Trying to infect myself with salmonella

[jevin No.12231565]

What would be a surefire way to get salmonella poisoning? I read somewhere that in some cases it could even give you typhus, that's what I would like. Any tips?

t. jevin

[Anonymous No.12231570]

>>>/lgbt/

[Anonymous No.12231572]

>>>/lgbt/

[Anonymous No.12231578]

You aren’t actually though, so why go through the trouble of making this pointless thread?

[jevin No.12231585]

>>12231578
If you're not going to contribute maybe you should get out of my thread buddy

[Anonymous No.12231589]

>>12231565

Literally eat raw chicken, surely it isn't that hard

[Anonymous No.12231772]

Just sprinkle some earth in a wound and get a quick tetanus.

[Anonymous No.12232229]

is this the latest in faggot fashion? got bored with HIV?

>Faggots make up 2% of the population, but 70% of new HIV cases
https://cdc.gov/hiv/group/msm/index.html
>Bug chasing: Men deliberately trying to catch HIV
https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/bug-chasing-men-deliberately-trying-2033433
>A man has been convicted of trying to infect 10 men with HIV in a "campaign" to infect as many as possible.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-41928938
>Gay subculture in 'bug chase' sees HIV as desirable
https://www.theage.com.au/national/gay-subculture-in-bug-chase-sees-hiv-as-desirable-20070421-ge4pqy.html
>Chilling HIV undercurrent: Some want virus
https://www.timesfreepress.com/news/local/story/2013/jan/27/chilling-hiv-undercurrent-some-want-virus/98144/
>Bug Chaser Explores the Need for Dangerous Sexual Fulfillment
https://www.out.com/2016/3/22/watch-chaser-explores-need-dangerous-sexual-fulfillment
>In Barebacking Culture, H.I.V. Is Embraced, Not Avoided
https://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2013/11/28/how-will-aids-be-eradicated/in-barebacking-culture-hiv-is-embraced-not-avoided

And a clinical study proving that it's real, because so many deluded faggots screech that it's media lies.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4768590/

How do you intend to infect others though? You can't just go around raping little boys and hoping they catch salmonella. Best to stick with the plague you know, and besides, you already have HIV.

[Anonymous No.12232236]

>>12232229
based and redpilled, fuck faggots

[jevin No.12232386]

>>12232229
It's nearly impossible to catch salmonella from another human and while I am bisexual it is not my intention to infect others. I'm currently undergoing heroin withdrawal after deciding to man up and quit the smack and read somewhere that salmonella would get my mind off of the withdrawal symptoms.

[Anonymous No.12232405]

>>12232386
Its not nearly impossible as you say.
My daughter got salmonella from her cousin who gave her something to eat from the same spoon.

[jevin No.12232411]

>>12232405
Sounds like your daughter is a faggot, buddy

[Anonymous No.12232425]

>>12232386
Getting chewed on by a pack of wild dogs would probably take your mind off the withdrawal pains as well, doesn't make it a very good idea. If you feel the need to torture yourself to take the mind off, then i dunno, buy those sugerfree gummies that give you the hypershits or something, has to be better than willfully catching your death.

[Anonymous No.12232501]

>>12232386
>salmonella would get my mind off of the withdrawal symptoms
retarded. making yourself worse so you feel better is not going to work. i've gone through smack withdrawal like 500 times, it's just a case of laying in bed for a week feeling horrific and constantly reminding yourself that you almost certainly won't die. weed will help endlessly. getting drunk can also help if you're drinking so much that you pass out multiple times daily - literally if you become conscious, chug vodka until you are not, then repeat non-stop until the smack has fucked off and has stopped tormenting you.
it's really not that hard. heroin withdrawal is a picnic compared with booze withdrawal. unless you've been injecting for decades, the pain and the fear is near enough gone within 2-7 days. giving yourself a colostomy bag and risking death just to get off smack is dumb as hell.

