Was jesus alcoholic?

[Anonymous No.12293767]

Fill the jars with water”; so they filled them to the brim.
Then he told them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet.”

They did so, and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine.

[Anonymous No.12293775]

>>12293767
>Christ turned water into wine
GAIS HE MUST HAV BIN ALCOHOL
What are you, a pharisee?

[Anonymous No.12293801]

>>12293767
He was first and foremost our Lord and savior, healer of the sick, and shepard of the weak.

But even the Son of God wasn't afraid to use his powers to revive a lame party with some booze. It was a simple common courtesy.

[Anonymous No.12293807]

>>12293767
Christ is your Lord and Savior. Repent.

[Anonymous No.12293828]

People used to drink alcohol because the fermentation process killed bacteria or something right? So the point of Jesus turning water to wine was that he was purifying it probably.

[Anonymous No.12293838]

Did you even read the story?

>literally hundreds of people there like at every other ancient wedding
>wine much cleaner than water and was the customary drink
>wine back in the olds days was very weak (~2%) and may have been watered down further

So there you go. Jesus made lots of weak wine, for lots of people. No alchy here. It's debatable if he even drank alcohol at all, given His office of High Priest.

[Anonymous No.12293863]

>God gives you an easy way out
>just accept his son, which is the cheat code to heaven
>but trying to not follow god's lich son while hoardes of musulman, shepard threatening vegans, and genital harvesting sjws threaten our lands

[Anonymous No.12293873]

>>12293838
How did he actually performed his stunt? Did he just wave his hand like Doug Henning?

[Anonymous No.12293877]

>>12293873
God willed it.

[Anonymous No.12293899]

>>12293838
>>12293767
Except it wasn't a wedding. It was a roman orgy they got invited to

[Anonymous No.12293903]

>>12293873
Jesus told a fig tree that it will never produce fruit again. Soon later it wilted and died. His words are alive. Jesus spat on the floor to make clay, rubbed that clay into a blind man's eyes and he was able to see. Jesus wasn't an ordinary human (obviously).

Jesus made good wine, read the story. The guy said normally the serve the good wine first, then when everyone was drunk they serve the cheap wine, but he considered Jesus wine to be better than what they brought first.

[Anonymous No.12293917]

>>12293899
>t. Liar and blasphemer

[Anonymous No.12293918]

>turns out the bible is an /alc/ thread and christ is smirnoff bro
Oops

[Anonymous No.12293927]

>>12293873
>How did he actually performed his stunt?
He is literally God, the maker of the entire universe, the one who at this very moment is sustaining all things, orchestrating the celestial ballet, and determining the interactions of the smallest of particles.

[Anonymous No.12294028]

>>12293828
the fuck are you talking about?

[Anonymous No.12294031]

>>12294028
Huh?

[Anonymous No.12294033]

>>12293863
>cheat code
There is no cheat code, you need true faith. You cant just yell "save me jeezo!" on your death bed and make it count. God is omnipotent and will see through that shit instantly. If you honestly feel the grace of God at any point in you're life, you'll know it, and that's what matters.
>lich
liches lock their soul into a phylactery to hide from the righteous sight of God, Jesus ascended.

[Anonymous No.12294071]

>>12293767
Dehydrated wine sediment at the bottom of an amphora...

[Anonymous No.12294085]

>>12293917
t.fell for the jewish nofun edit of the bible

[Anonymous No.12294087]

>>12293873
>how did he preform his stunt
It wasn't a stunt.

[Anonymous No.12294095]

>>12294033
Where did you get this from? Proof .

[Anonymous No.12294097]

>>12293903
>Jesus spat on the floor to make clay, rubbed that clay into a blind man's eyes and he was able to see.
Orthokeratology.
>It is believed that, the concept of Ortho-k came from ancient China, where small weights were used on eyelids to reduce myopia.

[Anonymous No.12294098]

>>12294095
The Bible

[Anonymous No.12294199]

>>12293838
look at the Baptistnigger....hey, the Victorian era ended years ago,
yet you still suck the teat of the prohibitionist charlatans

Virtually every scholar agrees that the alcohol content of wine during Biblical times was usually between 5-20%, which is enough to intoxicate.
Ironically, one popular abstentionist argues that the burden of proof should fall on those who claim that Biblical wine contained alcohol. This bold claim is precisely the opposite of reality. The burden of proof always falls on those who are against the consensus of historical scholarship. Such abstentionists have failed to prove that dilution was the universal practice.

Furthermore, many Biblical texts become silly or meaningless if they refer to non-alcoholic grape juice. Would the Shulamite have said to Solomon, “Your love is better than grape juice” (Song of Songs 1:2)?

If wine was super-diluted, why did the good Samaritan pour grape juice on the wounds of the man going to Jericho (Luke 10:34)? Why did Paul counsel Timothy to drink a little grape juice for his stomach (1 Timothy 5:23)?

If wine was basically grape juice, then the weaker brother argument is pointless (Romans 14; 1 Corinthians 8). Why would anyone object to the consumption of grape juice? No one’s faith is threatened by grace juice.

The wine of the Bible had to have been alcoholic. Alcohol can intoxicate, clean wounds, and heal stomach troubles. Grape juice does none of these things.

t.former christian pastor who was deluded for years

[Anonymous No.12294204]

>>12294199
dude no one in rome got drunk, sorry to break it to you

[Anonymous No.12294209]

>>12294098
>what is the source for the bible?
>the bible.
Brilliant.

