/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.13030862]

>Buying organic plum tomatoes at the supermarket
>Put them in as regular tomatoes at the self checkout
Who here /psychopath/?

[Anonymous No.13030869]

>>13030862
Based thiefposter.

[Anonymous No.13030874]

You can always steal 1-2 items. Even if they check you you just say you forgot it or it didn't scan.

[Anonymous No.13030876]

>>13030862
nigger

[Anonymous No.13030884]

>>13030862
You're basically paying a tx if you don't

[Anonymous No.13031439]

>>13030862
Devilish

[Anonymous No.13031447]

>>13030862
They take you doing this into account. You're still paying for it in one way or another.

[Anonymous No.13031465]

>need expensive oil/caviar/lotions/toothbrush
>put said items in a plastic produce bag with cilantro to cover up
>ring up cilantro in the self-checkout and get $40 truffles/caviar or $20 toothbrush for free
OR
>get two filet mignons
>place one on top of the other and scan the bottom one, putting them both in the bag simultaneously
BOGO

[Anonymous No.13031470]

>be me
>go into McDonald's to order my food
>when it's ready I pick it up from the counter as well as the ubereats order that's sitting next to it
>no one in the "restaurant" notices or says anything
>don't realise what I've done until I'm driving off

[Anonymous No.13031508]

>>13031465
Ask me how I know you've never stolen anything at the self checkout.

[Anonymous No.13031529]

>>13031508
How do you know I have never stolen anything at the self checkout?

[Anonymous No.13031550]

>>13031529
The weight you fool.

[Anonymous No.13031562]

I ordered a ribs menu at Deliveroo a week ago. They forgot the pickels AND the coleslaw!
On the app there is no way to mark items missing that are part of a menu, I mean if you order an extra sauce or a drink you can do that, but I just marked the menu as a whole as non delivered. 38 GBP more in the bank.

[Anonymous No.13031567]

>>13031550
You are right. I am not him, I just wanted to bait you.
If you really want to steal something the best way is to dress business casual and "forget" to scan 1-2 medium priced items.

[Anonymous No.13031614]

>>13031567
this and you can literally scan anything as if it were a vegetable

[Anonymous No.13031910]

>>13031550
>>13031508
I have never had a problem with weight at a self-checkout

[Anonymous No.13031921]

>>13031508
you are one dumb faggot

[Anonymous No.13031966]

>>13031470
They have CCTV you know? Hope you returned it.

[Anonymous No.13032060]

>>13031910
What are they gon do call the cops?

[Anonymous No.13032083]

>>13031910

I bet that's the one place you've never had problem with weight.

[Anonymous No.13032087]

>tfw sneaking in a $19 block of fancy cheese into my bag
i cant be fucking stopped

[Anonymous No.13032093]

>>13032087
t. The Joker

[Anonymous No.13032448]

>>13030862
a couple of weeks ago the grocery store ran out of regular italian parsley and only had organic. i took 2 organics and rang it up as 1 regular. i could feel my heart racing. it felt like my dick was 8 feet long. i drove off as calmly as possible with my score. when i got a few blocks away, i pulled into a parking lot, reached into the bag, pulled the parsley, and smelled it. so fucking nice. every heist movie i've ever seen says that you shouldn't return to the scene of the crime, so i haven't been back to that store.

[Anonymous No.13032471]

Stop stealing you niggers

T. Grocery store manager.

[Anonymous No.13032567]

>spill my drink
>"oh dont worry sir, ill clean that up for you"
>cleaned the spill up before he came back with the mop

get fucked pathetic wagies

[Anonymous No.13032592]

>>13031447

No hes not paying for it. Everyone else who doesn't do this is paying for it brainlet.

[Anonymous No.13032599]

>peel my bananas before weighing them

[Anonymous No.13032847]

>>13030862

>Put plastic bags with store labels on them from previous shopping trips in my pockets.
>Get expensive steak , seafood & Italian cheeses
>Take bags out of pockets place items into them
>Leave empty cart and walk out holding the bags

[Anonymous No.13032854]

>>13031966
Blacks all look the same

[Anonymous No.13032858]

>>13032471
You people throw out good food during the night anyway instead of throwing it to charity.

[Anonymous No.13033138]

>>13030862
>buy apples
>conspicuously ring them up as oranges
>wait for the assistant to call you out on it
>claim that you can't tell the difference
>watch the world burn

[Anonymous No.13034180]

>>13030862
>Someone orders cottage cheese
>chew up the cheese and spit it out

[Anonymous No.13034184]

>>13034180
Retard.