[Anonymous No.12232521]

>>12231565
13 replies in and this thread is retarded, however already more entertaining than the endless fast food or CI/non stick circle jerk threads

still, you're a faggot OP

[jevin No.12232740]

i love salm
BUT NOT SALMONELLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous No.12232757]

>>12232740
>bumping your own thread
>"wtf"ing your own post
>forgetting to delete name
>spells 'salmon' "salm"
Masterful

[jevin No.12232775]

>>12232757
wat?????

[jevin No.12232893]

>>12232775
Stop pretending to be me asshole

[jevin No.12232920]

>>12232775
>>12232893
Stop it for fucks sake, both of you

[Anonymous No.12232929]

You are in luck if you are American.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMiBTj5XBxs

Therefore you have a 4-18% of getting it.

[jevin No.12232933]

Disregard this thread, i suck cocks

[jevin No.12232937]

I like cocks in my ass

[jevin No.12232951]

>>12232933
>>12232937
guys this is serious

[jevin No.12232970]

>>12232933
>>12232937
>>12232951
Come on please!!! Stop impersonating me

[Anonymous No.12232977]

>>12232933
>>12232937
>>12232951
>>12232970
If you're not here to help me get salmonella will you please get out?

[Anonymous No.12233006]

benzoyl benzoyl peroxide peroxide

[jevin No.12233092]

>>12232933
>>12232937
>>12232951
>>12232970

Seriously guys this isn't fun anymore! i'm gonna call my dad, he will get an internet lawyer and then this site will face serious consequences!

[jevin No.12233111]

I wonder if the milk in the fridge is still good

[jevin No.12233112]

>>12233092
>>12232970
>>12232951
>>12232937
>>12232933
Hey come on how am I supposed to be taken seriously on this site if you people keep impersonating me. I AM IN A STATE OF WITHDRAWAL YOU JERKS!!!
>>12232977
You're the worst offender for not even bothering to put in a name. I'm calling facebook!

[Anonymous No.12233139]

>>12231565
put chicken out in the open for a few hours, then consume raw.

[jevin No.12233150]

>>12233139
Yeah that's what I did, internet says it takes 6-24 hours to show symptoms. Here's to hoping it works boys.

[jevin No.12233155]

>>12233112
We've got all the pain and anguish a multiple personality disorder can provide, who needs Salmonella Fitz Gerald anymore?

[jevin No.12233175]

>>12233111

Dammit it is. No salmonella for me in there either. That makes me sad :(

[jevin No.12233185]

>>12233175
don't worry we just need to wait until the raw chicken starts doing its work

[Anonymous No.12233226]

>>12232386
Good luck anon i hope you get sober

[Anonymous No.12233249]

I only happy when you maybe die?

[jevin No.12233305]

>>12233226
Thanks
>>12233249
Rude, probably Mexican

[jevin No.12233327]

Salm O'nella you say?
Sounds like a good fellow

[Anonymous No.12233514]

>>12231565
I know the for profit medical system sucks in the US, but surely you can just turn yourself over to some govt. agency (not the fascist police bootstrappers of course) asking for an in patient state funded treatment program, no? Of course it has the potentisl to have you branded with a scarlet letter "A" which coul inhibit future employment possibilities, so there's that.

Packaged ground turkey or chicken eaten raw would be the best way to get salmonella, I suspect.

[Anonymous No.12233546]

>>12232229
Why would they willingly want hiv? What's the benefit?

[jevin No.12233549]

SIEG HEIL

FUCK JANNIES, KIKES AND NIGGERS

[Anonymous No.12233550]

>>12231565
eat raw chicken

[Anonymous No.12233551]

Why the fuck would you even want salmonella? It just gives you the shits for about a week, which you should be used to anyway if you're a burger.
If you're an immunelet and a double retard then it might kill you.

