How can I eat more calories

[Anonymous No.12482113]

I'm a skeleton whos stuggling to meet my 2500cal target.
I can't drink milk - lactose intolerant
I can't eat too hard things like nuts - I have braces
What can I have that will easily let me load up on a shitload of calories without much effort and that isnt sugar?

[Anonymous No.12482117]

unironically soylent, its 400 calories a bottle and isnt just pure sugar and shit

[Anonymous No.12482135]

>>12482113
unronically chicken nuggets or peanut butter

[Anonymous No.12482151]

>>12482113
>take can of coconut cream
>dump into blender
>add some ice
>and a protein powder of your choice, fruit, cocoa powder.
One 400ml (13 oz) can of coconut cream has like 900 calories.

[Anonymous No.12482167]

>>12482113
Try corn grits, oatmeal, polenta, etc. You can make then sweet or savory. Cheesy grits are amazing.
Eggs, canned meats, potatoes, rice. All are easy and will fill you.

[Anonymous No.12482175]

>>12482117
I've thought about that a lot, my only worry being if the phytoestrogen spammers are right.
also its a bit expensive in terms of $/cal but i guess if milk and nuts aren't an option i can't be too picky with that anyway

[Anonymous No.12482179]

If you want to gain weight, go for keto. A lot of meat and load up on fat, calorie intake will go through the roof.

[Anonymous No.12482186]

>>12482175
Yeah if weight gain is the main thing just buy mass gainer and do it that way, no need to spend a bunch of money on bottles of soylent

[Anonymous No.12482192]

Lmao just eat dude

[Anonymous No.12482252]

>>12482113

Look into Lactaid or any other brand of lactose-free milk (that's what I drink).

As for bulking up in weight, I recommend Vitol Russian Bear 5000 Weight Gainer. My powerlifter friend used it and gained about 3-4 pounds per week.

[Anonymous No.12482322]

>>12482113
hamburgers (add bacon)
pb&js
meat and bean burritos (you don't need cheese use enchilada suace)
roasts (lots of potatoes)
fried chicken
pulled pork
ribs
corn dogs
polish sausages
spaghetti and meat sauce

There's an endless amount of cheap, delicious stuff you could be mowing on. Stop being a cooklet.

[Anonymous No.12482331]

>>12482113
probably something like a lot of large supreme pizzas
i mean if you look at little caesar's calorie counts it's kind of disgusting how many calories a single pizza contains
the deep dish supreme has over 3000 caloies

[Anonymous No.12482334]

>>12482113
Just food. Any food. See a doctor if you don't have a healthy appetite. You might have fucked up digestive organs.

[Anonymous No.12482339]

>>12482252
>>12482186
>>12482151
>>12482117
Don't be a stupid faggot and buy factory food, for fuck's fuck.
>buy weight gainer bruh!
>>12482192
>Lmao just eat dude
No shit baka
>>12482167
>Cheesy grits
Lactose intolerant
Your other ideas are fine.
Baked beans (easy as fuck to make it's ketchup, worcestershire sauce, and brown sugar on Northern Beans, you can even add mollasses if you just must)
Use dry bread to sop up all the grease from your meats
onion rings
fries
>muh braces
Don't be a pussy a lot of us had them
Doritos
Cheetos
Chips
Plenty of soda if you aren't getting flabby (watch it you'll turn into a balloon this is so efffective)
fried potatoes and onions (use bacon grease)
breakfast sausage links
breakfast sausage patties
deviled eggs
goulash
steaks
pork chops
biscuits with honey on them
pillsbury cinnamon buns

>Na-no, just buy $45 worth of manufactured powders
You fucking spoiled babies make me sick.

[Anonymous No.12482349]

>>12482331
>pizza
LACTOSE INTOLERANT
A
C
TOSE IN
TOLERAN
T

Why can't people read?

[Anonymous No.12482350]

>>12482339
So you're fine with processed shitty fried food but the idea of whey protein just disgusts you?

[Anonymous No.12482368]

>>12482113
Become an American

[Anonymous No.12482370]

>>12482113
lactaid d00d

[Anonymous No.12482375]

>>12482113
Butter

[Anonymous No.12482376]

>>12482113
One of the things /fit/gays eat to bulk up is chicken breasts because its protein density is really high compared to alternatives.

