/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.12786630]

Tell me /ck/, what is the ultimate cheeseboard?

[Anonymous No.12786653]

Just a normal charcuterie plate BUT it's all served on a giant block of cheese

[Anonymous No.12786657]

Tell me, retard, what's the point in asking such useless questions?

[Anonymous No.12786663]

>>12786630
>requesting an objective answer to a subjective question
Retard.

[Anonymous No.12787456]

my foreskin

[Anonymous No.12787495]

One hard, one soft, one blue.

[Anonymous No.12787502]

>>12786630
Mixing in fresh seasonal fruits with a variety of cheeses ranging from bloomy to year old aged as well as honey, nuts, jams, preserves, a mix of charcuterie including spiced and smokey options along side unsmoked and unspiced kinds. Essentially you're looking for a decent variety at every level that allows participants to make endless combinations and find their favorite one. I make a lot of cheese boards and cheese based things for friends and family and I always get big compliments and this is by basic rubric. The key with the rubric is to always find the best version of this stuff that you can afford. I find that great cheese boards for a party can be done between $50-$100 dollars. I always pair with crusty baguettes but lately I've been adding in nut thins because a friend of mine is a celiac. Pic related is one I made last year. I bought everything at a Nugget Market.

[Anonymous No.12787518]

>super sharp cheddar
>soft brie or camembert
>usually a creamy havarti
>something different like a jalapeno gouda or herb and garlic edam
>small amount of a danker blue cheese
>seasonal fruit jam
>thin cuts of varying meats ranging in spiciness from mild to super hot
>thin baked crostinis
>herb and garlic crackers
>lighter rice cracker
>maybe a bit of chickpea spread for variety

That's been my go to for years and its never let me down

[Anonymous No.12788110]

>>12786630
>blueberries and cheese
is this better than it sounds

[Anonymous No.12788134]

>>12788110
Could be with the right kind of cheese like a fresh cheese. OP's pic is pretty pleb tier though. There is no fresh cheese pictured with the blueberries and cherries and the cheeses look pretty mediocre and the salami is absolute garbage as per the appearance of the texture and coarseness of grind and overall too high of moisture content to be a true slow aged and cured salami.

[Anonymous No.12788500]

>>12786630
>what is the ultimate cheeseboard?
/brie/

[Anonymous No.12788664]

>>12788134
poor taste
you can pair anything with fresh cheese because it's nothing
don't be a faggot next time and keep your shitty opinions in your asshole where you pulled that out from

[Anonymous No.12788673]

>>12786630
take a look at this beauty

[Anonymous No.12788680]

>>12786630
Lunchables Uploaded laid out on a cutting board

[Anonymous No.12788684]

>>12788673
80% of that spread is not even fucking cheese.
I r8 2/8 try harder next time fag.

[Anonymous No.12788706]

I like to read about cheeseboards as I can imagine I am holding a proper adult dinner party and serve it, instead of being a sad frustrated autist

[Anonymous No.12788707]

>>12787502
Man I fucking love la tur

[Anonymous No.12788733]

>>12786630
You need a variety of both meats and cheeses. Some fresh cheese, some crowd pleasing shit like a nice Brie and havarti(or in the photo, port salut), some slightly harder stuff like a nice sheeps milk cheese, toss in some goat cheese for variety, some really funky blue cheese or washed rind shit, and some real aged and hard stuff to round it out. Board should be mostly cheese or meat with some fresh fruit, jam, dried fruits, nuts, and pickles as pairings if they go well with the cheeses you have. You also need some good bread, a nice baguette usually does a good job. The board in your pic looks like ass, barely any cheese at all and whatever is in there looks basic as fuck, little to no variety in the cheeses

[Anonymous No.12788845]

>>12788684
I am not a fag.

[Anonymous No.12788869]

>>12786630
You know, it might sound weird, but I keep a notebook for my friends and family where I write down their preferences for things like cuisines, cheese, candy etc. That way it's easy to figure shit like this out once it's time.

My favorites are: St. Augur, Chevre, Camembert, Brie, Gorgonzola, Gouda and Grevé.

[Anonymous No.12788876]

>>12787518
based

[Anonymous No.12789302]

>>12786630
>mimolette
>camembert
>comte
>roquefort
>valencay
>a soft fresh cheese mixed with herbs

[Anonymous No.12789474]

>>12786630
>cheeseboard
Isn't that just so people who don't know shit about cheese can try a whole bunch for the first time?

[Anonymous No.12789923]

>bro do you even charcuterie

[Anonymous No.12789952]

[Anonymous No.12789963]

[Anonymous No.12789969]

[Anonymous No.12790009]

>>12786630
/ck/ is a pretty good cheese board

[Anonymous No.12790024]

>>12788673
is that a slim jim?