[Anonymous No.13034969]

You faggots do realize over the long haul it is cheaper for wal mart to sell you organic Roma tomatoes at reg tomato prices vice paying some doofus $15/hr to ring up your shit.

[Anonymous No.13035340]

>>13032471
>makes the customer do the checkout
>surprised when people abuse the retarded system

[Anonymous No.13035717]

Lowering the price by ringing up the item as something similar but cheaper is one thing, but actually stealing them without paying is another. Kill yourselves idiots.

[Anonymous No.13035732]

>>13032471
There is literally nothing wrong with stealing from businesses.

[Anonymous No.13035735]

i put everything through as an "onion"

[Anonymous No.13036380]

>>13032471
I think my 20oz red bull and can of mixed nuts for my shopping trip has just doubled

[Anonymous No.13037319]

At least you can do this at grocery stores, shit like Walmart and Target are going full CCCP and have TWO sets of cameras at self scans, doors that prevent you from going out without seeing the ""greeters"", security cameras that track your movement/appearance.

I just go to the grocery and put in those 60¢/ea limes in with the 99¢/lb jalapenos to save a few bucks when I want tacos.

[Anonymous No.13038582]

>>13032471
WAGIE WAGIE GET IN CAGIE

[Anonymous No.13038600]

>>13035732
You're correct since a certain amount of loss is already programmed into the price. If you don't steal some to offset that additional markup you're being severely ripped off and the business is stealing from you. The logic is irrefutable.

[Anonymous No.13038635]

>>13038600
huh?

[Anonymous No.13038637]

>>13032471

What's wrong, are we skimming your profits? Mind if we look in your dumpster at the end of the night?

How much food will I find thrown out?

hmmmm?

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM??????????????????

[Anonymous No.13038662]

>buying yuzus at the supermarket
>register them as oranges instead
INCEL WORLD

[Anonymous No.13038665]

>>13038635
HE SAID THE LOGIC IS IRREFUTABLE

[Anonymous No.13038676]

>>13038637
based anon fuck that wagie

[Anonymous No.13038678]

heres some tips.
It works anywhere but I usually do it at a shopright. Anything pocketable can go in your pocket. I bout this ridiculous 25 dollar vanilla bean thing and just kept it in my hand I then just go to another random isle and stick my hand far into lets say the condiments section pretending im looking for mayo or something meanwhile im removing it from its box. I then pocket the item (hand is always sort of closed fixed and put the mayo in the card. Going to the bathroom and putting it in your sock or something works too. Its kinda fun desu. I only do it for fun really.

also best tip. at panera bread with a self service, any tea, iced tea, coffee is free. Get your debit card. put your body in front of the screen as much as you can to block possible cameras, mime as if your clicking for coffee ( i usually actually do every step but pay and then swipe your card but outside the range of it registering.

Free iced tea, they make good stuff. free coffee and free tea.

Broke student and I have been doing this in multiple panera breads but ive been at the same panera bread for like 6 months. possibly saved close to 100 -250$$. I dont spend money on coffee anymore

[Anonymous No.13038694]

>>13032471
LMAO ur just mad cuz u would get ur ass beat if u tried to stop sumbody

[Anonymous No.13038780]

>>13030862
im always so much of a fucjing chken I never do this but everytime I pfantasise about it

[Anonymous No.13039190]

>>13031550
not the devilsh anon but where i commute the supermarket next to the station has the scale in the bagging area disabled to save people time, never gyped anything more than wafer m&ms tho.

[Anonymous No.13039213]

>order food through drive through
>pull to the parking lanes immediately, remove something from bag
>go inside and tell them they forgot
>even if they know I'm lying they still give me extra free shit

works every time

[Anonymous No.13039220]

>go to local farmers market
>Steal everything
>Go to wal Mart
>Pay full price, including paying for the bag

[Anonymous No.13039224]

>>13032847
kek based as fuck

tried this once with a friend but the idiot literally filled the cart to the brim with shit. Nearly got fucking arrested because of that stupid fuck

[Anonymous No.13039243]

>>13039220
NOOOOOOOO MY LOCAL SMALL BUISNESSESSSSSSS

[Anonymous No.13039497]

>>13038678
Here's another tip. Motel breakfasts. Just dress well and carry a briefcase because the early morning staff is completely different from afternoon/evening when you presumably checked in so they never challenge you. Key is be cleancut and act with suave confidence.

[Anonymous No.13039521]

>>13030862
>That time I forgot the yeast packets at the bottom of my re-usable bag and the scale didn't pick them up
We've all done things we're not proud of...

[Anonymous No.13039561]

FYI it's against the site rules to post tutorials about illegal activities, guys.

