/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.12496857]

Ask someone who just bought a half full bottle of 82 year old Armagnac from retarded millenials at a vintage store for $23 anything

[Anonymous No.12496863]

>>12496857
>tag says $20
>paid $23
>bottle is fucked up
How does it feel to be retarded?

[Anonymous No.12496864]

Does storing it on its side help the sediment settle or something?

[Anonymous No.12496887]

If it's half full you prob just paid $23for a piss jar

[Anonymous No.12496888]

>>12496863
Feels like buying half a bottle from 1937 for $23

[Anonymous No.12496897]

>>12496857
When was the last time you rode a bicycle?

[Anonymous No.12496904]

>>12496857
Here's my question:

Did you realize that it had been refilled with goat piss before or after you bought the bottle?

[Anonymous No.12496907]

>>12496857
>>12496863
>>12496887
>>12496888
are you guys retarded he can flip it for 1.5 bil easy
http://services.runescape.com/m=itemdb_rs/Half_full_wine_jug/viewitem?obj=1989

[Anonymous No.12496918]

>>12496887
No lie, it's actual Armagnac. The cork is very dusty when i bought it. By mistake i flipped the bottle upside down and found out that it drips a few drops from the holes from when it was previously owned (who knows how many years). I sampled like 5ml and sure enough it was the single best drops of alcohol to ever touch my lips.

Looking online, i found out that the empty bottle alone costs ~$50. And the full bottle is going for ~$850 depending on the bottles' condition. Today was a good day

[Anonymous No.12496926]

>pay $23 for defective piss jar
>Feels he ripped off the silly milenials

Brilliant

[Anonymous No.12496929]

>drinking something that old
I don't care if it's supposed to be "good"
Wine is the oldest meme

[Anonymous No.12496941]

>>12496929
Armagnac is not wine, idiot.

[Anonymous No.12496942]

>>12496918
You do know that if the cork is defective the whole thing probably evaporated long ago and all it left was some sort of disgusting goo on the bottom?
My mom used to collect bottle and I've seen what happens to really old bottles.

Accurate picture of op sampling his piss

[Anonymous No.12496948]

>that nigger who doesn't realize spirits stop aging once you take them out of the barrel

sad!

[Anonymous No.12496966]

>>12496948
And on top of that doesn't know that if the cork is not fully sealing it the thing is basically ruined

[Anonymous No.12496970]

>>12496942
Lol no. The rate at which it drips is like 1 drop per 10 seconds. It's not a big opening at all, and given that it was stored in a cellar, the rate of evaporation would be miniscule.

It was the single best few drops of alcohol I've ever tasted. Try not to get jelly

[Anonymous No.12496976]

>>12496907
Kek if only flipping was paid that much

[Anonymous No.12496983]

>>12496857
How does it feel buying worthless old booze

[Anonymous No.12496988]

>>12496970
I am not stupid, you're just jealous of my tasty $23 piss!!

[Anonymous No.12496991]

>>12496941
That's another thing, who the hell cares what the gay French names of all the alcohols are? It's not like it makes you smart for knowing that, faggot

[Anonymous No.12497008]

>>12496863
>>bottle is fucked up
You absolute fucking idiot

[Anonymous No.12497019]

>>12496988
Whatever you say. I thought I'd just share this on here since buying over 80 year old brandy for +$850 is a luxury no one in my income bracket would ever elect to purchase. That's literally 2 months rent where I'm from - and I just bought half a bottle for $23 and it tastes like the nectar of the gods

[Anonymous No.12497044]

>>12496970
>given that it was stored in a cellar
How do you know? The people who sold it to you said so? Of course they'd say that if they're trying to sell you a shitty contaminated and ruined bottle of wine. Anyone with common sense knows it not being stored in a cellar would mean it's ruined as well. It's in their interest to lie. And the fact that the cork is leaking at all says a lot. Who would even try to sell that shit in that state? You got scammed, not them. You paid $23 for a bottle of dusty vinegar.

[Anonymous No.12497080]

>>12497044
Except they didn't say anything or know anything about the bottle. That's precisely why it was priced at $20. I got it at an antique/vintage hipster store in Quebec. It was on display in a shady spot in the store. The reason why I'm confident it was stored well is because I'm familiar with how antique and vintage retailers operate - and that's through auctions or through other vintage/antique stores: and they usually stores their wares adequately enough.

