Colonoscopy Diet

[Anonymous No.13027862]

i'm getting a colonoscopy in a couple weeks and for the week prior i need to eat a low fiber diet. this means no whole grains, nuts, seeds, dried fruit, or raw fruits or vegetables.

im making up a list of shit to buy. any quick meal ideas?

[Anonymous No.13027874]

>>13027862
oh yeah, also no beans or legumes or anything like that.

[Anonymous No.13027877]

>>13027862
>no whole grains, nuts, seeds, dried fruit, or raw fruits or vegetables

Jesus Christ!
Cheez Wiz?

[Anonymous No.13027888]

>>13027877
so far i have white bread, white rice, smooth peanut butter, and peeled potatoes.

[Anonymous No.13027895]

Obvs eat nothing but tumeric paste ane blue marbles

[Anonymous No.13027901]

>the doc wants you to be crammed to the gills with backed-up shit when you get a colonoscopy
Huh, I would have guessed the opposite.
Make a lot of scrambles with potatoes, cheese, sausage, and chili.

[Anonymous No.13027908]

>>13027901
the day before the procedure you have to fast and take a fuckload of laxitives. it cleans you out real good.

the reason for low fiber is because fibrous stuff gets stuck in your colon and can create false positives or clog the scope.

[Anonymous No.13027923]

Obvs using a wide mouth turkey bastery to pack several cans of alphaghetti up there right before you go in

[Anonymous No.13027934]

>>13027888
No peanut butter.
You could check with your doctor first, but peeled cucumber is very low in fiber if you still crave vegetables. You can also have fruit juice without any pulp. Eggs, yogurt, and other animal products are fine. Try an omelette with ham and cheese if you aren't restricted to lean meats. Ask if you need to avoid tough meats.

[Anonymous No.13027939]

How come americans need general anesthesia for a colonscopy?
Literally how afraid are they of having a tube camera up their ass for an hour?

[Anonymous No.13027948]

>>13027939
They have a different approach to patient pain. It is actively managed, while in Europe, you can cry for a few days before someone give you a Tylenol.
They are good at some things.

[Anonymous No.13027953]

>>13027934
peanut butter is fine as long as it's smooth/creamy and not crunchy.

[Anonymous No.13027954]

>>13027908
I thought the reason for eating a lot of fiber was to clean you out.

[Anonymous No.13027957]

>>13027948
How does it hurt to have a camera shoved up your ass with plenty of lube?

[Anonymous No.13027959]

>>13027939
OP here. i'm in canada and there's no general anesthesia. they give you some drugs, but youre awake for the whole thing.

[Anonymous No.13027965]

>>13027959
I'll take my American doctors, thanks.

[Anonymous No.13027966]

>>13027957
Ah, you've never tried. It is more than unpleasant.
But the reason for no pain relief is mostly organizational: can't be arsed to bother the sole anaesthesiologist of the floor.

[Anonymous No.13027967]

>>13027957
when i had my last colonoscopy 10+ years ago, the pain wasn't around my asshole. it was in my gut. it felt like the worst cramps of all time.

[Anonymous No.13027975]

>>13027939
Why would anyone be comfortable with having any kind of thing shoved up their asshole unless they were a asshole aficionado.

[Anonymous No.13027984]

>>13027975
Your colon is occupied with bio-hazardous waste 99% of the time, why is it suddenly an issue when a sterilized camera is poking in the reverse direction?

[Anonymous No.13027995]

>>13027984
>why is it suddenly an issue when a sterilized camera is poking in the reverse direction?
they pump your colon full of air to dilate it. imagine having your entire colon filled with high pressure gas and experiencing the associated gas pain.

[Anonymous No.13028003]

>>13027939
>How come americans need general anesthesia for a colonscopy?
Americans get general anesthesia for tooth extraction as well. They're huge babies.

[Anonymous No.13028008]

>>13027984
The anus is not a play ground, nothing good comes from the exhaust system.

[Anonymous No.13028015]

>>13028008
>the anus is not a playground
You don't even know what you're missing.

[Anonymous No.13028866]

>>13027939
Nothing to do with being in America. I'm in a fucking Balkan shithole and even here most colonoscopies are done under general anesthesia especially if they are taking a biopsy sample.
Also the diet is not that big of a deal. I've never been told to do anything specific this far in advance. Avoid fibrous foods for a few days prior and you'll shit everything on the day before the procedure from the laxatives you'll be taking.

