>> No.13122541
File: 746 KB, 660x640, 1570923154975.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13122541

>>13122510
Leave this site before you fall into a pit of depravity.

>> No.13122745

>>13122510
Agree, but which one is the girl, they're both cute.

>> No.13122837

Kill yourselves, trannies. Nobody wants to look at stinky trannies, it's actually causing LGBT acceptance rates to go down.

Trans visibility is killing trannies.

>> No.13122901
File: 96 KB, 649x550, soylent.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13122901

>>13122491
app: soylent bridge
main course: soylent original
dessert: soylent cacao
assorted finger foods: soylent squared

>> No.13124502

>>13122491
Chicken McNuggets to start with, Mcdouble cheeseburgers for the main, McApple pies for dessert and for finger food a bucket of KFC hot wings with a variety of dips

>> No.13124504

>>13122837
Ella Hollywood can get it doe

>> No.13124513

>>13122837
In the 1980s trannies were considered biologically cursed and homosexuals were considered psychologically weak. In 2019 most people take the opposite view. It's all cultural. In reality all humans are a bizarre glitch that will be exterminated within 20 years. Global warming is extradimensional pest control.

>> No.13124593

>>13122491
App: 5 Dozen boiled eggs - $5
Main: 48 packs of Maruchan boiled in one large pot - $7
Finger Foods - 5 big bags of generic cheez balls/popcorn from Dollar Tree - $5
Dessert - Five big packs of cookies from Dollar Tree - $5

Total - $22
Profit - $378

>> No.13124759

>>13122837
Bailey gives me comfy feels because it was always just about fapping and not politics.

>> No.13124771

>>13122491
why does this look like it was taken in the 80s?

>> No.13124776
File: 39 KB, 480x640, 1507208285129.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13124776

>>13124759

>> No.13124777

>>13122491
>take picture
>print it out
>take a picture of it with your iphone
>apply filter

>> No.13124782

I wouldn't do it,not worth my time

>> No.13124788

>>13122491
me on the left

>> No.13124791
File: 31 KB, 474x266, Matt_Dillon-Gunsmoke-02.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13124791

>>13122491
If you have some good friends and it's your first marriage then nobody is going to charge you, plus if you have a Federal Marshal such as Matt Dillon on your side then no bandits will try to run away with that chick. Just make sure to be honest, even if it's goofy or dorky sounding honesty really is the best policy.

>> No.13124800
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13124800

>>13122491
I would reserve the right not to cater to customers with lifestyle choices I do not agree with. This would be such a case. I would not cater to a degenerate and mentally ill tranny and his enablers.

>> No.13124806

>>13122491
>>13124800
I reserve the right to say, have some fun and cheers!

>> No.13124825
File: 597 KB, 1200x798, slide_438604_5764532_free.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13124825

>>13122491
>artsy
oh yeah they'll eat this shit right up..

>> No.13124830

>>13124806
Sorry for belonging to the 99.9% of people that prefer not to ingest feces, engange in pedophile activities and whatever else you psychos come up with.

>> No.13124831

>>13122491
13 dollars a person for 4 courses worth of ingredients and presumably around 8-12 hours of my time. Fuck that shit.

>> No.13124833

>>13122491
I need more information than "artistically inclined". I need a date, location, and wedding theme.
But $400 is plenty.

>> No.13124836

>>13124830
You're looking too much into something.
It's just two people having some fun, so what?
http://www.otr.net/?p=guns
http://www.otr.net/r/guns/5.ram
(Billy The Kid)

>> No.13124838

>>13124831
If you don't see this as easy money you're a shit cook.

>> No.13124840

>>13122491
>you will never be passable enough for a cis looking white person to want to marry you

why even live

>> No.13124843

>>13124838
Lol even if the whole 400 were profit it wouldnt be anything special.

>> No.13124847

>>13124843
What are you mr. spectacular?

>> No.13124855

>>13124847
no I'm pretty sure he just did the math

unless you're doing a full on scam here you've basically doing charity work, and if you have staff to pay you'll be making even less.

>> No.13124857

>>13122491
I serve them with a much higher estimate. If they want $13 per person, they can order from Maccas.

>> No.13124858

>>13124855
$400 is cool, when I was a lad I would have done great stuff with that, I just wished that a certain girl and I eloped, then our families wouldn't have had to be involved. I love my family but sometimes it should be a private issue between the lady and myself. 'nuff said.