Go to the meat counter and just look for bulk chicken breasts.
Costco (in PA) has them for like $2.99/lb, my local grocery has a bargain bin that varies from $0.99/lb to $1.99/lb so I just load up on a ton and freeze whatever I'm not going to eat in the next three days. I'm just fat and I like chicken.

Also don't try to eat big meals. Break up your meals into multiple mini meals spread out over the day. Like 5-6. Your body adapts to what it thinks is normal. When it thinks you eat one bigass load of whoppers a day, it'll just not be hungry until it's eating time. If it thinks food comes in small amounts over the whole day, it'll adjust and be constantly hungry.

>>12482339
>Don't be a pussy a lot of us had them
I personally broke off my permanent lower brace while chewing on a rare steak. Your jaw is generally stronger than glue and wires. It's a valid concern.

[Anonymous No.12482379]

>>12482350
>So you're fine with processed shitty fried food but the idea of whey protein just disgusts you?
Correct.
Let's help you figure it out
Onion rings
>onion
>flour
>salt
>egg
>oil

Or Memepowder
>too long to list

You tell me what shit you want your kidneys and liver dealing with.
If you have thrown all health concerns to the wind in pursuit of gainz, then fuck it.
If you are a human at all interested in not being hooked up to a dialysis machine when you're 35 on a 13 year waiting list, just eat food.

[Anonymous No.12482387]

>>12482349
you said you cant drink milk, and it aint like little caesars uses real fucking cheese anyway, carl

[Anonymous No.12482388]

>>12482376
>I personally broke off my permanent lower brace while chewing on a rare steak. Your jaw is generally stronger than glue and wires. It's a valid concern.
Fair enough. I did have one come off and it's not only a valid concern, at least when I had them it was expected I'd get one or two.
I'm not expecting OP to grind through dried corn shucks.
Mine came off a right molar and the Orthodonist said just wait until the next appointment.

[Anonymous No.12482390]

>>12482113
Start cooking with lard and eating more fried food. Simple.

[Anonymous No.12482394]

>>12482387
>little caesars
Maybe he can handle cheese but just about all cheese even little caesars has milk protein in it.
He'll have to try, my wife couldn't have any cheese. I'd go sleep on the couch the gas was intolerable.

[Anonymous No.12482413]

>>12482379
If your primary concern is health maybe you shouldn't be eating fucking onion rings lmao

[Anonymous No.12482422]

>>12482113
You could try following this guy: https://face2faceafrica.com/article/meet-andre-rush-the-white-house-chef-with-a-staggering-24-inch-biceps
>His food intake on a regular basis? “On a typical day, he starts his morning off with 12 to 24 hard-boiled eggs (two are whole eggs, the rest are egg whites), a peanut butter shake (with protein powder, blended quinoa, and nonfat milk), greek yogurt, oatmeal, and lean turkey. He brings turkey in Ziploc bags to snack on in the gym. In the afternoon, he devours four whole roasted chickens.”
Maybe like, not start with 24 eggs off the bat but you get the idea.

[Anonymous No.12482427]

>>12482413
>you shouldn't be eating fucking onion rings lmao
Why, what's wrong with them?

[Anonymous No.12482508]

>>12482113
bruh you can eat anything with braces don't listen to the dentists rules they're autistic.

[Anonymous No.12482513]

>>12482422

>final boss of cooking simulator

[Anonymous No.12482515]

>>12482394
Oh man should have called me over... Or just leave her bedroom window open and Ill stick a pvc pipe inside with my nose on the other end. Sniiiiiiiff

[Anonymous No.12482579]

Real shit, eat a lot of peanut butter. It’s super calorie dense. Also, ramen. A single pack will run you around 400 calories.

[Anonymous No.12482580]

>>12482394
maybe i'm just different, but i cant eat all the cheese, ice cream, and yogurt i want, but when it comes to milk i can only drink about half a gallon till i get the gas
and my skelly, 135, ass has eaten a whole medum pizza before and never gotten any lactose issues. it was from dominos so maybe they use less lactose shit. who knows

[Anonymous No.12482583]

>>12482113
Drink small amounts of milk until you are no longer lactose intolerant. Then drink large amounts of milk.

[Anonymous No.12482584]

>>12482113
Beef and potatoes

[Anonymous No.12482634]

>>12482113
There's no such thing as "needing" 2500cal.

