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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking


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12305354 No.12305354 [Reply] [Original]

What's your worst food related date?

>> No.12305357

I've never had one, I've never been on a date period, I just hang out and we do things

>> No.12305361

I once ate so much that nobody wants a date with me to this day.

>> No.12305363

Made bolognese with a girl, she ate around the vegetable pieces because she doesn't like vegetables (she was around 22 years old I think)

>> No.12305383

>>12305354
When she licked peanut butter off that fat arabs dude dick I stopped watching her videos
Anyway the worst food date I went on was where we both agreed to go out to a local burger place and she ended up getting nothing because she didn't want to gain weight, very boring story

>> No.12305385

>>12305383
>expecting standards from a whore

i like lexi too but cmon dude

>> No.12305391

>>12305385
It's not really a standards thing. I've definitely beat it to more degenerate shit; that video just rubbed me the wrong way for no particular reason

>> No.12305393

i have pnly one experience that cannot really count as a date and I end up fucking my friend.

>> No.12305396

>>12305354
>date

Whats that

>> No.12305402

>>12305363
I know so many people like this. How do parents fuck up like that...

>> No.12305407
File: 72 KB, 499x374, 1497838584554.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12305407

>be 18
>get the guts to ask a girl on a date (we had been grouped up in a project and so I was basically forced to talk to her, the only girl I spoke to during my entire time at university)
>she accepts
>go to restaurant
>accidentally accept waiter's offer of bottled, expensive water
>girl tells me that was a mistake, get embarrassed
>hand is literally shaking a I pour the water into the glasses
>hand continues to shake uncontrollably for the rest of the dinner
>also become unable to bend my neck (?)
>to drink, I have to take minute sips contort my neck slightly
>girl is just politely making conversation that I'm barely following
>finish half my meal (a lasagna), get the cheque, leave
>extremely uncomfortable atmosphere, barely make eye contact
>say goodbye, no hug or anything
>avoid her from then on
>slowly transition from that, to just being on hi terms, to just being on nodding terms, to ignoring each other
didn't have another date, let alone get anywhere with any woman, for another 8 years. I also believe now that, considering how I presented myself back then (ill-fitting clothes, uncut hair, traces of acne, lame glasses, all from a "I don't care how I look" attitude), that the girl only accepted to go out to a meal with me on the assumption that I couldn't possibly be asking her on an actual date, and that she thought I was just trying to be friends or something. Most likely, though, is that she just pitied me.

>> No.12305411
File: 166 KB, 768x1764, bone appetit wanna fuck.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12305411

>> No.12305431

>>12305407
>also become unable to bend my neck
what the fuck is wrong with your neck
can you have a normal conversation yet?

>> No.12305440

>>12305407
>(ill-fitting clothes, uncut hair, traces of acne, lame glasses, all from a "I don't care how I look" attitude)
On the flipside, she could have been so attracted to you that she went on a date in spite of all that.

>> No.12305443
File: 178 KB, 1280x720, Screenshot_20180809-125309_YouTube.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12305443

Probably a date I had at Starbucks. It was an online dating thing and she seemed really anxious the whole time.

It was alright, she had a dead tooth I was able to scope out.

>> No.12305830

>>12305357
That's what a date is.

>> No.12305837

Met a british girl who only ate garlic bread, chips, and toast

>> No.12305847

>>12305363
I eat around vegetables, I fought with my parents so much until I left for uni and then I never had to eat them again

>> No.12305900

>>12305354
I love those crispy bowls they're fucking awesome, you finish the real meal and then it's like second lunch, and sometimes you can even break pieces off the bowl and use them as scoops.

>> No.12306035

any of them are going to be about having to hold in my farts while eating something that makes me fart

>> No.12306042
File: 551 KB, 762x706, 1511316236320.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12306042

>>12305407
Oh Jesus

>> No.12306045
File: 284 KB, 1600x1066, averagebongwoman.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12306045

>>12305837
Thats all British people

>> No.12306052

Went on a date with a really cute, amazing guy and had Japanese food, started feeling ill just before eating and threw up as soon as I put food in my mouth tried to cover it up by holding a napkin to my face but didn't do too good of a job hiding it.

>> No.12306059

>>12305354
So is this an actually scene or did Lexi try to pretend like she wasnt a major pornstar trying to have a normal date?

>> No.12306061

I have never been on a date.
Must be nice.

>> No.12306079 [DELETED] 
File: 88 KB, 641x765, 1549828932883.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12306079

>> No.12306083 [DELETED] 

>>12305354
good ol lexi taco belle

>> No.12306089

>Restaurant with now ex GF
>Order
>Take red wine as usual
>Proceed to eat, not good but not too bad either, considering it was a tourist place moderately priced
>Pay
>5 minutes later while we're taking a walk she tells me she's upset because I didn't ask her if she wanted wine
>Had been getting wine at every restaurant we went to for the 3 years prior to that
>Decided to give her the silent treatment instead of arguing

>> No.12306096

>>12305354
Wasnt even sure it was a date but we went to Lotteria and she said she wasnt hungry. I bought a burger and some shit and she caved in to buy a small drink. We sat on window seats where we couldnt even face eachother. Probably had worse food related 'dates' but that was most recent

>> No.12306100

I went to ihop on my 21st birthday, then I was retarded and didn't even order pancakes.

>> No.12306102

>>12306079
Dummy thicc.

>> No.12306106

>>12305354
>be me
>be assistant manager of Olive Garden
>young couple come in
>her 8/10 babe - him stepping waaaay out of his league
>he trys to engage in conversation
>she totally ignores him, 100% focused on cell phone entire meal, doesn't even respond to him.
>he realizes she's using him for free food even before they order
>sad watching dork dude be cucked by cell phone

>> No.12306119

>19 year old, had never even breathed the same air as a 3dpd at that point
>meet a nice girl at uni, have the same interests, sense of humour
>pretty much female version of me
>freaked me out because i thought only dudes could give off internet autismo vibes
>kinda ugly but i'd date anything with a pulse
>first date, invite her to a miyazaki kino screening and general hangout
>only positive character trait i had is knowing how to cook(at least relative to other 19 year olds) from working in a restaurant for years
>make her a berry tapioca pudding as a flex and also nice thing to do
>she awkwardly accepts it, eats during the movie
>after movie we are chatting, ask her if she likes it
>she really awkwardly replies that it was lovely
>a few minutes later, excuses herself to go to bathroom
>takes forever
>after a good 15-30 minutes, i was super stressed out and thought she ran away
>text her, ask if everything's alright(yes text, this story is old)
>she apologises, says she felt really sick and had to go back home
turns out she was severely lactose intolerant, i guess she was too polite to refuse the pudding or just didnt know what it was made out of.
moral of the story, always ask for allergies when trying to flex on people with your cooking skills

>> No.12306128

>>12305354
As a professional chef, made a full four-course picnic for a young lady I was courting. Took her on an amazing motorcycle tour around Sydney Harbour, showing her things that even Sydney natives don't get to see (going across the harbour bridge on a motorcycle is an amazing experience). Went to Birchgrove as it started to rain, there used to be a stone hut there that kids could play in. We got out of the rain and had our meal, while the rain renewed our little world with the fresh scent of life and we shared our personal renewal along with the land and sea merging with the rain and sky. Most romantic date ever. And she wouldn't do ATM.

>> No.12306130

>>12306128
if thats your worst food related date then i want to hear the best

>> No.12306131

>>12305847
Grow up retard

>> No.12306136

>>12305393
Friends make the best fucks in my experience (which is purely straight guy fucking my female friends).
There's just too much risk of finding something to hate in a stranger, at least if you're fucking a friend you know if she's burned coal or refused anal previously.

>> No.12306138

>>12306130
He's Australian so he read the post upside down and thought it said "best date," he is also drunk.

>> No.12306143

>>12305407
Oh man, she was a poor student looking forward to a hot meal and a freakshow and you gave her both.

>> No.12306145

>>12306106
You gave her the "special" food, right bro?

>> No.12306146

>>12306138
ye 11pm on a friday night, all our chef bros just finished cleaning up and are home getting pissed

>> No.12306147

>>12306102
Dummy tubby

>> No.12306148

>>12306045
Would wife the one on the left.
>Knows how to make herself up nice
>nice tits despite obvious PCOS
>Oral fixation
>Engaged to someone else (best time to pounce for no-strings fun)

>> No.12306152

>>12306146
Bloody oathe m8 a solid cunt with a belly full of piss!