>> No.13124862

>>13124858
You won't be keeping even $50 of that $400, if you're to make edible appetizers, mains, desserts, and snacks for 30.

>> No.13124870

>>13124858
you're not getting 400, you're getting whatevers left out of the 400

>> No.13124883

>>13124843
Lets say you keep 200, which is probably not even realistic and you work about 10 hours. $20 per hour, that's only twice the minimum wage in most states.
It's fine, but it's not some super rare and great opportunity.

>> No.13124906

>>13122531
>gay
anon...

>> No.13124927

like honestly the best you could probably do without losing money yourself is, 5-6 cheap store bought pies cut into 8, pulled pork, baked potatoes, maybe even some of those little tortilla pinwheels to pretend you cared
and all this shits going on paper plates, no table clothes with self-serve solo cups of watered down koolaid

if op was asking because of their own budget for a wedding i'd say they should just do it as a potluck, you'd get far better quality food from other people showing off their wealth and skill

>> No.13124964

>>13124862
And that's how we know you're a shit cook

>> No.13124969

>>13122491
i think a hummus would be cheap to make. Chick peas are dirt cheap. Serve it with bread and wa la

>> No.13124973

>>13124862
>>13124870
I don't look at it that way. If you only look at marriage as some profit and loss statement then you're sad, very sad indeed.

>> No.13124999
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13124999

>>13124927
>5-6 cheap store bought pies cut into 8
You make two huge ass crumbles in disposable aluminum baking dishes. Supplement with single serve ice cream cups. Cheap store bought pies are not fancy enough for a wedding.

>> No.13125002

>>13124973
You clearly have no fucking idea what is involved in catering, little less catering a wedding
but you're welcome to go ahead and take on a job where you are actually paying them just for the honor of cleaning up after their mess

>> No.13125016

>>13125002
Perhaps you're right, I prefer paying for it and being done with it, bang bang lulu, I pay you people to deal with the details.

>> No.13125017

>>13124999
that is a good seeming option as well but I was trying to factor in labour as well since on this budget you can't afford any helpers
but I suppose with the crumble though you could make it ahead of time chill them, and warm them in the oven during the main meal
I wouldn't say crumbles any fancier than the store bought pies though, and with the pies guests have multiple options
basically just running it like a low end family reunion either way

>> No.13125029

>>13125002
Not all of us are consigned to $400 for a wedding, that's crackhead level, if $400 is all someone has for a wedding then they shouldn't get marrried in the first place or have kids.

>> No.13125036

>>13125017
The difference is you cook the crumble yourself and have control of its consistency and crispiness. Even with a reheat this will come through. Guests would instantly know the difference between a well made catered crumble and a store bought pie like a Marie Callenders pie.

Crumble also gives you the option of utilizing cheap seasonal fruit you might have access to. Tell the bride you need blackberries and watch her nieces or cousins bring in gallons of them.

>> No.13125041

bang bang lulu -John Valby
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VmP8W3X49M

>> No.13125042

>>13125029
It's all in the cook.

>> No.13125046

>>13125042
I know but who wants to deal with that when dealing with a large wedding? It's more fun to chill out and relax.

>> No.13125050

>>13125042
Especially a large Catholic wedding that goes on for 3 to 4 hours. Holy moly those go on forever.

>> No.13125051

>>13125046
30 people is not a large wedding

>> No.13125055

>>13125051
Yeah that's easy but a few hundred is a different story.

>> No.13125061

>>13125050
Do you know what's worse than being a caterer who makes $200 from working a long day?
Being a caterer who doesn't make any money at all because no one hired them.

Some days you take what you get, especially if you are just starting out. Or if you've fallen upon hard times.

>> No.13125062

>>13124999
>Cheap store bought pies are not fancy enough for a wedding.
For $13/head you don't get to complain about something "not being fancy enough".

>> No.13125069

>>13125062
woman up, they are going to do it anyway

>> No.13125071

>>13125061
It's like that with computer programming, sometimes just hunker down and write and get what you can. It is what it is.

>> No.13125085

>>13125062
All that said I do wish I had a girl that was willing to marry me, that might be fun, very fun indeed.
One that's not a manipulative cunt, finding one that's not that is the real trick.
The Cure - Pictures of You [Extended Version]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SG9CXd00QHQ