Worst thing that happened to you while cooking/ in the kitchen

[Anonymous No.12238074]

>quickly lift up my mortar
>forget that there's still chili powder in it
>all of it flies in my eyes
>burns like absolute hell
>spend the next 20-30 minutes to wash out my eyes with water and milk

[Anonymous No.12238266]

>>12238074
Nothing, I have never made a single mistake while cooking

[Anonymous No.12238271]

>add spices to stir fry
>makes me sneeze
thats it

[Anonymous No.12238312]

>>12238074
I was making cookies just before bed, so I was just wearing my boxers. I pulled the cookie sheet out of the oven and turn around quickly, jamming the oven door into my hip and burning the skin. Luckily I didn't burn my johnson.

[Anonymous No.12238459]

>drunk making boiled sausages
>laughing
>hmm is the water done
>aggressively jerk pot towards me
>boiling water spills all over foot

I had a blister the size of a tablespoon

[Anonymous No.12238937]

>>12238459
Water can't cause a burn, it's water idiot, that's what they put on burns to heal them

[Anonymous No.12239084]

>>12238074
My arm touched the heated coil on my broiler, burned through to the fat

[Anonymous No.12239109]

>>12238074
>kind of drunk
>preheating cast iron skillet full of olive oil on grill
>go inside to get steaks
>come back, open grill
>pan is on fucking fire
>quickly grab it with an oven mitt and set it on the concrete
>giant pillar of flame contained in a pan
>watch it burn until it goes out

Was pretty neat actually, still use that pan. Cast iron is magic

[Anonymous No.12239112]

everytime I burned myself on that stupid fucking 550 degree piece of shit oven

[Anonymous No.12239148]

>>12239109
I have a giant cast iron fucker is heavy, I was cooking like 6 burgers in it at the same time, my gf thought she'd be helpful and take them out to flip them. She pulled the pan out but it was way too heavy and all the burgers and grease fell down into the oven. She just runs into the room panicking, I have no idea what's going on, follow her into the kitchen and the gas oven is literally on fire inside, all the grease is burning. I grabbed the fire extinguisher and put it out... not sure why SHE didn't do that right away, she was practically incoherent with fear.

[Anonymous No.12239155]

>>12239148
>women touches thing
>ruins it
A tale as old as time itself

[Anonymous No.12239160]

>>12239109
Kek enjoy your burnt food bro

[Anonymous No.12239169]

When I lived in a student house I bought a new knife and was literally the only real sharp knife in the kitchen - the rest were just serrated stainless steel. After about a month I started keeping it in my bedroom because ALL FOUR of my housemates cut themselves on it.

[Anonymous No.12239207]

>Struggling to pull out yorkshire pudding that's massively puffed up after being cooked in the oven.
>Use the top of my hand to slightly lift the rack above while I'm pulling the dish out.
>Have permanent scar on hand from where I basically branded myself on the red hot rack

[Anonymous No.12239253]

>>12238937
How about I throw a pot of boiling water over your face just to confirm

[Anonymous No.12239254]

>>12239207
Reminds me of when I was a fast food cuck. Guess what burnt me btw

[Anonymous No.12239504]

>>12239109
Happened to me a couple days ago
Made pic related, went to put it on the stove to re-season before putting it away. Stove is a retarded electric, so I put some oil on it and it immediately burst into flames. Set off the fire alarm in my apt complex lmao

[Anonymous No.12239654]

ended up getting a load of greek seasoning into my rice because I thought it was the salt shaker.
it did not taste at all acceptable.

[Anonymous No.12239680]

>>12238074
>almost overflow a cup with coffee
>"I just need to take it to the table, no biggie"
>it starts spilling over my fingers
>"FUCK FUCK FUCK, I SHOUDLN'T DROP THE CUP"
>it keeps spilling
>get it to the table
>"Success!"
>second degree burns
I should have just dropped it or used a plate.

