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/ck/ - Food & Cooking


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13025112 No.13025112 [Reply] [Original]

Have you ever fucked up a dish, /ck/?

>> No.13025113
File: 35 KB, 669x400, 123443213.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13025113

>>13025112
all the time and i dont even cook hard meals. two days ago i was going to microwave a cup ramen and it slipped from my hands and all the soup spilled onto the floor. i added water and some salt and red pepper flakes but it tasted flat

>> No.13025122

>>13025112
why did he try to suplex it and not just flip it?

>> No.13025127

>>13025112
Does mixing up heavy cream and whipping cream count? Turns out it does it does when you're making chicken pot pie.

>> No.13025133

>>13025112
Why didn't he just flip t using a spatula

>> No.13025154

>>13025112
poor fish, died to end up like that.

>> No.13025166

>Worked at a group home after college
>Had to cook, because cook called off
>Had to make instant mashed potatoes
>there's 15 people to cook for, so I use the whole box
>mixing mashed potatoes, and it turns hard as concrete
>read box
>entire box is enough to feed 100+ people

>> No.13025202
File: 42 KB, 550x440, funny_picdump_508_640_29-550x440-1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13025202

>>13025112
I followed the back of the box directions on a frozen pizza one time and put it directly on the oven rack like a fucking idiot. I should have known better, but I was drunk.

Also a couple of months ago, I cooked some stir fry veggies at my parent's house and the handle broke off mid toss. I don't understand how 50+ year old adults can still fall for buying shitty, cheap kitchenware.

>> No.13025215

>>13025154
And it was Mahi Mahi too
bastard should have used a grill basket

>> No.13025230

>>13025202
But you are supposed to put frozen pizzas directly on the rack. You must have done something else retarded to cause that.

>> No.13025237

>>13025230
Like what? I don't eat a lot of frozen pizza, so it's entirely possible. The oven was properly preheated.

>> No.13025242

>>13025133
to big

>> No.13025266

>>13025237
You let it sit out too long and the dough softened enough that it fell through the grate. The cooking of the crust couldn't keep up with the weight of the toppings. Frozen pizza does go on the rack but you need to be put it in straight from the freezer

>> No.13025267

I was drunk and decided to cook because i was hungry, the next morning i found out that my spatula melted on my pan

>> No.13025276

>>13025242
No it wasn't he could've flipped it backwards the oven is big enough

>> No.13025375
File: 42 KB, 474x474, kl;.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13025375

>try to make a loaf of fresh white bread
>follow directions exactly
>the whole loaf tastes like a bad southern biscuit
>just dry as shit

>> No.13025435

>>13025202
this is why they say to never defrost the pizza. it comes out fine directly on the rack

>> No.13025441

>>13025435
I've done it both ways and never had that thing happen.

>> No.13025484

>>13025122
Because whites are notoriously retarded when it comes to cooking

>> No.13025511

>>13025122
More like why didnt he get another grill partition and put it on top and flip it that way?

>> No.13025526

>>13025375
This happens to me every time too anon.
I'm a pretty good cook but can't bake bread to save my life

>> No.13025588

>>13025375
>>13025526
I think most bread recipes don't use enough liquid, especially if you use whole wheat. Try using 1/4 cup + 2 tablespoons of water for every cup of white flour, or 1/2 cup of water for every cup of whole wheat flour. The dough might seem a little too wet to knead at first, but let it sit for like 10-15 minutes before kneading and it'll have absorbed some liquid and gotten stiffer.

Also, baking higher than 350F just seems to dry out the bread unless you're actually steaming your oven with hot water or baking in something with a cover. Getting a scale can help too by letting your dough be more consistent, measuring stuff like flour with measuring cups won't always give you the same amount.

>> No.13025618

>>13025266
>>13025435
Yeah that makes sense. Oh well, it was a frozen pizza, who gives a shit?

>> No.13025625

>>13025112
Not really a dish, but I mixed the salt and sugar up when making kool aid once. Was the worst thing ever. I was so thirsty too and just guzzled like half a glass too and promptly threw up.

>> No.13025648

>>13025112
when i was a kid i used masturbate with white bread.

>> No.13025671

>>13025648
Did you eat it afterwards?

>> No.13025672

>>13025484
>implying minorities don't cook bad food which is then overcompensated with spices
>implying the technology and production to make a variety of tools wasn't created by whites or Europeans
i think whites know more about food than you think

>> No.13025679

>>13025672
*variety of tools used in cooking

>> No.13025692

>>13025672
>>13025679
>replying to shitty b8
anon pls

>> No.13025706

>>13025113
There's something hilarious about people accidentally dropping food they're about to eat. It always makes me laugh

>> No.13025775
File: 95 KB, 640x636, sad potato.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13025775

>>13025112
most of the time

>> No.13026537

>>13025672
>Poltards just can't avoid the bait

>> No.13027449

>>13025127
They are basically the same butterfat content, so as long as they aren't sweetened it would be a fine 1 to 1 substitute. What happened?