[Anonymous No.13029258]

>>13027923
>not using spaghetti letters to write a loveletter to the doctor performing the colonoscopy, inside your colon

[Anonymous No.13029380]

my insurer wanted me to pay $2k for this I told them to get fucked i’ll wait two years

[Anonymous No.13029402]

>>13028003
That really surprised me when I spent a semester in the US. Everyone thought it was totally insane that I had my wisdom teeth removed with just local anesthesia and no opioid prescription afterwards.

Mine weren't exactly a simple case (I had 6 instead of the usual 4 and all of them were impacted), but the surgeon just asked me if I had some Ibuprofen at home and sent me on my way.

[Anonymous No.13029404]

>>13027967
That’s usually from the air they have to pump in there to maneuver the camera

[Anonymous No.13029477]

>>13027957
Most Americans haven't spent ten years having anal sex and shoving shit up their assholes, you faggot.
Just because your ass is loose enough to drive a car in doesn't mean the rest of us are in the same state.

[Anonymous No.13029866]

>>13027862
just eat the SAD diet, guaranteed constipation

[Anonymous No.13029888]

>>13027901
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3435786/
>Dietary fiber is also associated with increased bloatedness and abdominal discomfort[22]. Insoluble fiber was reported to worsen the clinical outcome of abdominal pain and constipation[18-20]. In our recent study, patients who followed a diet with no or less dietary fiber intake showed a significant improvement, not just in their constipation, but also in their bloatedness. Patients who completely stopped consuming dietary fiber no longer suffered from abdominal bloatedness and pain. These symptoms are caused by the fermentation of dietary fiber by colonic bacteria, which produces hydrogen, carbon dioxide and methane[23]. Gases that are trapped by peristaltic colon exert pressure on the walls, causing the abdominal pain experienced by patients.
>In conclusion, contrary to popularly held beliefs, reducing or stopping dietary fiber intake improves constipation and its associated symptoms.

[Anonymous No.13029901]

>>13027954
>I thought the reason for eating a lot of fiber was to clean you out.
Fiber is just material you eat that doesn't get broken down by digestive enzymes. Eating it might help move other intestinal content along, but not necessarily. It's just as likely to sit there and give you even more bowel problems by adding its own source of blockage. These things are never as simple as always helping or always hurting.

[Anonymous No.13029929]

>>13027877
>Jesus Christ!
>Cheez Wiz?
Are you all vegetarians? Meat is very low fiber and easy to digest. It's not like there's a shortage of meat options.
Also noodles, rice, bananas, pudding, spaghettios, easy mac, chicken noodle soup, mashed potatoes, eggs, etc.

[Anonymous No.13030121]

>>13029929
>Are you all vegetarians? Meat is very low fiber and easy to digest.
>2019
>Still eating yourself to death
Come on now. Also your wrong. Meat is the hardest to digest because humans are not carnivores. Meat just sits in your guts and rots for months.
Tell your doctor he's an idiot and eat vegetables anyway.

[Anonymous No.13030124]

>>13027862
This gave me an erection.

[Anonymous No.13030143]

>>13027862
I just had to down 4 liters of laxative the day before
drank it with sprite to get some energy from the sugar
laxative was worse than the colonoscopy (no anesthesia however it didn't hurt at all)

[Anonymous No.13030160]

>>13030143
>4 liters of laxative
lol what the fuck? I've had Ulcerative Colitis for the past 15 years with my fair share of colonoscopies and I have never been told to take anywhere near that much laxative.

[Anonymous No.13030164]

>>13030121
>Meat just sits in your guts and rots for months.
Who would do that? Just go on the internet and tell lies?

[Anonymous No.13030197]

>>13030164
Enjoy your colon cancer then.

[Anonymous No.13030220]

>>13030197
i eat meat and my colon looked like the one on the right during my scope

[Anonymous No.13030223]

>>13030220
Meat causes eye problems too.

[Anonymous No.13030237]

>>13030197
Why would he get colon cancer? (Meat doesn't cause colon cancer)

[Anonymous No.13030240]

>>13030223
i have near-perfect eyesight and have for my entire life, contrary to the rest of my family who all have had glasses since young ages.

[Anonymous No.13030242]

>>13030237

[Anonymous No.13030258]

>>13030121
>Michael greger, M.D.
Are you expecting me to trust the word of a Jew? If anything I, and everyone else, should do the exact opposite.

[Anonymous No.13030809]

>>13030242
>He didn't get the memo
kek, it's fake news for pushing goyim to eat bugs.
https://www.theguardian.com/food/2019/sep/30/research-red-meat-poses-no-health-risk