And No. 2 is that I tried the liquor itself when I realized that it did drip when I flipped it over (and this was after I bought it because I just liked the bottle as a piece itself). And it was exceedingly flavourful and complex tasting. I don't know why everyone is being such pretentious and self proclaimed 'experts' all of the sudden. What makes you so sure that it's ruined? The self propellant crap that you use to fuel your ego with each post you make on here, I guess

[Anonymous No.12497085]

>>12496857
OP buys $20 half filled old bottle for $23.
>Can't verify contents could be piss.
Thinks he swindled idiots.
>OP is retarded

[Anonymous No.12497104]

>>12497080
>What makes you so sure that it's ruined?
Because it's way more likely that someone bought a pretty bottle from the original owner and put their own shit in it and it sat on a kitchen cabinet out in the open for 20-30 years rather than you found a pristine bottle of $900 liquor that you can resell. Everyone wants to find a valuable object in an antique store. It's like winning the lottery.

And what you said didn't really instill much confidence in your reasoning skills. You have no proof of how the bottle was stored or its chain of custody. But you think you do because you're "familiar with how antique and vintage retailers operate" which is fucking stupid. You're putting your trust in people who live or die based on selling overpriced worthless shit to people.

As you described, a bottle of the real stuff is so expensive that someone in your income bracket would never buy it. So how do you know how it's supposed to taste? It could have been a $100 bottle of something poured into this bottle. You're the one acting like a pretentious expert because you saw an old bottle in an antique store.

Keep lashing out because we're raining on your parade. But you'll thank us for not being excitable fucktards when you calm down and realize you got screwed.

[Anonymous No.12497110]

>>12496907
That's for an unopened verified bottle you fucktard.
>OP got a half full old bottle of questionable contents from questionable people.
Any self respecting wine dealer would have a wine of considerable value in a more secure area and would not allow it's sale to occur without him present. OP's bottle is either filled with cheap wine or old vinegar.

[Anonymous No.12497117]

>>12497110
did you even look at the link you retard?

[Anonymous No.12497131]

>>12497117
Do you even know how to buy vintage wine? you needle brained prick.

[Anonymous No.12497132]

>>12497110
Here's what likely happened.
>original owner died and had an empty bottle of this shit
>family either donated it to a goodwill or sold it in an estate sale
>someone recognized the brand and bought the empty bottle
>put some cheap cognac in it
>set it out in their home bar or in their kitchen
>poured some for guests and used it as a boomer talking point
>sat there for decades
>cork dries out because it wasn't stored properly
>eventually some antique store gets it
>probably bought/sold a couple of times
>op finds it an an antique store
>thinks he struck gold
>comes here to brag
>gets snapped back to reality by based 4channarian cynics
>starts crying and accusing everyone being jealous of his valuable antique
this is going in my cringe collection next to the guy with the $250 cast iron pan. shit, OP might be the same guy.

[Anonymous No.12497147]

>>12497131
are you serious? the post you're quoting is a joke about runescape

[Anonymous No.12497152]

>>12497104
With every post you make it's like my own personal rendition of a dancing retard who thinks he's good at dancing but actually looks like a leper who was given a shekel.

1. a 350ml bottle of the cheapest spirit costs $18.50CAD where I'm from.

2. The empty fucking bottle retails for ~$50CAD online, so at the very least I flipped a profit on the purchase.

3. Does having some hipshits thinking they're smart to pour 350ml of the cheapest bottle of henny into a vintage 82 year old bottle only to sell it for $20 in a store that sells mostly clothes and other retro trinkets sound like a perfect money making scheme to you? Did your mom smack your head too hard when you were a kid?

Fuck, I can't wait to see what you're going to try and reply with next. Whatever it is, I bet you're going to sound very intelligent and condescending because you know what you're talking about

[Anonymous No.12497153]

>>12497132
I'm just laughing like you are. It's good that there are still some based 4channers out there trying to speak reason to idiots.

[Anonymous No.12497156]

>>12497147
That's not mine. some other idiot defending OP put it there.

