/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.12278649]

Confess

[Anonymous No.12278684]

>>12278649
im a natural born female

[Anonymous No.12278694]

Im not really gay, just lonely

[Anonymous No.12278698]

My threads are doing Iron Man numbers.

[Anonymous No.12278699]

I only come here to shitpost, i get banned when i shitpost on /pol/, fucking kike jannies.

[Anonymous No.12278729]

I go to pol to shitpost when I get banned for flooding the board with McChicken threads. Also drinking coffee at 10 pm

[Anonymous No.12278730]

>>12278649
I'm American and make European h8 threads because I'm a lonely cuck faggot.

[Anonymous No.12278737]

not /ck/ related

[Anonymous No.12278743]

>>12278684
POST FEET
O
S
T

F
E
E
T

[Anonymous No.12278757]

>>12278737

Well we *could* be confessing /ck/ related things

But no

[Anonymous No.12278762]

>>12278757
you cant just make a thread with the word confess and call it a ck thread

[Anonymous No.12278769]

>>12278762
Clearly you can

[Anonymous No.12278791]

>>12278649
Every one in a while, when no one is around, I'll... I'll eat a bowl of spaghetti with ketchup on it. It's just so good

[Anonymous No.12278797]

>>12278791
Oh sweety.. :(

[Anonymous No.12278808]

>>12278791
You were raised by a single mother werent you?

[Anonymous No.12278834]

>>12278808
Nah, dad was just super lazy sometimes

[Anonymous No.12278870]

>>12278791

I don't use a single whole tomato in my spaghetti sauce. Not one. Tomato paste and water. Get your disgusting slimy swamp fruits out of my pasta.

[Anonymous No.12278889]

When I don't want anything in particular to eat, I come on here for inspiration for what to order on Postmates

[Anonymous No.12278895]

>>12278743
Never

[Anonymous No.12278910]

>>12278684
You're a real woman to me. What penis?

THAT'S A BOICLIT/FEMININE-PENIS!

You have a vagina!

IT'S YOUR BOIPUCCI

[Anonymous No.12279042]

i tell my friends that im vegan but i eat animal products almost everyday

[Anonymous No.12279173]

>>12279042
Thats funny af!
>holy shit! I hope this is true!

[Anonymous No.12279225]

I think aspic is decently good if you've got food you don't want to throw away, it all depends on what foodstuffs you combine in it

>>12278895
nice baps

[Anonymous No.12279231]

I’ve never successfully made really soft tangzhong/roux bread and I feel sad about that.

[Anonymous No.12279232]

>>12278649
My girlfriend left me so I got depressed and ate 7 slices of pizza and drank a bunch of rum. Now I feel like shit. I'll get over it I guess

[Anonymous No.12279236]

I have crippling anxiety that's sometimes so bad I cant walk through an empty grocery store. It's like my fight or flight response is broken. I tell no one and just live my life to the best of my ability

[Anonymous No.12279238]

>>12278649
I really like Taco Bell's beefy nacho loaded grillers and shredded chicken mini quesadillas, but I never order as many as I want because I don't want to make the employees burn so much time pressing them all. Foil wrapping them and putting them through the heated press seems like a big time sink, and if I ordered ten of each I'd feel like an asshole for giving them a backlog and throwing their time off. So I only ever order a maximum of four between the loaded grillers and mini chicken quesadillas, and cuck myself, and leave without all the food I want.

Silver lining, it does push back the date of my inevitable heart attack.

[Anonymous No.12279384]

>>12279232
>I'll get over it I guess
Yep you'll get over it because you have no choice. iktf.

