/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12669878]

Don't let your dreams be dreams be the cook you know you can be

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12669890]

today I will be making donairs

[Anonymous No.12669924]

>>12669878

[Anonymous No.12669929]

>>12669878
>>12669890
based

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12669938]

we will be using a blend of pork and beef and panko
only because I have so much god damn panko
normally the breadcrumbs would be there to absorb liquid and keep the texture

we will not be doing this as a spit, this is a much easier technique that I will show you

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12669950]

as you can see however the panko is far too coarse so we will first bring it to a favourable consistency

[Anonymous No.12669956]

Monitoring thread. This is the second time I've seen donairs mentioned today, and have just realized that I have no fucking idea what a donair is.

[Anonymous No.12669964]

>>12669938
this looks delicious

[Anonymous No.12669979]

You know what, I think I've got ingredients to do this myself

[Anonymous No.12669997]

>>12669950
Never had a food processor before; always had to crush shit myself with a hammer and plastic bag

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670010]

thats much better

>>12669956
its a canadian take on the gyro more or less
the recipe for the meat itself will keep for ages in the freezer or in even just the fridge

>>12669979
feel free to join in if you like but be warned i'm doing 3 different batches

>>12669997
i don't use a food processor
I just do this in my hand between my fingers

[Anonymous No.12670012]

>>12669997
hah, that's how I got rid of my ex-wive!

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670013]

combine your pork and your beef in a 1-1 ratio

[Anonymous No.12670019]

>>12669878
show feet

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670020]

work in your bread crumbs and whatever spices you're using
I just added the garlic powder afterwards here since I had too much panko for the first batch

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670032]

>>12670019
keep the change ya filthy animal

I'm not even sure why I'm wearing socks I might take them off half way through it's fucking hot out

[Anonymous No.12670045]

>>12669979
>>12669950
Don’t have any thing to a traditional Pablo. Going to improvise.

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670060]

add a bit of colour to it with some cayenne
I added cayenne and coarse black pepper to the next batches panko

>>12670045
shoulda got the flamin hot white boy

should work okay, donairs are great with cheddar

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670065]

then you roll that over itself gently and we'll be transferring it over to the cutting boards

[Anonymous No.12670077]

>>12670045
Ready to mix it in

[Anonymous No.12670081]

good thread
am riveted
keep going OP

[Anonymous No.12670093]

>>12670077
The absolute madman

[Anonymous No.12670104]

I now feel better about myself and my living conditions. Thanks OP.

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670120]

okay so we make sure to line our pan with parchment paper, we'll need a second sheet too in a second but watch

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670124]

smoosh the log flat

the reason we did the roll with the cayenne was to give some complexity to the meat

[Anonymous No.12670125]

>>12670065
Am I doing it right OP?

[Anonymous No.12670126]

I am fighting sleeping pills for this thread
I need to see how this turns out

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670147]

now we have a rough shape to work with but its far too thick, the thickness should be about half the width of your thumb evenly across.
some people use rolling pins but I get a rough shape and then do it by hand in a couple steps
remember to fold in any thin outer spots, otherwise you'll have burnt bits, remember, the meat will still shrink.

>>12670125
unroll that i dont see cayenne

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670172]

doing it by hand will be easy, but doing either rolling pin or hand will make it a bit uneven

[Anonymous No.12670179]

>>12670147
Don’t have cayenne, but I have Chinese five spice and garlic powder. That should substitute, right?

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670200]

rub rub rub rub rub
>>12670179
do you only have those two spices?

extra garlic powder should help that mix but I don't really know about like, the cinnamon in the mix

i've had cocoa and coffee meats a fair bit so I could see it working out
a soup mix is doable too probably

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670204]

okay this is proper thickness and into the oven

as per usual i'll be putting this in for 350 for 40 minutes

[Anonymous No.12670206]

>>12670179
Cayenne is mostly heat, so no
do you have anything hot?
sriracha, red pepper flakes, hot sauce?