[Anonymous No.12497169]

I guess the Brandy was so strong it made OP delusional

[Anonymous No.12497179]

>>12496857
What does decades long stored piss taste like?

Oh wait you already answered
>>12497080
>exceedingly flavourful and complex
Maybe I'll try storing my own piss now and to taste it in a few years, thanks OP.

[Anonymous No.12497183]

>>12496857
Someone sold you an old bottle half full of hobo urine for $23.

[Anonymous No.12497186]

>>12497169
Probably got a mouth full of cheap wine vinegar and is puking his guts out.

[Anonymous No.12497190]

>>12497152
So now you've gone from "it's totally the real stuff you guys are wrong" to "okay it's not the real stuff but I'll make a profit off the bottle anyways". The absolute fucking state.

[Anonymous No.12497196]

>>12497186
it's not wine you fucking pleb

[Anonymous No.12497204]

>>12497196
You're right, the very smart liqueur connoisseur bought a $23 jar of stale piss as if it were some vintage brandy

[Anonymous No.12497231]

>>12497156
Imagine getting so assblassted you backpedal on any criticism.

[Anonymous No.12497237]

>>12497190
Dawg you're retarded and your logic is retarded - notice how you don't even deny the authenticity of the bottle and the contents of it (it's goat piss lol).

Of course it's fucking obvious that there isn't a 100% bulletproof guarantee that it's not the original brandy in the bottle. It's just you and your self righteous piece of shit "i'm going to reduce and render everything pretentious and ambiguous" attitude that's to thank for all this. You must get mad pussy for your sherlock holmes copy catting. You might be a pale little boy, but if I didn't know any better, i'd say you were a little jew bitch from the way you're able to sow discord and relativity into a conversation. In fact I'm pretty confident that that's what you are.

[Anonymous No.12497241]

>>12497132
please post the cast iron pan anon

[Anonymous No.12497245]

>>12497237
t. drank 40 year old piss

[Anonymous No.12497252]

>>12497245
never change based retardchan

[Anonymous No.12497260]

>>12497245
Not only did he drank piss, he paid $20 just to get a taste and is seriously thinking in making a profit from it.

[Anonymous No.12497334]

>>12497237
I have disputed the contents. I said it's probably cheaper shit added by someone who owned the bottle. If you've never had the original shit, how would you know it's authentic? You just said it tastes good to you. How do you know the difference between cheap cognac and fine Armagnac? Protip: you don't. You already admitted you've never had the original. At least have the dignity to not fool yourself. Use some critical thinking here.
>>12497241
>>/ck/thread/S12331592

[Anonymous No.12497350]

>>12496907
How the fuck is a worthless item like that worth 1.5b

[Anonymous No.12497354]

>>12497152
I really hope that's not how much 350ml of spirits costs. How can they possibly justify that?

[Anonymous No.12497410]

>>12497350
IIRC they made it so drinking from a jug of wine removes all the wine at once instead of a jug of wine having two jugs. Basically the item became impossible to obtain and was tradable so it became worth a shit ton for collectors. Probably a better explanation on the wiki or something.

[Anonymous No.12497428]

>>12496991
>Being proud of your ignorance
STFU

[Anonymous No.12497432]

>>12496918
>By mistake i flipped the bottle upside down and found out that it drips a few drops from the holes
So it's fucking worthless because there has been no seal for who the fuck knows how long.

[Anonymous No.12497516]

>>12496918
its only worth the value of the bottle. But at least you made a profit.

[Anonymous No.12497563]

>be me
>chilling at my moms antique shop with my buddy
>suddenly, the antique china starts to rattle and light fixtures shake and swing
>oh boy.. not again
>the smell of rotten meat soaked in vinegar fills my nostrils
>the fattest, dumbest idiot waddles in and starts critiquing every little thing on the shelves, acting like he knows shit about antiques
>my buddy and I can hardly keep ourselves from gagging
>I go to the back and grab some old bottle and fill it with halfway with old bacon grease, motor oil and a beer I left open for like 5 hours
>bring it out front and place it somewhere random
>"oh wow Armagnac its still good too!"
>starts trying to haggle with me but at this point im about to pass out from the stench
>"uhh, sure $23 just take it and get the fuck out of here"
>"heh, stupid zoomers.." he wheezes smugly
>i open a window and stick my head out of it to get some fresh air until he leaves the store

[Anonymous No.12497573]

>>12496857
Have you shoved the bottle neck up your arse yet? Asking for a friend who really wants to know.