[Anonymous No.12279414]

>>12279232

[Anonymous No.12279425]

I confess, I once ate a shitload of rose petals, ostensibly as a stunt to prove to my co-workers that rose petals are edible and humans can totally eat them. Unknown to them, my real motivation was, I was homeless at the time and hungrier than a motherfucker, but I was too ashamed to let anyone know. I acted like I was just trying to assert a point, I was popping them back, going "Dudes, I swear, these are edible. Look, I'll eat another handful. *om nom* They actually taste pretty good. Like a mix of apple and strawberry, which makes sense, because they're botanically related to both. This is legitimately food, our bodies are capable of digesting this. Throw this in a salad with some spinach and a vinaigrette, you'd have it going on. "

Meanwhile, my body was going "YES! Nutrients! Consume these to avert death. Eat more. MORE!" At the end of the shift, this girl on staff gave me two dozen of the roses, and insisted I take them home and add them to a salad. I told her I would and that once I threw in some croutons I'd be set for dinner that night, and we all had a good laugh. What they didn't know was that that literally was my dinner that night. I didn't have shit to add to them, couldn't afford no damn greens or dressing, I just straight up ate the petals of two dozen roses out of hunger that evening. And I felt lucky to get them.

To make this story a bit sadder, the roses came from a dumpster. It was the day after Valentines Day and one of the guys had found a dumpster full of them behind a florist, overstock, like. Filled the bed of his truck with them and brought them in for everybody to give to their SOs as a surprise. So these roses I was eating were slightly wilted, and also covered with pesticides, which even though I washed them thoroughly I know I was getting some of. Didn't care. Homeless.

[Anonymous No.12279430]

I don't know what sous vide is

[Anonymous No.12279432]

I only eat fast food. I'm homeless and roughing it in my car so I can't really ever cook.

[Anonymous No.12279444]

>>12279430
Honey, use a search engine. You have the internet at your finger tips!

[Anonymous No.12279454]

>>12278649
Despite learning how to cook and trying to be decent with every meal, and succeeding, it's all quite good, I still crave shitty fast food, instant noodles and dollar store absolute garbage.

It's just what I grew up with.

[Anonymous No.12279455]

>>12278910
No, a boipuccu is always the bum of one who has no other lower orifices. The pussy of a pre-op woman born with a penis is the gash that has not yet been surgically realized. Your language is utterly transphobic, but you can be forgiven at this point because society has not fully ascended. You just need to be open to future truth.

[Anonymous No.12279456]

>>12279425
Whew. Heavy. What'd you have to eat today?

[Anonymous No.12279462]

>>12279455
No beautiful woman should EVER cut off her delicate-feminine-penis-boiclit! Are you encouraging those WOMEN to get an open wound that never heals?!

[Anonymous No.12279474]

>>12278649
Don’t be a fag, Mr. Man, he’ll find his special other next time around.

[Anonymous No.12279478]

>>12279474
Meant for
>>12279414

[Anonymous No.12279483]

I mix equal parts of mayo and ketchup as a sauce for my french fries.
I love pineapple on pizza.
Bacon is not that good.
Cheese based french dishes are so good, fuck vegetables.

[Anonymous No.12279505]

>>12279483
>I mix equal parts of mayo and ketchup as a sauce for my french fries.
Just Thousand Island, man.

[Anonymous No.12279524]

>>12279505
I'm eurofag, whe don't have that.
Here most people go with ketchup, mayo or something else, mixing them is heresy.

People who mix mayo ketchup and mustard deserve to be shot tho.

[Anonymous No.12279611]

>>12279456
A Jack Link's snack stick and about 3 ounces of Bush's baked beans. And a Reese cup.

This is fine. I have the rest of the can of beans to last me all day tomorrow, and two slices of leftover pizza. This is workable. Not sustainable, but for the moment, I'm okay.

[Anonymous No.12279623]

I'm really really a drunkie. Drank yesterday like alot. Woke up today still drunk.. Probably gonna be the same tomorrow. Oh i'm also vegan

[Anonymous No.12280108]

>>12279173
sad, but true

[Anonymous No.12280125]

>>12278649
i have never eaten a hamburger or a cheeseburger before
i only eat pizza, fries, chicken nuggets, and chips.
yes, i am underweight.
what should i get on my first burger? where should i get it from?

[Anonymous No.12280224]

>>12278649
i once put the brine from a jar of jalapenos in a cup and drank it, and liked it

[Anonymous No.12280256]

>>12278649
I exclusively shitpost on /vp/. Not even good shitposts. I am the cancer. I don't even know why I do it.

