/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.13090036]

Check out my awesome Chuck Norris™ approved certified badass chili

[Anonymous No.13090050]

why would anyone think it was a good idea to make that
i think i have cancer now

[Anonymous No.13090054]

>mfw it’s chili season

[Anonymous No.13090206]

>basil

i bet he saw 'oregano' on an ingredients list and didn't have any, so he just used the other green thing you put in spaghetti sauce.

[Anonymous No.13090391]

>>13090036
Not this shit again

[Anonymous No.13090461]

>>13090036
>green beans
>corn
>flour
>basil
>two types of sugar

[Anonymous No.13090479]

>>13090036
this is the cringiest thing i have ever seen on this website and thats really saying something, reddit is this way, www.reddit.com

[Anonymous No.13090515]

>Packet of chili seasoning? NO
>Bunch of canned veggies n beans? Yes

[Anonymous No.13090869]

>>13090050
Hi newfriend. Back when this image was made we were allowed to have a good time on the internet instead of being mean cynical cunts all the time. I suggest you lurk more before posting any more dump ass shit like this.

[Anonymous No.13090900]

>>13090036
>throws out the pre mixed spice packet, and then mixes bunch of shitty spices from the same brand
Why

[Anonymous No.13090905]

>>13090036
I was a happier anon back when this image was new

Green beans in chili is super nasty though

[Anonymous No.13090929]

>>13090869
sorry retard, this was still cringe even in 2011

[Anonymous No.13090937]

>>13090929
The only cringe here is your sad existance.

[Anonymous No.13090943]

>>13090937
crange

[Ranch Dressing No.13090945]

I don't want you posting anything like that ever again.

[Anonymous No.13090948]

>>13090869
cringe

[Anonymous No.13092230]

>>13090869
>>13090937
crunge

[Anonymous No.13092234]

>>13090937
niggers tongue my anus

[Anonymous No.13092252]

>>13090479
It's literally from reddit. Old as fuck.

[Anonymous No.13092340]

>>13090869
For real fucking kill yourself even back then it was cringe, it isn't even about "lol we're having fun, isn't this funny lol, epic chuck Norris troll face caturday, XD XD XD, 4chan is for anonymoose hackers lolcopter bullshit, this diatribe is fucking repugnant dear god am I thankful that we're out of that faggetty fucking era and we can look back and cringe, cringe at the retards like yourself who thought it was cool because that was the status quo. Fuck you just fuck you straight in your dick

[Anonymous No.13092371]

>>13090869
This was ridiculed even on Reddit for how embarrassing it is.

[Anonymous No.13092465]

>>13090036
>Fallout 3
Fuck you

[Anonymous No.13092486]

>>13092371
Ah, a seasoned Reddit historian I see.

[Anonymous No.13092507]

>>13092340
>crybaby zoomie hates fun

[Anonymous No.13092523]

>>13092486
Sadly, yes. I am very well-versed in the history of Reddit.

[Anonymous No.13092668]

>>13092507
Yes, because it comes down to another -oomer meme, again fucking kill yourself you redditfag, go back to your cringe early 2010 bullshit nostalgia you putrid cunt

[Anonymous No.13092955]

Anyone who unironically uses reddit should kys

[Anonymous No.13092966]

>>13092955
Why?

[Anonymous No.13092984]

>>13092966
Seriously nigger?

[Anonymous No.13093088]

>>13090036
Ahhh its the 2007 alpha stick figure drawings.

[Anonymous No.13093102]

it was a different time

[Anonymous No.13093105]

>>13090036
You know this was made by a soy as fuck zoomer, not because of the shitty choice in vegitables and ingredients in general, but because he only used 4 tsp of chili powder. You need a minimum of 2 tbsp. Also good tip if you want to thicken your chili is to mash one can of beans instead of using flour.

[Anonymous No.13093108]

>>13090479
The joke
>Your head

[Anonymous No.13093111]

>>13090869
Fuck off. The only people who have ever not been cynical on the internet have been newfags who need to go back to meatspace. This has always been our refuge from an intolerable world and we don't need you Barney refugees shitting it up with your rainbows.

[Anonymous No.13093115]

>>13092984
Whoa, no need for racism there, Anonymous.

This is your only warning, don't make us ruin your karma

[Anonymous No.13093149]

>>13092340
Unironically better than posting an edited to hell and back skull wojak.

[Anonymous No.13093325]

>>13093111
shrekd and checkd

[Anonymous No.13093639]

>>13090869
Wow. This is the first time I hop on /ck/ in years and Its good to see another veteran here.