[Anonymous No.12497626]

>>12497563
Imagine being so assmad that you typed out all this shit

[Anonymous No.12497639]

>>12497626
Imagine being so butthhrt and protective over a jar of aged piss that you can't appreciate that at least a funny gt came out of the whole ordeal

[Anonymous No.12497702]

>>12497019
Never mind the haters OP, they're just jelly. Nice find.

[Anonymous No.12497719]

>>12496857
>bought an opened bottle
>accuses anyone else of being a retard

[Anonymous No.12497731]

>>12497008
>questioning an 82-year old bottle of crazy juice that latched itself to the wall is idiotic
have sex

[Anonymous No.12497740]

>>12496970
>the rate of evaporation would be miniscule.
>82 year old
minuscule is more than enough

[Anonymous No.12497887]

>>12497132
Based

[Anonymous No.12498389]

>>12497008
thanks for outing yourself moron

[Anonymous No.12498394]

>>12497428
>thinking that being pretentious means you're smart
gb2 redit

[Anonymous No.12498401]

>>12496857
That is so far past peak you would have been better off buying a one year old anything.

[Anonymous No.12498430]

Do any of you guys know how to legally sell alcohol? I have a bunch of unopened bottles of some nice stuff but I don’t drink.

[Anonymous No.12498574]

>>12497350
rs3 gp is incredibly inflated and value is focused in on limited uniques like phats and santas

[Anonymous No.12498976]

>>12496857
Why does my dick bend like that?

[Anonymous No.12498987]

>>12497080
>it was exceedingly flavourful and complex tasting
Fucking based

[Anonymous No.12499045]

>>12498976
Tiny veins that burst or something. Its usually progressive. Not of medical concern, only cosmeticially.

[Anonymous No.12499141]

>>12499045
By progressive do you mean more angle? Because that's definitely what's happening to me, it's like holding a coffee mug at this point.

[Anonymous No.12499173]

>>12496918
>I sampled like 5ml and sure enough it was the single best drops of alcohol to ever touch my lips.
This is probably the most legitimate COPE I've every seen in 4chan.

[Anonymous No.12499179]

>>12498394
>Thinking knowing stuff makes you pretentious.

[Anonymous No.12499228]

>>12497350
All trades like that are money laundering.

[Anonymous No.12499235]

>>12497410
I reckon I could pour half of it out carefully. That munted bottle won't stop me.

[Anonymous No.12499293]

>>12499045
Thanks that's good to know.

[Anonymous No.12499307]

>>12496857
>alcohol is good because it's old

lol

[Anonymous No.12499323]

>>12497241
Dear god, that retarded pan handle still haunts me

[Anonymous No.12499325]

>>12497702
Samefagging is unhealthy, OP

[Anonymous No.12500364]

>>12496864
lol

>>12496857
>bottle is closed with a fucked up broken wine cork
>armagnac is genuine
doubt.png

[Anonymous No.12501262]

>>12499045
I thought mine was from too many waistband boners and sleeping on it.

[Anonymous No.12501284]

>>12496991
>It's not like it makes you smart for knowing that, faggot

Probably not but being this happy with your own ignorance sure makes you look like a cunt

[Anonymous No.12501309]

Cool anon

I dont drink but that bottle is pretty unique

[Anonymous No.12501500]

>>12496857
>82 years old
Hahahahahaaaa you actually believe that hahahhaa lol faggot

[Anonymous No.12501537]

The original 1937 bottlings don’t have a volume or ABV statement, OP’s bottle is probably 5-6 years old at best.

[Anonymous No.12501547]

>>12497080
>flavourful and complex tasting
Dude it’s fucking Armagnac, not Scotch whisky.