[Anonymous No.12294210]

>>12294095
Gospels Matthew, Mark, and Luke say that acts are required along with faith. The Gospel of John is more freewheeling with faith and is the only one that says you get a VIP ticket to heaven if you truly believe in Jesus.

I do think, personally, that most people who have more good than evil on their score card at least go to purgatory to get a second chance.

Weither you think this earth that you and me share is actually purgatory itself is an entirely different thing, but ill hedge my bets.

[Anonymous No.12294218]

>>12294204
>Drunken roman orgys never existed
Coping: the post

[Anonymous No.12294229]

"Blest is the man who finds no stumbling block in me."

"John the Baptizer came neither eating bread nor drinking wine, and you say 'He is mad!' The Son of Man came and he both ate and drank, and you say 'Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!' "

[Anonymous No.12294237]

>>12294218
brainlet

[Anonymous No.12294312]

>>12294097
Except this person in the Bible was totally blind since birth. This wasn't a case of myopia. Furthermore it wasn't hardened clay that was placed on the man's eyes, it was more akin to a paste.

[Anonymous No.12294339]

>>12294071
Bullshit. Alcohol will eventually evaporate and the stuff you posted is modern tech stuff. Which even with modern technology is apparently an abomination. You can't dehydrate alcohol dust into alcohol. Once it's dry, it's gone.

[Anonymous No.12294785]

>>12294028
based retard

[Anonymous No.12294794]

>>12293927
>jesus is god meme
jesus is as much god as we all are, maybe a little bit more but still inconsequentially so, he is a lesser aspect, a bridge of mortality and divinity which is why anything bout him is worth jack shit.

[Anonymous No.12294820]

>>12293767
depends who you ask.

>The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and you say, 'Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.'
https://biblehub.com/luke/7-34.htm

>nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
https://biblehub.com/1_corinthians/6-10.htm

[Anonymous No.12295081]

>>12293863
deus vultards might be cringier than trannies on here 2bh

[Anonymous No.12295094]

>>12294794
>a little bit

You have no idea what you're talking about. You are not God, Jesus is God. Jesus is "one with the Father". If you think any human on earth is capable of reaching the same heights as Jesus, you greatly underestimate what Jesus is truly capable of. Jesus willingly came down to earth, and because of this was made lesser than the angels. The potential and true power of the Lord is something our human minds can't even begin to understand.

[Anonymous No.12295232]

fuck yeah I bet he was. I would be if I could turn water into fucking wine. Right now all I can do is turn wine into fucking pee but it would be awesome if I could turn water into wine. Was it always quality wine when Jesus turned water into wine? Or did he sometimes have a bad day and turn water into Thunderbird quality shit? I guess he'd have to taste some each time just to make sure so he'd be fucked up pretty quick. But with that kind of skillz he probably always be invited to parties and shit.

[Anonymous No.12295266]

>>12295232
Jesus bumming around in an alley making thunderbird is so funny to me. Having a nice laugh for myself.

[Anonymous No.12295848]

>>12293828
>People used to drink alcohol because the fermentation process killed bacteria or something right?
No, that's a retarded myth (though usually brought up when people try to discuss Middle Ages rather than this time period). Ancient people didn't drink alcohol as a cleaner alternative to water. Ancient people drank actual water when they wanted to drink water.
>>12294031
>>12294785
No, his response was correct. The idea people drank alcohol as a way to avoid dirty water is stupid as shit and needs to die.

[Anonymous No.12295864]

>>12295848
Where on earth did you read that? It's extremely well documented that the Romans and Ancient Greek mixed wine with their water to make it safer to drink.

[Anonymous No.12295904]

>>12295864
This.
>>12295848
I call bs

[Anonymous No.12295958]

For me it's Budweiser

[Anonymous No.12295996]

>>12295864
>It's extremely well documented
No it fucking isn't. You fell for a retarded meme. We've debunked this a thousand times on /his/.
>>12295904
>I call bs
You call BS on your bullshit being bullshit? What the fuck is wrong with you?
https://knowledgenuts.com/2014/03/03/bad-water-never-made-people-drink-beer-instead/
https://medium.com/@johnrisby/the-clean-alcohol-instead-of-dirty-water-story-is-a-myth-32b0016f1626
https://io9.gizmodo.com/no-medieval-people-didnt-drink-booze-to-avoid-dirty-w-1533442326
https://leslefts.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-great-medieval-water-myth.html
http://www.medievalists.net/2014/07/people-drink-water-middle-ages/

[Anonymous No.12295999]

>>12293767
Jesus was just a crazy dude who thought he was god. A charismatic cult leader with radical ideas the religious establishment didn’t like too. All that miracle perfoming stuff is made-up bullshit that ignorant peasants started saying about him, and I bet half of it wasn’t even said until after he was crucified by the Romans for being an upstart.

[Anonymous No.12296005]

>>12295996
>those sites

lol...

[Anonymous No.12296019]

>>12296005
lololol fuck off. I'm not going to give you an academic dissertation here. Plenty of sources cited in those links if you want more formal information. It's a very common repeated myth, up there with "you only use ten percent of your brain" or "sharks don't get cancer."