This is actually a pretty good cookbook,all things considered. but it doesn't take very long to memorize most of the best recipes. It focuses more on making cooking easy and fun for people who are lazy sacks of shit..

[Anonymous No.13093847]

>>13090036
That recipe is ass, let me give you a real authentic chili recipe /ck/

First assemble ingredients~!

[Anonymous No.13093852]

>>13093847
Next prep your veggies, I've sliced and diced a kilo of onions, one whole celery and half a kilo of red and half a kilo of green bell peppers.

[Anonymous No.13093859]

>>13093852
Set that to the side and start cooking off your protein. I'm using a 11 litre stock pot for this. First I start with two chorizo sausages sliced and diced and fry them in oil, I like the subtle flavour it gives the oil, I would use some bacon here but I don't eat pork.

[Anonymous No.13093867]

>>13093859
Next I fry off half a kilo of beef mince and half a kilo of kangaroo mince and set aside, it doesn't really matter what mince you use, I just get what's on special.

[Anonymous No.13093875]

>>13090036
I fucking love how in the end he ruins it with all the fucking crackers and cheese hahahahaha gets me every time.

[Anonymous No.13093877]

>>13093867
Next I fry off two kilos of chicken thighs and set aside.

[Anonymous No.13093882]

>>13093877
Protein mountain

[Anonymous No.13093890]

>>13093882
Next I turn down the heat to very low, add the prepped veggies and slowly soften them for about an hour

[Anonymous No.13093906]

>>13093890
An hour later

[Anonymous No.13093918]

>>13093906
Next I add two heads of garlic and 100 grams of anchovies in olive oil drained and rinsed

[Anonymous No.13093920]

>>13093105
Yeah its totally from a Zoomer that got stuck in 2010 via some Chrono Trigger style time portal and is somehow posting this in our current day world.

[Anonymous No.13093924]

>>13093918
Into the whizz cutting thingy

[Anonymous No.13093934]

>>13093924
Garlic and anchovies paste, thrown into the pot and stirred

[Anonymous No.13093941]

>>13093934

Next I whizz up some chilis, here are 10 habaneros and 10 thai chillis

[Anonymous No.13093947]

>>13093941
Smells like danger, added to the pot and stirred

[Anonymous No.13093948]

>>13092234
this guy gets it

[Anonymous No.13093951]

>>13093877
>>13093882
You have to be trolling to crowd the pan like that. You didn't even get any browning on the chicken. That's not fucking frying. You essentially steamed it. That's not even the right kind of pan. Jesus Christ what a tragedy of a recipe

[Anonymous No.13093958]

>>13093947
Next I'm going to whizz up the tops and bottoms of the bell peppers because waste not want not and the texture just isn't the same as their skins

[Anonymous No.13093965]

>>13093958
Whizzed, added to the pot and stirred

[Anonymous No.13093971]

>>13090036
delet this post

[Anonymous No.13093978]

>>13093965
Next I add 5 tablespoons or so of tomato paste, stir it through and let everything I just added it cook off for a bit while increasing the temp

[Anonymous No.13093982]

>>13093965
>whizzed
Hey, don't tell us every time you go to the toilet!! ROFL

[Anonymous No.13093984]

>>13093978
Next I'm going to add some pickled jalapenos and chillis juices and all and a drained and rinsed jar of fire roasted red bell peppers

[Anonymous No.13093986]

>>13093984
Added to the pot and stirred through

[Anonymous No.13093991]

>>13090036
WE DO IT LIVE SON

[Anonymous No.13093998]

>>13090036
>don’t use this mccormick spice blend
>make your own seasoning blend with mccormick spices
what the fuck

[Anonymous No.13094003]

>>13093986
Time to add back to brotein and mix it through

[Anonymous No.13094009]

>>13094003
Time to spice the bitch up, I got 50 grams of chilli powder, 30 grams of cumin powder, 15 grams of cayenne powder and about four tablespoons of oregano (420 blaze it), I usually throw in some smoked paprika but I forgot to buy some, please forgive me

[Anonymous No.13094013]

>>13093859
>I start with two chorizo sausages
>I don't eat pork

[Anonymous No.13094016]

>>13094009
Next you add 690-700 grams of passata or 2 cans of diced tomatos, I prefer passata, stir that through and then add a litre of beef stock and stir that through

[Anonymous No.13094026]

>>13094016
Bring to a boil, throw on a lid and simmer for four to eight hours, stirring every half an hour

[Anonymous No.13094029]

>>13090036
>That sort of infographic.
INSUFFICIENT.