[Anonymous No.12501566]

ahahahaha how does it feel to be suckered you fucking idiot

[Anonymous No.12501609]

>>12501537
This kills the OP

[Anonymous No.12501630]

>>12501537
That's stamped for distributive purposes you half a meatball

[Anonymous No.12501664]

OP out here drinking haunted basement slime, his about to see the red man come back to him in biggum hallucinations/vision trips and find him spirit animal

[Anonymous No.12501890]

>>12501630
But that’s wrong, you fucking retard.

[Anonymous No.12501906]

>>12501890

So I wonder how much OP's bottle is actually worth? My guess is fuck all. Imagine getting tucked up by Quebecois hipsters. The shame.

[Anonymous No.12501966]

>>12501906
Even if it were full and properly sealed it might be worth thirty or forty dollars, but as it’s only a few years old and whatever’s in it has no provenance, it’s not worth shit. OP is a fag, and got taken for $23. The truly hilarious thing is that he’s on here big-noting himself. How fucking sad is that?

[Anonymous No.12501968]

This is what 23 dollars gets you in QUEBEC.

[Anonymous No.12501980]

>>12501968
Now that i see it next to a real vintage bottle, that's obviously made to look older than it is. and it seems like a knock-off too. op thought he found an eames chair when really it was just an ikea replica.

[Anonymous No.12501992]

>>12496991
Fuck off from this board pleb

[Anonymous No.12501999]

>>12501980
No, it’s not a knock-off, just a much more recent bottling. They’ve kept this distinctive bottle for many years, presumably so retards will pay top price for it thinking they’re sticking it to the man.

[Anonymous No.12502113]

>>12501999
The fact that it’s a VS not a VSOP is also funny, as it’s not even their most valuable vintage.
Wonder why OP hasn’t chimed back in telling us how I’m wrong? Could it be because he’s heading back to the shop to complain?

[Anonymous No.12502283]

Where’d you go OP? We’re not done making fun of you.

[Anonymous No.12503870]

>>12502283
kek. bmup

[Anonymous No.12503902]

Oh OP you dumbmother fucker, don’t worry you have a neat bottle now. It might not be worth shit, but hey at least you have it

[Anonymous No.12503906]

>>12496857
>half full bottle of 82 year old Armagnac
As a French guy who knows his shit, I can tell you, looking at this picture, that this bottle is neither 82 years old, nor half full, nor filled with Armagnac.

[Anonymous No.12503910]

>>12503906
Based frog.

[Anonymous No.12503929]

>>12496918
I'd empty it and just keep the bottle, shit looks pretty rad if you cleaned it up a bit

[Anonymous No.12503947]

>>12503929
>empty booze bottles as decoration
Is it time for the 1970’s Italian Trattoria aesthetic to return? Maybe you want a fishing net full of plastic seafood suspended from the ceiling and some nice candles in the Chianti bottles too?
I’m sure the people that make fake plastic grapes will be overjoyed too.

[Anonymous No.12503959]

>>12502113
He probably started the thread as a lighthearted joke but you gave it a mean-spirited turn and sucked out all the levity so he left it for dead.

[Anonymous No.12503974]

>>12503906
>French
>proper punctuation

liar .

[Anonymous No.12503977]

>>12503959
Welcome back, OP!

[Anonymous No.12503992]

The best thing about this is that armagnac (like all spirits) stabilizes when it is bottled. It literally doesn't change from its first year in the bottle to its 83rd year. What matters in the maturation period in cask before bottling. That is what determines quality, which is why VS, VSOP, XO etc. are based on cask years before bottling. It's also why whisky comes with an age statement rather than a vintage. 20 year old malt bottled in 1970 won't have an age advantage over 20 year old malt bottled in 2018. Similarly, a 1979 armagnac bottled this year will be a 40 year old drink and completely different to the same armagnac bottled in 1999 and drunk today.

[Anonymous No.12504026]

>>12503974
I'm not him, but another frenchman, what I was taught in school is to put a space before ! and ?, but not .
So like this !
Or this ?
But not like this .

[Anonymous No.12504044]

>>12501537
OOF!

[Anonymous No.12504067]

>>12497626
Imagine that's actually an accurate reflection of you, Mr Dunning-Kruger.

