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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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12383275 No.12383275 [Reply] [Original]

>It’s about to become much harder to get your crab and lobster fix, because one of the most popular seafood chains in America just officially went under: Red Lobster has filed for bankruptcy after blowing all of their capital on a six-hour commercial set entirely to Beatles music.

>In a statement sent to shareholders yesterday, Red Lobster revealed that the company no longer had the funds to stay afloat following a short-sighted decision to pack a six-hour commercial with dozens upon dozens of exorbitantly expensive Beatles songs, which infamously cost hundreds of thousands of dollars each in licensing fees. The commercial, directed by Peter Jackson and aired uninterrupted over the course of ABC’s Sunday night primetime block, reportedly cost $16.5 billion to produce and featured over 100 recordings from the Beatles’ back catalog—including outtakes and rarities—which were played over sumptuous footage of various Red Lobster menu items being drizzled with butter or sizzling over a woodfire grill.

>“The Beatles are the most universally beloved band of all time, and while their songs are expensive to license, we truly believed that the steep initial costs of padding out a six-hour commercial with their music would pay off exponentially, because if we could make the Beatles synonymous with Red Lobster, then we’d win the business of their billions of fans worldwide,” said the restaurant’s statement to shareholders, adding that they originally projected that the commercial would result in a 20,000% increase in sales. “All signs pointed towards it being low risk with tremendous upside, but the reality is that margins are razor-thin in casual dining, and though it’s hard to think of a safer gamble than the most popular rock band in human history, unfortunately, sometimes even the safest gambles can have catastrophic consequences.”

>> No.12383278

>Red Lobster noted that the commercial did in fact lead to a 3% spike in sales, but this ultimately did not create enough revenue to compensate for a six-hour ad that cost $45 million per minute to produce. While the company insisted that they still stand by their decision to shoot the commercial, they admitted that in retrospect, some of the expenditures might’ve been gratuitous, such as licensing “Hey Jude” twice so they could play it layered over itself to make it sound more powerful and loud, or paying both for the Yellow Submarine album and the soundtrack to the Yellow Submarine film, not realizing they were pretty much the same thing.

>This is a truly devastating—and, in hindsight, wholly unnecessary—turn of events for a restaurant chain that was actually performing fairly well financially up until this point and would’ve likely continued turning robust profits for years had the company not gone all-out on a $16.5-billion Hail Mary. While their six-hour commercial was undeniably impressive and definitely a treat for Beatles fans, unfortunately, Red Lobster went overboard with this one, and now their ship has sunk for good.
RIP in peace Red Lobster.
Your cheese biscuits will be dearly missed.

>> No.12383288

If I can tell it's satire in the first sentence, it's bad satire.

>> No.12383302

>>12383288
Denial is the second step, you'll get through this.

>> No.12383305

>>12383288
liberal humor

>> No.12383310

>>12383305
>applying political labels where they are clearly unwarranted
>>>/r/eddit
>>>/pol/

>> No.12383314

>>12383275
Fuck off, dumbass

>> No.12383317 [DELETED] 

>>12383310
>soy tranny seething dischord dialator
>>>/co/

>> No.12383325

it's so arbitrary and unfunny

>> No.12383336

>>12383317
>being this upset that you were called out for being a 2016 plebbit invader

>> No.12383392

>>12383310
But they aren't wrong

>> No.12383399

>>12383310
no, he's right, this reeks of bad liberal humor

>> No.12383405

>>12383399
to be honest it seems more like boomer humor (actual 65+ boomers).

>> No.12383409

>>12383405
But boomers love the beatles

>> No.12383410

>>12383275
>article doesn’t use the word “nigger” even once
liberal-tier

>> No.12384899
File: 125 KB, 900x900, bait- the musical.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12384899

>>12383275
/pol/; can't even do bait right.

>> No.12384911

>>12383275
be HONEST who has ever dined at red lobster? me, no
>t.27 y.o.

>> No.12385011
File: 7 KB, 209x204, latest[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12385011

>>12383275
>The Beatles
Serves them right.

>> No.12385696

Journalism today, the article didn't even mention how the holocaust was fake.

>> No.12385824

>>12383275
And nothing of value was lost.

>> No.12385828

>(((licensing fees)))

>> No.12385835

>>12383275
I thought they shut down years ago.

>> No.12385874

>>12383275
>>12383278
>someone actually thought this was funny

>> No.12385875

>>12383310
stay mad. all the best comedians were conservatives.

>> No.12385902

>>12385875
>conservative
>comedy
mutually exclusive

>> No.12386030

>>12383275
Imagine being so unfunny. Hopefully you’ll kill yourself when trump wins 2020. MAGA, bitch.

>> No.12386049

Good. I've never been more underwhelmed by overpriced boring food than at Red lobster. I've had better seafood at bars in the middle of the desert.

>> No.12386051

>>12383275
Ill never eat here again after they folded and pulled advertising from Ticker Carlson

>> No.12386060

>>12384911
I did once and got food poisoning. I will not go back

>> No.12386111

>>12384911
I haven't been to one in 17 years

>> No.12386194

This

>> No.12386218

>>12384899

It's from clickhole

>> No.12386245

>>12384911
Haven’t been in like 6-8 years I think.

>> No.12386259

Why did I believe the OP?

>> No.12386278

>>12384911
I've never been to one, but my sister has and she shared some leftovers with me once. Honestly, it was okay. The lobster actually tasted fresh.

>> No.12387735

>>12383275
They've been in a death spiral for 20 years, not surprised.

>> No.12387936

there's been no reason to go to red lobster ever since they started selling the biscuit mix at stores.

>> No.12387990

>>12387735
They never recovered from the all you can eat lobster debacle.

>> No.12388014

>>12384911
Bet my wife that Trump would win the election, on a red lobster meal. I won, that was the last time I went, I got the captains feast.

>> No.12388021

>>12383310
It’s what happens when you try to tell a joke that can’t possibly be offensive to anyone

>> No.12388022

>>12383399
In what way? This isn't even political. You're trying to push that way too hard.

>> No.12388026

maybe im a brainlet but I don't get it. was this supposed to be funny? It's clearly not true and was boring and not very imaginative. Not sure what they were going for...

>> No.12388027

>>12383275
Lobster and crab are probably the easiest things to cook in the world.

>> No.12388091

>>12388026
Yes, you are a brainlet

>> No.12388749

>>12388091
okay okay okay i understand. Explain it to me then. Do it now, coward.