[Anonymous No.13094032]

>>13094026
Four hour mark

[Anonymous No.13094034]

>>13094013
nibba are you going to address this er wha

[Anonymous No.13094041]

>>13094032
Now an hour or so before you want to finish you want to add your authentic texan good ol boy kidney beans to the pot, six cans rinsed and

[Anonymous No.13094048]

>>13094041
Added to the pot, I do this so they don't get too mushy

[Anonymous No.13094055]

>>13094048
6ish hours DONE, heat off, I leave it sitting out overnight to stew in it's own juices, it was still warm when I divided it up 14 hours later

[Anonymous No.13094059]

>>13094055
Nice bean soup.

[Anonymous No.13094061]

>>13094055
Divided it up into on average 480 gram servings, which gave me 20 nutritious meals

[Anonymous No.13094065]

>>13094061
That bean soup should last you a while.

[Anonymous No.13094066]

>>13094055
Not bad but personally I prefer more beans.

[Anonymous No.13094072]

>>13094041
SIX CANS
I
X

[Anonymous No.13094076]

>>13094061
wala

[Anonymous No.13094091]

>>13090036

>Throw away chili mix and mix all the same ingredients yourself

I mean I prefer doing it myself, but if I have a pack sitting around may as well use it. It's literally the same spices just portioned badly

[Anonymous No.13094101]

>>13090869
no you dumb cunt
i was around when this shit first got posted
everyone on /ck/ thought it was cringey then, everyone still thinks it's cringey now

[Anonymous No.13094112]

>>13092340
this
the fact that he's trying to equate this to caturday is just pathetic and honestly revisionist
everyone hated this smug, unfunny cunt's comic back then because there was no attempt at innocent genuine humour, it was "haha look how awesome i am at cooking aren't i so awesome and wacky you guys"

[Anonymous No.13094120]

>>13093639
>larping this hard
And no, the cookbook was mediocre at best, outright gross at worst. At least I didn't fucking pay for it and pirated it like someone with sense

[Anonymous No.13094130]

>>13093859
CHORIZO IS USUALLY A PORK SAUSAGE DUMBASS

[Anonymous No.13094153]

>>13094013
Well going by his dialect he is obviously a modern muzzie so the only thing he knows about his religion is that you can't eat bacon. He probably didn't even pray to mecca today.

[Anonymous No.13094155]

>>13094013
>>13094130

There are beef chorizo sets flying around, I dunno if he did that, I hope he did or else he's gonna have some explaining to do since his god acts like a weight watcher

[Anonymous No.13094164]

>>13094155
yeah hence the usually
like i would assume he'd specify a beef chorizo instead of having us figure that out on his own

[Anonymous No.13094201]

Or he was making a simple joke idiots

[Anonymous No.13094204]

>>13094201
We know. Doesn’t make it any less embarrassing.

[Anonymous No.13095093]

>>13094076
looks fuckin nice anon

[Anonymous No.13095113]

>>13090036
>canned beans
>canned tomatoes
>canned corn
no thank you

[Anonymous No.13095271]

>salute veggies
>Mfw Americans salute vegetables when they cook them
You guys are so fucking retarded

[Anonymous No.13095273]

>>13090036
>don't use premixed chili spices
>just mix it yourself
>and don't use any real peppers at all

[Anonymous No.13095286]

>>13094201
either way it makes him look fucking stupid

[Anonymous No.13095291]

>>13094204
>>13095286
Or maybe if you read through it you would see several jokes that obviously went over your heads.

How embarrassing for you guys

[Anonymous No.13095295]

>>13095291
right
*We're* the embarrassing ones

[Anonymous No.13095298]

>>13090036
you know, if this wasn't presented like a pg13 version of those bullshit marshmello cooking webms, this would be kino. but it is, so it isn't.

[Anonymous No.13095304]

>>13095298
i think you nailed what's so annoying about this
the sheer HAHA AREN'T I WACKY? of it all is just revolting

[Anonymous No.13096004]

DUDE SPICES

[Anonymous No.13096029]

tip: everybody thinks their chili is the shit, you and your recipe are not special.

[Anonymous No.13096181]

>>13096029
If you put beans in your "chili" it automatically is not special by default.

[Anonymous No.13096264]

>>13096181
Adding anchovies seems pretty special

[Anonymous No.13096568]

>>13090036
Cringe but i like it. Thanks drawguy

[Anonymous No.13096576]

>>13090515
canned green beans >>>>>>>>>>> fresh

[Anonymous No.13096819]

I just got rooed into a chili cookoff this week /ck/
Is there any sense in making a curry/SEA inspired chili or am i overthinking it and it should just be bottom of the barrel simple?