[Anonymous No.12280306]

>>12279623
Beware of fish used as a fining agent or gelatin for clarifying in some beers

[Anonymous No.12280356]

>>12278649
Sometimes I'm lazy and I don't reverse sear my steaks and just cook them in a pan.
I enjoy Wendy's every now and then. I can't have enough of their new sauce, it's like fucking crack.

[Anonymous No.12281848]

>>12278649
i will become an alcoholic at one point

[Anonymous No.12281854]

i finally embraced our reddit bros from /pol/

[Anonymous No.12281855]

>>12278649
I can tell the difference between butter and I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.

[Anonymous No.12282047]

>>12278649
I make butter chicken with sushi rice

[Anonymous No.12282071]

>>12278649
I use a entire stick of butter on two pieces of toast on both sides
I like to eat steak well done
I like my hamburgers well done
I throw away my cooking equipment after I get done using them.
I unironically love to chew on bones like a dog

[Anonymous No.12282489]

>>12282071
ground beef should be cooked a little more than normal to be desu, something about surface area being exposed

[Anonymous No.12282496]

>>12278649
i eat too much canned food, canned beans, canned corn, canned tuna, on daily bases.

[Anonymous No.12282500]

>>12279232
just ride the waves man, and let time do its thing.

[Anonymous No.12283246]

>>12278649
I’m 37, white with children. I cook. And I participate here. Is that weird?

[Anonymous No.12283257]

>>12278649
I put unsweetened yogurt in the scrambled eggs and it tasted good.
Also, I'm out of limes so I squeezed a clementine over my canned tuna. Salted it and it was delicious.

[Anonymous No.12283320]

I hate Americans who talk about food with passion.

Couple days ago there was some cringy American YouTuber complaining that 'Italians do not dictate how their diaspora should enjoy their cooking' and then proceeds to pour creme in his 'Bolognese' sauce. They just don't get they're taking a heap of shit on some countries food. I can't be bothered that your dead 3% Italian grandma used to make it like this back in time, it's not Italian cooking neither is it a 'Bolognese'. Name it your fucking own, call it American or whatever. These dishes have a place, but by naming it with a traditional name and calling it Italian you're literally replacing someone's regional kitchen.
This two split of both being proud of being American and boasting about your European heritage doesn't make any fucking sense.

Worst is that American channels/blogs/recipe websites dominate the internet, making it often hard to find actual original recipes. Which just makes it damaging in the end: it's not salty Italians raging at Americans only, it's New Yorkers spreading their own version of Italian culture and simply because of media and English as linga franca starting to replace it. Fuck off with the cream in carbonara.

Next is 'Dutch baby'. Some stupid pancake that as a Dutchman I've never seen before. Apparantly it's inspired by some German dish but it's American in the end, by a creator that didn't finish school or whatever.

Apparantly Indiana people think they invented the Schnitzel Sandwich..

Shit like this make you bunch look fucking retarded and just simply annoying to deal with.

[Anonymous No.12283338]

i once made a pizza with storebought dough, onions and a glass of ragu fin, sprinkled with some pecorino
it was amazing btw

[Anonymous No.12283362]

>>12283246
Not really since the children aren't yours.

[Anonymous No.12283408]

>>12283320
>Worst is that American channels/blogs/recipe websites dominate the internet, making it often hard to find actual original recipes.

man, this x9,001

I'm Amerifat, but whenever I wanna look for say, Italian recipes or Japanese or whatever, if you look up recipes, even japanese ones, you'll get like 'JAPANESE STYLE PANKO BREADED MAC AND CHEESE WITH WASABI' from better homes & gardens cooking subwebsite type of random bullshit, and it's impossible tos ift through.

now what I do believe it or not, is if, for example, I'd like to figure out how to make a Japanese dish, I'll google translate the name into kanji or katakana or w/e it is, and then i'll go to google.co.jp and paste it, then find a webpage, navigate via pictures and google translate.

[Anonymous No.12283410]

>>12283320
>Apparantly Indiana people think they invented the Schnitzel Sandwich..

It's true, you see giant signs up saying, Schnitzel Sandwiches, or the Original Hoosier Schnitzel, with big fryers tubs of pickles, and onions sitting outside every carnival and hog festival.