[Anonymous No.12670210]

>>12670204
>40 mins
sleeping pill anon btfo!

[Anonymous No.12670219]

>>12670126
welcome to he/ck/

[Anonymous No.12670220]

>>12670200
>>12670206

This stuff might work

[Anonymous No.12670230]

>>12670210
I'm still here, but I don't think I'll make 40 minutes

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670261]

okay
while the oven was preheating I did the second batch

>>12670230
40 minutes starting now.
the over was preheating. :)

>>12670206
its the flavour you want not the heat dummy
any moron could just slather shit in wasabi or extracts

[Anonymous No.12670272]

is this a cooking with hoarders thread?

[Anonymous No.12670276]

>>12670261
So far everything looks disgusting and dirty. You live in filth OP. I doubt you have roaches though, they would have fled long ago. Unless your mangy one-eyed cat ate them all.

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670309]

okay so the sauce is gonna be sweetened condensed milk and white vinegar, and a little bit of garlic powder

I'll be using the vinegar from my sauerkraut
you kinda wanna wanna make it look like really watery cum

I cant find my camera where the fuck did i put it

>>12670276
imagine the smell

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670322]

okay found my camera

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670325]

fUCK wrong god damned

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670329]

well hopefully its okay good thing I like pepper

[Anonymous No.12670348]

>>12670329
For the love of god stop. Just... stop.

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670350]

had to add a bit more vinegar and garlic powder to overpower the pepper a bit but it tastes good

gonna finish up prep on the last batch which I'll be using the leftover sauce ingredients directly into the meat

[Anonymous No.12670351]

What Am I Looking At?

[Anonymous No.12670355]

>>12670322
How come so many posters here have such dirty kitchens? Everything is covered in grime.

[Anonymous No.12670372]

>>12670351
A glimpse into the fate that awaits the eternally damned.

>>12670355
You are in a den of monsters. What did you expect?

[Anonymous No.12670398]

>>12670372
Does this look like your cum?

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670400]

make a well

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670402]

add vinegar

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670407]

add leftover condensed milk, quite a bit in here actually

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670415]

oven went off, was greasier than I liked so I drained it off and put it back in to dry off for 20 minutes.
the grease smells fantastic though

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670420]

[Anonymous No.12670422]

>>12670398
No.
>>12670407
But that sure does.

OP, you need to blast this as you make that infernal abomination. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBwS66EBUcY

[Anonymous No.12670427]

>>12670420
>community college mug

Well that just makes sense.

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670439]

>>12670427
>college
anon thats an elementary school

[Anonymous No.12670456]

>>12670439

[Anonymous No.12670463]

>>12670420
this aint it chief

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670486]

[Anonymous No.12670489]

>>12669878
jesus dude, you need to get laid asap

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670491]

rough size comparison between the 2nd batch and first after cooking

[Anonymous No.12670499]

Looks amazing

[Anonymous No.12670517]

>>12670499
I've seen more appealing pictures on the posters of people protesting an abortion clinic.

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670677]

second batches 20 minutes away gonna start on the desert now

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670732]

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670736]

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670747]

gon need lots of egg whites

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670753]

oops i skipped a picture

so what im doing is im putting the yolks in salt
I'

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670759]

ok enough whites and at least one non exploded yolk in the cheap as hell salt with cheap as hell eggs

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670777]

second batch it out, still deciding on my rig for batch 3 since it's very wet and I have no sausage casings currently

[Anonymous No.12670872]

>>12670400
I got lost around here, where is that meat from and what’s the goal?
>>12670732
And what is this dessert you’re trying to make? I don’t understand

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670895]

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670899]

>>12670872
thats the third batch and I'm whipping eggwhites into a 2 ingredient chocolate cake

the salted yolks are a preserve but 4chan cut off that post explaining it for some reason

[Anonymous No.12670920]

>>12670032
clean your house you filthy subhuman

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670925]

whippit frothy and good until it looks like whip cream

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670931]

pu t your chocolate into a microwave wafe dish

[Anonymous No.12670936]

>>12669878
>leftover meatloaf
This is a delicious thing but if you're in poverty why don't you eat one loaf and save the other for later to make donairs.
It seems this cooking deliberatly for leftovers is a terrible memey trend.
I see this same disturbing trends with roasts, which the French are awful at.