Your body knows what it wants. Eat when it tells you it's hungry.

[Anonymous No.12482644]

>>12482634
Reading comprehension: 0

He wants to bulk up, not eat maintenance levels.

[Anonymous No.12482666]

>>12482113
>That night when Bobby could have, and should have, scored, but didn't.
The boy ain't right.

[Anonymous No.12482742]

go raw carnivore
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIEiE-hnAUXUZNNeMJsZBYA/videos
this guy is pretty smart in the diets concepts and execution, just no matter what don't listen to severige he's the carnivore version of vegan gains

[Anonymous No.12483044]

>>12482427
maybe the fact that they are full of transfats and grease and that they hold no nutritional value what so ever? All fats are not created equal and can be really hard to break down if they are heavily processed bullshit. they are ok to eat every while but not all the time. if you want to gain mass just get muscle.

[Anonymous No.12484399]

>>12482135
>peanut butter
it's a bitch to clean off of braces

[Anonymous No.12484417]

>>12482394
>just about all cheese even little caesars has milk protein in it.
Lactose is a sugar, not a protein, and lactose is broken down into lactic acid during the cheesemaking process. The more aged a cheese is, the less lactose it will contain. A typical cheddar cheese has less than 10% the lactose that its milk had.

[Anonymous No.12484429]

>>12484399
Just lick it then

[Anonymous No.12484467]

>>12482742
>Frank “Chud” Tufano

>pretty smart

>an exemplary of GAINING weight

Thank you for the heartiest laugh I’ve had all week

[Anonymous No.12484476]

>>12482113
hi buddy; how about Chipotle burrito once a day? if braces fuck ya over, get a bowl with no tortilla - load that sonuvabitch up with guacamole and corn (the greatest empty carb ever).

[Anonymous No.12484516]

>>12484467
>9 hrs late
t. vegan

[Anonymous No.12485624]

>>12484467
i bet you don't even know what chud means

[Anonymous No.12485730]

>>12482113
Carbs.

[Anonymous No.12486718]

>>12482113
Everything else is tl;dr bullshit, just watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XoCQIMfXPa4 and do your own version of that.

That plus chipotle got me from 130s to 150s easily, just make sure you work out so you build muscle and don't end up shaped like a pregnant centipede

[Anonymous No.12486906]

>>12482113
Protein shakes. Ask /fit/ for powder recs. Other than that chicken and rice baby.

[Anonymous No.12486912]

>>12482379
But onion rings have no protons. If you're trying to gain weight you want max protein.

[Anonymous No.12487056]

>>12486912
>>12486906
More protein = more satiety = fewer calories. Load up on carbs to gain weight. Get more fiber to push things through so you have more room to eat. Beer is high in calories and usually pretty easy to knock a few back around dinner. Pasta is usually really simple to make, and can have good macros.

[Anonymous No.12487060]

>>12482113
BREAD

[Anonymous No.12487433]

>>12482113
I had the same issue, didn't matter how much I ate, never gained weight. Added about 1/3 gal whole Lactaid a day, broken up throughout the day of course, gained more muscle and weight every single week than in my best year prior. Got stretch marks all over arms and legs, tried to ease up but was addicted to the gains

[Anonymous No.12487454]

>>12486718
And don't forget the most important ingredient: steroids!

[Anonymous No.12487554]

>>12482113
Pasta. Lots of pasta. Or other carbs.

[Anonymous No.12487557]

>>12482113
>Waaah I can't get enough cawowies~
I will find you and I will hurt you.

[Anonymous No.12487571]

check you blood sugar level and maybe TSH hormone. If you have a mild diabetes or something similar, eating a lot mor calories makes more harm than benefit..
Belive me, i am almost 190 cm and 50 kg, in this situation advices like "just eat" does not help

[Anonymous No.12487744]

>>12482339
>lactose intolerant means all dairy is evil!
Hard cheeses like cheddar have their lactose completely eaten up during the cheesemaking process. They are safe for lactose intolerant people to eat.

Also, Lactase tablets exist. They contain the missing enzyme used to break down lactose and work like a motherfucking charm. Lactaid is the brand name product, but there are also generics that work just as well.
T., also lactose intolerant.

[Anonymous No.12487755]

>>12482113
Has avocados. Good fats and one of them is 400 calories.