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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

File: 54 KB, 584x421, chamberlain_tragedy.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Anonymous Wed Oct 16 09:31:59 2019 No.13071710 [Reply] [Original]

thanksgiving with dad and his aggressively type a girlfriend
i know a farmer with good pasture raised turkeys so i offered bring and cook a turkey
>ew anon don't put salt on it that's bad for you use olive oil instead
>ANON DON'T POKE THE TURKEY WITH A THERMOMETER YOU'LL LET THE JUICES OUT AND IT WILL BE DRY
>ew what are you doing don't boil the gross neck just go buy a box of super salty chicken broth to maximize the gravy
>*constantly changes the temperature settings on the range from the simmer i left it at to a raging rolling boil or completely off*

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 09:34:32 2019 No.13071716 >>13071710 Cool blog. None of it happened though.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 09:40:33 2019 No.13071734 >>13071710 Scream "you're not my mother" at her and then dump the bouling turkey neck water on her fat ugly face.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 09:42:45 2019 No.13071741 >>13071710 Sounds like a personal issue. Did you add sage like me?

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 09:46:29 2019 No.13071753 File: 150 KB, 1280x720, 20191016_094140_compress5.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>13071716 Oh it all happened and more I can take solace in a delicious hot turkey sandwich now though

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 10:46:46 2019 No.13071957 do leafs really

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 10:51:41 2019 No.13071963 >>13071710 >ew, neck I'd kill that fucking piece of shit.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 10:52:27 2019 No.13071965 >>13071710 I know I'd be mad, but she acts exactly the way I act when my mom is cooking :^)

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 11:01:55 2019 No.13071992 >>13071965 Based mommy antagonizer.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 11:04:08 2019 No.13072004 >>13071965 Why does that mean you can’t be mad

Anonymous Wed Oct 16 11:12:23 2019 No.13072033

>>13071710
I know that feel man. I got a story sort of similar.
>Boomer great aunt almost 80
>"Anon I brought all the stuff for spaghetti, make it before your dad goes to work in an hour"
>I make my sauce from scratch and it takes a lot longer than an hour, tell her that
>"Ill do it then"
>"The trick to make your porn not stick is to put all the salt into the bottom of the pan"
>uses no oil
>pulls out two premade jars of sauce
>pours them over the meat
>breaks spaghetti in half and over cooks
>"Now that's how it's done anon"

Anonymous Wed Oct 16 11:14:12 2019 No.13072043

>>13071992
you have no idea how fucking trash my mom is at cooking anything that isn't breaded fried sardines with vinegar, like really, she cooks with hate, with "fuck this shit I wanna be done with it asap", there is no way you can cook right like that, I mean maybe if you know what you're doing but that obviously isn't the case, I can cook way better than her

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 11:15:15 2019 No.13072049 >>13072004 I'm used to be the boss not to be bossed arround, you know, that's the difference

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 11:16:22 2019 No.13072055 File: 462 KB, 660x405, _89616243_grab2banana.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>13072033 >"The trick to make your porn not stick is to

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 11:17:08 2019 No.13072058 >>13071710 Ban her from the kitchen.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 11:18:29 2019 No.13072065 File: 768 KB, 1114x824, 1570534156590.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>13072058 >the year is 2019 >woman don't even belong on the kitchen now

Anonymous Wed Oct 16 11:26:24 2019 No.13072082

OP,

I have these types of relatives. I have one or two myself. They take over and lose their fucking minds when they aren't in control. ESPECIALLY in their own house.

People like this cannot be made to see reason. She is the dominant female of her domain and you are a guest in her space. Of course she's going to be all over her kitchen and taking control over what you wanted to do.

This is a lesson learned for you, ok? From here on out, you have to take steps to do what you want to do that do not involve her. For example, cook the turkey at your own home and bring it over. This will completely avoid her flapping her bat wings and screeching about how it's done properly. If you want to spend time with your dad, invite him out of his place and away from her. Tell him you need "man time" and you just wanna hang out with him.

Also, tell your fucking father what a type A nut job he's dicking . If they're just dating, then it's not too late. You don't want his woman inheriting your shit when your dad dies. She's not going to leave you a thin dime. Run her off now while you can before he puts a ring on her finger and makes it legal.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 11:37:54 2019 No.13072128 >>13071710 >thanksgiving >october Shoo, shoo canuckastani!

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 11:46:11 2019 No.13072176 >>13071710 So that's what the dingo ate my baby meme came from.