Cheers

>> No.12306155

>>12306119
Dont give people food dishes at screenings and stuff you spaz, you only bring snax.

>> No.12306163

>>12306136
Wow it's almost like you're supposed to get to know someone before you pursue a relationship with them.

>> No.12306187

>>12306130
Met a tall redhead QT smallboob motorcycle riding goth girl through my interest in wargaming and roleplaying. Offered to meet her at a local pub and she proposed that she come to my house and fuck me instead. We dated for a couple of years, I did shit like shaving her head, brutal fisting, and anal on demand. I still miss her sometimes, just don't tell my wife.
>>12306138
'Drunk' is such a value-loaded term, I'd prefer you to say that I've 'been drinking'.

>> No.12306198

>>12306079
i wish she stayed a hamplet

>> No.12306201

>>12305354
Not exactly a date but when we were like 15 me and a buddy got in contact with a qt girl from a neighboring city on a now-dead social media site, and we decided to take the train and go hang out.
We just sat in silence and ate pizza at the mall, barely even looked at each other. Turns out a couple of virgin WoW nerds have no game.

>> No.12306217
File: 246 KB, 524x455, gfdnjgfjkn.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12306217

>>12306187
>QT smallboob goth girl

Why don't qt goths exist anymore

>> No.12306227

>>12306217
This was 1998, anon. And goths do exist but you need to be one to find them :)

>> No.12306229
File: 367 KB, 470x965, 1540387213589.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12306229

I can tell you my most awkward date ever, I guess. It has to do with food
>Meet a girl in tinder, she seems a bit out of my league but she's nice enough so we meet up at a nice restaurant
>Girl is extremely talkative, hardly letting me get in a word edgewise but she's nice enough
>Then, when the waiter comes to take our orders, she strikes
>She orders 3 appetizers and 2 entrees (even though this girl is by no means fat or even chubby) as well as a bottle of wine
>When the appetizers come she starts wolfing them down, hardly letting my try them as she grabs every bit of food she can, guzzling her wine
>She hardly touches her entrees, saying that she 'ordered them without thinking', asks for two boxes to go
>Finally the check comes, and she asks me if I could take care of it this time, she'll get the check next time
>Tell her no, she's going to be paying for what she ate
>She gets EXTREMELY upset by this, and after a bit of arguing reluctantly puts down her credit card, which I notice has her dad's name on it
>She doesn't talk to me at all the rest of the meal, and practically runs off with her leftovers when the receipt arrives
The funny thing is, she contacted me again a year later, obviously having forgotten me and trying to get another free meal

>> No.12306238

>>12306229
Would you have gotten some if you paid?

>> No.12306240

>>12305354
fat lexi >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> skinny lexi

>> No.12306245

>>12305407
I get the neck bending problem at interviews haha

>> No.12306255

>>12306229
Ha what a dumb person. It doesn't even seem that bad. I would've encouraged her to order more before refusing to pay.

>> No.12306259

>>12305354
When she ended up becoming my wife

>> No.12306268

>>12305361
lol

>> No.12306300 [DELETED] 

>>12306240
more fat Lexi pics pls

>> No.12306304 [DELETED] 

>>12305354
has she ever fuccked black dudes?

>> No.12306311 [DELETED] 
File: 268 KB, 797x532, 92d25728b2040c495c15092c98add1c8c51796690a3889de69b3d7eaeb6db48c.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12306311

>> No.12306318

>>12306304
is this your first day on the internet?

>> No.12306323
File: 435 KB, 434x524, ExtremeSoy.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12306323

>>12306311
god damn yes.

>> No.12306329

>>12306238
Probably not, I got the impression she did that a lot.
>>12306255
It really wasn't that bad, it was just awkward at the end when she got extremely upset with me.
>I would've encouraged her to order more before refusing to pay.
I ordered a piece of cheesecake and tried to split it with her but she wasn't talking to me

>> No.12306337 [DELETED] 

>>12306318
not at all, she was just never my thing, so I never actively searched out any of her videos. Now that I know she has had a fat phase, I'm interested in her. I'm just scared that I'll see her getting fucked by a bunch of black savages when I search for her videos. super pig disgusting

>> No.12306379
File: 85 KB, 499x344, 1556492588083.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12306379

>>12306079

A food show with Reviewbrah and chubby Lexxy would be peak /ck/

>> No.12306386

>>12306379
Ist das ne frittierte Ratte? Wenn ja, ziemlich basiert.

>> No.12306400

>go with women downtown to see movies with mutual acquaintances
>they don't show up
>walked all the way there so I suggest at least having coffee or something
>there's this place I really like going but rarely have the opportunity to so I suggest that
>the shop offers a shared pot for cheap
>suggest we do that to save money
>she asks if this is a date
>sit there in silence trying, don't want to offend her
>"...do you want it to be?"
>immediately regret asking, not even attracted to this person I barely know
>"no"
>get the coffee to go
>walk back with her in silence
I can never go back there without cringing at this autistic moment.

>> No.12306408

>>12306229
there was this woman I was having a strange relationship with where we would go on not-dates a lot. She kept talking about her awful tinder dates and how she just uses them for free food. I guess she was trying to make me jealous or something but it just turned me off.

>> No.12306410

>>12306386
Nein, ist ‘cavy’ or ‘guinea pig’,

>> No.12306412

>>12306410
So eine schande. Thank you, bernd.

>> No.12306413

>>12305357
So, like a date?

>> No.12306436
File: 44 KB, 675x337, f0ec650e08c44790c9d2f0bb13dce57e_featured_v2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12306436

>>12305354
>First date
>Take her to a great Spanish tapas restaurant
>El Mio Cid in Brooklyn, NY
>Thought it would be fun to order a bunch of small dishes to try everything.
>She orders the "market priced" lobster for herself...
>She finds out I'm from Miami, FL
>Tell her I'm going back down to visit in at the end of the month
>She invites herself to go with me (at my expense of course)

Never called her again...

>> No.12306437

>>12305407
>pretend to be retarded on the internet
Wow, so funny and original.

>> No.12306449

>>12306119
>flex
Nigger.

>> No.12306450

>>12305407
>girl says that's a mistake
You tell her to shut her fucking mouth and accept free food or fuck off
Men like you are worthless.

>> No.12306453

>>12306119
>Kinda ugly
So you're an ugly piece of shit who judges other people lmao

>> No.12306462

>>12306229
Why do women need free food.. Wtf. Damn gluttons, I only eat 3-4times a week

>> No.12306469

>>12306462
are you adam lanza?

>> No.12306473

>sushi place
>she ordered the most expensive item which was the rare salmon rice bowl
>casually mention "raw fish huh"
>bowl arrives
>she looks horrified
>nibble on the salmon
>thew out the ginger
>ate a little rice
>ask if she wants to order something else
>she saids ok

>> No.12306488

>>12305407
It’s a dogs life man. Hopefully you’ll get the courage to ask someone else out sooner or later.

>> No.12306490

>>12306473
I too would be horrified if the sushi restaurant served me raw fish

>> No.12306579

Went out to meet a girl I'd talked to off and on for a month. Of course she was way fatter than her pics. She asks if I'm hungry. I'm not really but say sure, thinking she is inviting me for lunch. She gets in my truck and I ask where we are going, she acts weird so I realize she had no plan. I pull up.to an ok restaurant "anon I can't eat weird stuff" it was like regular food not Mongolian or something but ok..."im really feeling like a burger!" Lol stereo type fatty. Drive towards a burger place "ohh uhhh McDonald's I meant" drive over there it's across town. She orders a ton of shit then looks at me, expecting me to pay. Morbid curiosity now...i pay...we sit she eats all my fries and her meal. Now what? Invites me to see her apartment. Shows me some sex toys immediately. Trashier than I thought. Gets naked. Now it's awkward. Use vibe on her. She asks me to say weird shit. Uncomfortable af now. She gets off. Says she wants to blow me. Figure hell why not. Starts jerking me instead. Worst I've ever had. Banging a cactus would be more enjoyable. Her phone rings so she stops lol wtf. I sit there dick out. Finally off phone says she needs a break her hands get tired because made up ailment. I get dressed and she's mad "uhhh don't go?" Asks for a drive if i really have to go. Says she wants to be dropped at subway. Lol asks "anon can you pay too?" I laugh and kick her out. Texts me a lot after asking if we are dating now

>> No.12306601

>>12305411
There’s no way in hell that story wasn’t written by a person with a high melanin count.