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670939]

i dont know where you guys keep your microwaves but i keep mine on top of my fridge so it can be kinda awkward sometimes especially when you have to take a picture with one hand

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670947]

frothy af but i should have melted the chocolate chips first

>>12670936
>meatloaf
sir im making donairs and you're dumb

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670954]

combine in the choclate

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670963]

put batter into dish that has been lightly greased

>>12670920
i am hold on fuck

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670969]

always make sure to clean up chocolate while its still warm because jesus fuck its a bitch if you miss it
shit'll pull off paint

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670979]

oaky now that the cakes in the oven for 30 minutes on 325 we can start dealing with batch 3
I have an idea
you may not like it

[Anonymous No.12670993]

>>12670979
I hope I don’t like it

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12670999]

[Anonymous No.12671009]

NIGGA TURN A LIGHT ON ARE YOU POOR NIGGA DAMN

[Anonymous No.12671017]

>>12671009
He's very clearly a poor canadian retard with no control over his life

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12671044]

cakes done and looks nice

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12671049]

okay boys wish me luck
I have no idea if this is stupid or i'm a genius

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12671054]

seems like it'll be okay but I still feel like

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12671082]

lets get that bad boy out onto the tray
nice!

[Anonymous No.12671149]

I thought I was on /ck/ not /x/

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12671174]

chop up your toppings after washing your cutting boards

[Anonymous No.12671188]

Nekopara is entry level shit

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12671228]

cut into strips, the thinner the better
didnt bother grabbing my good knife so some of these are a big thicker than I'd like them to be but thats ok

it helps to split split it down the middle and then cut from center to crust, with an actually sharp knife you can really shave the meat
>>12671188
so was your mother son

[Anonymous No.12671234]

>>12670939
>Hydro One
Its the fucking Ontario guy I remember u

[Anonymous No.12671244]

>>12671234

Selection Brand, dumbass, how do you need Hydro One to identify this twit?

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12671263]

hm, i'm not sure on my method is ideal for batch 3 but I'll keep going slow and long, smells fantastic but this is what it looks like after 40 mins

[Anonymous No.12671322]

>>12671244
wtf are you talking about? Are you assuming every one in the world knows what selection brand is?

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12671324]

always appropriately label your batches so you know what they are

[Anonymous No.12671331]

>>12671263
bruh.. are you just wasting meat? I thought meat was super expensive in leafland

[Anonymous No.12671334]

>>12671322

Population of Ontario 14.32 million (2018) Presidents choice is Canadian. So maybe BC or Quebec? Population of Canada 37.06 million (2018).

It's a good bet.

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12671346]

>>12671331
no sir, I would never waste food.

[Anonymous No.12671351]

>>12671334
Hydro one is the ontario power company dumbass please die

[Anonymous No.12671353]

>>12671322

Who knows what Hydro One is? So Selection brand vs. 7.5 billion people narrows shit down.

[Anonymous No.12671358]

>>12671351

I know, you stupid cunt, I was just surprised that was your first fucking cue. You people all speak retard.

[Anonymous No.12671365]

>>12670032
I like your shorts

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12671381]

>>12671365
thank you

>>12671358
well how else could we communicate with you

[Anonymous No.12671382]

>>12671358
>>12671353
Hydro one was the first thing I googled so suck a dick and please fuck off most of the world doesn't live in your shitty country

[Anonymous No.12671385]

>>12671353
Only poor people buy presidents choice but all of Ontario knows Hydro One

[Anonymous No.12671388]

>>12671382

Exactly, that's why people from Ontario should fucking recognize our grocery store bullshit and not goddamn Hydro One. It's like saying I went to the The Bruce and expecting people to know what that means. Who the fuck here knows what The Bruce is? Give people a cunting reference they can google.