[Anonymous No.12504072]

>>12499307
The hilarious thing is that spirits don't age in bottles like beer and wine do. All the aging it'll ever get was done in the barrel. Thus, old bottles of spirits sell for high prices simply because they're collectible, not because they taste any better than the newest batch.

[Anonymous No.12504096]

>>12497563
holy shit, you're an even bigger faggot than op

[Anonymous No.12504097]

>>12501968
>>12501980
>>12501999
>>12502113
HAHAHAHA, I just looked up prices and it retails for just $29 online at the cheapest. Even examples from 1960 sell for 'only' ~$150. Ergo, OP bought a leaky, spoiled bottle that isn't even all that expensive OR rare for almost the market value of a new, good one.

https://www.wine-searcher.com/find/st+vivant+v+s+o+p+armagnac+france?Xsavecurrency=Y&Xcurrencycode=USD

[Anonymous No.12504133]

Oh man we have to keep this thread going. OP will probably be logging on again in another six hours and I want to make sure he sees we're still pissing ourselves laughing at his expense.

[Anonymous No.12504175]

OP is a full blown retard

[Anonymous No.12504177]

>>12504133
If he does, tell him to click the link I posted here >>12504097. At least the bottle looks nice, huh?

[Anonymous No.12504204]

>>12504097
>wine searcher

Armagnac isn't wine, nice try.

[Anonymous No.12504316]

>>12504204
Nice try too, but prices are prices. Of course I know Armagnac is a spirit; have I got the right product, or not?

[Anonymous No.12504328]

>>12496857
Once bought a 1963 bottle of Irish Whiskey from a co-worker for 20$. They had broken the seal, but it was still full.

I could've sold it for close to 150$ but since the seal was broken I ended up drinking it

[Anonymous No.12504348]

I don't get it, why are you retards tossing shit around and desperately trying to make fun of OP? $23 is next to nothing - that's clearly not a fake bottle - and it looks unique. Am i missing something here or do i need to be disabled in order to understand the humour ITT?

[Anonymous No.12504355]

>>12504348

The funny is that OP came on acting like king shit expecting everyone to suck his cock because he made mad $$$ with his bargain hunting. Actually he got ripped off, badly, and so now we're laughing at him.

[Anonymous No.12504357]

>>12504348
OP is a colossal joke because they're so deluded they thought a common leaky bottle of spoiled brandy was a priceless 82 year old treasure. We quickly disabused him of such notions.

[Anonymous No.12504360]

>>12504348
It's not that everyone's shitting on OP for the fruitless expenditure, it's that OP was in full damage control and cope mode, all while putting up a pretentious and smug front when other anons called him out. He was literally asking for it

[Anonymous No.12504365]

>>12504357
And to add to this, he could've bought a new, fresh bottle of the exact same brandy for a couple dollars more. He blew his money on actual garbage, and he's PROUD of it.

[Anonymous No.12504385]

>>12504348
Did you not bother reading the thread before chiming in, you blathering nincompoop?

[Anonymous No.12504432]

>>12497132
it's actual 230 dollars idiot. fucking summer newfags already

[Anonymous No.12504773]

>>12504316
I don't trust inexpert web sites. I would not use a site about wine for spirits any more than I would trust a supplier of beer to evaluate wine.

[Anonymous No.12504788]

What really happened is OP got a cool looking liquor bottle for 20$ and some liquor to boot.

[Anonymous No.12505284]

>>12496857
most likely its going to taste like shit because the alcohol is all evaporaded and fucked up the cork while doing so

i recently found a bottle each of '83 Martini Bianco and '85 Remy Martin in my Grandmas cellar and thats exactly what it was like

[Anonymous No.12505494]

>>12504328
How could you have sold it if the seal was broken

[Anonymous No.12506490]

My fuckin sides
Probably the best thread on the entire site
I own a blow to all of you
Pic semi related,now excuse
I'm gonna enjoy mi ban and my man

[Anonymous No.12506548]

>>12506490
I'm gay btw if that matters

[Anonymous No.12506625]

Has anyone checked Canadian newspapers for "idiot beaten up by hipsters in antique shop, 'I just wanted my money back' sobs victim"?

[Anonymous No.12506646]

>>12496918

>cork has holes in it

You have a $23 bottle of vinegar.