>> No.12306605

I pissed my pants on the car ride to the restaurant, sat soaking in my urine for the entire night. I don't think she noticed.

>> No.12306610

>>12306579
Please tell me this is pasta.
I’ve been on this fucking website for 12 years and I haven’t read this before but it reads like pasta.

>> No.12306619

>>12306045
except none of the people in your cherrypicked photo are eating any of those things. Does mental retardation inhibit your everyday life?

>> No.12306620

>>12305354
haha never had a date haha

>> No.12306621

>>12306579
kek.

>> No.12306626

>>12306610
Lol. It was years ago.i moved to my first city and higher paying job and was clueless to the "dating " online stuff. But no friend, it's not pasta. Yet anyway.

>> No.12306629

>be on date with cutie
>take her to a steakhouse
>we both order our steaks medium
>both get our steaks
>she starts cutting the steak to make sure its medium
>calls the waiter and sends it back and tells him she wants it well done
>"they're not sending me the wrong cut if I want it well done!"
>gets mad at me for leaving a tip
>have sex anyway

>> No.12306630
File: 63 KB, 640x871, 1557154926864.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12306630

>severe but functional tism
>also good looking and somewhat well-spoken, have trouble getting close to people
>work as a prep chef at ruby tuesday
>slutty hostess breaks up with bf
>coworkers wingman hard
>invite her to my house for dinner
>make steak, have reisling
>she drinks 3/4 bottle, doesnt touch food. Doesn't explain why.
>invite her to my bedroom to show wrestling moves
>lose virginity, she's a squirter
>not even mad about her not eating, give extra food to dad

>shes a nympho we basically fuck after work every night. I am bad at showing interest but w/e
>she wants to be my gf
>ok
>lets get sushi
>driving to the place, joke about going to mcdonalds instead
>she cries until we get to sushi place
>order, they bring food. She won't eat.
>feed her cali roll, she loves it.
>lightbulb.tar.gz
>she wants me to feed her like a little girl
>ok. . .

Pussy was worth it bros.

>> No.12306652

>>12306400
>>she asks if this is a date
how do you answer this in a non cringe way?

>> No.12306661

>>12306453
By that i mean she was not attractive in a traditional way. If a photo of her was posted to a rate me thread the numbers would not be great
If you are crushing hard on a gril though that doesn't matter one bit, she was beautiful to me inside and out

>> No.12306671

>>12305847
What the fuck are you doing on a cooking board then you fat greasy cunt?

>> No.12306675

>>12306671
fast food board*

>> No.12306677

>>12306652
"Yes" accompanied by a blank stare.

>> No.12306681
File: 514 KB, 874x491, 1520955114711.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12306681

i planned a trip to a nice south Indian restaurant but i end up getting lost in my own hometown and my date ended up finding it for me and they couldn't even find my reservation.

and thats the only fucking date ive ever been on.

>> No.12306701

>>12306630
I am also autistic and this story makes me hard.

>> No.12306704

>>12305354
Paying for everything and not dumping my load in her afterwards.

>> No.12306759

>second date, first one was a movie date that went fairly well but was very, very formal.
>we go to a pretty good korean place
>food is good, we have fun
>we leave and go to a bar close by instead
>have like two drinks or something while talking and having fun
>we agree on a third date, at my place where i get to cook something for her and agree on a time.
>we leave and start heading towards the buss station to go our separate ways
>it's a real quiet winter night, pretty much no people around, no wind so it's not really all that cold, but there is some very light, slow snowfall that looks real pretty in the streetlights
>i put my arm around her
>she freezes and asks what i'm doing
>"what, don't you like it?"
>she thinks for a second and shakes her head
>sure, whatever, i remove my arm, we do some small talk and then head our separate ways.

>time for third date rolls around, we've talked a small bit but nothing about the date since that was already booked and agreed upon in my opinion.
>buy some expensive foodstuffs, prepare desserts in advance, etc, etc and send a quick " meet at X at Y time tomorrow, alright?" just to double check
>"ohh, noo, i totally forgot, i got a shift tomorrow, sorry"
that's the story of the time i got cucked the second hardest in my life.
i guess the fact that i asked her out on a literal date and paid for everything was not enough of a clue that it was a romantic date or something? to be fair she might have been a bit autistic, but still.

>> No.12306776

>>12306436
>Never called her again...
kek

>> No.12306804

I once took a girl out for a second date since the first wasn't a horrid shitshow. We went to a Dominican place. She ordered some kind of tripe stew. It looked bad. It smelled worse. She ate it anyway and promptly started vomiting all over the table, including on my food.

>> No.12306808
File: 89 KB, 700x525, dates.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12306808

>>12305354
Dates are always food-related. They're fucking food. What are you talking about?

>> No.12306836

>>12306652
IT IS NOW. GOOD THING I ALWAYS CARRY AN EMERGENCY CONDOM

>> No.12306854

>>12306759
That's not getting cucked, Anon. Shit like that just happens.

>> No.12306868

>>12306808
Haha good joke friend

>> No.12306903

>>12306337
If they work for one of the mainstream porn companies than they have more likely done that, and if they haven't they will soon enough because they will do anything for a little cash

>> No.12306942

>be me
>gf and I want to go down to Providence for this Halloween jack-o-lantern festival at the zoo
>decide to go to this burger place we went to last time, food was decent so we figured why not
>traffic was horrendous going down so we're already crunched for time
>get to the restaurant
>wait about 10 minutes for seats even though there are plenty of open tables
>get shoved in this weird side table in the back
>wait another 15 minutes for our waitress
>she finally comes by, we give her our drink order, she scrambles off
>5 minutes later comes back with only waters, forgot our drink order
>takes our food order, we make sure she writes it down this time
>30 minutes pass, people have come in, ordered, and had their food arrive while we are waiting there
>she finally comes back, with the saddest looking sliders I've ever seen
>clearly forgot half of our order and had to wait while the chef made the others. the sliders come in threes and on my plate I had one well made slider and two sliders with buns that clearly came out of the bag, unmelted cheese, and half the toppings were missing, and on top of it everything was cold.
>gf had two sliders that looked ok and one that was somehow beyond raw and cold
>waitress also forgot our fries
>at this point we just don't care, eat, and leave

>> No.12306977

get set up with a Catholic school girl (no, this story isnt going where you think it’s going) for her school Sadie Hawkins dance; pick her up at a friend’s place, not her own home, which was a little weird; nice enough and pretty cute, wearing a very conservative dress with nothing showing. Go the Chili’s (her choice, she’s buying, so dgaf) and I learn this is her first date. Ever. Like no hand holding, crushes, cute boy from church thing...nothing. Super strict family, super religious, and her parents had no idea she was out with a boy. This all leads up to her being profoundly nervous. Like shaking chihuahua nervous, with sweaty pits, tremble-voice. Poor thing, but I try to be super chill and put her at ease. Sitting comfortably across the booth from her, so no physical contact to make her more nervous. We order, she gets some fiesta chicken salad taco bowl thing, I get the verde burger (RIP). Small talk made, she eats her bowl of salad. Finish up, check comes. Reminder this is Sadie Hawkins and she’s buying. Well, not only has she never been on a a date, she’s never paid for restaurant meal, and has no idea how to handle it. Also has only $20 in cash. That was the trigger for all those stress emotions to just come flooding out. Vomits up her entire meal across the table and down the front of her dress. Cry-screaming, she goes running to the bathroom leaving me with the aftermath.

Never make to the dance, drive her back home to her house where her parents immediately start berating the poor girl in front of me, about how God doesn’t approve, this is the wages of sin....fucking hell...

Never heard from her again, always felt like I should do something to make her feel better about the whole thing. Oh well.

>> No.12307007

>>12305363
That’s what you get for dating retards.

>> No.12307068

>>12305357
women are whores and should be avoided

>> No.12307079

>>12306942
Theres like a 20% chance this will happen if you dine at a restaurant at peak hours on Friday or Saturday. Especially if there's a local event increasing volume by 25% or more.

Never dine out between 6 and 8:30 on a friday or saturday. Quality will be halved, the restaurant will be noisy, wait times will increase. Just dont do it. You dont even want to know what kind of terrible mess is happening in that kitchen.