What's really insulting is people from Illinois serving chops or grilling them in restaurants and calling them Schnitzels, them crazy Illinoisians.

[Anonymous No.12283416]

Oh pd

[Anonymous No.12283460]

>>12283320
Well next time don’t switch sides in the world war and don’t make life so bad for your people that they flea to NY in lieu of starving to death, and then you can decide that old world Italian is Italian.
>btw, American here, but I lived and studied Italian grandma cooking from an Italian grandma for about two years. Lived with an Italian jew named susana at a pensione in San Gimignano. I worked her little field and did here mise prep in exchange for lessons. 10/10 would do again.

[Anonymous No.12283465]

>>12283460
Don't bring up European politics. They don't understand responsibility and will play pass the blame and rewrite history.

[Anonymous No.12283494]

>>12283362
shut the fuck up m8
you dont know shit about my children, atleast i have a family unlike your basement dwelling ass

[Anonymous No.12283682]

>>12283494
He mad.

[Anonymous No.12283690]

>>12278649
polished another box of Krispy Kremes
no water in 10 hours

[Anonymous No.12283875]

Ate an entire box of hot n spicy cheese it's again :(

[Anonymous No.12283961]

>>12279238
Loaded grillers are the best thing Taco Bell has. And don't worry about those fags making it, it's their job. You're an asshole for not buying more desu.

[Anonymous No.12284390]

>>12278895
Please switch bodies with me

[Anonymous No.12284400]

I don't know how to cook
I like fast food and chain pizza
I don't drink
I've lost most of my motivation and emotion yet I don't know why
I haven't jacked off all day
sometimes I wish I was magically turned into a woman just so I can have something new in life and a fresh start.

[Anonymous No.12284417]

>>12278649
I consume a gallon of ice cubes everyday. I also never tip my bartender

[Anonymous No.12284430]

I dip white bread in tap water, its been my favorite breakfast since i was 4 years old.

[Anonymous No.12284440]

I eat shit (if I eat at all), but everytime I cook for someone I prepare something that I actually put effort and quality into

[Anonymous No.12284461]

I spend a lot of time wondering whether claire's bush has a grey streak as well

[Anonymous No.12284954]

I am very lazy with cooking and will eat toast with tomato paste spread on top and Italian seasoning mixes sprinkled on it.

[Anonymous No.12284969]

>>12279425
>has a job
>homeless
Either a larp or a moron who wastes their money on addict shit, either way you get no sympathy from me.

[Anonymous No.12284993]

>>12278649
i was mean to my mom tonight but she was really gettig on my nerves. she kept on asking me give her a b12 injection and i told her we'll do it before she goes to bed, then she asks again and i snap at her and thats when she retreated.

i feel bad because i can imagine she'll probably go to sleep upset, if not crying, but at the same time, her constant nagging wasn't helping her cause. am i in the wrong ck

[Anonymous No.12285026]

>>12284461
I'm thinking her panties have a brown streak going through em since she is /ourguy/ afterall

[Anonymous No.12285036]

>>12278895
Kill yourself attention whore

[Anonymous No.12285254]

>>12278649
I once boiled a steak while I boiled chicken breast to compare the two, and then ended up discarding the steak after one bite

[Anonymous No.12285577]

>>12279414
Have sex incel freak

[Anonymous No.12285581]

>>12279483
>>12279524
Are you me?

[Anonymous No.12285661]

>>12284993
Yes you were. Apologize and love her with everything you have

[Anonymous No.12285690]

>>12278649
I don't eat. I post here but I cannot remember the last time I have actually eaten anything.

[Anonymous No.12286403]

I eat a mayo sandwich when I'm stressed

[Anonymous No.12287297]

>>12284390
>>>/lgbt/
>>>/hrtgen/

[Anonymous No.12287311]

I want everyone to live harmoniously. You all deserve love.

[Anonymous No.12287329]

I love Burger King and KFC without being black

[Anonymous No.12287343]

I eat oven fries and pasta with heavy cream most days because I spend all my money on weed. Food has lost its appeal to me after 10 years of being depressed anyways so I don't care. I come here out of habit nowadays.