[Anonymous No.13096832]

LOOK AT THEIR MIDGET THUMB

[Anonymous No.13096859]

>>13090515
>$1 packet of mccormick chili seasoning? NO
>$12 worth of individual mccormick spices instead

[Anonymous No.13096868]

>>13094029
peanut butter on saltine is unironically pretty good

[Anonymous No.13096871]

>>13090036
>Molson
Ah. It all makes sense now. A FUCKING LEAF

[Anonymous No.13097891]

>>13090036
based

[Anonymous No.13099225]

>>13095271

[Anonymous No.13099256]

>>13096859
>spice bottles only contain enough product for 1 batch

[Anonymous No.13099354]

>>13094076
this is a worse chili recipe than the OP. thats saying something. aussies should stick to throwing shrimp on the barby and leave serious matters like chili to americans. chili is short for chili con carne which means in spanish BEEF with chili peppers. Ergo there should not be sausage or fucking chicken thighs in chili. also you used way too much beans. holy fuck australia sucks

[Anonymous No.13099849]

>>13096859
this guy gets it

[Anonymous No.13100105]

>>13099225
amerisharts are always finding new ways to make me laugh

[Anonymous No.13100122]

>>13099225
What’s with the arms behind their backs?

[Anonymous No.13100131]

>>13100122
Traditionally that's where you would hide your gun, but weaponry is not usually necessary in a family situation.

[Anonymous No.13100163]

>>13094055
>heat off
>overnight
>still warm 14 hours later

You dumb motherfucker.

[Anonymous No.13100290]

>>13099354
Chili was invented in the Tejano town of San Antonio and let me tell you, beef isn't required. We eat plenty of pork and chicken and all kinds of game, and they all make fine chili meats. The real problem with is the preparation is generally different depending on the meat and treating chicken the same as beef is to not properly utilize it. Also you don't serve it over fucking rice, especially basic bitch-ass white rice.

[Anonymous No.13101203]

>>13099354
You mad

>>13100290

Oh sorry serve it over mashed potato?

[Anonymous No.13101274]

>>13099354
ITS FUCKING PRAWN CUJNT

[Anonymous No.13101367]

>>13090869
It's not really that i don't like having fun, that picture was cringe when it first appeared and it still is now. the fact that you think it's ok really shows where you come from and that's really sad for you. not much fun to have in a world where people care so little (unless you're the type of person you're proud of how little you care lol) about people. you should try to learn to not care about other peoples lives. and that's what fun is

you want to be more than a troll, you also don't want to be a fool, which I'm sure is precisely why you're here, trolling, that's all! I'm not going to get into a discussion of what's good vs. bad here. I like to have conversations that leave me smiling and open minded. This forum can be frustrating at times (as with EVERY forum, but not like this), but I don't do this for the fun.

[Anonymous No.13101685]

>>13093882
I, too, love steamed chicken.

[Anonymous No.13102080]

>>13101203
chili on potatoes is amazing tho.

[Anonymous No.13102199]

>>13090036
>try to explain to coworkers that it's stupid to use individual spices instead of seasoning mix
>they say i'm wrong and adding your own lets you adjust the flavour

wtf is wrong with zoomers /ck/

[Anonymous No.13102202]

>>13102199
They're right.

[Anonymous No.13102246]

>>13090036
Oh shit. I remember when threads were dedicated to this stupid meme/stoner food shit

[Anonymous No.13102254]

>>13102246
I miss MSPaint recipes.
They were the original versions of those fucking top-down "Tasty" videos.

[Anonymous No.13102284]

>>13102254
Remember stoner comics?

[Anonymous No.13102305]

>>13102284
of course I do

[Anonymous No.13102311]

ROFL:ROFL:ROFL:ROFL
___^___ _
L __/ [] \
LOL===__ \
L \___ ___ ___]
I I
----------/

[Anonymous No.13102943]

>>13102246
This made me sick

[Anonymous No.13102955]

>>13102943
it's just a diet version of the bacon explosion calm down

[Anonymous No.13102970]

>>13102955
>bacon explosion
The fuck?

[Anonymous No.13102973]

>>13102970

[Anonymous No.13102981]

>>13090036
last step is kill yourself

[Anonymous No.13103001]

>>13102305
>widdly scuds
hah, forgot about this one. it’s cringier than I remember.

[Anonymous No.13103846]

>>13090869
Even if it wasn't unfunny garbage the recipe is ass

[Anonymous No.13104129]

>>13090054
this man is unironically based and hilarious