[Anonymous No.12239878]

Not me but my neighbor
>16
>Get really high
>Home alone
>Want french fries
>Start hearing up oil in a pot
>Drop in frozen fries
>Oil starts spitting out and a bit catches on fire on the stove
>Panic
>Fill up a big bowl of water
>Dump it on the oil fire
>Huge eruption of fire
>Burn entire house down

[Anonymous No.12239918]

>>12238074
>Worst thing that happened to you while cooking/ in the kitchen

Roommates

[Anonymous No.12239991]

>>12238074
Fuckin white peopme can’t handle spicy food. Cute.

[Anonymous No.12240217]

>>12239254
>Guess what burnt me btw
a nigger no doubt

[Anonymous No.12240257]

>make a full-size pizza from scratch over the course of an hour
>comes out beautiful
>set it on rack to cool
>slides off and falls on the floor face down

[Anonymous No.12240290]

>>12239148
>woman acts like literal child
>mind goes blank from stress
pottery

[Anonymous No.12240469]

>>12238074
Wasn't in the kitchen, but
>be 18, just finished high school, camping with friends at schoolies (australian school finishing tradition)
>be tipsy, decide with friends to start cooking before the sun goes down
>put way too much oil in a pan
>barely any light left but think I don't need it
>put steak into pan, dropping it towards me
>burning oil splashes all over my right thumb and the area between my thumb and index finger
>fucking ouch
>put my hand in a bucket of water for half the night, but later while drunk and high also put 2 band aids on it, she'll be right
>next morning, wake up and pull the band aids off, taking band aid shaped patches of skin off with them
>ouch, time to go to hospital
Had second degree burns. To this day I don't know what I was thinking when I put those band aids on.

[Anonymous No.12240485]

Accidentally créme pied my French gf

[Anonymous No.12240490]

I dropped a freshly fried egg on my bare foot when drunkenly removing it from the pan. The skin peeled off the top of my foot a few days later.

[Anonymous No.12241153]

>>12239878
BE COOL ABOUT FIRE SAFETY
(BE COOL)

[Anonymous No.12241165]

>>12239148
>Woman
>Ruining a thing
>Not sure why
Does somebody want to tell him?

[Anonymous No.12241189]

Gotta be oil burns on my belly. Used to make fried bread at 2am while in me underwears.
Runner-up is probably every time that I really wanted a dish to work, only to fuck-up somewhere and ruin a whole family meal or office carry-in entrée.
Oh, and once I was high and threatened to stab my sister. Kitchen experience, though not food related.

[Anonymous No.12241380]

>>12238074
Hot oil from the pan sprayed into my eye. It sounds horrible but I don't think it even hurt, just felt unpleasant.

[Anonymous No.12241392]

Made the stupid mistake of trying to airflip the first pancake in a batch. I should have known the first one is always fucked up.
It landed on my naked tummy and gave me a very educational burn.

[Anonymous No.12241413]

I was fuckin' this broad in the kitchen while makin' some homamade pizza colzones. So I had her bent over the stove while I was rollin' the dough out and this mouse ran over the girls foot. Naturally, the bitch fuckin' screams in my ear, scared the shit outta me. She's tellin' me ta kill the mouse, rat, whatever the fuck this thing is and so I take my pin and throw go to whack it. This little brown shit was still speedin' down the hallway, like he was the fuckin' star of a fast and furrious movie and so I throw the pin at him. Now, unbeknownst to me, my fuckin' room mate was just comin' out of the bathroom. The pin landed on his foot, and he starts freakin' out, sayin' his toes are broke or some shit. He takes out his penknife and he stabs me in the thigh, hurt like a bitch, and all cause a that fuckin' mouse. I've still got the scar too, that piece of shit.

[Anonymous No.12241419]

>be pulling out baked goods
>top of hand touches the inside of the oven and get burned

Those burns suck ass as they last for like a week or more and they're constantly hurting.

[Anonymous No.12241420]

>walk into work one morning
>feel like a faggot for once so I'll get some tea to warm up
>hold the cup under the boiling water tap
>proceed to pour water on my hand instead
fuck that shit I stuck to coffee after

[Anonymous No.12241434]

>>12238074
I made caramalised carrots for Chirstmas day and my mate's vegan guest took them out of the oven and dumped a load (literally about half a pint) of golden syrup on them without my knowledge. I realised when the sugar burned and set the fire alarms off, chucked out the ruined carrots (I assumed that I'd just burned them to char by my own mistake at this point) and started again. I was infusing the butter with garlic when the gremlin came over and said that I need to buy more golden syrup and I must'nt forget to put it on the carrots this time, and then they tried to have a go at me for using butter on the carrots because it's not vegan. My mate made a point to sit her far away from me at dinner time.