>> No.12307129

I know one girl in college who ised to dress that way until she got sick of neckbeards staring at her all the time

>> No.12307150

>tfw no Lexi lookalike (especially in her current form) gf
It hurts.

>> No.12307151

>>12305411
That story always makes me kek.

>> No.12307318
File: 67 KB, 775x477, 3443t43t34t.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12307318

Pt 1 of 3
Not a date but fuck it, this cringe has been haunting me for 20 years, might as well make you guys feel better about yourselves. I'm shitty at green texting so forgive if I don't do it right.
>be me child of the 80's, parents hyper religious (mothers parents were missionaries to the indians living in caves in arizona)
>get taken to paid events where a 50+ year old man preaches for a weekend how women are the bait of satan and we should live like the puritans
>make me read these books about a girl that lives alone in a mansion until her dad chooses a husband for her
>be watching a tv show with the family and an in show married couple kiss and my mom jumps up and covers the screen with her body while screaming don't look boys
>I regularly am forced to sleep in the basement or outside because of some sin or something
>I don't have a single interaction with girls outside of church and my private school where boys and girls are mostly separate
>discover masturbation accidentally at 14
>terrified that I am going to hell because I have thoughts about a girl at church
>she is an angel, my type in every way
>we become friends somehow even though we have nothing in common
>she comes from a rich family, goes to the best school in the state, perfect grades, a smile countries would go to war to protect, genuinely a good person, sweet, caring, basically everything 4chan memes about what they want their girl to be
>We get closer over high school, talk on the phone for hours every night (this is mid 90's no internet)
>I dream about a life with her, my world revolves around being with her.
>I didn't recognize it because of my tism but she is giving me all of the signs of being in love with me

>> No.12307321
File: 115 KB, 934x617, 234325342525.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12307321

>>12307318 2 of 3
>Always finding ways to casually touch me, rubbing my arm or brushing my hair
>We went to one of those halloween scary barn things with the church group and she grabs onto me the whole way through
>Makes jokes about the future where am I going to college, "wouldn't it be funny if we ended up going to the same school haha"
>Turn 17, she starts bringing her female friends over to hang out with us, keeps trying to play this game where we play a card game and the loser has to admit who they like
>Basically she is begging me to step up and I am too brainwashed and too scared to see the signs
>Finally after months of things like this tell her I will tell her who I like tonight when we are talking on the phone
>Can see her eyes light up, she finally thinks tonight is the night
>We talk for a while just casual stuff, finally she pushes the issue
>I start sweating profusely, spaghetti spilling out of my pockets
>I am just imagining me roasting in hell for having impure thoughts of a female
>Imagining what my parents will do if they find out, I think they will tell the whole church and I will be kicked out or worse
>I stammer and just kind of make nervous sounds for a few seconds trying to wrack my brain for any way I can admit that I am in love with this girl without ruining my life
>Finally it hits me ( I don't even notice the spaghetti has now covered the floor and is slowly filling up my room
>"Anonlette you have to promise you can't tell anybody who it is"
>"Sure anon don't worry it will be our secret"
>I roll over and notice a squishy sound, I see the spaghetti has reached the top of my bed, I don't even realize that I am the titanic and I am about to hit my iceberg
>"Even if I told you it was someone really weird, like the wife of our youth pastor, it isn't her but if it was someone like that you can't tell anyone please"
>Before the words leave my mouth I realize just how colossally I have fucked up
>"Uhhh anon..."

>> No.12307329
File: 62 KB, 421x421, 1530382257744.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12307329

>>12307321 3 of 3
>"Ok I'll tell you... (insanely long pause, at this point I am basically on autopilot the reasoning part of my brain has checked out)
>I have to gasp for air as the spaghetti has now reached head level
>"It is the person I am talking to on the phone right now."

>Dead silence

>"O-ok..." That moment when she realizes that she just wasted most her high school life waiting for a fucking autist
>After another 30 seconds of the most awkward silence you can imagine my brain finally kicks in and I realize how much of a fuck up I am
>"S-s-sorry I just forgot I have to go do something I-i'll talk to you later" I am forcefully disconnected from the call as the pressure from the spaghetti finally bursts open the door of my room and I am washed out into the hall and down the stairs
>I can barely remember the rest of that night but I can't imagine it went well
>I don't talk to her again until we see each other at church the next wed
>There is a nervous glance and then we both kind of awkwardly try to make small talk for a few minutes but it is clear that a line was crossed and there was no going back
>The passion in her eyes for me is gone, I can't think of anything to say to repair the damage
>I just couldn't face her after what I had done
>We make excuses to go do other things and we never really hang out again after that
>She goes on to become valedictorian of her high school and become an engineer building robots or something
>Married some guy but never had any kids and basically disappeared from our church and network of friends
>She was my best friend, we went through so many hard times together and she was always my rock
>To this day I wish I had never confessed to her and just stayed friends
>I threw away my one chance at real love and lost the best person I have ever known

>> No.12307339
File: 212 KB, 2296x745, 1541206146138.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12307339

>>12307329 4 of 3 (wasn't enough room to finish)
Don't be me anons, if you care about someone man up and tell them, don't be a sperg about it. Sometimes you only get one chance, don't waste it because you are worried what the world will think about you. This life is too short and too cruel, don't worry about what your parents or your friends will think. If you want something you find a way and you don't stop until you've got it.

>> No.12307375

>>12307318
>>12307321
>>12307329
>>12307339
>nope
That's a whole lot of TL;DR

>> No.12307412

>>12307318
I thought you said we would feel better, not feel like shit.

Anyway, I remember I got invited by a girl to watch a movie at her place, and she made sweets. I thought "Cool!" since she told me it was peanut butter and banana something. It sounded good, they looked good, and I was excited to try them. I took one bite and they were unbelievably, incredibly, overpoweringly sweet. Like, she must have put at least double the amount of sugar that a recipe might have asked for. My mouth puckered up from how much sugar was in this tiny bite-sized pastry, and I struggled to chew and swallow. I felt bad and mentally, I knew I was supposed to compliment women on their cooking but I just couldn't do it with a straight face.
We move on, I think she just accepts it so move onto the movie. We're alone, but I'm too autistic and am focused on the movie. I think it was called "Cabin in the Woods", some vampire horror thing and it held my attention. She later says picked that movie specifically to give a hint for me to get physical. Fast forward a little bit and I am extremely uncomfortable because I am on top of her sucking her boobs while she schlics. Due to my discomfort, I have 0 boner and honestly just want to get out. During her session, at times where I thought she came (but didn't), I would ask, "Did ya finish?" This happened every time I thought she came. Eventually she tried getting with my best friend without telling me and he said no (I've known the guy from 15 years, he is bro-tier) and that was the last we hear from her.

>> No.12307424

why do I like lexi so much

>> No.12307435

>>12306942
Why the fuck didn't you just walk out? What is wrong with people

>> No.12307442

>>12306808
Why the fuck do prunes and dates look like squashed roaches??

>> No.12307445

>>12306630
>girl is a cumdumpster
>pisses herself
>cries about sushi
>daddy issues
God men are pathetic

>> No.12307453

>>12305354
If you faggot weren't a bunch of enablers these women would probably be more tolerable

>> No.12307458

>>12306337
porn is inherently disgusting
if you have to use it, make a distinction between your lust for what's on screen and lust for the actress
they're all degenerates regardless of who they fuck

>> No.12307563

>>12306942
DId you pay for the meal or just walk out?

I honestly would've just let

>> No.12307591

>>12307458
Using the term degenerate is degenerate. Degeneracy is a spook.

>> No.12307789

>>12307329
>she's obv in love with you
>you confess you like her
>she now hates you
dafuq

>> No.12307865

>>12307591
>pfft everyone is a degenerate
Nice try. Purge the unclean.

>> No.12308063

Ate two chicken sandwiches at a KFC prior to going to the park, date made a disparaging comment about my appetite.
Wound up getting the shits but sadly all the restrooms were closed for the evening (restrooms in public parks are popular meeting spots for affirmed bachelors).
Had to go shit in the trees but I know people saw me and took pictures.