Anonymous Wed Oct 16 11:54:07 2019 No.13072218
File: 1.41 MB, 333x200, 200.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>13072176
You must be in the wrong thread. But, a dingo did actually eat that woman's baby.
>be 80s/90s
>Australian woman's baby goes missing
>everyone thinks the mom killed baby
>mom's defense: "a dingo ate my baby!"
>mom ridiculed relentlessly
>years later (late 00s I think), authorities find child-sized bones out in the wild
>they clearly have teeth marks from a wild dog/canine
>mfw a dingo actually ate that baby

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 11:56:29 2019 No.13072227 >>13072218 I searched the filename and this was the first result. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Azaria_Chamberlain

Anonymous Wed Oct 16 12:04:10 2019 No.13072267

>>13072082
This person speaks truth. Run this woman off no matter what it takes. Otherwise, she inherits and you get nothing. She is wrecking your relationship with your father and ruining his life. Castrate him if you must. The madness must stop, now.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 12:06:07 2019 No.13072277 >>13072082 Based life advice poster.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 12:13:20 2019 No.13072324 >>13072082 Based life advice poster.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 12:13:29 2019 No.13072327 >>13072043 Oh, but I do. My mom is the exact same way except she can't even be bothered to bread anything. Wypipo chicken marinated in water has been a many of her dishes.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 12:16:47 2019 No.13072353 >>13072327 [desire to move out of mom's basement intensifies]

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 12:17:41 2019 No.13072358 >>13071734 this

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 12:17:51 2019 No.13072361 >>13071753 That looks like ass and your family sounds like shit

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 12:18:42 2019 No.13072367 >>13071753 You should have a (you) sandwich with her and your pops.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 12:19:18 2019 No.13072372 >>13072267 This happened to my dad and now he’s a male feminist and I don’t even want to be around him anyway

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 12:21:10 2019 No.13072384 >>13072372 So glad I am not from a broken home.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 12:22:09 2019 No.13072391 >>13072384 The worst kind of male feminist too, the one that is actually looking down on women as people who need to be protected and just thinks men should have to deal with it.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 12:23:08 2019 No.13072396 >>13072391 So not only is he a faggot, he's a dumb faggot?

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 12:25:18 2019 No.13072406 >>13072391 Kill him

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 12:29:46 2019 No.13072432 >>13071710 A fucking leaf.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 13:24:34 2019 No.13072736 >>13072361 wow bad taste

Anonymous Wed Oct 16 13:30:55 2019 No.13072776

>>13071710
>don't put salt on it that's bad for you use olive oil instead
how is olive oil a replacement for salt?

>ANON DON'T POKE THE TURKEY WITH A THERMOMETER YOU'LL LET THE JUICES OUT AND IT WILL BE DRY
a little bit of juice will start leaking out through the thermometer hole though, but it shouldn't make much of a difference

Anonymous Wed Oct 16 14:59:26 2019 No.13073194

>>13072776
To be fair there's no reason to salt the outside of a turkey since it will mostly just draw out moisture then drip into the pan. Where as rubbing with oil will aid in keeping that moisture locked within. Not a huge difference, but worth noting.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 15:30:23 2019 No.13073329 >>13071710 assfuck her into submission

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 15:41:32 2019 No.13073385 >>13073194 You do both, retard.

Anonymous Wed Oct 16 15:42:03 2019 No.13073388
File: 6 KB, 224x224, Ol Dirty Bastard.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>13071710
Changing temperatures on another cook's stove or oven is grounds for an immediate savage beating. I'm not even joking. When I lived with my folks, I had to ban my own mother from the entire floor of the house when I was cooking because she would do that shit. Four things you never, ever fuck with: a cook's knife, his mis-en-place, his temperatures, and the Wu Tang Clan.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 16:07:57 2019 No.13073493 File: 44 KB, 750x942, 1564213893392.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>13073388 based

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 16:24:37 2019 No.13073533 >>13071710 Shit on the dinner table to assert dominance

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 17:32:13 2019 No.13073881 File: 44 KB, 474x342, downloadfile-10.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>13072128 It's a better time for thanksgiving. American thanksgiving is to close to Christmas. I like my feasts more spread out.

Anonymous Wed Oct 16 17:41:01 2019 No.13073926

>>13072082
>>13072267
Annon:
>my dad's gf is annoying in the kitchen.
Other annons (deadly serious):
>destroy their relationship
>start posturing against her. Engage in mind games.
>SHES GOING TO STEAL YOUR ESTATE! YOUR FAMILY WEALTH IS FOREFIT

Never change guys.

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 17:48:11 2019 No.13073957 >>13073926 the worst part is where I think they're absolutely right

>>	Anonymous Wed Oct 16 23:52:28 2019 No.13075601 >>13073881 My wife is Canadian, loves to cook, and does an excellent T-Day dinner. We get 2/year. 1 in October and 1 in November. She did a turducken one year.

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 17 03:29:45 2019 No.13076127 >>13072033 That is how you make it in under an hour retard. Fucking autists gtfo

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 17 03:32:06 2019 No.13076131 File: 81 KB, 600x536, Girls.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>13072082 >man time

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 17 15:47:40 2019 No.13078376 >>13076131 That was obviously cringe, but the rest of what that fellow was saying was totally on point.

Anonymous Thu Oct 17 19:41:29 2019 No.13079509
File: 52 KB, 393x286, OSHA_grain_entrapment_illustration.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

another fun thing about my dad's gf is she likes to can food but she doesn't seem to have any clue about the canning process and just thinks you can but whatever in a jar and boil it and if it seals, it's canned

needless to say i just dump out the contents of any jar she gives me and keep the jar for myself

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 17 20:02:21 2019 No.13079629 >>13079509 This is dangerous. She will give somebody botulism.

>>	Anonymous Thu Oct 17 20:03:40 2019 No.13079638 File: 2.97 MB, 728x712, drowning in grain.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>13079509 Don't be such a pussy.

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