[Anonymous No.13039575]

I always scan my avocados as onions .

[Anonymous No.13040221]

>this whole thread
oh what a thin veil society is to the true nature of humanity

[Anonymous No.13040247]

>>13030862
>take bag of grapes from the produce section
>place them on a shelf in the toy section
SEND IN
THE CLOOOOOOOOOOOOOWNS

[Anonymous No.13040280]

>>13040247
We live in a society

[Anonymous No.13040283]

>>13030862
there are a couple of checkers at my grocery store that don't look at the tags on produce and just ring everything up as non-organic. i just get in their lines and then the fault can't be placed on me if it ever was discovered.

[Anonymous No.13040335]

>>13032471
>tfw when I changed IP address or something at some point with this anon, pop into the thread and have more (you)s than i've had in probably a decade

>tfw I even stole this wagies (you)s

[Anonymous No.13040389]

>>13040247
A fun game to play at the supermarket is hiding perishable goods in non obvious places like on the shelves behind cans.

[Anonymous No.13040395]

Got two hotdogs and a Bang at the gas station. Lady didn't ring up the Bang, I didn't say anything. Will I ever be forgiven?

[Anonymous No.13040398]

>>13040395
she clearly wanted your bang
you mucked it up

[Anonymous No.13040415]

>>13040398
I knew that would be the first reply. Old Flip lady. I'm good.

[Anonymous No.13040438]

>>13040415
wear an eye mask and it's the most amazing lay you'll ever have
though I guess it's wise of you to avoid it since you'll never be satisfied with anything else after that experience

[Anonymous No.13040453]

>>13040438
T-thanks anon.

[Anonymous No.13040474]

>>13030862
I self-checkout tomatoes and hold the bunch by the produce-bag so that it registers as like 50 cents instead of whatever it's supposed to be. I have a vendetta against the place.

[Anonymous No.13040530]

>>13032599
>weigh the peel

[Anonymous No.13040867]

>>13030862
my sister did that got caught arrested and banned from the store and had to deal with court shit for a couple months
tl;dr she hung herself from the top balcony last month

[Anonymous No.13041052]

>>13035732
>>13035732
except god ordered you not to, and he created your ass. look it up. if its in the bible its true

[Anonymous No.13041072]

>>13040867
sucks to be her corpse rotting in hell. but hey cheer up she cant turn you in for incest.

[Anonymous No.13041093]

>>13031910
I have. Now I'm fat.

[Anonymous No.13041106]

>>13032858
Back when I used a food bank, Wal-Mart and Costco were two of the biggest that donated.

[Anonymous No.13041886]

>>13038600
>loss is already programmed into the price
Actually a good justification.

[Anonymous No.13042292]

>>13032471
Holy fuck wage cuck BTFO

WAGIE WAGIE GET IN CAGIE

[Anonymous No.13042361]

>>13032471
Wagie wagie in a cagie
9 to 5 he is a slavey

[Anonymous No.13042362]

>>13039243
MOOOMSSS.AND POOOOOOPPSSSS

[Anonymous No.13042374]

>>13031465
>$20 toothbrush

[Anonymous No.13042382]

>>13039243
NOOOOO YOU CANT JUST STEAL FROM YOUR LOCAL FARMERS NOOO NOT THE LOCAL GOOD FARMER BOIS

[Anonymous No.13042388]

>>13042382
NOW THEY WILL HAVE TO NOT BUT ANOTHER TRUCK WITH GOV SUBSIDIES

[Anonymous No.13042759]

>>13032567
>do wagie's job for him before he gets back
>save him time and effort
Hahahaha get FUCKED wagie!! GOTEEEEEM

[Anonymous No.13042923]

>>13030862
>Security guard asks me to empty my pockets
>argue with him for half an hour
>yell and make a scene
>only tying in my pockets was my Phone, my wallet and two sets of keys
Try to stop me ever again you motherfucker

[Anonymous No.13043157]

>>13030862
It was funnier with Jared Leto

[Anonymous No.13043184]

>>13042923
Messing with minimum-wagecucks is the funniest thing. I always try to remember obscure laws just to fuck with them. Like Costco allowing me to buy liquor since it is against federal law to sell alcohol in a membership-only establishment, due to prohibition era laws. Lead those stupid wagecucks on for an hour so they have to stay late that night because they didn't get their ""sidework"" done during their shift lmao.

[Anonymous No.13043187]

>>13041052
Jesus forgives all sins dumbass. You can do whatever you want as long as you repent.