>> No.12308078

>>12306652
>"lol what"
it's a faux pas on her part anyway not yours
girls are shit at hiding their social ineptitude when they're forced into unwanted social interactions and it's hilarious to see them trying to work their way through the awkwardness like a downy playing jenga

>> No.12308199

>>12305383
>she licked peanut butter off that fat arabs dude dick
Um, why? Couldn't she just lick his dick without the peanut butter? It's not like he has to be coaxed into doing it.

>> No.12308210

>>12308063
haha what the fuck

>> No.12308217

>>12306488
I'm married and my wife is expecting, so it worked out ok in the end. But I was a virgin until I was 27.

>>12305431
Yeah, I'm alright now. I just stopped caring so much as I got older.

>>12306245
It's so weird, isn't it? The extreme stiffness. Try that when trying to have a drink.

>> No.12308240

>>12307445
How am I pathetic?

She was attractive and loved sex. Thats what I wanted, to fuck. I got what I wanted. So what if she was quirky? I dated her for like a month, got my dick wet, and got out.

>> No.12308254

>>12306386
KC dod, wat nu?

>> No.12308261

>>12306311
lexi... easy on the carrot cake

>> No.12308369

>>12307329
not only did you write up such an unnecessarily long pasta but you're apparently still an ultraautist because I still don't understand what exactly happened that night

>> No.12308381

>>12305361
Based

>> No.12308433
File: 49 KB, 684x648, 1531481871980.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12308433

>>12307329
She wasn't in love with you she thought you were a closet gay due to your weird cult family

>> No.12308472

>>12305354
food related, everything went pretty decent surprisingly

>> No.12308516
File: 412 KB, 597x448, 1557204480424.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12308516

>>12307329
Christ dude

>> No.12308982

>>12306977
That's so terrible and how you end up with a cracked, rebellious child. Poor girl.

>> No.12309039

>>12305354
All of them.
I'm bad with people and women I'm trying to fuck are 10 times worse.

>> No.12309072

>>12307789
women are just fucking like that

>> No.12309119

>>12306652

Respond positively with a smile or chuckle and say no, but you're flattered that she'd be so forward as to ask you out and you'd be happy to go out sometime. In other words, confidence your way through it. If you're not confident then fucking whatever, you were doomed from the start.

>> No.12309134

>>12307318
>>12307321
>>12307329
Sorry anon but I don't get it. She was in love with you but got upset when you told her? Or because of how you phrased it? The fuck sense does that make.

>> No.12309194

>>12309134
I think the idea was that he was so afraid to admit his feelings that she realised they were on completely different wavelengths. He couldn't man up and tell her straight up how he felt and was afraid of anyone else finding out. That isn't really a way to start a relationship. Than he never bothered to explain himself or try to fix it and she moved on. The anon was clearly not ready for a relationship based on his upbringing, his fucked up confession made that pretty clear.

>> No.12309221

>>12306136
>refused anal previously
That’s pretty much a requirement for me. Jesus christ women are disgusting enough without deliberately seeking to pair their feces with your dick

>> No.12309328

>>12305407
Y’all need to stop giving up like this. All is not lost just keep trying to hang out and grow out of the awkwardness even if you have to fake it. It sucks to be the girl when you give up. We ask ourselves what we did wrong if even this guy doesn’t like us

>> No.12309334

>>12309328
It also sucks to be the guy who's trying hard and gets one or two word replies in return if anything.
Why the fuck do you think so many guys give up in the first place

>> No.12309383

>>12305354
I hate these images so fucking much. Every time I see one I look up Lexi Belle videos thinking it's going to be a cute amateur without makeup just going from eating shitty texmex fast food to fucking her average boyfriend - but she's just a generic pornstar who makes all the fake turn-off noises, is obviously drunk/high, and honestly doesn't have a very attractive vagina.

>> No.12309487

>>12309383
>doesn't have a very attractive vagina
What do you consider to be an attractive vagina? What specific qualities are you looking for in your ideal vagina?

>> No.12309492

>>12306119
Do kids not text anymore?

>> No.12309554

>>12309194
I guess that's one interpretation... and you're not wrong. Yeah maybe he did kill what intrigue there might've been by admitting his crush in the most spergalicious fashion possible. I'll buy that

>> No.12309558

>>12309487
For me, a nice lip with no roast beef flap is key

>> No.12309569

>>12309558
Why? I like a nice short but manageable flap action going on. When they’re not present it’s like a sliding door with no handles, beautiful, but we kind of need to attend to matters further in. Plus they’re kind of like those little sliders on the expensive ziploc bags keeping the pussy drool contained.

>> No.12309570

>>12305354
Met girl off tinder

Went to get spicy tofu soup

She was a lot less prettier in person

A lot quieter in person and generally a bad conversationalist

No really i tried with that dunb bitch i really did

Hugged her goodbye and she never responded to my shit again. Maybe she thought the same of me. All in all no chemistry.

>> No.12309580

>>12309570
O yea i forgot the reason i wrote this shitpost

We ate spicy tofu soup which is good, normally. U get rice and a bubbling hot bowl of spicy soup. Lively koreatown restaraunt. Warms your belly

Not that night
Could barely taste anything
Just head swimming with thoughts of why am i like this, why does this have to happen to me, what the hell is my life. Etc

Rattling

>> No.12309590

>>12309580
You sound like a faggot who should not reproduce, so mission accomplished really

>> No.12309594

>>12309570
>>12309580
>tripfag
>obnoxious formatting
How shocking

>> No.12309596

>>12309590
Uhm can anons dont respond to me. Either put on a trip or just stay a plebe and shut up.

>> No.12309598

>>12309580
Did you pay for both meals? I'm getting a free meal vibe with a lotta these tinder dates.

>> No.12309605

>>12305407
Your neck thing gave me a giggle

>> No.12309614

>>12309580
>>12309596

>imagine being delusional and cringe like this

>> No.12309615

>>12309596
>namefagging
>”dates” ugly women
>Hugged her goodbye
>Just head swimming with thoughts of why am i like this, why does this have to happen to me, what the hell is my life. Etc

Calling other, actually successful anons plebs. I’d tell you to get fucked but I guess that’s not possible for you. Enjoy your tofu soup faggot.

>> No.12309621

>>12309598
Yes they know from the get go if youre their type or not. Clever roasties they make do with what they caught. Dude who just doesnt do it for ya but at least doesnt seem dangerous? Throw him a bone for his half boner so he easily accepts taking you out for a hot meal you homeless woman

>> No.12309624

>>12309615
>>12309614
Nigger.

>> No.12309628

>>12309621
So you’re a guy that doesn’t do it for all the women you’ve ever encountered? Fucking women amirite like this post if u cry errtime when reading this

>> No.12309630

>>12309628
Yes man fucking roasties arf arf Goddamn beef curtain Arbys thots taking my wallet. Incel pride world wide

>> No.12309632

>>12309624
>responding to a well reasoned argument
>your counter argument is namecalling, feelings, and ad hominem
lol niggers amirite

>> No.12309637

>>12309624
i mean, go on m8

your doing a good job on making urself looked like a clown

>> No.12309639

>>12309630
Ok, so you are a fetal alcohol syndrome-level mind, thanks for confirming.

>> No.12309644

>>12309637
>>12309632
Black people smell like shea butter. Its pretty overpowering. I hate them theyre so disgusting.

>> No.12309652

>>12309639
They never bathe they just reapply sheabutter

>> No.12309656

>>12309644
Why on earth would you consider yourself superior to even the greasiest nigger? You are perhaps the dumbest garbage fire I’ve ever stumbled across, and I’ve stumbled across a lot of idiots.

>> No.12309660

>>12309656
You must trip over your own feet quite often, then.

Haha. Gotcha there

>> No.12309665

>>12306759
If that's the second hardest you've had a pretty good go

>> No.12309666

>>12309652
This is true, to a degree, but the rest of us are laughing at you because you think that fact helps you in any way. It makes you come across as even dumber than should even be possible.

>> No.12309669

>>12309666
By "us" you mean you and the other shadow figures in your bedroom?

>> No.12309677

>>12309669
Yes

>> No.12309679

>>12305383
When some arse-hole from /b/ comes in here and says shit like this.
Fuck off you faggot, this place is about FOOD, dumb-arse....

>> No.12309732

>>12306045
Fuck you Amerifat,
At least women in the UK know decent drunk food.
Not like American burger slop joints, 5 burgers for a dollar.
For fuck sakes, animal food, yet Amerifats will defend this consumption.