[Anonymous No.12241437]

>>12241434
A minor situation that I did enjoy from the same Christmas was when a different mate's girlfriend thought she was being helpful and washed up my cast iron, so the next day I sent them both up to Tesco's to buy some cast iron pan reseasoning solution.

[Anonymous No.12241441]

From what I've gathered In this thread you fuckers need to a) put on a fuckin shirt while cooking and b) stop cooking while drunk

[Anonymous No.12241451]

>>12238074
>Take oven tray out of hot as fuck oven
>press it entirely on my other arm
>two months later and I still have the scar

[Anonymous No.12241477]

>>12239918
ALWAYS

[Anonymous No.12241491]

>>12241441
It's good advice, I'm not gonna deny it, but sometimes a man is just shirtless and drunk and he wants a pancake or burger or whatever.
Don't you fucking try and tell me you haven't been there yourself.

[Anonymous No.12241563]

>>12241153
>>12239878

[Anonymous No.12241571]

>>12241451
that's the thing about scars, is they don't go away

[Anonymous No.12241608]

>>12238074
>make some cheese-covered thing that had to be put into oven.
>after putting it in, discover I still have some leftover cheese scraps on cutting board
>instead of taking the pan out, open oven, lean in and brush cheese pieces from board to pan
>while doing so think "this is pretty stupid, I bet I'm going to burn myself"
>actually do it without burning myself
>just one last piece...
>brush it off, and in the process, literally smack my finger into the heating filament at the oven's top
>burn mark on finger for a month

[Anonymous No.12241609]

>>12241441
>a) put on a fuckin shirt while cooking
Cooking without a shirt has always seemed weird to me. I guess you see guys doing it in movies or commercials or whatever, but they're always buff. In real life people who are into cooking are most likely skinny fat at best, so you'd think they don't want to look at their own bodies

[Anonymous No.12241952]

>Making caramel sauce in a pan
>Melting sugar
>Take pan off heat
>Tard me dips my finger in sauce to taste sugary goodness
>Boiling molten sugar sticks to my finger
>Severe burn on finger

Hurt like a motherfucker.

[Anonymous No.12241986]

>>12240257
I was pissed enough when this happened with a nice frozen pizza. I'd be enraged and crestfallen. I feel your pain.

[Anonymous No.12241992]

>>12241189
I did smack a chefs knife on the counter and point it when my dad and brother we're drunk as shit full on not joshing fucking with me about something else while I was trying to cook food for us all. They'd been pissing me off all day.
I regret it for multiple reasons. That poor edge didn't deserve that.

[Anonymous No.12241996]

>>12241413
Kek, not bad, /tv/.

[Anonymous No.12241999]

>>12241441
Nail on the head, and I hadn't even told mine.
>drunk as shit
>burn chicken cordon bleu to charcoal in the oven
>hulk smash one in drunken rage
>molten cheese coats naked stomach and chest
>scream so loud everyone wakes up
>blisters the size of my fist

[Anonymous No.12242012]

>>12238074
>epileptic seizure while cutting tomatoes
>7 stab wounds in my chest and face

[Anonymous No.12242355]

>>12242012
How'd that one happen? I've seen people have seizures and it seems like all the muscles stay frozen, just the body itself trembles. How did you move your hand?

[Anonymous No.12243260]

>>12241999
Tard rage

[Trashy the Incontinent No.12243288]

>>12238266

[Anonymous No.12243295]

>>12238074
I've actually blown into it with a mixture of chilies, cinnamon, cloves, black pepper, and other spices in it (was cooking African). Don't know what the fuck I was thinking.

