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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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12295433 No.12295433[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

>Oh hey it's Anon!
>We heard you were a great cook!
>Wanna whip us up something tasty?

So, /ck/, what meal do you cook them?

>> No.12295435

take a massive diarrhea dump on the table, then add some ketchup for flavor

>> No.12295436

>>12295435
so random xD

>> No.12295450

>>12295433
What's with their noses, are they from some illegitimate state or something?

>> No.12295454
File: 1012 KB, 1199x667, 1200px-McD-McChicken_(infobox).png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12295454

For me, it's the McChicken the best fast food sandwich to pass off as a gourmet meal.

>> No.12295456

Vegan pizza

>> No.12295457

>>12295433
Literally me right now. I've agreed to whip up french onion soup this weekend or the next, how fucked am I?

>> No.12295464

>>12295457
Not very, French onion is easy as

>> No.12295474

>>12295433
Fish tacos.

Dead serious. You will get laid

>> No.12295486

>>12295457
Just use a french onion soup mix. wala

>> No.12295488

I’m gay. I don’t cook for women, sorry.

>> No.12295509

>>12295457
Just tske your time with the caramalezation of the onions, that cannot be rushed. Use a good beef stock, plenty of salt and a little cognac or brandy to deglaze.

>> No.12295524

>>12295433
I am 100% convinced the weirdo who posts this thread is one of those screwballs who gets off on the "porno" videos of semi-naked women yelling at a camera and calling it childish names.

>> No.12295526
File: 66 KB, 720x960, 126488874749595442.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12295526

>>12295488
>But you're such a catch, Anon!
>We'll do anything!

>> No.12295534

>>12295526
If first on the left retains his penis and is willing to fuck me up the ass with it, we have a deal.

>> No.12295554

>>12295534
how does it feel knowing you'll die alone

>> No.12295570

Sous vide salmon with dill sauce, wagyu beef tenderloin, potato and leek soup, rugula salad, lobster ravioli, Peking duck, and creme brulee

>> No.12295579

>>12295435
the ketchup would be such a refuge in that dish

>> No.12295584
File: 141 KB, 960x960, gaypregnant.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12295584

>>12295526
Sorry, there's nothing you can offer me that I can't get from men or buy when I need it.

Is that a shemale on the left?

>> No.12295598
File: 228 KB, 1280x853, 126488874749595445.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12295598

>>12295570
>That sounds amazing, Anon!
>Which one of us gets to taste first?

>> No.12295607

>>12295433
who are these bimbos?
i find far left strangely attractive

>> No.12295616

>>12295598
The two brunettes

>> No.12295618

>>12295554
Only heteros risk dying alone. Homo men have so many companions that they will never die alone. Some lesbians can be frigid bitches, but I think they always find people along the way too.

>> No.12295663

>>12295433
I lost 100 shekels by merely looking at this pic.

>> No.12295669

>>12295584
is this a puzzle? who is father?

>> No.12295676

>>12295669
The gay married couple are.

>> No.12295704

>>12295676
but they are gay, how?

>> No.12296070

>>12295433
only right is even remotely attractive enough to be worth cooking for.
1 looks drunk.
2 has enough forehead to power a solar power plant.
3 looks like she kidnaps children, rapes then eats them because she draws her eyebrows on like she's constantly surprised

>> No.12296076

>>12295526
ignore left.
date/marry middle.
do drugs and have stoned sex with right

>> No.12296094
File: 19 KB, 600x327, birth_of_a_jew.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12296094

>>12295450
lol

>> No.12296284

>>12295669
One or both of the faggots. The absolute failure on the left probably provided the seed so the slag could produce the crotch fruit.

>> No.12296288

>>12295433
I'd take them out to Jollibee. It's a Filipino fast food experience.

>> No.12296295
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12296295

>>12295433
he thinks these are attractive wymyn

>> No.12296333

>>12295433
semen based dessert cookbook.jpg

>> No.12296426

They're all scary as fuck. Not even the cheerleader effect can help any of them.

>> No.12296435

>>12295433
>Alright, but you do have to eat all of them.

>> No.12296475

>>12295433
1,4,2,3

>> No.12296477

>>12295433
>no you stupid fat whores
>you're not going to eat all my food
>while being criticizing cunts
>go to McDicks you fat cows

>> No.12296489

>>12296284
i feel so sorry for that babby. death would've been a more merciful fate.

>> No.12296573

>>12295584
Like gays need more children to brainwash and abuse

>> No.12296601
File: 64 KB, 704x960, 126488874749595443.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12296601

>>12296426
>Come on, Anon!
>We know you don't really mean that
>Show us a nice meal!

So, what's on the menu?

>> No.12296642

>>12296601
eggs

>> No.12296652

I don't know these women and I don't have a dick to imagine them slobbering over so I'm not keen to give them things for free like a man would be.

If you'd like to enlist my services, we can negotiate a price per person and a guestlist and from there I would write you a befitting menu. They look like a bunch of vapid whores, so I'm gonna go ahead and say fried appetizers, cheese- and fruit-laden salad entrees, and a French pastry dessert that comes out with sparklers on the plate so they can feel fancy instagramming it.

>> No.12296664

>>12295669
>>12295704
Are you dumb? The woman is acting as surrogate for the gay couple. She had IVF done with one of their sperms and one of her eggs in a laboratory, then the fertilized egg was implanted. There's a huge market for surrogacy, not just for gay couples, but also for infertile women or women with serious health problems.

>> No.12296705

>>12296652
You can post milkers. Kthx.

>> No.12296722

>>12296652
You sound jealous

And fat

>> No.12296759

>>12296722
You sound bitter and beta. Now what?

>>12296705
>what is a blue board

>> No.12296763

>>12296759
Fat man detected.

>> No.12296766

>>12296759
>what is posting on another board and crosslinking
What's your excuse now? Kek.

>> No.12296778

>>12296766
You'll still get a ban for crosslinking NSFW images, are you fucking stupid? Are you new?

>>12296763
Whatever soothes your buttblister.

>> No.12296785
File: 43 KB, 103x199, 1557313445592.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12296785

>>12295584

>> No.12296794

I'd whip 'em up a cumbucha (fermented, slightly alcoholic semen)

>> No.12296806

Something as basic as them.

>> No.12296818
File: 36 KB, 297x365, thisdisguststhejew.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12296818

>>12295598

>> No.12296848

>>12296652
post feet

>> No.12296861

>>12296652
I'd cook for a guy too. There's nothing wrong with an act of kindness and generosity. None of that implies sexual desire to whom you do such an act for.

>> No.12296871

>>12295433
Ugly bitches get a drink, not a home cooked meal

>> No.12296875

I’d sous vide some bone-in chicken thighs and make a quick farm cheese with kalamata olives and cornichones to snack while we wait.

Wine.

While they’re snacking and the chicken is doing it’s thing, I’d pound out some pasta dough and make rotini. ...bitches love rotini.

Pull the chicken, use some of the chicken juice, pasta water, and parmesan to make a lemon & pepper sauce with the pasta.

Top with chicken, parm, & pep.

>> No.12296880

i too love roleplaying with roasties

what subreddit do you browse bro?

>> No.12296886

>>12296652
You've got a pseudo dick, but it's called something else.