>> No.12309741

>>12306138
You fuck-wit

>> No.12309747

>>12309732
>imagine seething on a shitty /pol/ bait
I would laugh pretty hard for your autism

>> No.12309748

>>12306187
Of course this happened, anon.

>> No.12309753
File: 94 KB, 500x522, 1552693679505.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12309753

dumbasses from /pol/ thinks race baiting is le funny

>> No.12309766

>>12306942
THE AMERICAN CUSTOMER
NEVER SATISFIED.............

>> No.12309770

>>12307068
OK Homo office worker.

>> No.12309775

>>12309770
He’s wrong, but not that wrong... He should enjoy bantering with women but consider exactly zero of it actionable in any way. Just like a /ck/ conversation. And of course, he’s right about them all being whores. So I disagree mildly.

>> No.12309789
File: 47 KB, 720x709, 1556985449732.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12309789

>>12305407

>> No.12309847

>>12306977
Did she at least do anal?

>> No.12309854

>>12309775
>bantering with women
You're an idiot. Women don't banter, they bitch.

>> No.12309862
File: 402 KB, 1068x566, me loife.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12309862

Man I wish I could go on a date. Even a bad one. It seems like an interesting time, at the very worst you can probably get a good story or two out of the experience. I'm 25 and the last time I even had an unprompted conversation with a girl outside of a strictly work or school-related context was December of 2010. It was just casual chit-chat because she happened to catch me on the way to school, but it's still the furthest I've ever been with a girl unless you count the time an insane woman accused me of touching her on the bus.

>> No.12309883

>>12308063
>Had to go shit in the trees but I know people saw me and took pictures.
lol
thanks for that!

>> No.12309887

>>12309732
seething over fat goblins

>> No.12309890

>>12309854
(((Distinction))) without a difference

>> No.12309908

>>12309862
There's always been more girls on 4chan than you think, don't be so autistic keeping tabs on the year you think you last interacted with one like it's a mythical species or something. Just learn to talk to people in general more since you clearly can't

>> No.12309915

>>12309908
It's not like I'm keeping some kind of log or journal, I just have a very good memory.

>> No.12309919

>>12309915
The way it's worded in your other post makes it seeem like you hold a lot of weight to it though. Don't do that, it's unhealthy

>> No.12309925

>>12309919
I don't really, I was just using it as a frame of reference for how out of touch I am with women in general. The funny thing is I have a great relationship with my mum and I have two sisters (although my relationship with them basically goes no further than making fun of them at every opportunity).

>> No.12309936

>>12309925
My bad, it sounds like you just need to learn to put yourself out there more though honestly, especially if you already get along with your mom and sisters. I beleive in you anon!

>> No.12309955

>>12305383
dude dick as opposed to feminine penis?

>> No.12310011

>>12306311
Is this fake? Where can I find videos of her like this?

>> No.12310142
File: 184 KB, 592x734, Drowning.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12310142

>>12305354
I was dating this African woman who was dumber than a sack of potatoes and i said that we should eat at a chinese restaurant.
She insisted that they eat dogs there so we went to a kebab place instead because "her friend had said it was good"
It was decent, but unsurprisingly she hated it.
I didn't even get laid

>> No.12310147

>>12310142
She sounds 1980s white to me. Are you sure she wasn't in blackface?

>> No.12310152

>>12305407
damn nigga, get some self-esteem. control the pussy don't let the pussy control you

>> No.12310270

>>12309679
There was peanut butter and burgers though, I don't see how there isn't food?

>> No.12310279

>>12310142
man fuck that nigger cunt literally and metaphysically

>> No.12310290

>>12306619
>>12309732

SEETHING

>> No.12310297
File: 227 KB, 452x423, DB4BAA18-077F-44E7-8C85-4FBA6B5ED51A.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12310297

>this thread
HOW CAN ALL OF YOU HALF MONGOLOID BRAIN DAMAGED FUNCTIONALLY DISABLED RETARDS WHO CANT EVEN MAKE BASIC FOOD GET GIRLS TO TALK WITH YOU BUT I CANT ITS NOT FAIR AAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH

>> No.12310313

>meet 19 year old off tinder
>I'm 25
>decide to get coffee somewhere
>she shows up 6/10
>go to counter to order, she picks a sandwich and coffee, doesn't even make any indication that she's going to pay
>reluctantly pay, but redflag #1 already raised
>she starts talking about how she's half Asian
>hates all the white dudes on tinder with trucks/fishing stuff
>ask what her dad does
>she says he's a white dude with a truck who likes to fish
>daddy issues confirmed
>I say hating white dudes is kinda racist (I'm half white too, but you wouldn't know because I look white)
>she literally spouts the Tumblr line that racism is power+privilege
>I keep telling her that you can't just make up definitions for things
>we both kind of just get silent
>I say thanks for the date but I'm gonna head out

She never even thanked me for the food, stupid bitch. Probably still working her min wage job somewhere

BTW I never pay on first dates, this was a fluke

>> No.12310316

>>12310297
just be attractive bro

>> No.12310344

One time I went to an all-you-can-eat restaurant with two women, a QT brown chick and a blond whale. Having to suffer through watching some fat chick devour food wasn't fun. Luckily me and brown chick hit it off well and we just started to eat out with just the two of us since then so it wasn't all bad.

>> No.12310508

>>12310313
Why pay for her meal? Why?!?

>> No.12310541

> last day of high school
>hot girl asks me to get food
>duh
>take her for pizza
>get a meatball sub
>take bite of pepperoncini
>juice squirts me in the eye
>eye turns red
>hit the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur

>> No.12310606

>>12306579
>Went out to meet a girl I'd talked to off and on for a month
>Of course she was way fatter than her pics
>She asks if I'm hungry
>I'm not really but say sure, thinking she is inviting me for lunch
>She gets in my truck and I ask where we are going, she acts weird so I realize she had no plan
>I pull up.to an ok restaurant "anon I can't eat weird stuff" it was like regular food not Mongolian or something but ok..."im really feeling like a burger!" Lol stereo type fatty
>Drive towards a burger place "ohh uhhh McDonald's I meant" drive over there it's across town
>She orders a ton of shit then looks at me, expecting me to pay
>Morbid curiosity now...i pay...we sit she eats all my fries and her meal
>Now what? Invites me to see her apartment
>Shows me some sex toys immediately
>Trashier than I thought
>Gets naked
>Now it's awkward
>Use vibe on her
>She asks me to say weird shit
>Uncomfortable af now
>She gets off
>Says she wants to blow me
>Figure hell why not
>Starts jerking me instead
>Worst I've ever had
>Banging a cactus would be more enjoyable
>Her phone rings so she stops lol wtf
>I sit there dick out
>Finally off phone says she needs a break her hands get tired because made up ailment
>I get dressed and she's mad "uhhh don't go?" Asks for a drive if i really have to go
>Says she wants to be dropped at subway
>Lol asks "anon can you pay too?" I laugh and kick her out
>Texts me a lot after asking if we are dating now

>> No.12310610

>>12308240
good response anon

>> No.12310614

>>12306759
>any rejection whatsoever is being """cucked"""
learn a new word anon

>> No.12310636

>>12307318
>>12307321
>>12307329
its an anon cant be succinct episode

>> No.12310637

>>12306579
Fucking kek

>> No.12310644

tripfags need the rope

>> No.12310675

>>12310644
Yes, if you’re gonna sail the 7 seas, you’re gonna need a lotta rope.

>> No.12310756

>>12306450
Not even that guy but it’s incredibly obvious you haven’t had pussy since you came out one. Just cause you rage at a small, diminutive comment doesn’t make you alpha you socially retarded faggot

>> No.12310775

>>12306601
>Implying Black people own cleats


Rent-free, Cracker Jack. Rent free.

>> No.12310791

>>12310675
You're an unfunny autist. I mean that sincerely.

>> No.12310806

>>12305402
>sucks at buying produce
>sucks at preperation
>believing that any vegetables you eat magically make you healthy regardless of everything else served
>most produce ends up as waste
also you can live indefinitely without eating a single vegetable (not counting seeds, grains). If you're too retarded to cook them correctly don't serve your kids garbage and give them a multivitamin and some pasta instead.