[Anonymous No.12233689]

>>12233551
Nope. I contracted it in the peak of health, cardio everyday, lifting 3 times/week and it was brutal. You shit and puke everything out within the 1st 24 hours but that's the easy part. Every inch of your body is aching like a bad case of influenza X 10. You run a high fever and don't sleep, just have jumbled, absurd, nightmarish random images flashing through your brain. You barely have the strength to stand up, you have to crawl with frequent breaks. This goes on for 4 days, at least it did for me. I dlowly started to improve after that but even at 2 weeks I was only @ 90%. You can clearly see how people die from it if you ever have it. Quite frsnkly, cold turkey heroin withdrawal is probably less painful.

[Anonymous No.12234939]

>>12233092
>>12233112
jesus christ you sound like a 40 year old, please stop.

[Anonymous No.12235585]

>>12233546
literally sheer degeneracy. the repeated, emphatic warnings we've had from our elders for thousands of years weren't just nonsensical superstition after all. pork, shellfish, tattoos and faggotry all cause the spread of pathogenic micro organisms. our ancestors would have thought that it was a curse by god, they didn't know of bacteria. fridges and antibiotics make most things safe now, but they don't work on faggot assholes, they're still as perilous as ever. hence since we ignored the warnings, twice as many people are dead from HIV than were killed during ww1.

fags are mentally ill. they don't even know what they want. chopping their dicks off thinking it makes them female, thinking that sloshing your cock around in some mentally ill moron's asshole constitutes sex as opposed to mental illness... encouraging these things is why we're about to face mass extinction when HIV 2.0 is spawned by the shit-eaters, or maybe it'll be airborne and the planet will be wiped clean of human life. They almost managed it in the 80's, and their response to being begged for decades to stop the millions dying, is to start doing it on purpose.
Degenerates, mental illness.

[Anonymous No.12235895]

>>12233551
>It just gives you the shits for about a week
you're likely to need your entire large intestine removed permanently and replaced with a colostomy. there's also a high chance of death from complications thereafter. op should go for it.

[Anonymous No.12235917]

>>12231565
im pretty sure i had some salmonella poisoning today. took a huge watery shit that smelled like death. didnt really fell that bad and once i shit it all out i feel great. maybe my immune system is just god like

[Anonymous No.12235939]

>>12235585
>muh mentally ill faggots and degeneracy
If you're trying to present yourself as less retarded than the faggots who purposely seek out faggots with HIV, you should at least try to construct a sentence yourself instead of straight copying and pasting arguments you found on the whiny baby politics board of an anime website. I'm in no way defending faggots or their love of sucking shit out of each others asses, but when /pol/ddit children whine about them I become confused as to which side I hate less.

[Anonymous No.12235947]

>>12235939
uh huh. i don't use pol. i loathe pol. what is wrong with you that you'd think the only conceivable reason i don't want everyone to be at risk of death by faggot plague, is that i was convinced that it's bad by a bunch of children?

we wouldn't accept this shit of a serialkillersexual, and they'd only have to kill 3. fags with plagues in this very thread, could see their precious pathogens passed from generation to generation for thousands of years, so untold numbers of deaths will result from every one of them. all thanks to our ignorantly asserting that the thousands of years of repeated warnings were all superstitious nonsense.

[Anonymous No.12235973]

Buy a ton of eggs from different farms, put them all in a blender, drink a cup of your blend. Repeat until you get lucky and hit a salmonella-infected egg.

[Anonymous No.12236026]

>>12235585
>pork, shellfish, and tattoos cause degeneracy
Wow, your kind aren't even trying to be subtle anymore huh, Mr. Shekelgoldburgenstein?

[Anonymous No.12236035]

>>12236026
i didn't say that. they cause the spread of pathogenic micro organisms. it would have been thought to be a curse by god. invisible forces would bring forth infections, boils, plagues, disease. we now have fridges and anti bacterials, but they don't work on men who cover themselves in shit and swap diseases for fun - those insane motherfuckers are still killing tens of millions people globally.
i'm agnostic btw, not even religious.