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/ck/ humor thread
Which part of that retarded faggotry was supposed to be humorous?
>>13055162Lighten up mate
>>13055152good post kek
>>13055167Sure. Let me "lighten up" and then end up being brainwashed into be a literal faggot cocksucker.
>>13055162That was one of the most popular threads back in the day, newfag.
>>13055152Imagine making up a story and coming Up with some lame ass shit like that
Here's my /ck/ humorOne time I made sandwichBut it was actually soup! XD
>>13055272You seem really on edge Try having sex
>>13055309I'm not married.
>>13055272fuck off poltard
>>13055313try it anyways
One time i put banana in microwave....And it EXPLODE !!!!!
>>13055403you need a better microwave
>>13055152>this totally happenedI'll give you a true Subway story>friend visits me in college>I attend UCSB and live in Isla Vista, the adjacent college town notorious for partying and Elliot Rodgers>he arrives, we go straight to some random party in some random house>within two hours we've both left with our own girl and gone to her place>I wait for the bitch to pass out then text my friend my address and go back there>he shows up the next morning looking absolutely drained>apparently the girl he hooked up with was a total freak>first she blew him under pickup truck in the middle of the street>they couldn't wait to get back to her place>he ends up passing out at her place around 4 am after she forces him to eat her sweaty unwashed ass>it's now 8 am>he falls asleep in my bed while I play some xbox in the same room>suddenly I hear him yell "What the fuck!">I look over to see him looking down his own pants in disbelief>"My pubes are shaved!">he gets out of my bed>pubes falling everywhere>suddenly his ear starts hurting>feels all plugged up>I give him a q-tip>he scoops out a wad of peanut butter than somehow got stuffed in his ear>we're confused as fuck for a while>his memory is hazy so we have no idea what the fuck that crazy bitch did to him>ok whatever, let's get some food>walk to Subway>forgot what he ordered but he told the wetback behind the counter no onions>gets his sandwich and leaves to visit his cousin>a few minutes later I get a text from him>I TOLD THAT FUCKER NO ONIONS
>>13055275Every knife my father owns ends up looking like that.
>>13055423Too long didnt read
>>13055667Subway story of my own>Saving money, living cheap>Boozing it too much tho>On way to work is a Subway>Trying to shed about 15 pounds>Get addicted to Veggie Delite>Go in one day, fat Mexican whore drops loaf on ground>I’m hungover as fuck, still wearing my sunglasses, no flinch, no reaction>This fucking cunt puts it back on the counter>I order, this bitch actually uses that dropped bread>I play along, and even tip $1>Leave a voice message at Health department>THESE NIGGERS ACTUALLY CALL ME BACK AND LAUNCH AN INVESTIGATION>Multiple violations on camera>Owner fined, workers firedFeels good man