>> No.12310855

>>12305354
We got high as fuck after going to the planetarium and resulting in me having uncontrollable laughter while we got food

>> No.12310890

>16/17ish
>girl i like from work has a birthday at benihanus type place, we're dating kind of
>go in
>her friends are sitting next to her
>move down the line to sit 3-4 seats away
>HAHA WHAT ARE YOU DOING MAN YOU HAVE TO SIT BY HER!!!!!!!!!! COME ON BRO!
>literally can't even remember the rest of the "date"

>later we watch teeth with another couple at her request
>try to put my arm around her
>doesn't go well
>don't kiss her goodbye
>whatever relationship we had fades away

I honestly dont remember that period of my life very well. She also became a lesbian later.

>> No.12310901

>>12305354
There was one time where I dated a 5/10 gal from my town. I already knew She was a bit peculiar due to her passion for shit like dog rescuing and swan caretaking, but our First date-slash-(her)birthday party made me run for the hills.

So, we meet at this resturant on the waterfront. There are some of her Friends already there, most of them are probably omegas and premature crazy cat ladies, but since I was therefor her, I tried to not pay much attention to it.

The resturant served a fixed menù, composed by cold pasta in "ortolana sauce" (basically, the farmer market's leftovers blended and colored with chlorophyll), sausages and unlimitedbeer and wine.

The pasta was utter shit: the sauce tasted like pool water, and the consistency was the one of a toy spring; the sausages were barely cooked and smelled of shows for some goddamn reason; and the beer was colored water.

Everyone else are plenty and all was well... until somebody suddenly became delirious, at which point, for reasons unknown to me at the time, we booked It and brought the delirious dude back home as he clapped talked about pretty lights and what his pants. Afterwards we went to a disco where Mass roofing was practices, and where the gal insisted in having me drink some beer. Seeing the issue, I pretended to have a sudden stomach ache and ran away.

It turns out that everyone in that group was dropping acid right in front of my nose, and She was Indeed trying to roofie me.

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>> No.12310929

>>12306045
anglo women are horrid af

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>> No.12310982

>>12306652
Ask if she has a penis

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"I'll just grab a bit real quick there bro"

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[ERROR]

>> No.12311110

>>12305357
Loser

>> No.12311114

>>12305363
Was she fat?

>> No.12311160

>>12305354
I took this girl to a few restaurants for dates and everything was great and she said she loved me, and the sex was the best I've ever had. Then she left me to go back to her ex because she still loves her more than me.

>> No.12311166
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>>12310606
>>Says she wants to be dropped at subway

if she loves the "Way you might text her back
damn good subs

>> No.12311217

>ask girl who sits next to me in band on a date near the end of senior year high school
>she says yes
>I have no idea what a good date entails, decide to take her to Quiznos
>During the drive over, we are talking and chatting and having fun
>I don't even know how it happened, but she asked "why me and why now" or something along those lines
>I don't know why I responded with this, but I said "Oh, I only asked you out to say I went on a date in high school."
>doesn't even click with me for a minute until I realize what I said
>she looks like she's on the verge of crying
>get to Quiznos
>try to make her laugh with funny jokes about Quiznos, like how good the Chicken Carbonara is
>nothing works
>force her to order a Chicken Carbonara
>she doesn't want it
>I already bought it, she shrugs and sighs
>we eat in relative silence and I drive her home


I don't know WHAT I was thinking

>> No.12311226

you guys are fucked

>> No.12311310

>>12309492
We take pictures with texts on them as frequent, immediate updates to our lives.

>> No.12311852

Food-related?
>Girl, who's fat, orders a hamburger and proceeds to remove the lettuce, tomatoes, and onions, looking at them in disdain and calling them rabbit food before chowing down on the burger.

It was horrific, and I felt disgusted.

The worst date, not really food-related, was when I was walked to my car by the girl and her roommate, I had planned to kiss her (had never kissed a girl on a first date, so I was prepping myself mentally), and she went in for the hug--we hugged, I didn't let go, and went in for the kiss... on her forehead. I was silently screaming "WTF ARE YOU DOING" in abject horror as I did this. I awkwardly said good night and went into my car and drove home. There was no second date with this girl.

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>>12310541
Oh man. That right there activated my gigglepuss...

>> No.12311974

>>12311217
>"Oh, I only asked you out to say I went on a date in high school."
lmao
this could have worked depending on your relationship with her and her general perception of your personality you could have played it off as a playful joke but it's retarded slips like these that brick a relationship before it even gets going

>> No.12312036

>>12311217
You were a dumb high schooler, don't worry about it anon

>> No.12312459

>>12310297
Stop acting like a faggot. Girls prefer men that they don't dislike. Also you have to look good, that helps them not dislike you.

>> No.12312476

>>12308240
You just can't see yourself, and even if you have it explained to you it will go way over your head. It is absolutely pathetic.

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>>12311217
>like how good the Chicken Carbonara is

>> No.12312548

>>12310290
>haha stoopid british people eating food
stop being a retard
>SEETHING XD XD

>> No.12312619

>>12306229
it's your fault for using tinder.

>> No.12312635

>>12311114
Probably not but she'll eventually be fat.

>> No.12312655

>>12311217
>"Oh, I only asked you out to say I went on a date in high school."
I mean, was it true? If not, how did you accidentally say this? I don't get it...

>> No.12312664

>>12306229
>go on tinder date
>she's ordering a ton of drinks
>I can't drink because I'm on call
>afterward, watch as she's pulling out her credit card
>she's pretty buzzed
>hesitate, thinking about just letting her do it
>reluctantly suggest splitting the bill
There was no second date, but she had a kid and a dead-end job, so I figured eh

>> No.12312674

>>12306652
>actually i was planning on a rape but maybe we can ease things up

>> No.12312686

>>12305354
>Go eat pizza with new gf
>We buy 2 large ones because why not
>I ate mine, she eats like 2 slices
>Ate the rest but couldn't finish the last slice
I felt so ashamed I couldn't finish almost 2 pizzas.

>> No.12312695

>>12306630
>>12308240
Anon, girls don't squirt. That's not a thing. It's actually them pissing themselves. That's what this anon meant >>12307445 >>12312476

>> No.12312707

>>12306119
Moral of the story is cook basic things as soon as possible to weed out poor genetics.

>> No.12312714

god it's so hard breaking the ice with a woman and getting her to like you when you're not drunk. the two major relationships i've had met the first one at a house party in college, and the second one showed up to our date drunk (ended up getting married but now divorced because she is alcoholic)

>> No.12312767

>>12305354
When I had diarrhea on one

>> No.12312812

>>12312664
See this is literal cuckoldry.

>> No.12312930

>>12312812
Or maybe just common human decency? But you wouldn't know much about that being a melanin enriched downie.

>> No.12312951

>>12307435
>>12307563
It was like the one place we'd been to in Providence and by that point it was either stick it out to the end or leave and not eat until well after midnight.

>> No.12313001

>>12306136
i had a habit of fucking my female friends when i was in high school. it was always by accident but it was always fun and happened multiple times

>> No.12313008

What do you guys talk about on dates? Like, you sit down with your date at a table in a restaurant and start talking about shit? Seems forced and boring. You talk about politics and shit? What if you're already friends with that person, and you know their views/backstory etc, what do you talk about then? Just gossip about your other friends?

>> No.12313018

>>12306579
top kek

>> No.12313031

>>12313001
When I hear something like "I accidentally managed to fuck someone" it sounds to me like someone saying "I accidentally managed to manifest psychic powers" or "I accidentally managed to discover cold fusion in my garage".

>> No.12313038

>>12313001
I know a girl that fucks all her guy friends and wonders why she has no female friends.

>> No.12313045

>>12306804
>not eating her vomit

>> No.12313051

>>12306804
Did she not know what tripe is?

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>>12312459
>girls prefer men that they dont dislike

>> No.12313071

>>12313008
you tell stories and basically shoot the shit
if you're already friends then you tell them more personal stories
you don't even need to talk to girls to be able to make conversation for fucks sake
have you ever interacted with people before?