>> No.13027461

>>13025112
>>13025112
i cooked a fish with bone in it for a girl I was dating and she still like it and we still fucked

>> No.13027521
File: 359 KB, 828x811, 92FC923A-EBB0-47A3-B0D8-C05D8E7BE9C3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13027521

>have fucked up oven that gets way too hot
>cooks things in half the time at least
>make cupcakes
>come out perfectly fine, toothpick came out clean
>they cool
>tiny bit towards the surface raw

>> No.13027529

>>13025112
Nope. Never once you'd have to be retarded to fuck up cooking. You think any pro chef ever has ever fucked up? Course not they're not retarded

>> No.13027565

>>13025112
Me on the left.

>> No.13027772

>>13025484
>that guy
>white
Lol that was a spic you dumby

>> No.13027829
File: 19 KB, 294x256, 1430242816251.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13027829

Get ready
>be 13
>get into cooking, decide to make cupcakes for st patricks day
>fuck up cupcakes i'm making from scratch, icing too
heres the kicker
>icing is thin
>used powdered sugar, thought maybe flour will thicken it up
>mfw 24 now and remembering my stupidity

>> No.13029010

>>13025484
not even a whitey?

>> No.13029026

>>13025672
>NOOO WHITES INVENTED FOOD

>> No.13029027

>>13025112
>the_fish_webm.webm
disrespectful desu

>> No.13029045

>>13025706
It's pure schadenfreude, I still remember the time I was drunk and overloaded a taco with my dad's mango salsa and shredded chicken and it exploded, and in my attempt to contain the explosion i knocked my plate over and dumped it all on the floor.

I remember it in the same way I imagine people remember car wrecks where a dear friend died. Sometimes I just zone out and remember that delicious meal just wasted.

>> No.13029087

>>13025706
You're a psycho then. Seeing that shit ruins my day.

>> No.13029161

>>13025484
>sudaca monkey
>white
pick one

>> No.13029169

>>13025625
Should have just added more water and some sugar. Gatorade.

>> No.13029242
File: 689 KB, 640x360, perfect.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13029242

>>13029027
what should it be called then

>> No.13029294

>>13025484
>spics are white
hahaha tell me more

>> No.13029300

>>13029242
haha that one get me every fucking time, that has to be one of the most retarded looks ever

>> No.13029301
File: 2.90 MB, 640x480, 1553145595878.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13029301

>>13029242

>> No.13029326

>>13025484
The guy cooking is clearly hispanic, anon

>> No.13030806

>>13025112
Just today
>tried tempering chocolate
>room's ambient temp is 30+
fuck australia, it's not even summer yet

>> No.13030820

>>13030806
Is winter in Australia like actual European winter or is it just always warm?

>> No.13030829

>>13030820
Depends on where you are. Down south, especially Tasmania, it gets cold and even snows sometimes. In Queensland and the other northern regions there isn't really a winter, it just gets less hot and humid

>> No.13030867

>>13029301
based

>> No.13030879

>>13025112
Everyone has, it’s part of learning. If you don’t learn from your mistakes though, stop cooking.

>> No.13030889

>>13025202
That should’ve worked fine, you must’ve done something retarded. I’ve done that plenty of times to know it comes out better every time than using a pleb pan.

>> No.13030914

>>13025112
I hope he has cats

>> No.13030929

>>13025484
Shit b8 but you got a lot of (you)s so idk

>> No.13030955

It's funny because he's fat

>> No.13031021

>>13025484
Imagine being racist lol.

>> No.13031155

>>13025112
Yesterday I accidentally my kidney beans. Left them simmering while I went for a motorcycle ride and came home to burning beans smell.

>> No.13031180
File: 12 KB, 350x350, eggs.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13031180

>>13025112
The worst I've done is drop 2 of these packs of eggs

>> No.13031187

>>13025202
It comes out way better directly on the rack, it only falls through if you let it thaw, has to be totally frozen when it goes in

>> No.13031199
File: 485 KB, 1224x1632, stir-fry-fish-rice-seaweed-beans.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13031199

>>13025112
Sometimes overcook my stir frys. Pic related.

>> No.13032281
File: 221 KB, 500x375, homer3.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13032281

>>13025112
Yes, I tried to make a "stir-fry" using the only ingredients I had on hand: mushrooms, alfalfa sprouts, one packet of soy sauce, and sun dried tomatoes.I would've been better off making a salad.

>> No.13032303

>>13030929
It's too easy

>> No.13032388

No but I've fucked a fish

>> No.13032394 [DELETED] 

>>13032388
fuck off yeltsew

>> No.13033632
File: 565 KB, 705x482, 1524375688551.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13033632

>>13025112
>baking chicken breasts
>grab bottle of pam and spray the bottom of the glass dish
>check the chicken partway through
>wtf this smells weird
>look at the bottle of "pam" spray I put down on the counter top
>notice it says "pledge"

>>
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