[Anonymous No.13043199]

>>13043187
This.
Jesus is a sucker and he died for my sins.
I can do whatever the fuck I want bitches.
Raping the elderly? Confess and repent
Giving the pope the finger? Confess right on the spot, pope confessions bring transferable repentance credit

You get the idea.

[Anonymous No.13043218]

>>13042388
Small farmers at farmers markets don't get subsidies. Those are only for the megacorporations who pay off and bribe the politicians.

[Anonymous No.13043237]

>>13043218
better get back in the field then farm boy

tick tock
plant your crops
when there grown
i'll take the lot

[Anonymous No.13043240]

>>13043218
OH NO NOT THE NON PROFIT CO OP!!!! WHERE WILL I BUY MY FREE RANGE WATER

[Anonymous No.13043257]

>>13043184
You are neither charismatic, intelligent, nor confident enough to do this.

[Anonymous No.13043293]

>eat out
>food is just slightly under or over cooked
>eat half of it
>complain to the waitress that's it's not cooked right, you tried to stomach it but it's just so bad
>get a new dish
1.5 dishes for the price of one

[Anonymous No.13043297]

>>13033138
Madman

[Anonymous No.13043304]

Wagies are seething ITT lmao

[Anonymous No.13043310]

>>13030862
How fiendish OP

[Anonymous No.13043506]

>>13043293
What do you think that does to your self-esteem?

[Anonymous No.13043553]

>>13039213
BK manager here. Nobody will call you on this.
You could even call later, give them your order number, and say something was missing or not made right, and they'll write you down for a replacement.

Just don't be a retard and claim you came in the night before without calling or having the food. Nobody will give in to that shit.

[Anonymous No.13043715]

>>13030862
get on his level

[Anonymous No.13043734]

>>13030874

I do this all the time at Target.

[Anonymous No.13043774]

>>13031470
Woooow extra McDonald's. So cool
Bet your body loved that

[Anonymous No.13043799]

Buy squid.
Make youtube about pancakes.

[Anonymous No.13043851]

I think the store i went to had been robbed alot because after just 1 year you had to bring your receipt to a gate where you would have to scan the receipt in order to leave the store.

[Anonymous No.13043862]

>>13038678
another tip is to bring in a ziplock bag, and then you just put the item into the ziplock bag and then into your trousers. works like a charm.

[Anonymous No.13043863]

>trying to scan tiny little UPC sticker on onions
>get frustrated and have to enter it manually
>bring jumbo organic avocado within a half mile radius of scanner
>BOOOP! PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAG. DO NOT TRY TO DELETE ITEM AND ENTER MANUALLY, YOY ARE BEING MONITORED BY LOSS PREVENTION. WHY HAVEN'T YOU PLACED YOUR JUMBO ORGANIC AVOCADO IN THE BAG YET? DO YOU WANT US TO CALL THE POLICE?

[Anonymous No.13043875]

>>13043851
There are a lot of payday cash advance loans in your neighborhood, I take it? Barred windows on the churches too?

[Anonymous No.13043881]

>>13043863
What did you do with avocado?

[Anonymous No.13043890]

>>13043875
no, its a store close to major public hub in the city with lots of tourists etc and also tons of high end office workers go into the store for breakfast/lunch.

[Anonymous No.13043899]

>>13043881
I sliced half of it thin and used them on some turkey & havarti sandwiches. I rough chopped the rest the next morning and put it in some scrambled eggs with cherry tomatoes & goat cheese. Both meals were pretty good.

[Anonymous No.13043920]

[Anonymous No.13045088]

>>13043506
Feeling good about savings, pleb

[Anonymous No.13045158]

>>13039220
>Not stealing from walshart instead
The fuck

[Anonymous No.13045167]

>need to get cash
>buy one single jalapeno for .02 then get cashback

[Anonymous No.13045182]

>>13032858
Fuck you you thief faggot, we donate waaay more shit than we throw away. We only throw away shit that is rotting or has glass in it/leaking realy bad.

>t. grocery store manager

[Anonymous No.13045263]

>buying onions at self checkout
>weigh them as apples
ONE FOR THE GAME
TWO FOR THE FAME
THREE FOR THE NAME
FOUR TO THE GRAVE

[Anonymous No.13045352]

>Go to pet section
>Grab cans of cat food
>Open several cans
>Hide them behind product and under the bottom shelf, where nobody can see/reach easily

[Anonymous No.13045365]

>>13045352
I fucking hate you people and hope you get dick cancer

[Anonymous No.13045388]

>>13041052
>Exodus 5:3
>And He said, "Thou shalt not game the system at the self-checkout."
I'll be damned

[Anonymous No.13045434]

>>13032471