[Anonymous No.12243307]

Probably trying to behead a duck with a dull knife
Duck didnt even turn out good

started eating out more after that

[Anonymous No.12243879]

>>12239680
Kek

[Anonymous No.12243909]

>>12242355
Arms and hands are likely to twitch, sometimes violently. My epileptic sister gets arm spasms when she's seizing

[Anonymous No.12243922]

> be me
> looking to grind some spices
> pick up mortar
> looks a bit dusty
> blow into it to clean it out
> black pepper right in my eyes
> holy fuck that hurts
> burning subsides after 10 mins of rinsing
> serves me right for being retarded

[Anonymous No.12243984]

I go to work after not sleeping much the night before. When cutting my first onion of the day the knife slips and cuts right through the top of my nail and thumb. Hurts like fuck. Immediately grab tissue and apply pressure. Co worker comes to see if I'm ok. She bandages me up with steri strips. Tells me it's fine, but I should go to the doctors. I go and sit outside because I feel faint. Next thing my manager comes out. They tell me I need to go to the doctor. I think I'm fine, but I oblige. They're going to pay the bill anyway. Get to doctor and wait for half an hour. He peels off the plasters, blood everywhere, I see the top of my thumb is missing, something nobody had told me at this point. Get bandaged up. Go back to work. Ask co worker about it. She says she didn't want to tell me I'd chopped off a bit because she didn't want me to freak out.
Later find out the knives had all been sharpened the previous day and nobody had told me. Got the piss taken out of me for ages for it.
Had to work front of house for the next week, with a sling on, to let it heal.
Don't even have a scar because I looked after it so well.

[Anonymous No.12244010]

>>12243984

How did you manage to cut yourself with a sharp knife? Its so much more difficult than with a dull guy.

[Anonymous No.12244041]

>>12244010
Being so used to the knives being incredibly blunt, I expected the blade to stop when it hit my nail, like they always did

[Anonymous No.12244075]

>>12238074
>work in seafood resteraunt
>date FoH manager who is 8 years older than me
>lasts two & half months before she ends it
Last 9 months have been agony working with her

[Anonymous No.12244114]

touched dick after touching hot peppers
dick got super hot/itchy, i got mega nervous, didn't realize it was from the pepper
at this point in my life i was sexually active with multiple females
assumed std
go to dr.'s for test
realize what had happened while i'm describing the situation to her
still pee in the cup and give blood any way, too embarrassed to say that i was cooking peppers naked and touched my dick
oh well

[Anonymous No.12244119]

>>12238074
Hot grease spit into my eyeball when frying chicken

[Anonymous No.12244218]

>>12238266
>Nothing, I have never made a single mistake while cooking

[Anonymous No.12244313]

>>12238074
>forgot i was boiling some eggs
>hear popping sounds from the kitchen
>smell sulfur
>Fuck!
No water in the pan. All the eggs were half exploded and blackened. The house stank for days.

[Anonymous No.12244897]

>>12240257
>>12241986
>I'd be enraged and crestfallen.
You'd be crust-fallen.

[Anonymous No.12244923]

>>12238266
Your mother made a mistake while cooking you up.

[Anonymous No.12244933]

>>12243922
>> serves me right for being retarded
I love this thread because this is the moral of every story.

Mine is this:
>practicing flipping pancakes
>put in a lot of extra butter to make it more slippery
>immediately spill a ton of butter on the burner
>almost started a grease fire
Luckily I didn't but I've only been cooking for myself regularly for less than a year so I'm sure I'll have get some better stories some time.

[Anonymous No.12244953]

my mom passed away while I was helping her make dinner. have never made or eaten fettucini alfredo since.

[Anonymous No.12244963]

>Pouring coffee into a mug over my lap while sitting down like a retard
>Something my wife says distracts me
>I look away and instantly start pouring coffee onto my wrist and thigh
>Hurts really bad but I focus all of my mental energy into not making any sudden movements because I don't want to spill what's already in the mug and make it worse
>Instead of screaming I said "whoa mama" while pouring hot coffee onto myself while my wife watches in horror

it hurt all day

[Anonymous No.12244975]

>>12244313
My sister did this, lol
Decided to make boiled eggs at like 2 AM
falls back asleep and leaves like 4 eggs on the burner
My dad wakes up to smoke and eggs on fire in a pot and he starts fucking roaring like an elephant