[Anonymous No.12791569]

>>12789474
i would imagine so

[Anonymous No.12791728]

[Anonymous No.12791733]

[Anonymous No.12791803]

>>12788673
Is that a vegan sausage?

[Anonymous No.12791823]

>>12789923
Oh wow, a challenge board, I love these. You have to identify the most expensive stuff and try to clear it in the least possible refills without anyone noticing.

[Anonymous No.12792407]

>>12791823
nigger

[Anonymous No.12792946]

>>12787502
>>12787518
Damn, if this doesn't get you your pick of babes to bang that night I don't know what will.

[Anonymous No.12793000]

you need a creamy cheese, a blue cheese, a cheddar, a smoked cheese, and a cheese with an edible rind
these can overlap

[Anonymous No.12793032]

>>12793000
Smoked cheeses are garbage for tastelets please expand your horizons and what is a "creamy" cheese? Bloomy rinds, washed rinds, fresh cheeses, and semi firm table cheeses can all be described as creamy.

[Anonymous No.12793049]

>>12791823
None of that looks particularly expensive desu. Orange cheese is a dead give away of a shit board plus the grind of the salami is clearly mass produced dog food.

[Anonymous No.12793057]

>>12786630
Why is it called a cheese plate when there is so much other shit.

[Anonymous No.12793061]

>>12793049
How is orange cheese part of a shit board? Do you mean cheeses with orange rinds or cheeses that are uniformly orange? Either way, I can think of examples of good cheese that are orange

[Anonymous No.12793067]

>>12793057
You're right, a good cheese board should have much more cheese than op

[Anonymous No.12793097]

>>12788845
[citation needed]

[Anonymous No.12793103]

>>12789969
is that fucking plastic

[Anonymous No.12793106]

Anybody got a good recipe for pate? Chicken, duck, pork?

[Anonymous No.12793139]

>>12793032
you need cheese for tastelets if you want to please people
stop being such an insufferable snob

[Anonymous No.12793192]

>>12786630

Thx, its my new wallpaper.

[Anonymous No.12793202]

>>12793192
wallpaper for ants

[Anonymous No.12793215]

>>12786630
Any cheese I can fucking shove in my mouth because I fucking love cheese

[Anonymous No.12793272]

>>12788673
>strawberries
>baby carrots

what the fuck

[Anonymous No.12793371]

/s4s/

[Anonymous No.12793537]

>>12793139
>associating with plebs
>showing anything but disdain for plebs
Nah but seriously if your selections and pairings are good enough you don't need to debase yourself for anyone and everyone to enjoy. Good good tastes good all the time that's why it's good. I've introduced several people to their new favorite cheeses simply by holding myself to a standard and not being afraid to expose people to it and share it with them. It isn't about exclusivity its about quality of ingredients and expertise of craftsmanship and those things are universally appreciated.

[Anonymous No.12793719]

>>12793537
>you need a creamy cheese, a blue cheese, a cheddar, a smoked cheese, and a cheese with an edible rind
>these can overlap
you're a pleb if you can't find fine cheese that falls into these broad categories

[Anonymous No.12794944]

>>12786630
I have found that psychologically most people do not respond well to crowded, packed cheeseboards/spreads. People want curation and vastly fewer options. They’re willing to try one or two of your favorite cheeses, jams, honeys, and meats but often don’t care to dig through a pile of haphazard shit.

The closest pic I can find to my philosophy is pic related. I would say this arrangement really isn’t great, though. If you have vegetarians present, they won’t eat cheese that’s near meat. If god forbid a vegan sneaks in they won’t eat anything near cheese or meat. I put nuts, jams, and any dried fruit by themselves. I put the cheeses together by themselves with honey, and the meats together by themselves.

I don’t like plates, as they make people feel too much commitment. Just a huge stack of napkins and a handy place to toss them if they end up trying and hating your blue cheese.

Only 3 cheeses and meats, each something you can explain exactly why you like them and where they’re from. It’s better that you get a person going back 5 times grazing rather than filling up a plate and eating half of it. It’s like when you go to a fancy party and there are waves of very small hors d'oeuvres vs Golden Corral.

[Anonymous No.12795285]

>>12786630
pic related

[Anonymous No.12796445]

>>12789923
H-how expensive is this

[Anonymous No.12796584]

>>12794944
Makes sense, I hate when everything smells like one fucking salami and pickled stuff drips all over

[Anonymous No.12796596]

>>12786657
>>12786663
You're an absolute fucking dumbass. Grow up.

[Anonymous No.12797673]

>>12786630
500gr of Munster and an 8-pack to go with it

[Anonymous No.12798164]

>>12793103
it's a perfect presentation
>finest ingredients
>utmost care