>> No.12313074

>>12313001
>>>r/ihavesex

>> No.12313082

>>12308063
holy shit, you were the park poopist? my friends and i still kek at those pictures we took of you

>> No.12313111

>>12306652
>not laughing to shatter her self esteem
NGMI

>> No.12313119

>>12310606
Thanks for converting my story to green text, anon. I'm stuck phonefagging at the moment. >>12310541


Also she was pretty weird. Beyond daddy issues. But for those interested that was partly the "weird talk" she was into

>> No.12313127

> be me, 19, Ultima Online is the best new game
> make friends in game, find out one is a girl IRL
> proceed with inept, light flirt
> find out she's 5 years older and 2k miles away
> never cyber sex the babe because I share the account with my brother, who will find out if I do
> also I have no idea that older girls can be sexy. it seems gross.
> lots of friendship, nothing more, and I'm good with that
> I'm 20 now, move to Mom's place.
> find out UO girl is 16 miles away
> girl invites me over
> get there
> she's "I was hot in '91 so I never changed" cute, but no regrets about stopping with the flirt
> she recoils at my sight
> goes from leaning on the door coquetting to "what is this beast?" in .02 femtoseconds
> offer to take her to get pizza anyway, because I'm not there to bed a babe
> tells me she made a mistake, pushes me away from the door
> she thought it was a date

>> No.12313128

>>12313074
Does the url bar say reddit.com? Stop being a gay reddit nigger.

>> No.12313132

>>12313031
it's more like you're both horny hanging out alone and shit happens

>> No.12313142

>>12311166
Thanks anon I lolled. She is probably on welfare asking men for money these days though.

>> No.12313156

>>12312930
Fuck off soy boy. Paying for a woman’s drinks that literally didn’t fuck you or has another man’s kid is pathetic.

>> No.12313183

>>12313008
Women have almost nothing to say ever, so it's up to you to entertain both of you. Like being a stand up comedian basically, having a ton of funny stories non stop. Women are self absorbed too so asking about her a lot mixed in is also good . "Wow! You work 25 hours a week??! Damn you are a tough girl Jenny. I dont know how you do it" if it's a modern North American girl be ready to pretend to be super far left wing liberal or she will walk and Maybe metoo you

>> No.12313380

>>12313183
>Women have almost nothing to say ever
>up to you to entertain both of you
>be ready to pretend to be super far left wing liberal or she will walk and Maybe metoo you
this is unironically the incel-est post I have seen on /ck/
this person has never been on a date and I highly doubt they even talk to girls if this is what they think it's like
you can get a girl to your bed without making them so much as laugh even once
you just know if they're interested within a minute of conversation

>> No.12313444

>>12313008
You asked them about their lives, and they start revealing stuff. You listen to them revealing stuff and ask follow-up questions relating to what they reveal. At some point she will ask you, "what about you?" and you talk for awhile in a similar manner, and she might ask you follow-up questions too. If she doesn't, then you start asking her more questions. If the conversation eventually starts feeling forced, then that's a good sign that there isn't much chemistry, and you write off this potential mate and look for another.

>> No.12313540

>>12305354
>drive like 2 hours to go see okcupid girl
>she's boring and just wants to go out to a club to go drinking after our date, not my thing at all
>tell her i'm not interested
>she calls her friend who comes out and hangs out with her, they talk to each other and ignore me
>check comes as single check
>"split this in half please"
>she looks at me with utterly shocked face

>> No.12313571

>>12305383
you know her very first video was her getting double teamed by black guys and giving one of them a rim job right?

>> No.12313625

>>12313571
Yeah but black male on white female is hot as fuck.

>> No.12314213

>>12312951
Guessing student, brown? Providence fag here nobody eats downtown except like dunkin. Seriously all the restaurants suck. What was the name or where was is?

>> No.12314595

>>12309890
>>12309854
>>12309775
>>12307068
this is the cooking board, the fat virgin loser cope threads are over there:
>>>/r9k/

>> No.12314681

>>12306652
>Hard No

>> No.12314705

>>12306804
To be fair tripe is delicious if it's cleaned properly. If it smelled it probably wasn't

>> No.12314882

Went to Korea town with a Korean girl who spoke gibberish to the waitress laughed and then we left. Apparently had been asked if she wanted my food fucked with because fuck whyte ppol.

>> No.12314901

>>12305363
as someone who also doesn't like vegetables (except potato, corn. processed shit like ketchup is also fine), if you made the effort to reduce the volume of veges in that meal, she'd be all over you

>> No.12314912

>>12313380
Sure sometimes it goes that way. Depends on your area and looks etc. Maybe you have had a lot of good luck

>> No.12314928

This is the story of when I went on my first and only date at age 23.

>girl at univeristy starts talking to me for some reason
>follows me everywhere
>says we should hang out
>wtf leave me alone
>we go to a pub after class
>I dont really go to pubs often, but I drink a lot by myself
>order two pints of some dark beer
>didnt realise girls cant drink as much as guys
>she gets about a quarter of the way through her drink
>seems completely wasted
>talking really loudly, laughing and slurring
>feeling super uncomfortable wishing I was at home
>suggest we take a walk.
>het more beer and go to a park
>she rests her head on my shoulder and starts rubbing my knee
>literally about to cum in my pants
>she starts talking about how some people use sex to get to know eachother
>Im almost in tears at this point feeling so uncomfortable and retarded
>tell her i need to go home because we have a house inspection
>seems disappointed, catches the bus home
>in tears as i take the slow journey back to my lonely hovel
>never talk to her again

That was about 5 years ago and no girl has shown any interest in me since. I honestly think part of my brain must be missing.

>> No.12314930

>>12306630
>tfw high functioning autism and understood this
I’ve never gone after a female, but every few years one will attach until they realize I can’t understand the emotional needs, say highly inappropriate things and don’t acknowledge it till later, or really even care for sex. As in it’s fun but not necessary. Squirting disgusts me however as it is just urination.
/blog

>> No.12314933

>>12306045
Angry bitch be lookin like stephan fry

>> No.12314941

>>12314928
This better not have actually happened.

>> No.12314977

>>12305443
Maureen Ponderosa?

>> No.12314979

>remembering the night my ex got very food and alcohol sick
>holding her while she threw up and shat all over my bathroom
>was a cunt to me all the time
I wish I could turn back time and not have stayed with the first female to give me positive attention for so long

>> No.12315014

>>12309732
OI, SILLY AMERICANS.

NUTHIN' BEATS A CHEEKY STREET KEBAB WITH THE LADS. EXTRA CREAMY WHITE SAUCE FOR ME, MUHAMMED! I SURE DO ADORE YOUR ROADSIDE SPINNING SLAB OF SWEATING MYSTERY MEAT, MY CULTURALLY ENRICHING FRIEND. AMERICANS DON'T KNOW WOT THEY'RE MISSING.

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>>12314977

>> No.12315088

>>12305354

why is the side that's eaten from that taco salad the side farthest from her face? something is wrong here.

>> No.12315097

>>12309847
only anal; as a Catholic that’s the only way Mother Mary will allow it

>> No.12315176

>>12309862
post yourself on /soc/ or /fit/ and ask for advice on how to improve your appearance

>> No.12315195

300th post

now let this thread die

>> No.12315488

>>12305354
>Walking around town center
>Gf spots a restaurant and says she wants to go there sometime
>It’s literally one of the most obvious tourist traps in the city
I still don’t feel bad about ghosting her

>> No.12315988

>>12305354
>take grill to Steak n Shake
>spend maybe 15$
>take her home
>throw on movie
The filthy swine started providing me with oral pleasures, pass

>> No.12316017

>>12314941
No self esteem

>> No.12316136

Any date I paid for that didn't end with an intercourse.

>> No.12316183

>>12306808
No wonder why it was the worst date for someone with lack of humour.

>> No.12316365

>>12306473
>sushi place
>raw fish
Really makes you think...

>> No.12316484

>>12314928
Nah, your brain was just telling you not to fuck a girl with little self control.

Yeah maybe you cringed out because you lacked social intelligence, but youre probably not looking for a one night slag as instantly gratifying as it might sound.

>> No.12316497

>>12315988
based

>> No.12316887

>>12315176
The one and only time I posted a picture of myself on 4chan, which was about 4 years ago at this point, I ended up on an "r9k virgins wall of shame" collage that got circulated around for a while. Thankfully I stopped browsing r9k a long time ago, that board is genuinely damaging to mental health and it's really not a place anybody should visit. Suffice it to say I'm not inclined to post pictures of myself on the internet anymore, certainly not on 4chan.

>> No.12317902

>>12305354
Something about this girl gives off a "pretty woman" vibe. Like she was picked up at 2am in the red light district, cleaned up a little bit, then sat down for a picture. I can't put my finger on it.

>> No.12317973
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>>12306119
Plot twist: OP knew she was LI and wanted to give her braapies.