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12671401]

>>12671385
hows it feel paying more for products made in the same factory as the generics

>>12671388
the bruce peninsula or the stratford resteraunt

I don't see why you guys wouldn't just ask if you wanted to know where I am from

[Anonymous No.12671411]

>>12671401

Your food is kinda depressing, I wasn't really interested in it. But I was sad it came from here.

[Anonymous No.12671422]

>>12671401
These threads are one of the few things keeping me going. I love ya buddy. Don’t care what anybody says.

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12671430]

this is what i've been waiting for all night
and holy fuck this smells so god damn good
gonna let it rest a few minutes and then I'll cut into it
I'm pretty happy with how it turned outshits like a meat buntcake and the excess liquid drained off well

>>12671422
sad

[Anonymous No.12671434]

>>12671430
Goatse-core

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12671440]

fuck though this is going to be a real bitch to clean
I should be glad it didn't start a fire or anything though
I should see if my oven rack has a circle on the wires

[Anonymous No.12671448]

>>12671440
You should start an Instagram with this shit my dude. Take the world by storm

[Anonymous No.12671457]

>>12671082
>Out on the tray
>Tray
Nigga you using paper plates what drug you on nigga

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12671468]

I guess the steamer wouldnt be so bad if it wasn't for the sweetened condensed milk

>>12671448
#wifeymaterial

[Anonymous No.12671485]

>>12671430
Ah the ole meat ring. Brings back so many memories...

[Anonymous No.12671492]

>>12671468
#wannaeaturguttermeat

[Anonymous No.12671503]

>>12671448
Don't encourage mentally disabled people to pursue their delusions please

[Anonymous No.12671527]

>>12671503
Rip out your teeth please

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12671533]

I'm slightly disappointed, it just tastes like honey garlic breakfast sausages.
I mean, that kinda makes sense and it's still really good but I thought it would taste a bit smokier
also too fluffy, has the consistency of chicken while the rest is much more compressed, being similar to salami in density.


>>12671503
what you dont want me to break into your monopoly?

[Anonymous No.12671539]

This wasn't sad. This was something for the books.. Great job.

[Anonymous No.12671545]

>>12671503
You sound miserable, proceed to headbutt a knife.

[Anonymous No.12671558]

>>12671533
sleeping pill anon here
I'm glad I fell asleep hours ago, before this became a full blown fucking nightmare
good job anyway OP, quality thread

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12671596]

action shot of the sauce
>>12671558
welcome back and thank you

yeah it just goes to show how long it takes me to cook when I'm trying to document it
the going back and forth while posting is what does it
I could have made everything here in under an hour, the meat mixes and sauce took under 5 minutes each to actually do
I had the mixer out originally cause I was gonna make my own pitas as well but jesus christ

[Anonymous No.12671716]

>>12671596
OH GOD THE HORROR

[Anonymous No.12671800]

>>12671430
why

[Anonymous No.12671837]

>>12671440
>this is going to be a real bitch to clean
Considering how everything else looks in your kitchen you won't even try.

[Anonymous No.12671864]

Why is OP cooking in the dark

[Anonymous No.12672440]

>>12671864
you don't want him come to the light

[Anonymous No.12672449]

>>12669878
I would, but then I'd have to get off the couch.

[Anonymous No.12672474]

>>12669878

[Anonymous No.12672933]

>>12669878
thanks for an actually enjoyable thread. rare sight these days

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12672991]

>>12671837
you're kinda right

I'm going to boil it off probably
it's really the only effective way to get sugar out of those holes and is a lot less effort than scrubbing

[Anonymous No.12673044]

[Anonymous No.12673114]

>>12672991
ship me a donair kit
i do not have the fortitude to match (you)

[Anonymous No.12673133]

>>12670010
Jesus I'm realizing donair is the way you pronounce döner. Never change, Canadians.