[Anonymous No.12244983]

>>12244933
I got my friend's parents to go mostly keto, eating clean and they lost a good amount of weight, but for some reason one night went and ate AYCE salty ass pizza, friend's mom had a heart attack when she got home and died. Still wonder if she'd be alive if she had kept eating shit, maybe I fucked with her tolerances

[Anonymous No.12244997]

>>12244897

[Anonymous No.12244999]

>>12243909
imagine if she had a seizure while grabbing your dick haha

[Anonymous No.12245003]

>>12244963
dakimakuras don't talk you liar

[Anonymous No.12245005]

>>12244963
How dare you have a wife in my presence you bastard I hope that water burned

[Anonymous No.12245020]

>>12245003
that's what's great about em

>>12245005
i'm sure you're a catch anon

[Anonymous No.12245198]

>>12244075
Come on, this is basic shit. Never date or have sex with coworkers. Its never worth it

[Anonymous No.12245203]

>>12244963
>Whoa mama

[Anonymous No.12245382]

>>12245198
Thing that sucks is
A) one of the cooks is dating one of the waitresses (past 2 years)
B) Kitchen manager met his wife who was the old FoH Manager
C) different chef is dating one chick who works in kitchen (5-6+ months or so

What’s worse is she isn’t even the first coworker I slept with (although that one was leaving right as we got involved, and she didn’t want a serious relationship so I ended it).

[Anonymous No.12245396]

>>12244963
>the virgin squeal vs the Chad whoa

[Anonymous No.12245408]

>>12239253
Water doesn't burn, it scalds

[Anonymous No.12245417]

>>12245408
it evaporates you mong.

[Anonymous No.12245424]

>>12241419
>Touch oven for less than a second
>Permanent scar

[Anonymous No.12245480]

>>12244999
She's 11

[Anonymous No.12245499]

>>12245480
Epileptics tend to die young, and most people want a sexual experience before they die. The cancer ward of a children's hospital is a great place to roam if you're a pedo.

[Anonymous No.12245577]

>>12240257
>heat up bown of chilli
>put sour cream and cheese inside of it
>drop bowl
>all of it hits the floor
>school it all back up and eat it while depressingly picking out hairs and dirt

[Anonymous No.12245590]

>>12241392
>>12241609
I'm not fat.
Although I am working on trimming up a bit more.

[Anonymous No.12245624]

What comes to mind

Was at my grandparents and made a turmeric drink (golden milk) for my grandmother who was feeling under the weather. After having poured the drink into a cup and was walking over to give it to her, our family dog bumped into my leg, which caused me to lose my balance, splashing the drink all over the kitchen.
For those who are not familiar with just how much of a pain turmeric stains are to get out, be aware; it's a bitch. The kitchen still has remnants of the yellow blasting zone
It had even taken me some convincing to make her try out the drink (which is really healthy) and after this she wouldn't let me use turmeric in her kitchen again.
Goddamn it, turmeric. Why must thou stain so?

[Anonymous No.12245693]

>>12241571
I wish my self harm scars would go away.

[Anonymous No.12245825]

>>12245590
god I want to rub that tunmy

[Anonymous No.12245875]

>working in fast food at the fryer
>Pour in frozen chicken wings
>one misses the impossible to fuck up giant metal net
>brain lags and I sove my hand directly into the bubbling oil to grab it
>end up with blisters over three fingers and the bottom pinky side of my hand

Yeah it was really dumb

[Anonymous No.12245882]

>>12245693
Me too. I got a tattoo on the inside of my elbow to try and cover them up but it only highlighted them so now I hate wearing short sleeves even more than before

[Anonymous No.12245961]

>>12244975
This is why I always use my rice cooker to boil eggs now. I've fallen asleep in a drunken stupor many times while waiting and woke up to fresh boiled eggs with no bad after effects

[Anonymous No.12245970]

>>12238266
Well yeah, how could you fuck up throwing your tendies in the microwave for 3 minutes?

[Anonymous No.12245975]

>>12239109
>preheating cast iron skillet full of olive oil on grill
Stop reading here. You are retarded.

[Anonymous No.12247378]

>>12245480
that just makes it hotter