[Anonymous No.12673146]

>>12670355
It's the cooking board, not the cleaning board.

[Anonymous No.12673158]

>>12670032
Are you this guy?

[Anonymous No.12673178]

might have to try this, thanks man

[Anonymous No.12673210]

>>12669878
OP, the sad part is that people are exposed to the inferior utter low tier crap that is donair and think it's something so craveable that they'd attempt to make it at home. The people who emigrated to Canada to sell the worlds worst rendition of spit roasted seasoned meat were desert dwellers of poverty status countries, who don't enjoy pork, or don't mix dairy and beef. They're the same cheap people who would rather use overly noxiously sugary sweetened condensed milk or nasty rancid herb flavored jarred ranch dressing than actually buy yogurt, grow some parsley or make a fresh ingredient tzatziki. Sad times. What's even sadder is the total lack of understanding how inferior donair is to a greek gyro of quality. You need to be in fertile land near the ocean to understand better Mediterranean food, not that poverty slop.

And, yes, you can make a loaf of gyro meat at home, and slice and griddle it til crispy. Five spice powder? oh no no no. Anise, cinnamon and cloves? It's going to then be topped with sweetened condensed milk? This might as well be a fairy bread cookalong.

OP, I see the knee brace, so I get that you are living in pain and have some mobility issues or other reasons not to wash down the surfaces, sweep, mop, pick up items dropped on the floor, but you should just get a maid in there once. Get off the computer and the escapist me too, and get on top of things. Sit on the floor with a garbage bag and just 100% of everything goes into it. Whatever you ever need again you can pick up at a thrift store.

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12673224]

>>12673158
yes

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12673679]

>>12673210
you know its a sad time when you want to fetishize the quality of a dirty half rancid meat spit covered in sand and body hair
to think you honestly believe that donairs are poverty food and that a gyro is some sort of high end food is hilarious
they're the same damn thing, slices of sausage fill.

do you honestly believe it was wrong for that anon to use their cheetos and 5 spice because you tasted it?
or do you believe that because you conform to a single generic recipe you are superior?

the only real pain I live with is knowing that people like you will never understand, not because you're unable, but because you're unwilling.

[Anonymous No.12673724]

>>12673679
get this man and his lady pillow friend a drink on my tab, solid burn

[Anonymous No.12673851]

>>12673679
I don't mind the pork but that condensed milk is really semen-like looking.

[None !2Code3TV3M No.12673891]

>>12673851
well yeah of course it does

the sauce is one important part that really hits it though
its a little sticky, sweet, and savory with a hint of tartness if you use regular vinegar
mine has less tartness because its from sauerkraut and is a little more savory from the cabbage flavour
it would have been a lot better if I didn't accidentally grab the wrong container and put in a bunch of damn pepper.

it can also be watered down further if desired, 1 can of condensed milk makes more than enough for 3 batches, I didnt even use it all and put some of it on the cake since it was just there
and after that soaked in it really looked like semen.
I left the cake folded in half overnight in the fridge, it's basically fudge
was fantastic with my coffee this morning

oh yeah went off on a tangent there, the other part that can really sell it is the type of cheese used.
old cheddar, frozen and refrozen, grated while frozen, it develops a different flavour profile that is hard to describe, and melts extremely readily.
I didn't have any on hand so I used a brick of the cheapest stuff I could grab in hopes it's been significantly abused

[Anonymous No.12675063]

>>12673679
Ice fucking cold

[Anonymous No.12675220]

I always thought donair was a depressing New Brunswick mistake on humanity, but this thread confirmed we have a serious abscess in Canada that is creating poverty food from good poverty food. It's like a video image that loses its resolution from so many trancodings. It just turns into a version of a septic tank.

I'm embarrassed to be Canadian because of this. I have roots out East and this was the worst thing I've seen. I'd rather eat potato blight potatoes from Ireland. We're not all like this. Canada has its Alabama and Mississippi too.